Exposure Therapy First Session

Edit: to Exposure Therapy, some spelling errors and grammatical errors.

I knocked on the door. Man I was nervous, I had never done anything like this before. A sign on the door read "Doctor Cox".

I couldn't get my head straight, I really didn't want to be here. This was so embarrassing.

I felt like leaving, but that fought didn't have time go further before the door opened.

The person opening the door was a beautiful woman, wearing glasses, a smart black business suit with a white blouse that showed just a little bit of cleavage and a tight pen skirt that ended just above her knees. She was a head shorter the me even thought she was wearing heels.

"Hello" she said with a smile. "How can I help you?"

"H-hi my name is Sander, I booked an appointment to see Doctor Cox." I had never been good at talking to women, but this stunning woman made me blush and feel even more nervous, then I'd recently been.

"Oh great, you're my last patient of the day. I am doctor Britney Cox. Nice to meet you Sander." She held out her hand, and we shook hand. She had a firm grip.

Was THIS the woman I were going to tell my secrets too?! I felt my cheeks burning even more.

"O-oh okay, on the phone I talked to a man. I thought the therapist was going to be male." I said a little sheepishly.

"That was my previous secretary you talked too, it was his last day last week, so I'm looking for a new secretary. But don't worry about that sweetie, you're in good hands. Follow me into my office, and we'll get started."

She turned around and started walking towards another door at the end of a short corridor.

I closed the door and followed, through the reception and the small corridor into her office. I didn't notice anything of the reception or the paintings on the walls. Because my whole hearted focus were on Doctor Cox's shapely behind. I felt like maybe having a gorgeous therapist wasn't a bad thing.

The therapist office was very typical. Just like what I thought a therapist's office should look like.

Big wooden desk with a laptop on it. A comfy looking couch and an armchair next to it.

"Have a seat in the sofa and we'll get started immediately." Next to the armchair was a little table with a clipboard with papers on it.

She seated herself in the armchair and I sat down on the couch.

"Actually lay down in the couch instead, you seem very tense and I want you to be in a relaxed and comfortable state. You have to be in the right mindset."

This all sounded great to me. I didn't mind looking up into the ceiling. Maybe that could help me think of other thoughts. Then the perverted things I were thinking of, about my new therapist.

"So this is how I want you to start, I want you to tell me why you're here. From the beginning. Think of it as telling a story of your life, whatever comes to mind just say it. I will be taking a few notes and might ask a couple of questions along the way. Remember that this is a safe space, and I am here to help you. Take three deep breaths, close your eyes and tell me why you're here."

I was still nervous, but after I did what she said, took my deep breaths and closed my eyes. I felt calmer. Then my thoughts started pouring out of my mouth.

"I feel like I have a porn addiction. It started innocently enough. I was watching vanilla porn, when I stumbled upon a JOI clip."

"What dose that stand for?" Miss Cox asked.

Of course she wouldn't know what JOI stood for. "A-ah a Jerk off instructions clip. That's where a woman tells you how to get off, and I really liked having a women tell me how to pleasure myself. I felt like I was learning the ropes from experienced women. so I started watching more of these videos. And felt like this was the best thing.

I had heard that the porn industry was really abusive towards women, and that had always made me feel bad for watching porn. But in this, they were just by themselves and filming. Like they were deciding on what they wanted to say and do.

See I always felt bad for how women are treated in society, and having them be the one in charge for once, felt like the right thing. But then some of the videos started to be a little more dominant towards the watcher. Telling me to get down on my knees and stroke, or kiss their ass while stroking. Telling me what a good boy I was being. All this turned me on very much. But eventually this to started to become the norm of what I was watching. The videos started to become even more profound." I took a gulp and breathed deep.

"In what way where they profound?" Doctor Cox asked.

"Well, they were becoming more explicit on things that I should do to be allowed to cum."

"Allowed huh, what kind of things were you required to do?" She asked.

"There a lot of thing they can tell me to do.

As long as I was hard I practically couldn't say no to the woman in the video. If they said that I edge myself I would do that."

"What does that imply?" She asked.

"To be just on the edge of orgasm without cumming. Until finally you are allowed to cum."

"Isn't that tormenting?" She asked.

"When you're in the moment you just want to please the goddess telling you what to do."

"The goddess?" When she said this I felt like she said it in a way that she was interested on a different level. But that thought soon disappeared. When I felt myself start to blush again.

"Y-yeah well, some of the women call themselves that, and wants you to call them that as well."

Doctor Cox noticed that I was getting nervous again and told me.

"Remember that this is a safe space, everything you say will never leave this office, and I'm here for you to make you feel better about everything that is troubling your mind. Now, take three deep breaths for me and continue your story. "What more did the goddesses in the videos tell you?"

I took my deep breaths and continued.

"Well I feel like I've really went down a spiral, one that I don't know how to get out of. That's why I came here. I stumbled upon a CEI clip which stand for cum eating instructions. Where you are instructed to eat your own cum, then it became anal play clips. Where they tell you how to play with your own ass, and the latest that made me seek help is sissy, cuckold and BBC clips." I felt my cheeks once more start to burn, I did it. I actually did it. The words had been said, and I felt a huge weight leave my shoulders.

"Sadly I don't really know what you mean by sissy, cuckold and BBC clips. You have to go into more detail on what the Goddesses have you do." She once again could see my nervousness by my demeanor and my blushing cheeks, they must have been red as strawberries by now.

"But first, just imagine a pair of stairs that you are slowly walking down from, and with every step down, you feel calmer and calmer. Taking deep breaths as you go."

I started taking deep breaths and envisioning the stairs. Feeling myself starting to relax.

"At the bottom of the steps is a bed, it's your own bed. You lay down there and feel so comfortable. All stress and negativity evaporates, and you feel so good and safe.

Now, tell me about these clips. What are they about, and how do they make you feel. Now that you are safe in your own bed."

I felt myself relaxing and enjoying what I envisioned.

"Sissy clips often talks about feminizing you and what you as a sissy is expected to do. Often they tell you what "real men" needs, and since you're not a real man. That's what you can give them."

She interrupted with. "I know what real men needs as well, and I can understand that you can find this very erotic. If you feel yourself inferior to these goddesses, and want to please them, and you do what they order you to do. What types of commands do they give?"

Britney Cox were getting flushed herself. What was she doing? She started feeling horny, what had come over her? She had never felt like this with a patient before. But something about that pretty young man talking about all his fetishes had made her wet.

That was a weird interruption she made, she thought. "That she also knew what real men needs." Why did she say that. But he didn't seem to think to much of it. He seemed to feel safe with his new therapist.

I continued.

"Depending on the clip they want... "

She interrupted again. "Say the goddess instead of they in the future. So that you're in the right mindset."

I continued. "Depending on the clip, the goddess wants me to do different tasks.

In a sissy clip the goddess wants you to be in panties, wear a chastity cage and practice sucking cock or sometimes finger my ass. Or in their words my "sissy pussy".

"A chastity cage, is that a little cage for your penis?" Doctor Cox asked with mischievous grin on her face. But made sure that you couldn't here her smirking in her voice.

"Yeah that's right. But I only pretend that I got one on. I've never bought one."

"When they tell you to suck cock, what do you do then? Have you bought a thick dildo that you can suck on?" She asked with a very professional tone. Like the questions weren't inappropriate at all.

"I haven't bought a dildo either, I have bought a buttplug but after I bought it. That's when I started to realize that I have a problem. So to answer your question. I only imagine sucking."

"Before you talked about BBC, does that stand for Big Black Cock? I think I've read the term in a study." She looked at her patient, he looked like he was struggling not to get too turned on. His eyes closed shut in concentration and he had a little tent in his pants. With a red blush on his cheeks.

She knew exactly what BBC stood for in this context. Her favorite porn to watch was interracial, with a white woman like herself and a hunky black man with a BBC.

"Yes that's what it stands for." I answered meekly.

"So in these clips where the goddess tells you to get on your knees and suck this big cock. Is there a hunky black guy with a BBC next to her. Or how does she just tell you to do it without any visual aid?" Wow this really turned her on, she wanted to know every dirty little detail of this guys fantasies.

Why did I have to go in such detail? What that so important? She was the expert, and I had already told her this much. If I could stop this addiction I would be over the moon. So of course I had to do what she said.

"There is never a guy there, either there's a dildo that is shown or the goddess is wearing a strap-on and sometimes there are pictures of cocks popping up next to the goddess."

"I see, you said something about cuckold clips, what are they?"

"It's when a wife or a girlfriend cheats, and the husband or boyfriend is okay with them cheating. It's often very humiliating which is something I don't like."

"And you pretend you're the "man" in the relationship, and not the hunk doing the fucking?" When the doctor said "man" you could clearly here the air quotes on the word.

"Yeah, sometimes the goddess makes you watch them fuck, or comes home after her date, and wants to be cleaned."

"So you bath her after she's been with her "real man"?" When she said this the air quotes wasn't as audible.

"Well, there is most often a creampie in her pussy or sometimes her ass, and the focus is often cleaning that part... with my mouth." I remembered that she probably didn't know what a creampie was. So I clarified. "A creampie is when someone cums inside a pussy."

There were a pause for a couple of seconds, then Doctor Cox asked.

"With all this said, what in your behavior do you wish to change?"

"I feel so bad after watching these kinds of clips. I feel humiliated, and sometimes they call me a loser, and I really don't like that. That's when I really feel bad. I don't want to be a loser." The last part came with little snivel and I almost started to cry a little.

"Oh Sweetie, come her." She said with an almost motherly voice.

I opened my eyes and she came next to the couch. I sat up swinging my legs to the floor.

Before I could rise, she stood in front of me.

She had taken off her suit jacket and was just wearing her blouse. If she was wearing a bra it must have been very thin, because you could clearly see her nipples through the garment. Her breasts were a little above my eyes and it seemed like a little more of her cleavage was showing. But that must just have been my imagination. Wishful thinking. I hadn't noticed before that her breasts were quite so large. My focus had been on her round behind. She stepped in real close so that her feet were between mine.

She started patting and stroking my hair very gently. Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her. I felt her breast rest on the top of my head. As I leaned my head to one side and let my face rest on her tummy.

I wrapped my arms around her, and since she was standing in front of me. My arms went around her lovely behind.

I almost froze when I realized what I was doing and came back to reality.

She felt me tensing up and started speaking while still stroking my hair.

"Their now my sweet boy. Just relax and and take deep breaths."

When I started doing what she told me to, I once again felt the calming effect she was having on me.

"That's my Good Boy, just relax and let me take away all your worries.

Of course you feel bad when someone calls you a loser, and I want you to know that you are not a loser. Tell me you're not a loser."

I felt so good, how could she make me feel so relaxed and so right. Just me hugging her and her stroking my hair made me feel so safe.

"I'm not a loser." I replied in a whisper.

"Sweetie I want you to call me Ma'am from now on okay?" Doctor Cox said with a motherly voice, still stroking my hair.

"Yes Ma'am." I replied softly.

"Good boy, I AM a therapist and just need to be sure what YOU want to fix with your addiction, do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am."

She continued.

"Now I can understand your fascination of BBC, they ARE very enticing. But I also understand that you feel bad for being called a loser. I want you to know that you are absolutely not a loser. Say again that you're not a loser."

"I'm not a loser Ma'am."

"Good Boy, how can you be a loser if you just do what you're told by a goddess? That doesn't make sense does it?"

"No Ma'am it doesn't."

"That's right. So you want to stop feeling humiliated and stop feeling like a loser. Is that right?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"And all these tasks that the goddesses gives you. Do you like to do them as well?"

"Well I love doing them, but I feel humiliated afterwards Ma'am. I feel like I am a loser after I cum."

She took a couple of seconds to respond.

"Okey, then I know what we have to do. In order for you to keeping doing what you love we have to change your way. Expand your mindset. Do you understand?"

I didn't really understand, how could I keep jerking off to clips and at the same time change my ways? But she was the doctor, and this would give me a new start. A new me.

"Yes Ma'am, I understand."

"Good boy."

End part 1