All Comments on 'Extra Special Fun on New Year’s Eve'

WOW !!! What an amazing story. You had me hooked right away and the final payoff was incredible.

Thank you for your comment, badandmys5402! I plan on continuing this story in a series, so stay tuned! I plan on submitting the next part before the beginning of next week.

Good, fun story. Well worth the read. Here's some constructive criticism:

- Your first 3-4 paragraphs set up the NYE party, Katie, and the main guy, but you also describe the guy being in IT, WiFi, internet issues. Therefore, I figured that info would come back later in the story somehow. It didn't, so I don't know why you spent so many words writing about it. It's Chekhov's Gun. If something is important enough to write into a story, you better make it pay off.

- The story proceeded pretty much exactly as expected, i.e. friend comes over, things get tipsy and flirty, sex happens. Don't get me wrong, you used wonderful descriptions and the sex was hot, but it ended up oral, oral, sex, done. Plus Katie never really got involved. This story could've eliminated Katie and the end would have been exactly the same.

- I know this was about the guy fantasizing about Cori, but him lusting so desperately for her while being engaged (and Katie an afterthought) took me out of the story a bit.

- Chekhov's gun again: why write about watersports, then not have it happen? Why say Cori loves to be dominated, then not have the guy dominate her?

This was a great start to a promising erotica writing hobby/career, so I hope my comments are helpful. Keep up the great work and keep writing!