All Comments on 'Eye of the Lepus'

Great story, You discussed a few taboo subjects that you don't read about too often even on this website, which made this story more interesting. Maybe it went a little too long on some parts, but it still worked.

5-stars.

Good story, but how about one more chapter where he gets his sight back. You already opened up the possibility.

Mormons not believing in birth control? it's the Catholics that don't believe in birth control. this story came off as totally unrealistic, noble, and way to formal, even from a "Mormon" stand point. it seems that the parents, the oldest boy, and oldest sister trying to come off as martyers. Why would she need two pills for abortion in another state? They have planned parenthood in idaho that could do the same things? This story just affirms my thoughts on how screwed up the thought processes of Mormons are, especially idaho Mormons. Makes me want to question of how much of a Mormon the author is or isn’t. i've dubbed idaho as utah 2 because they're just as bad as the utah mormons thought processes.

Interesting story....

A lot of details..about various bodily functions as well as the abortion.

More to the point, I'm not sure the children of a straight laced family would be that open with each other. They seemed awfully comfortable being naked together and discussing sex.

The only LDS-owned college in Eastern Idaho is in Rexburg where the family livrs, so Roger would have loved at home.

I don't think LDS schools are quite as repressive as you made them out to be.

Certainly, they are not hotbeds of sin, and premarital sex is taboo, but they do encourage dating, dancing and relationships.

They do allow coffee and soda. Recently while visiting SLC, I had lunch in a church office building, they offered both.

And thanks for being reasonably respectful of the church.

I'm not a member but I have many friends who are, all devout and are pleased with the role of their church in their lives.

Love and let live...what a concept.

It's best to keep religion out of your stories especially when you seem to only know the bare basics about the religion. Abortion isn't banned by the LDS religion, it's frowned on just like it most others but that's it. She also wouldn't be wearing garments to begin with and there is so much more wrong. Just keep religion out of your stories they have no purpose there and in this case took in down in enjoyability.

Story isn't what I was expecting. Much more "every day" goings on. This made the story more interesting & less. I think you should've spent more time describing the characters & the sexual experiences for them. Also, didn't see or feel any reason for the 2 to become partners / lovers. You could've just said Roger was away at university & explained he played football, in a paragraph or 2. Why spend so much time on his eyesight in the beginning & not use it, until the end?

My big issue is with your story tags. You've used: Abortion, Romance, Gambling, Sickness, Healing, Mormons, & the last 4 -Blind in 1 eye, Reno Nevada, Ex-mormons & Incest-Adults are new categories assigned only to this story, you created them, I guess. I'd suggest you check the list of Story Tags already created & use those so others can find like stories here. Try to use established tags if you can.

I would have not listed Blind in 1 eye b/c you didn't use it much as a plot point, you explain it in the beginning & once in the end, but it really doesn't help the story, it didn't contribute to Roger's going home or his driving his sister or him & Ada getting together.

Reno, Nevada -okay nice to know where the characters are, but again you're the only 1 using this tag. I looked, over 20 pages use Reno & 1 page for Nevada, as a story tag. You could have used them separately, too.

Ex-morons & incest-adults, again not used but may be useful to others in the future, if someone writes a story with these elements. I'd have changed it to siblings &/ or brother sister or brother & sister separately. You might've added sisters since 1 of the younger sisters, Clara was it, gets involved toward the end?

The synopsis of the story would garner you a five. While most of the writing was pretty good, there were several times when you didn't put enough thought into getting from A to B. It's like there was never any backstory for Ada falling in love with Roger. She gets to Reno and suddenly she wants to fuck her own brother. While I was specifically searching for Brother/Sister incest stories when I stumbled across this one, I was still left feeling like "What in the hell just happened?" 😳

Adding to the confusion, there's several times that your story became totally contrived and unbelievable. For example, this quote here:

"I told you the truth, Ada, you're so beautiful. And also, naked! Let's have a shower together, please." And so they did." I've seen High School students write better than that. You had a GREAT idea for a story, but you didn't really put in enough hard work to build it and flesh out the details. 3/5

[Author's note:] Thanks for ALL comments. LDS official statement Mar. 2021 against abortion. BYU still bans coffee to this day, even for visitors. Characters didn't want to be seen visiting P. P. office or trying to get ab. pills in their small Idaho town. Ada was endowed (garmented) but then decided not to go on a mission, took them off before story starts. All these things I should have put in the story, sorry.

BUY has rather more strict rules than many, perhaps most Mormons.

Like the Catholics or certainly other churches, they come in all shapes of devoured to the official rules.

Most of my LDS friends stick very close to the orthodoxy, but still drink Diet colas. One had a very contentious divorce, but he and his ex are still members.

I'm sure others still belong to the church for family unity (peace) but only go to church on holidays. The more devout in the family might shake their heafs, but still love them as family.