Family Honour

'Shiva, today despite meeting in unimaginable, unexpected, fateful and strange circumstances, the inevitable mating happened between us. My longing pent-up desire to mate with you has been increasing ever since our first meeting. My mind, soul and body responded to your love and touch. I am surprised that you did not hesitate to arouse, excite, entice, enthrall, enter and fuck me today to satisfy my desire. You have awakened my dormant and pent up desires. I had been faithful wife to my inept husband until today, whether he fucked me or not. You made me a sinful slut today.

Shiva, 'do you think I am an amoral, amorous, cock crazy, concupiscent, debauched, depraved, iniquitous, insane, horny, kinky, incestuous, lascivious, lecherous, libidinous, lubricious, yearning, unethical, sex starved sizzling slut actively arousing, encouraging, inviting, indulging, seeking, giving, sharing and receiving carnal animalistic sexual pleasure to quench my sexual desires instead of feeling sorrow and pain, satisfying my desire instead of feeling depressed, satisfying my lust instead of lamenting, moaning with pleasure instead of mourning, cooing and crooning instead of crying, groaning instead of grieving, squirting instead of sobbing, rejoicing instead of refusing, wallowing instead of weeping, offering my cunt instead of objecting, opening up my cunt like a slut and giving myself shamelessly to an young man who wants to share my pain and agony, comfort and console me, young enough to be my son, on this fateful and sorrowful day when my son is dead and his cold lifeless body lying in a mortuary?'

Here I am in the arms of my dream man, my god. I opened and submitted myself completely shamelessly uninhibitedly surrendered to you like a slut, offering and opening myself and my cunt to my son's friend, a young man of my son's age, immensely enjoying being fucked thoroughly by your monstrous cock and enjoying carnal sinful pleasure of being fucked thoroughly like a cow ready for mating.' Shiva, I behaved like a selfish, self-centered self-indulgent slut, pleasure seeking wanton woman with carnal desire. Do I deserve to receive and enjoy such love, heavenly pleasure and feel happy especially today?

I listened to her every word attentively and fascinated by her feelings as she revealed her inner most thoughts. It was as if she was pouring out her feelings and inner most thoughts, she was afraid of admitting to herself in the form of words loudly. She continued her monologue, pouring out her feelings. It was like catharsis and abreaction. She was in the process of self-analyzing, self-criticizing, absolution, purification and seeking my approval of her behavior, trying to absolve herself from guilt conscious.

Amma, do not criticize yourself. You are not guilty. We have not committed any sin. There is no reason for you to blame yourself. You have not done anything wrong to feel guilty or blame yourself. Because energy knots from emotional wounds are found in the area of the body where feelings are held and processed and also associated with sexuality the sacred intimacy and sexual healing process uses sexual energy to reveal, clear, and release any "energy knots" The conscious activation of these energy knots allows the previous pent-up energy to flow naturally and return the receiver to vitality and full experience of their sexuality. The benefits of which are: less stress, fear and anxiety while adding greater self-awareness and capacity for intimacy in relationship. Breath, sensual touch, movement, sound and visualization create opportunities for discovery, release, and integration of the contracted energy knots, emotional wounds, or desperate feelings.

Amma, with the right partner the Receiver can relax and open to the wisdom of the body and spirit to direct the session's experience. For the Giver, it takes an understanding of the partner's needs with sincere intention and steadfast attentive presence to create the safe and sacred container where the partner feels safe and able to relax and open up within.

Amma, When experienced regularly, Sacred Intimacy sessions allow a person to stay in-touch with developing feelings while discovering previously hidden sources of compulsive behavior or unconscious motivation and clear or release what wants to be let go of, process and integrate disparate feelings —while providing more clarity and deeper connection in relationship not to mention personal understanding and empowerment. Amma, what you have experienced is called sexual healing.

Shiva, Have I not committed ultimate unpardonable sin fucking today? Is it not forbidden to get fucked today? When you hugged me, involuntarily my breasts became bigger and full with love to feed you. I wanted my breasts sucked and emptied by you. Surprisingly, I lactated when you sucked my breasts. I experienced pleasure similar to the higher state of bliss and pleasure achieved in yoga or meditation. You opened, filled and stretched my cunt completely. Shiva, I am surprised at myself submitting my body, to be fucked by you, opening all my pores experiencing the bliss, ultimate joy uninhibitedly and endlessly such an intense pleasure having continuous multiple endless orgasms hitherto unknown to me. You ignited fire in my mind and body and I could not help but melt in your indulging and intimate embrace and kissing. You made me forget all inhibitions, moral ethics and indulge in forbidden, sinful, abandoned and taboo sex.

Shiva, I did not object, rather I welcomed, and submitted to you willingly and uninhibitedly. Don't you think that I should have objected.

Yes, Amma, I thought you would object. I was afraid that you would chide me while I was hugging and pressing my cock against you. You did not object. You reciprocated willingly with equal enthusiasm and eagerness when you felt hardness of my cock and hugged me tightly.

Any sane woman would have got offended, objected, avoided, refused fucking today. If our fucking happened on any other day it is different. Why did I not object? You may also think I am insane. I have to tell you that I was thinking of you yesterday night while travelling, recalled our first meeting and mutual fatal attraction we had, knowing we will meet today. I am glad that I did not object. However I did not imagine that we will have such a romantic passionate mating. I submitted and surrendered to you, despite strange and unbelievable circumstances, I now feel happy and lucky that you fucked and made me orgasm thrice continuously in one fucking session, which I never knew or imagined I could experience. Your cock is so big that you almost raped me. It is so intensive that all my juices have been drained out. I never imagined that a woman can have such continuous multiple intense orgasms.

'Shiva, Is it not insane and sin to get fucked by you and experience such incredible pleasures today?'

Padma, it is not a sin to have passionate sex and pleasure on any day, even today. Time and place does not matter. Sex is beautiful and divine experience. We enjoyed the experience. If it is a sin, let it be. It is necessary sin for us. We both committed the pleasurable sin. We should continue to have pleasures of sin.

Shiva, 'Do you think so? Getting fucked by you may not be a sin. But, It is definitely immoral and unethical to have an extramarital affair with an young man of my son's age. Is not a sin that a mother getting fucked by her son's friend on the day even before the funeral when her son is dead and his body is lying on cold slab in a mortuary? What can be more sinful act that a mother can commit on a day like this? If someone else comes to know about what happened now between us, they would think that I am an amoral, indecent, insatiable, selfish, sinful, sex hungry horny slut, cock crazy unethical bitch and a wanton whore. People may even think that I am a sex maniac, having abnormal psyche seduced you, an young man that too her son's best friend. They may think I am a slut having many lovers. They may think that we have been lovers having extramarital affair and you have been fucking me for years, and I could not wait to get fucked by you today. I would not have imagined and definitely not endorsed if someone else tells me such incident could happen. Tell me Shiva, 'what do you think of me honestly. Am I not an immoral and unethical slut? Tell me, Shiva that I am your slut only''

Padma, You may be called immoral and unethical for cheating your husband. 'You are a lovely sex goddess an angel. You have denied yourself having sexual pleasure so long. I suggest you should unnecessarily not worry about what others will think of us. No one will know. We will not be telling the world. What happened today is between you and me and important to us. It is divine intervention. We love each other. We are definitely not abnormal, crazy, immoral and unethical. You and I are perfectly normal people who are madly in love with each other. We want to experience, enjoy and have each other. We did not imagine that we would meet again in such circumstances. We have not done anything to be ashamed. What happened today is natural and normal expression of loving, romantic passionate union and unique expression of love between us. We have been in love with each other ever since we met for the first time. We are soul mates. We are made for each other. We are perfect couple. We have been in love with each other ever since we met. We have been waiting to meet again and today we have met. It really does not matter that I am younger to you and happens to be your son's friend. It might be divine interference that we should make love today, especially today.

Shiva, Do you think that our inevitable meeting and mating today is because of divine intervention. I think it is your intervention. I have been dreaming about you. Today you have become my God and Master.

Amma, I am not a stranger to you. We have been in love with each other ever since we met first time. We are soul mates. We have been lovers ever since. You being married, and being mother of my best friend does not change my affection, desire and love for you. It is extramarital. Yes. It may be unethical and immoral to have sex with an young man other than your husband as per societal standards.

Padma, People may also obviously assume that I have taken undue advantage of a helpless grieving mother, misused the opportunity and in the name of showing empathy and consoling seduced you and fucked you. But I feel that I have to do it.

Amma, 'today your long awaited love and dormant desires flared up. I understand, your desire after losing your son, your need to have your son back in you, especially now, you want your son in you, you wanted to take him back into your body. You see your son in me. Since you could not take him back into you, you have opened yourself to me, desired me and invited me to enter you, taken me into you, allowed me to enter your open cunt, to explore your depths, your body and soul, receiving me into you and opening up for me. Your abundant love for your son and pent up sexual desire simmering like volcano for a long time as a woman prompted you to have a man to fill you and fulfill you.

Shiva, You only can understand me completely, my inner thoughts, appreciate my feelings and know my mind so well, Shiva you have put my feelings into words so clearly and succulently better than I could have expressed. You make me confess, pour out my secret desires and dreams. I need you. I have been waiting for you to satisfy my desires, to share and shower my love and to make my dreams come true. It happened on this peculiar day in an unbelievable way.

Shiva, I would have definitely submitted and surrendered myself to you, invited you to have me, had there been an occasion to meet you again, after our first meeting. If you had stayed one more day after the wedding I would have definitely invited you and offered myself to you. You would have fucked me. Today, the loss of my son triggered both my motherly instinct and long awaited desire for you, actually flared up when you hugged and kissed me showering love. I was not thinking, It so happened in such a natural way. You did not give me a chance even to sort out my feelings. You excited me to an uncontrollable state of desire and I was ready and in urgent need to take you into me. Your kissing me with so much love flared up my desire. You entered me, opened me and filled me with your cock. It was like you actually opened me psychologically and physically today.

I would have come into your arms instantly the moment we meet second time in normal circumstances. You have become my god and my religion. I have been thinking of you, about you, about us ever since I saw you. Even yesterday night while travelling all through journey, I thought of you, knowing that you will be there to meet me with your handsome personality, charming chivalrous confident attitude. I remembered our first meeting and I am not ashamed to confess to you that I had feelings of anticipation, sexual tension, feeling of pining, a deliciously uncomfortable sensation that was both exciting and excruciating. Instead of feelings of depression, I was expecting you to be with me when I arrive here. Ever since our first meeting I was expecting you would take me and fuck me in the second meeting. Oblivious of today's circumstances disregarding logic and reason, in my mind I was expecting that you would take me. I was surprised at my own self having such thoughts. The moment I got down from the car, I was relieved to see you and instantly came into your strong protective arms, as if it was the most natural thing to do. I was upset and angry with my son, knowing the reason of his death was that he could not fuck his wife. He could have taken help, undergone medical treatment and could have been cured of his ED problem. I was angry with my husband because he passed on his weak genes. Despite of having anger, grief and helplessness your thoughts surrounded me. I remembered your charming, confident, handsome, masculine, irresistible personality. In the night, while travelling, I recalled feeling your male hardness pressing against my hips when you stood behind me during the wedding ceremony, which excited me and aroused me. I did not expect this intense spark of chemistry and romantic love and lust leading to amazing sexual experience and satisfaction because I did know such heavenly experience of continuous orgasms can exist.

Shiva, 'Would you have fucked to console any other woman in similar situation, if it is not me. Would you have fucked your own mother in similar circumstances?'

Why did you stay back with me, when all your friends went to the Hospital.

Padma, it is a strange and hypothetical question. Every circumstance is unique. Perhaps I would have fucked any other woman to console, even my mother, if the woman responds like you have to my touch, hugging and cuddling. I would have fucked my own mother or any other woman too without any inhibition to heal them sexually. However, I never felt such an intense strong desire to fuck and love at first sight with any other woman, except you. For me Love between a man and woman means fuck. I do not believe in so called platonic relationship between a man and woman.

Padma, the first time we met I felt that we knew each other for a long time, , longing and waiting to meet, know of each other's existence, familiar with each other, and know about each other intimately for many years but separated by unknown forces. Perhaps our relationship extends beyond this life, existing for so many janmas. Perhaps you were my wife, mother, sister, niece, friend or lover in earlier janmas. It might be you are related to me one way or other in each reincarnation. I feel we have been waiting for an occasion to meet and unite. Padma, Sex is sacred and not a sin. Sex has to be considered as a beautiful unique positive expression of the life force.

She said, 'you are right. 'I also had similar feelings that I know you for a long time. You are an expert in mind reading and understanding others' inner feelings.

Shiva, "At the moment of orgasm I knew that I was in a great, golden light and I experienced myself as transparent, luminous energy. I saw seven star-like, golden, swirling points that lined up in my body. My energy centers looked like radiant golden lights in my body. Every inch of my body undergone blissful experience "

Padma, what you had visualized was the life force freely flowing through all seven energy centers that were illuminated and energized by your orgasm. Very few people can have such spiritual sexual experience and spontaneous ecstatic experiences like you. To have such experience repeatedly is rare and eternal.

Shiva, you gave me the ultimate unimaginable experience, you are my Lord and Master. I am your slave, dasi, bhaktha.

Shiva, thinking of my son, I should have helped my son with love. I could have taught him to fuck. It is so simple, because he could not fuck his wife during first three nights, and subsequently when they were together, he must have thought he was impotent. He came back to college probably depressed and frustrated. He should have told you, being his best friend.

Was he completely impotent? How do you know Amma?

He thought so. Perhaps he was. He wrote an apologetic letter to his wife, a week back and she showed it to me. I was planning to talk to him, help him fuck me with love, if necessary and he would have learnt how to fuck a woman. "He should have told me, come to me, I would have made his cock big and hard. She took my cock into her hands stroking it and said, 'He could have fucked me. I would have helped him enter my cunt and fuck me. I would have taught him how to fuck a woman. Why he did not share with me, talk to me in confidence, he knows I love him. I would have encouraged him to fuck me.

Padma, now I understand and guess he wanted to fuck you. He was in love with you. He used to see your photo album and admire your beauty. He saw you in his wife and wanted her to love him, and wanted her to show love and affection like a mother, fondle him like a lover, and make his cock erect and bigger, help him to enter her, guide him with love, and take him, his cock into her and fuck him like a mother. But he could not tell her and he could not fuck her unless she makes him big and hard lovingly. Padma, tell me honestly, you would have offered yourself to your son and fucked by him, had he expressed his desire?

Shiva, honestly yes, I would have fucked him. Had I known that he wants to fuck me, I would not have hesitated to fuck him though it is taboo and incest. I would have helped make his cock erect and bigger to fuck me. I should have known his desire for me. I should have fucked him to save his life.

Padma, he might have expected you to do just that, take the lead, initiate him lovingly, make his cock erect and bigger, seduce and fuck him. He desired you, wanted to fuck you or wanted you fuck him. He could not express his feelings to you because of taboo. He wanted you to know his feelings and initiate him. He was waiting for you to take his cock into your cunt. He was waiting for you to fuck him. He might have been afraid of expressing his desire for you and could not do so fearing your rejection and losing your motherly love too. you should have fucked him.

Shiva, how can I take the lead and intimate him being his mother? You know very well that a woman always wants and waits for the man to take the lead, initiate, seduce, praise and woo her to submit and make love. My son should have treated me like his girl friend and seduced me. You are an expert in this art of seducing and fucking women. You should have advised your friend that he should treat his mother like his girl friend, seduce and fuck his mother.

Yes. Padma, I know what a woman wants. Woman, whatever their age wants caring, to be treated like a young girl during the process of seduction and courtship. Do you mean that I should have advised your son to seduce and fuck you? I knew that he fantasized you and I saw him once masturbating looking at your photo. He loved you and desired you, however could not express his love to you. You were expecting him to seduce you? Padma, 'you should have sucked your son's cock like this to make him big, I said. 'Why you did not suck him?'