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"Do I have to tell you?"
"Yes, you do. You want to be so goddamned open and honest."
"Okay." She sighed. "That I got through? The golden cocktail."
"You drank pee?"
"Yes. I did."
"Jesus! But you didn't like it?"
"No. Afterwards I was proud I'd been able to do it at all. And to keep it down."
"Okay. Okay. Blech. Well, what else? When he whipped you? You had lines on your belly in a picture."
"No. That wasn't from a real whipping. It was more of a game, with a leather boot lace. It stung and made little welts and I had to count them."
"You liked that?"
"I have to tell you? I know. Okay. It was hot. I knew I'd really get whipped eventually, and that scared me. It scared me and I wanted him to do it. I can't explain it, but it's true. Anyway, like I said, it wasn't real. I saw him flog another girl once. Really hard, and she couldn't stand it. I don't know if she was being punished or it was part of their agreement. I knew he would whip me some time, but no one ever did--except you."
They both paused for air. Then:
"Did you like it when I whipped you?"
"No. You know that. It hurt so much, and you terrified me."
"And yet you feel safe with me." He waved a hand in the air and shook his head. "Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. But answer me this: Does it make you hot to remember it?"
"No. I don't know. A little."
*****
Should the conversation continue? Where could they take it? I'd like to find out what test Alice had failed, what she hadn't gotten through, but her last answer set up a powerful roadblock to the Q-and-A. I can sort of see where his question came from. Her answer? I think she said it impulsively, when I had turned away from the keyboard for a moment. Characters do that sometimes, and stories go off in ways I hadn't intended. Other writers have had similar experiences, so who knows how fictional the characters really are? In this scene, no one said anything for what seemed a long time. They both looked away. Finally, Henry filled the void.
"Yet you have nightmares about it."
"They're not usually about the whipping. Mostly the rape. I've had a lot of fantasies about being raped, even gang raped. But the real one won't let me go. I can't get away from them, the rapists, in my nightmares. I had one nightmare about you chasing me to whip me. It was you and not you. And I couldn't get away from you, either. But it's not the same, awake. Because you're right there when you wake me. And I'm not--not completely--sorry it happened, and...no. I'm sorry. I can't."
"Tell me."
"Don't make me."
"Say it."
"Please, no."
"Tell me. Say what you were going to say."
"Okay. It affects me that it was you. I don't want it to happen again. I don't. Ever. Believe me. But if it's you, it's different. It doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry. Please let me stop."
"Okay. Take a break. I won't push it." And he didn't. "Maybe, though, keep one thing in mind. Maybe, just maybe, it can be easy enough to think about me doing it again because I won't. I don't know if you're safe with me, but you're safe from me. Those motherfucking rapists? Not so much."
Like I've said, Henry can be a pretty smart guy. But Henry! Ask her about the test she couldn't get through. Rats, it's too late. It was Sherrie, with dinner.
End of Part Seven
- COMMENTS
Anonymous26 days agoIt's the writing that I enjoy the topic is really not my cuppa tea! What a strange bunch we are.
Anonymous7 months agoNot bad. Could be alot better. The gaps in character development make it a bit difficult to relate to.
Realistically , someone as old and educated as Alice would not have made her choices. I would understand if she was a bit younger and had nothing going on collegiate and career wise. That isn't the case with Alice though is it?
If Alice was constantly under the inhibition of drugs or if she was blackmailed initially then forced to continue being slut, then perhaps that would be more believable.
The sudden decision for Alice to give up her entire life ; job, house, marriage, all for the sake of a few orgasms isn't remotely digestible mentally.
Perhaps if it was only her marriage, it would be easier to imagine.
But her job, house, and equity. ?? I've never known a woman to choose sex over money.
Sure it's fantasy and that means its more fiction than average fiction,
but the premise of the plot needs reviewing.
Overall, some parts are orginal and the writing isn't terrible.
des9118 months agoThe use of a narrator's voice works well - takes a little getting used to but is effective. The confession is proceeding slowly. We're getting a better view of how Alice "fell" but it could be more focused.
Still enjoying it and wondering how it ends.
