Faultless Pt. 02

"Babe, are you okay?" Amy asked, taking the empty chair from the desk beside me and wheeling over. "We're all worried about you. You've been depressed all week and now Char's told me how distracted you've been this morning. This isn't like you."

Amy took my hand for extra emphasis. Char stood over us, taking on the role of intimidation. If Liv wasn't still getting the presenters ready on the make-up chair, she'd probably be shooting out random guesses until she landed on the truth. I knew my friends enough to know they'd given me space for as long as they were able and now, I needed to talk.

"Okay, let's do lunch and then I'll talk," I conceded with a dramatic sigh. It gave me time to get back to work and sort my shit out.

Mike had already messaged asking to take me to dinner later and I didn't want to finish work late for him. I was never late for him; it was one of those things I'd recognised a while back as a response to what I felt for him. I did not like disappointing him, even though he would never do anything more than joke at my time-keeping.

Over lunch, I told my friends about Mike & I. I replaced the part of the story that involved "dominant spanking session which I'd been guiltily cumming over ever since," with "a kiss" but kept most of the rest of the story the same.

"He brings me such comfort and happiness, I feel like I can be myself with him," I told them earnestly. I needed to justify why I'd broken it off with Benjamin and why Mike was better for me, so I told them in detail about how it felt different with him. How I recognised the changes in myself around him, how being with him made me feel like it was okay to not be perfect and switched on all the time. My therapy sessions over the last few weeks had been worth the money, that was for sure, to help me convince myself to take this risk.

"I know you probably think this has come out of nowhere and I'm crazy, but it hasn't and... I'm in love with him so just, go easy on the ribbing, okay?" I blushed and looked down at my salad.

"Honey, we guessed."

I looked up at Char, but it was Amy that explained. She scrolled through her phone and showed me a group chat between the 3 of them. Liv had started it.

Liv: I've just seen Mike on a dating app. I did the right thing by not swiping right, right?

Char: Ooo this is sneaky. Lil will get so para if she knew you'd made a chat without her x

Amy: You definitely did the right thing, there's something between them...

Char: Agreed. Amy & I both think this - they have crazy good chemistry and she is so different around him!

Liv: Okay I'm going to tell her I came across him but won't say if I swiped or not

Amy: EVIL... I love it!

I looked up at them and saw they were all watching me. I grinned nervously. "Carry on," Liv prompted smugly. I now knew my message to Liv that evening wasn't as subtle as I thought. I kept scrolling.

Liv: Haha I just watched the little speech bubble in our chat, and she was typing & deleting for about 10 minutes before she asked if I swiped! She so has feelings for him!

Char: It's so obvious! I was saying to Thomas the other day that when we met Mike, it felt like he was her boyfriend with how nervous she was before it. They behaved like a couple FFS! Then when we met Benjamin I just felt he's a bit... plain, isn't he? I feel bad, there's no spark between them.

Amy: So how do we make it happen?

Char: We don't. We let her work it out. She's not going to stay with Benjamin when it hits her that Mike is right there. I bet it doesn't last another 3 months with Benjamin...

Liv: I'll take that bet!

I slid the phone back to Amy and looked at them with my mouth agape and then my best impression of an evil stare. "Easiest £10 I ever made," Char added smugly.

_

To my frustration I still finished work later than planned. I was just getting ready when Mike rung the buzzer downstairs. I left the door on the latch and went back to my dresser, applying evening makeup and trying not to be too stressed about it.

"Hey handsome, I'm running massively late," I shouted out when I heard the door close. "I know I know, early is on time and all that," I was flustered and massively annoyed with myself.

"Don't worry about it Lils, we've got time," he assured me as he walked into the apartment. He knew me.

He found where I was moments later and just seeing him in the reflection gave me goosebumps. He looked good. Suited up with the short haircut and stubble that I liked so much. The suit fit him well and even in heels, I wouldn't be taller.

He stood there watching me as I sat in just my underwear. Even me doing that felt like a new step for us. My hair was flowing down my back below the bra strap. I'd taken a bit of time with the curling wand to give it some bounce and I could see he liked it. I liked that it pleased him and I felt my annoyance slipping away because it had been time well spent.

He then glanced over at the lilac dress that was hanging up ready to be put on. I loved wearing it, it was a favourite because it gave me more of a chest than I really had but I was half hoping he wouldn't let me put it on and we'd cancel dinner. Shameless.

"Wow," he breathed eventually. Honestly, I felt myself getting wet from that one word. I felt like a pretty object that was giving him pleasure to look at.

I tried to take the heat away from the room as I went about touching up my makeup. "Flowers, and a fancy dinner? I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I typically fall for guys that take me to sports bars, just so you know."

He grinned. "Next time. I just wanted you to see I can treat you this way too."

My heart-raced at that and I finished applying mascara to my eye. I knew what he was trying to do, I'd experienced it enough times with men before him. He knew that too but was still doing it and I didn't understand why. I wasn't looking for that from him. He was the reason he didn't need to do this with me.

When I finished, I made my way over, a smile on my face. I threw my arms around him and kissed him hard. Showing him, not-so-subtly, that I wasn't holding back with him. My tongue was requesting entry before he could keep up and he let me in. I heard his bag drop but he kept the flowers in his other hand. His free hand gripped the strap of my bra and he pulled it, taking charge of the kiss. My tongue acquiesced and gave him control, my hands moving to his face. We both were getting into it before I pulled away, though his hand didn't leave my back. The possessiveness was sexy. I was close to breathless, and I could have kept going but I had more important things to do.

"Yes," I announced, a grin back on my face.

"And the question was?" Mike asked, not getting it.

I sighed theatrically, trying to lay out another hint that it wasn't what I needed.

"I think if you ask me to be your girlfriend, you'll find it funny to take me somewhere fancy and do it, given my history," I outlined. "But I also think you secretly want to take me somewhere fancy and do it properly. Hence, you're going to ask me to be your girlfriend tonight because you want to show me you're as serious as I am." He rolled his eyes at my knowing look, and I continued satisfied that my instinct was correct, "and I'm going to say 'yes'. I've already given you a speech about exactly how I feel, so ask me now, then we can get it out of the way, and I can start referring to you as my boyfriend."

He laughed and I laughed too, breaking the tension. "You really take the romance out of it, don't you? I was going to make a speech about how I'm completely committed to us becoming a thing and I don't see the point in going through the dating dance, but ah well."

I shrugged, what romance was I taking away from him, really? I felt exactly the same.

He carried on when he realised my shrug was all he was going to get. "Lily Williams, would you do me the most profound honour," Mike's voice sounded shockingly like Benjamin's and I laughed so hard I snorted, "of being not just the person that I lay with, but also the person I share my day with, reflecting on both the good times and the hard. Would you allow me to bestow you the honour of being my girlfriend?"

Once I got over my giggling, I kissed him and took the flowers. "You're an idiot and I accept this sacrifice," I teased.

Mike followed me as I walked to the kitchen. I knew he was checking me out and I smirked without him seeing. It might be argued I didn't need to stretch to grab the vase, but I was proud of my ass, and I was gonna make damn sure Mike lusted after it.

I spun around and caught him flicking his eyes up from my bare legs. I looked at him in horror. "Don't eye-fuck me, Mike, that's not okay."

He held his hands up and I glanced at them. They were big hands, rough ones. They were made to spank or to pin a partner down while he was inside her. Stop it Lils.

"I'm sorry Lily, still trying to get used to you being a sexual being again," he smiled.

I took the vase and the flowers to him. "Two things," I struggled to contain my smile. "I like lilies, un-ironically and I'd like them every week if you want to make me feel special. And you can sort these into the vase so I can judge how good you are at sorting an arrangement."

I kissed him before my grin could break out and handed him the flowers. I felt like I could finally be a bit sassy with someone who could take it. It was exciting to be able to tease him, especially knowing he could put me back in line when I went too far.

"Oh and Mike," I said, heading back to the room and that lilac dress, "I meant it's not okay to eye-fuck me and not do anything about it, just for future reference."

I smirked again and he groaned.

_

Dinner was... different. He took me to a fancy Italian place just a short walk away from where I lived. I'd been to fancier, but I'd not felt as good as I did when walking in with Mike.

We were seated and he didn't pull my chair out for me, which I liked because it was a sign he understood my hints. He didn't need to do those things to impress me because he gave me so much more by not doing it.

We spoke about work after ordering, and I confessed that I'd already told the girls about us as well as what they said. "That's okay," he replied, still blushing, "I blabbed to Jake and Mo within the first hour."

I bit my lip, flustered. "What did you say?" I asked, unashamedly fishing for compliments.

Mike shrugged nonchalantly, playing it cool. He certainly wouldn't have been that way if I hadn't been so 'unromantic' earlier in the evening and stopped him grandly asking me out, which I felt further vindicated about right then. "Oh you know, I just walked in on cloud nine, a shit-eating grin on my face and they asked me what was up," he started, as casually as if he was telling me about the weather. The nonchalant delivery and body language was working for me as I felt my nipples start to strain against my bra. I didn't look down as that would have made it worse.

"Go on," I prompted when he paused to have a drink. "If I have to work this hard to get compliments from you then I can't be bothered," I lied.

Mike laughed and considered me, looking down at my chest subtly. If I'd caught an ex doing that, damn there would be words. "That's a lie," he replied simply. "You're an affirmation girl; looks and words are your drug."

"How do you know that?" I questioned with a tone of surprise.

He leaned forward so we could speak easier. I did too so we were close enough that it felt like our own private world. "Well, when you discover taking on a more dominant role is something you really like and feel comfortable with, a guy like me might start looking at how to operate in that environment." I heard the soldier in him as well as the wallflower - observant and intuitive. "How to best communicate, how to best understand the needs of the person I'm with whether they submit or not, and my own needs." He held eye contact, and I did too for a moment, before the waitress arrived.

We started on the food and we tried a bit of each other's as we often did. I carried on our conversation with more of a whisper so that other tables wouldn't hear. "You're already attuned to my needs," I noted. "That thing that you did to me last week which I won't name in public," I winked, "the way you got those things out of me and then praised me at the end, it was the sexiest thing that I'd ever experienced. So yeah, your research and intuition is very much appreciated over here."

I smiled and pushed the rest of the starter away so that I wouldn't be too full for the main course. I wasn't a big foodie though conversely; I was a feeder. Another thing that would work well for Mike & I. He asked for my plate to stay and then went back to our conversation, his face more serious. "What I did last week, how are you feeling about it now, honestly?"

I'd been expecting that question though it didn't stop me feeling flustered as I answered. "Honestly? I said some really shit things and I'm more sorry than you know about that," Mike took my hand and shook his head as though to say don't worry about it. I smiled and thanked him. "But I was really freaking out, my head was a mess. Just looking at the act itself, I mean on the one hand, it was a crazy, reckless thing to do with someone because it was so exposing for me and in that way, my worst nightmare. But on the other hand, it was the hottest sexual thing that had ever happened to me and I was unbelievably," I dropped my voice even further, "turned on. I still am whenever I think about it, including now."

We both shared a look of lust that I let build before I stopped it by continuing my answer. "The real problem was that it was with you. It could only ever have been with you, truth be told, but I was so devastated that I'd let myself go like that, before I'd decided if I could get myself into a place to try and be with you. So I was angry, annoyed, self-loathing and needing to push you away. Which worked well until I was on my own all weekend and I had no choice but to think about it. Because you're all I think about when I can get my brain to stop, frankly."

Our main course arrived too soon and while it looked great, it looked too big. One of the perks of the fancier restaurants was undoubtedly smaller portions. Mike tucked in without delay and I smiled watching him.

"That weekend I'm just thinking that was amazing but I'm terrified of what he thinks of me. What if he tells people? What if he decides that he doesn't want us to go any further and then we'll always have this thing that happened between us? He'll know what I like and what I'll need but won't give me it. But he's the only one that can because I'll never trust anyone else to."

He interrupted me by gently squeezing my hand before I could spiral any further. "What changed?" He asked simply, changing the direction of my recount so that I could be more positive with it.

"You," I replied simply. "I thought the worst-case scenario would be that you didn't feel the same, but you'd never hurt me for it. You always look after me and I felt sure you'd do so then too. I also had moments of confidence, normally when I was thinking about what happened during my erm, private moments, where I thought that I could do it."

"Do what?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Seduce you," I blushed. "I felt sure that over time if you knew I wanted you and my feelings weren't going to change, you'd slowly come round. I was ready to wait for that."

"Wait," Mike started, putting his cutlery down and focusing on me. "Walking out of the door on Wednesday wasn't a play? You were going to walk out?"

"Yeah," I chuckled at his surprise. "In my mind, I had no idea where your head was. It took me days after what happened to get to the point where I was going to pursue us and everything that goes with it, but I had feelings for you for a long time, whereas you weren't coming from that place. So, I was going to give you time because I was all-in by then."

Mike chuckled now. "You're right, it could have taken me many, many months to decide that I wanted to pursue a relationship with the best person in my life. The woman that makes me laugh like no other, who makes me happier than anyone ever has, who feels as comfortable around me as I do around her. She trusts me, she accepts me and my numerous flaws,"

"You do have a few," I teased, blushing like mad at his words.

"Who is absolutely the most gorgeous woman I've ever been around, who's both captivating and grounded,"

"Thanks to you," I cut-in again.

"With eyes that are soul-reading and an appearance that defies genetic likelihood," he paused, looking over at me from my tanned arms, long hair and smile, which was broad right then at his weirdly-geeky complimenting. "I can see how an idiot like me was missing what was right in front of me. That's what I told Mo and Jake."

I just sat looking at him for the longest time, blushing so much that I felt like I was going to re-heat my cooling food. "I'm speechless," I replied at last. "I like them both for you, they're good to get some of your guy-energy out," I quipped. I'd met them a couple of times and enjoyed being around them too.

Mike laughed, "You are not getting out of watching Chelsea with me, you're my lucky charm."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I replied at once, meaning it. Watching football with Mike was one of my favourite things.

We finished our meal, Mike having most of what I couldn't eat and then he paid and took us for a longer stroll around the river before heading home. We walked hand in hand in public for the first time and it felt so normal to do so. It was almost a natural escalation of the comfort & familiarity we had when we walked around as friends. I loved how his hand felt around mine - gentle but strong. It was warm enough with my jacket and the frequent breaks where I could steal body heat from him as we stopped along the path to look out at the skyline, that our detour continued for longer than it needed to. We were in no rush though, even if I was quite keen for more sex when we got home. I kept that to myself but didn't let him doubt it with my kisses.

During one such pause as we faced the water and surveyed Tower Bridge, he wrapped his arms around me softly from behind and kissed the top of my head. I breathed through the feeling of love that was between us until I couldn't help wanting more. I subtly grinded my bum into him, feeling him semi-hard. He didn't respond nor grind back, he just let me explore my comfort levels. He would have known that doing that in public wasn't a usual act for me.

"Careful," he warned, when my hand had a mind of its own and subtly reached behind to squeeze him.

I blushed, withdrawing my hand. "Sorry," I whispered awkwardly.

"Don't be," he soothed. "I just meant if you carry on then it's going to be pretty obvious that I'm hard."

"Good point," I replied, turning around to face him and indicating back towards the path, relieved he didn't think any less of me. He nodded and I took his hand again as we slowly walked towards the next bridge, passing a scattering of couples doing the same in the opposite direction. "Speaking of things that are obvious," I said, "You gave me three options last night. That my submission to you is something we can accept now and explore, something we build up to over time or something that doesn't happen at all."

Mike squeezed my hand reassuringly. "I recall, did you want to discuss those further?"

I nodded. "That last option isn't really an option. The way I am and what I feel with you is a fundamental aspect of what I feel for you so that would make no sense."