All Comments on 'February Sucks - Momma Bear's Cubs'

In the end, Jim agreed to be a cuck

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fixed it for you

Interesting take on the story. A few points you didn't explore: If Mark's Mom started straightening him out for what he did with Jim's wife, what about all the other marriages he damaged or killed in the past? I would be Mama would have him make amends. Also, what about the other players' mothers? Seems like multiple players needed attitude adjustments. Mama also needs to come to dinner and meet all of Jim and Linda's friends and do a attitude check with them - I can see Dee receiving at least one (if not several) full on bitch slaps from Mama, and being publicly called a failed wife and cheating slut, and the whole group getting a public dressing down in morals. Maybe Mama could do that at their church and embarrass everyone publicly.

Lastly, Linda's parent's should be all over her - for a very long time, if not the rest of their lives. I disagree with Jim taking Linda back. The trust and respect in that relationship are gone, and the love is seriously damaged. The kids will KNOW that something happened and their happy family is no more. Is it fair to the kids, as well as to Jim himself to stay with Linda under those circumstances? That doesn't even touch on STD testing, serious counseling and a post-nuptial agreement that would severely punish a cheater - i.e only the clothes on their back, loss of all marital assets and of course loss of custody. Maybe Linda would at least attempt suicide, if not succeed.

Now this may be the most unique take I've seen. Funny as well.

I can relate to the dilemma at the end. Specially with all the horror stories of abuse of children you read about.

Nope, too silly and no way would I willingly let the bitch back into the house. However, this rendition is still much better than Anderson's: her original story sucked, like all simpleminded cuck stories do.

I loved this bit of nonsense. Would any of this possibly happen? I really don't think so but it made me chuckle.

*****That was a fun read. Thanks for sharing. I remember reading about a pro basketball player who got ejected from a game and refuse to leave the basketball court forgetting his mon was in the stands. When his mon stood up and told him to get his butt off the court he did all 6'8 of him.

Love it. Funny as all get out.

Needed to extend the Linda pain attempting to return to the house. She need to show true remorse.

Or Jim should start dating until she does.

I still think that he should kick her to the curb

Sorry. But why was this necessary?

A grand premise and a nice twist. The open end with regard to Linda.... yeah she needs to eat humble pie and i cant see that lasting.

Is she guilty for being caught out or actually remorseful?

Yes, Jim, don't be so hard on your wife. It's not like she's a grown ass woman who's fully capable of making her own decisions and in fact made an entire series of conscious decisions that put her where she is now.

Oh, wait...

Good 1st story, it could have been expanded a bit

Nice story. Short, but I think you covered your main theme very well.

We must concude these are the same mothers who raised the two wannabe lovers. If neither managed to imprint a decent moral code on their progeny while raising them, what makes anyone think they would be successful in doing so now? Whenever I hear, "He/She was raised better than that;" I think, "No, clearly they were not."

A San Miguel beer for each mommy bears.

That was a fun read.

if only majority of moms of cheating spouse would act like them and yes slap some sense into the cheater there could have some nice ending on cheating stories.

So Jim decides to stay for the kids. May he have the resolve to contain his anger or just forgive her for his mental stability

best response to this story. just what the man/boy needed, maybe he should of been taught respect for people when he was a kid. she's just a cheater

Good first story!

4

Well that was an interesting take on the story!

Great spin on an old tale. I always thought that Lavalliere should be shot and/or mutilated (as several authors have done) but having his mom deal with him like a child was strangely satisfying. I loved it. 5 stars.

When she meets another slick dude, she'll let her panties fall off. She's gotta buy some that are the right size so they don't. Once she's a whore she'll very likely do it again...

I liked this story very humorous

Welcome aboard. It is always good to see a new writer in the fold. I am afraid I couldn't give this effort a very good rating. But, in the spirit of constructiveness, I will explain why. Mainly it comes down to failure to proof read your own words. A few word gaffs, where the new word is still a legal word, are the tip off that you rely only on computer spell checking instead of slow reading your own words. And think thru what you wrote...e.g. February in NOT 5 months after November. I do hope you hang in there.

Completely different twist ,loved it

Well done as a retired football player who is terrified of the potential rage of his 95 year old mother this is actually so plausible! I know the trolls will try to make fun of your theme but always remember no matter how big and tough you are, "The hand that rocked YOUR cradle RULES YOUR World!".

Amusing

Meh. Okay for a first story. Thankfully it wasn't a continuation of the original, which in spite of all the fawning reviews, wasn't very good at all. I gave it a 2 for having the balls to publish something, beyond mentioning the mom's it had no originality whatsoever. Better luck on the next one.

That was ... unexpected! Short but to the point. I like it!

These add-ons are not what you should be trying to cut your teeth on, my suggestion is to any want to be writers is try come up with a totally new story.

Now to improve your writing, if you cannot get an editor at least read the story out loud to your self and just by the way spell check cannot fix bad grammar and he vs her type problems. Try Grammarly or a similar tool. BUT what ever you do not give up practice makes (almost) perfect.

Lol, nobody fights their momma bear. Nice humor.

Your contribution is a nice, refreshing, twist the the origianl and all of the other variants. It is well written and it made me laugh. I can’t decide if it is more or less improbable than some of the others, but it is a good tale for your first submission. I encourage you to write some originals.

Fun.

I can believe this for Marc, but Linda too? Lightning twice doesn’t work as well as once

Hilarious, seriously stupid, but Hilarious.

Just for that alone, a different take, 4/5

Not another Cuck writer!! The upside with this story is that is extremely well written, however brief in it’s entirety. The issue is this is just another cookie cutter copycat character so very predictable. Can’t anyone write about men who can keep their balls attached for more than 750 words? Keep writing buddy 👍

Good first story, 4 *. I liked it. A new twist to an oft suplemented story. More please.

Needed more but ok for first effort. Try talking to a few other writers,i am sure they will advise you.

Interesting and humorous take. I've heard Mrs. Washington used to put Denzel in his place after stupid stuff.

I liked it. A good variation on this story.

It's a good first story but seeing as there's no resolution it's not a great srory

Well that was different!

But very amusing. Well done

Very creative. Great start.

Unique and unusual perspective. Good plot twist, original.

She didn't cheat but she was hit with the Martian Slut Ray. Counseling.

Your story, your universe, your rules.

I gave you a generous 4 for a unique idea and to encourage a new writer, but...

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It's too late now, but for a new writer to tackle a subject that many are sick of started you off on the wrong foot.

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I do think you had a clever idea, it maybe could have been developed more, and while the players certainly would have respected her, I don't see them fearing her!

No, not without the most severely limiting one sided post nup ever written. She gutted him and received no punishment for it. Story at the least needed a "years later" aftermath.

As you are a first time writer I will give you 1star for a really good plot change. The original story was bad and the first attempt to help it was acceptable the next ten also but after that why bother? You should have taken your momma story to a different set of characters and set it in April to avoid the backlash against these sequels.

Meh...

Not one of the better versions, but not the worst I've read.

GA's story deserved better...

Pathetic

Liked it, a nice twist

Well, that's thinking outside the box. Inventive and hilarious. Well done. Strong first story. Some will mark you down for the reconciliation, but you did talk about leaving her after the kids grow up. I look forward to your next.

A greatc creative twist off of the original. It left me very curious about life in the "loving" household afterwards.

Interesting take on the GS story. Congratulations and continue writing. I liked it and would look forward to a part 2.

Nice, fresh take. Keep'em coming.

Couple proofreading slips but nothing of consequence.

Well done, thanks for sharing.

Almost a flash story. I liked the momma bears.

Would have liked to heard more about how the mumma beat those perverts but still funny af

good first attempt at a great story. Beware the flood of anon critics. no nitpicking here

As far as I'm concerned the maximum score that any story ending with Jim reconciling with Linda can get is 2 stars, which is what I gave this story.

Great story, but could have used a little more fleshing out. It seemed rushed.

A very different POV, but good.

In the end, Jim could have made Linda stay with her parents, having no contact with her children, for mare than a week. Give her time to realize the depth of damage she caused. Then let her return and spend at least a month on the couch.

Hilarious, and the funniest and best one by far.

Decent first effort. Nice twist on the usual February Sucks take off.

That has to the funniest February story yet. Laughing my ass all day. 5 × 1000

Unique and creative. Thanks. Watch for loose ends in your future stories. This one had the two extra players apparently involved but no follow up about Linda or Marc's mother's reactions to anticipated gangbang as this would not have been just an affair. So you left that plot thread open.

A little too short, a little too 'I WISH life was still like that', a little too shy of Linda's psyche, but I liked it. Quite good, and keep writing.

5***** because I love a good mamma bear story! Some kids never grow up and they just need mamma to set them straight. Pity, but great to have them when you need them. Thanks for sharing that.

Just goes to show that a great imagination can always find a way to come up with yet another variation of any story!

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Frankly….this was quite clever. Obviously, like most variations it required introducing info that was never even hinted at in tne original GA tale — in this case, the fact that Jim had met and saved the life of Asshole’s Mom previously. So when Linda sneaks off for her celebrity fuck fest, this version of Jim activates the “Momma Bear”network immediately, and somehow manages to actually collect Momma V at once and gets to her son’s house before the orgy started. He also gets his own MIL prepped to take in tne Slut.

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So OK….given this set of circumstances….would/should Jim take the Slut back? The author has him take her back “for the kids”, but leaves it open that Jim is just biding his time. Seems reasonable 😎

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4 **** to a first time contributor who managed to find yet another way to try to spin GA’s impossible setup of a supposedly loving wife and mother who PUBLICLY leaves a romantic dinner with her husband to fuck a celebrity.

Hehehe! That was a fun take.

Any version that has "Jim" staying is a fucking -100 stars. The cutsey part of the story doesn't matter.

Far fetched not bad but i think there are at least 2 dozen sequels now. Four stars

Definitely a different take on the story. Pretty unique.

I'd have liked more explanation as to how he contacted Edna to get her to Marc's house and what the outcome was after he took her back in and after the kids were off to college.

Other than that, a good start.

You know for the amount of these stories that have been written. I can say this has to be one of the most funny and entertaining story of the series. And to be a newbie and even write a story in the correct category you should be proud. Best thing is you wrote a story that even though it wasn’t a BTB story it was a story that was close to being a BTB story. And to me you are going to go far on this site and even in this category. Put it this way as long as you don’t write any cuckold/swinging/sharing loving stories you are going to be a hit ok . So please get writing more stories ok

Short and sweet. Thanks very much.

That was fun. Thank you

Gotta laugh! That’s a unique twist! All of these versions are kinda like a wreck on the interstate. You know you shouldn’t look, but just can’t help it…

Enjoyed your story.

Nice twist!

Congratulations! As a first timer you have put a completely new spin on a well-done story AND managed to keep me reading. Not Bad!

You asked for constructive comments, and since I often offer them—here goes:

Actually your writing craft seems pretty darn good to an old Redneck like me. I did think I saw one place where you used quick when I think the proper word would be quickly, but I know that’s nit-picky an heck.

If you’re going to continue writing, I’d suggest you shoot for a bit longer stories because many of us like background and why the characters acted as they did. WARNING! You can take this too far and have the reader start skimming rather than reading—not a good move.

Thanks for the free read—4 stars in light of it being your first try. CD

Having grown up with neighbors who always watched out for others, your version was a good read.

The matriarch's of families always kept the extend families in line.

Keep writing.

Decent first effort. Nice twist on the usual February Sucks take off.

Different and totally unbelievable. I score your different approach to over done subject.

Not bad…and it didnt take twenty pages to get to the ending. You’ve got a future here

being first it is good.

try to write more.

That was a good twist to the original story. Well done!

Nice fresh take on a well used plot. Keep them coming. Pace was good and no distracting errors. Writing style also good. Looking forward to the next, and yes, will provide constructive criticism as needed.

Write more stories! You have a unique perspective worth sharing

IMHO Flow was a little too fast for me. The ending was open-ended. I know your goal was to make it humorous, but I would have liked it if you took a more emotional tone like emotional dialogue two days later, and what was his decision on divorce in 10 years

Grammar very good

Flow average

Humor very good

Story average

First time story excellent

I hope there is a part 2 for this. No where enough ending for such a great first and unfinished story.

Fantastic job,please don't stop.

Another shitty February story. Give it a fucking rest. 1*

No idea why people call GA's infamous work a 'classic'. It's the literary equivalent of raw sewager, so bad that countless people tried to fix it, both more often than not the original was so bad their attempts only made it worse. This is one such example.

Surprising and, well done☺️

Nice take on the GA story.

That was pretty funny

Good story, well done. If I would do anything I would take the same story, same style, same good grammar and draw it out more. Develop Edna and her relationship with Jim a little more. I like your writing, can’t wait to read more, even to do a more expansive Momma Bear.

Sorry you are just aother creap. For fuck sack leave the story alone. FEBRUARY SUCKS. And try if you can write a good one yourself.

A somewhat brief throwout of events, but thank goodness it was short and to the point.

Now, well yes, never underestimate a momma bear when you rub her up wrong. They can make you stand ten feet tall one moment, and then let you cry like a whipped buck when you foul up(deserve it). Amen.

Good, welcome to Lit, will be looking out for your submissions. Score high to the right.

In some ways this was the most entertaining of all the sequels. Most of the jocks are just overgrown, spoiled kids. Mom always rules the roost and this was a fun read.

I enjoyed your story line. I thought it was a good variation. However, just when you were getting to the meat and potatoes of the story, you shut it down. I would have like to seen a longer explanation of what was to follow. The incorporation of a new character as "Mark's" mother was rather good. You have left some room for more follow up.

I appreciate the effort and Thanks for writing.

Not bad, different angle which was good. Keep up the good work.

Now that was a great take!!!!