Finding My Sexual Rebirth

I sat down and a few minutes later Angela returned "Here is parsnip and ginger soup together with a selection of breads and crackers. There is water in the jug and if you would like some juice there is fresh mango for you. There is also a selection of fruits for you to try. I hope you enjoy the meal, please excuse me as I need to go and prepare for tomorrow so I shall see you at breakfast."

"Thank you very much, see you in the morning." I ate my snack which was very nice, and I suspect far better for me than what I had recently been eating. When I finished, I went into the lounge, selected a folder that was on the table and sat down in an armchair. The folder was more information about the Retreat, its history and the services it provided. There was also a section about the Indian dosha's, that are called Vatta, Pitta and Kapha. It said that most people are a combination of types. It also described how Ayurvedic doctors evaluated their patients using techniques such as observation, pulse diagnosis and interview. Using these methods, they determine any imbalances that are present in the body and make recommendations for change according to each individual dosha. In addition, dietary and herbal recommendations often play a large part of treatments suggested which include massage and possibly yoga, meditation and other therapies. Having read this I realised why I was meeting the doctor in the morning, and it gave me some idea what to expect. Having read through the folder I decided to go to my room as I was beginning to feel tired after the journey, swim and sauna. When I got to the room I undressed for bed and then noticed a card on the bedside table which reminded me of the doctor appointment at 09.00 which was in the office just next to the four treatment rooms, and it said I should wear just my robe. I got into bed and fell asleep almost at once.

I awoke to my alarm at 07.00 and got dressed and went down to breakfast. A place was laid for me where I sat down after taking a glass of juice from the side cupboard. As soon as I sat Angela appeared and explained that there was a choice of cereal and toast with various jams and honeys. I selected a mixed cereal and toast with a honey that she recommended together with a green tea that she also suggested. It was all delivered to my table, and I ate it even though much of it was new to me but even, so I enjoyed it. After finishing my breakfast, I returned to my room, checked my e mails and the day's news and then undressed and put on my robe to go to the doctor. A few minutes later I was knocking on the door and was invited in to find to my utter surprise Angela sitting behind the desk. She stood up and greeted me "Hello James, I am Doctor Angela Moosman please take a seat."

"Thank you I am very surprised to see that you are a doctor, are you doing everything here?"

"Yes, this week I am, that is everything except the cooking, I have a chef who does that. As I explained I am using this week as a trial run so I am doing everything so that I can ensure that when the staff come in next week for training everything is covered. I hope you don't mind and are happy to continue with the week."

"Yes, I am happy to, you did tell me it was a trial week, I am just surprised that you are the doctor."

As I said this Angela picked up her nameplate to show me "I am Dr. Angela Moosman and I have a bachelor's degree in Indian Medicine from the Medical University of India. In addition, I am fully trained in all aspects of Indian Massage and Dietary. So, I shall be able to work with you this week in all aspects of your Treatment plan. Notwithstanding that I am the doctor and will be your massage therapist please feel free to call me Angela."

"Well, I am looking forward to it, I hope you are able to help me get my life back on course."

"I certainly aim to and to start I would like to undertake an examination so please will you stick out your tongue."

Whilst this seemed an odd request I did it and Angela took a long hard look at it. "Now I should like to take your pulse so please hold out your left wrist." I did this and Angela took hold of it saying, "I am using three fingers to assess the state of your blood pressure and many other aspects of your body so please try not to move too much." She held my wrist for about thirty seconds and then released it and said "Now please look straight ahead so that I can assess your eyes. Thank you, you can now relax." Angela then made a few notes on her computer and then said, "Please get onto the scale so that I can check your weight, if you do not mind, please take off your robe so we can get an accurate measure." I was a bit surprised being told to take off my robe, but I stood up removed it and got onto the scale naked and Angela recorded my weight stating that it was 80.5 kgs.

"Thanks James, you can put your robe back on. I read from the questionnaire about the last six months following the death of Jennifer for which I am very sorry. You say that you have not eaten properly, worked long hours, drank too much alcohol and not slept well. All of that is reflected in the state of your tongue, skin, pulse and eyes. They all show that your body is not well, in fact if you carry on like you have you could have some significant medical issues. If you do not mind, I should like to check out your main body organs to see how bad things are after I have gone through some other aspects of the questionnaire you completed. Is that ok?"

"Yes, that will be ok."

"How have you found your ability to concentrate over the last six months, has it deteriorated?"

"Yes, it has, I used to be able to concentrate closely for quite long periods but now I have difficulty to do so, particularly on complex issues and that makes me angry and frustrated."

"That was going to be my next question. How frustrated do you get and about what?"

"Very frustrated particularly with some people who do not understand how I feel, and I find I am losing my temper more and more, sometimes over very little and that makes me even more angry."

"How is your memory, particularly short term, do you find you are forgetting things?"

"It's not been too bad, but I have found lately that I am becoming a little more forgetful and that also makes me angry because all of those things are not me, they only started to manifest after Jennifer's death."

"Ah, I thought that would be the case. Those issues are typical of the state you are in and to get back to any normality you must change all the recent habits that you have gotten into. I can help you to do that starting this week, but you need to recognise the problems and take positive steps to change back to the old you for the future. There is one more question I have and that is how is your libido and sex life. Did you have a good and active sex life with Jennifer, and have you had sexual intercourse within the last six months?"

"Well, our sex life was great, we loved each other deeply and both enjoyed each other's body and sex. We were quite open minded trying all sorts of positions and each of us lead the action at different times. Now however it is non-existent, and I guess my libido must be very low, I seem to have no sex drive at all."

"Once again, I am not surprised as all the excesses of the last six months will dampen it. Do you masturbate? I ask this as it is important for men to ejaculate often and most men, particularly as they age, do not do so enough."

"I have only masturbated a few times in the last six months and not recently. I have not had the urge to do so."

"OK I am not surprised as it can become a vicious circle, no urge, no action. Please would you get up onto the couch and lay on your front, I should like to check a few other things out."

So, I got onto the couch on my stomach and then Angela came over to me. "Please will you undo your robe so I can get to your back." So, I undid the robe, and she pulled it loose and from my shoulders pulling it down to my buttocks. "I am just going to check your liver and kidneys, what colour is your pee when you urinate?" As she said this she pressed lightly on my kidneys.

"It is normally an orange sort of colour sometimes dark."

"I thought that would be the case as your kidneys are swollen and it is clear you are not getting sufficient hydration. I'm now going to check your liver as I suspect that it will also be swollen. Sure, enough it is as I suspected that it is not functioning properly which I saw from your eyes which are slightly yellow. Now I should also like to test your lungs so please sit up and face me."

I swivelled around pulling my robe across my lap and faced her. She checked my lungs with a stethoscope and by tapping them and said that they were ok. "Now, if you are happy for me to do it, I suggest I check out your genitals and prostrate, but I shall understand if you do not want me to."

That came as a surprise, but I said "Yes, that is OK, I am here for your help to a new beginning, so carry on."

"Please lie on your back and I shall remove the robe," and as I laid down, so Angela removed my robe. Firstly, she checked across my belly pressing as she went and said "Well your bladder appears to be OK although the area across your pubic bone is slightly swollen. I am now going to check your groin for any problems and then your testicles and penis." With that she gently pressed into my groin on either side of my penis. As she did this so my penis began to move and swell, and I could feel it getting hard and it began to get erect. "Don't worry about this, it is a natural bodily reaction, and I am quite used to it happening." Angela then took each testicle in her hands and rolled them. Once again, she said, "That's good there are no signs of hernia, but your testicles do feel gritty, I shall now check your penis," and she took it in her hand and pulled back the foreskin and checked the pee hole. When she did this my penis became rock hard and fully erect and I reacted by raising my hips, but she just carried on. She checked out the head of my penis and then felt its entire length including right down to the root and across my perineum. "It was good to see that you have a strong erection; there doesn't appear to be any major problems there, although it also feels a little gritty in places, I shall just check your prostate now, so please lie on your side facing away from me. This will not hurt if you relax. I shall use some lubricant so it will initially feel cold."

I could hear her putting on a pair of surgical gloves and then I felt her lubricated finger press into my anus as she said, "Relax and breathe out as you feel my finger going in then I shall run it over your prostate." As I did so her finger went all the way in, and I could feel it inside me, and my penis got even harder. She moved her finger around and then it stroked my prostate three times, and she removed it and wiped the lubricant from my anus. "There that wasn't too bad was it and I am pleased to say that it feels normal. There can often be issues with the prostate with the regime that you have been living under, so it was good to check it out. OK I have finished now so please get up, put your robe back on and take a seat whilst I wash my hands." I got up from the couch and my penis stood proudly out in front of me and it was twitching so I put on the robe as quickly as I could. I then went to sit on the chair.

Angela sat down and started to put some further notes into her computer speaking as she did, "OK, so your recent lifestyle has been detrimental to your health, nothing serious yet but it is good that you decided to do something about it. The alcohol and general diet have affected your kidneys and liver and that, in turn, will be leading to other issues for your body. These will also have affected your libido and caused your testicles to tighten and some sedimentary deposits to build up as has also happened with your penis. Your prostate appears to be OK, but your perineum has also been affected with sediment. None of that is serious at this stage and I shall be able to help you with a series of massage, exercise and dietary guidance all linked to your dosha which is Pitta/Vatta. You will have a series of detoxing drinks at breakfast and a low gluten and calorie diet which will help with your digestion. I shall draw up a massage plan for the week, would you like me to include work for your genitals and sex drive with that?"

"What will that mean if you do?"

"Well, I can free up your testicles and remove the sedimentary deposits in them, your penis and perineum with massage with herbal oils. I can also align the other massage work with those issues to assist your kidneys and liver and that will also help your general medical condition."

"I have never experienced anything like that before and I am not sure how I will react, am I likely to get erections and will I ejaculate?"

"The answer to both questions is probably yes but please do not be concerned as it is a natural bodily reaction which I am used to. When I was in India after qualifying, I worked in a clinic that specialised in working with men and women who had libido and sexual issues so I know I shall be able to help you."

"OK, given your experience then please do all you can to help me."

"Good, one other thing, I see you have quite a lot of pubic hair in and around your groin, it will make things much easier and better for the treatments if this is removed as it gives better access and means the oils are better absorbed into the skin. Do you mind if I remove it, I have done this many times for other people in the past?"

This came as a surprise, but once I considered it, I could see the sense, so I agreed. Angela then said "Right, meet me in treatment room 1 at 11.00 so we can do that and then we shall start the treatment plan this afternoon with an Udvartana, which is a firm massage that will stimulate your circulation, followed by a Svedana which is a herbalized steam treatment to complement the massage. As we go through the week, I shall review this plan and may amend it depending on the progress you make. Do you have any questions?"

"Not at the moment but I am sure some will come up as we go through the week?"

"OK I shall see you later and let you have a printed plan for the week when we meet this afternoon. I shall review the plan in a couple of days to see how it is working and may modify it if necessary."

I walked back to my room wondering what I had let myself in for and how I was going to react when I got an erection or came, I would soon find out. When I got in the room, I took off my robe and lay on the bed. My penis was flaccid, but I could feel it growing as I contemplated what was to happen next. How was she going to remove the hair and would it hurt, time would tell.

I reported at exactly 11.00 and Angela was waiting for me. I could see that she had a tray with lots of things on it including what appeared to be a hair trimmer.

"Hi, please take off your robe and lay on the couch on your back. Firstly, I am going to trim your hair as it is too long to remove as it is. Then I shall use a sugar/wax product to remove the hair. I shall do your belly first then your penis and testicles and then your perineum. Then I shall have you turn over to do your buttocks and crack. It will hurt a little, but the pain soon dissipates, and I shall finish everything off with a soothing herbal oil which will prevent soreness and irritation. So, if you are ready, please lay back and I shall start."

I took off my robe and got onto the couch led on my back and was immediately aware just how exposed I was. Angela picked up the hair trimmer and began just below my navel moving from side to side across my belly. As she did this, I could feel the vibration of the trimmer and slowly my penis began to react. As she moved towards my penis, so it grew more erect until it was standing upright. After reaching my penis she opened my legs and then did the hair at the top of my thighs. She then asked me to bend my left leg out and flatten it onto the couch which gave her access to that side of my pelvis so she could trim the hair there. She repeated this with my right leg and, after finishing, admired her work and removed the excess trimmed hair. To do this she held my erect penis and moved it around so she could get to all areas. "There I can now get access to the trimmed hair, and I shall use this sugar/wax to remove the remaining hair. I shall need to stretch the skin and hold your penis out of the way so please tell me if that causes any issues."

Angela started to sugar/wax the area below my navel and then moved slowly towards my penis. She spread the sugar/wax across my skin pressing it down so that it caught the short hairs and then she ripped it off. This stung and the affected area heated up so once she had ripped it away, she placed her hand across the area, and this took away the painful stinging. Slowly my pubic hair was disappearing, and my smooth, naked skin was revealed. When she reached my pubic bone area she said, "OK I am now going to do your penis, which means I shall have to hold on to it and move it around, if you get too aroused, please say and we can take a break."

"I shall don't worry," already being aware that my penis was leaking, and I could see the precum running down the shaft.

Angela grasped my penis in her left hand and spread the sugar/wax down its length and then ripped. As the skin was taught because the penis was erect it did not sting as much, and her tight grasp soon dissipated that stinging. This process was repeated four times around the girth and length of my penis, and I could feel and see more precum appearing. After she had finished the last rip Angela said, "There that was not so bad" and she took hold of the head of my penis and squeezed and as she did this the erection began to fade but more precum leaked out. She then said "I am now going to do your testicles and perineum so will need to move things around again. I shall need to pull the skin taught around each testicle to reduce the sting and I shall try not to cause any pain, but if it is painful say right away."

Angela then pulled the skin-tight around my left testicle and applied the sugar/wax before ripping it off. It did hurt a little more here, so I told her, but she carried on and, fortunately it was not too bad. Once she had finished both testicles and the perineum, she told me to turn over and kneel up so that she could do my buttocks and crack. I did this and became very aware of how exposed I was and could feel the cooler air against my anus. Angela spread the sugar/wax down the length of my crack on each side of my anus and then ripped, but this did not sting as much. She then did each buttock, and this also did not sting. Once she was finished, she said "Please stay in this position whilst I apply the soothing herbalized oil and when I have done that please turn onto your back again and I shall apply it to your front." As she said this, she spread the oil all down my crack and across my buttocks and massaged it into my skin until it was all absorbed. This brought a huge relief to my skin which cooled down a lot. As instructed, I turned over onto my back and lay down. By this time my penis was semi erect, and I could feel it getting harder in anticipation of the oil being applied. I could also see that it was leaking again. Angela applied the oil to my belly first and massaged it in from my navel to my pubic bone. As with my buttocks this induced a very cooling and relaxing effect. She then poured some oil into the palm of her right hand and massaged it all over my testicles and perineum which had a magical cooling effect and removed any stinging that was left. Finally, she poured oil into her right palm again and, after rubbing her hands together took hold of my penis in both hands and massaged the oil up and down and all around my penis including the glans. As she did this my penis started to pulse and this grew stronger as she slipped her hands over my glans, and I could feel myself getting close to an orgasm. I said, "Angela please stop, or I shall come," and she did slow down and then released my penis which continued to pulse for a few minutes and then gently shrank back to a flaccid state.