Finding Myself Pt. 01

"Come on," shouted Josh, "all ready."

I strolled to the bedroom door, relaxed and comfortable with my nudity, and entered.

At first, I noticed nothing. Josh sat on the bed, his face split with a Cheshire Cat grin, as I moved toward him. It was only as I looked around that I spotted what he had been preparing.

In two corners of the room were video cameras, mounted on tripods, ready to record whatever we were going to get up to. He had brought all of our sex toys, and my clothing into the room as well. It seemed like we were about to make a porno.

"What d'you think?" He enthused. "We can make a couple of movies" (a couple?) "and I'll edit the stuff from both cameras together."

I loved the idea. I had enjoyed being a porn model, now I was going to be a porn actor. I had watched plenty of porn, and always enjoyed it - perhaps even fantasised about being a porn star - and now my moment had arrived. I was so turned on by the scenario that I'm sure my pussy would have dripped if my legs hadn't been together.

I nodded and smirked. I had tried to give a sexy smile, but it came out wrong - I suspect my libido had taken control.

"Come and lie on the bed. I want to check the angles," Josh told me.

I did as directed while he looked through each camera, then popped to our shopping bags. He emerged with the two sets of handcuffs and the rope. I'm certain my pupils contracted, but my pussy tingled.

He attached each wrist to the bedpost, then used the rope to tie my ankles, legs wide apart. I was totally at his mercy, and unable to raise objections (even if I wanted to) when he tied a length of fabric around my head, covering my eyes.

I could see nothing, and when he said: "I'll be back in a minute," I had to trust him. For all I knew, he could have gone for a walk, popped out to invite the neighbours round, or just decided to watch TV for a couple of hours - though I suspected he wouldn't.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and I heard movement around the room - clicks, electrical whirrs and shuffling. Then the sharp click of a cigarette lighter, followed by several loud taps and chinks as something dropped against a ceramic surface. I was utterly confused.

Suddenly his voice whispered right next to my ear. I jumped, as I had no idea he was so close.

"Right. First, I'm going to tease you. Do things I hope you'll like. Then I'm going to turn you over and spank you. Then I'm going to fuck you and cum on your face."

My fists clenched, and every muscle in my body tightened. I loved hearing him talk like this. It was also the first time I had thought of our love-making as 'fucking', although that is precisely what it was. I decided there was a difference. The tender, passionate times were love-making - but the open, kinky, experiments were fucking. Both were good. Right now, I was so horny, I wanted to fuck.

I felt a liquid spill on my body - slimy and warming - like oil. Then hands began to rub my shoulders, my arms, legs and stomach, working the liquid into my skin. It smelt heavenly, and I guessed it was some kind of massage oil, warming my skin where it touched.

After focusing on every non-sexual part of my body, especially my muscles, and rendering me totally relaxed, Josh moved to my breasts, the oil sinking in on the soft mounds, and suddenly making me gasp as my nipples heated under his touch and the oil. I moaned gently, finding it intensely erotic, as he rolled my nipples in his fingers, forcing the oil deep into the solid points, softening the skin, perhaps, but not the rock-hard structure beneath.

He worked down, and I realised he planned to use the warming oil on my very sensitive sex. I knew that the warming effect would be redoubled, and prepared myself to feel that warmth inside me.

As he touched my clitoris, I sighed deeply, lifting my thighs, the gentle warming becoming an intense heat, which I feared might not be good for the invaluable little button. Regardless, the new sensation was incredible, and as his fingers slipped inside and heat consumed me, I continued to moan and sigh with abandoned wantonness. I wanted to be the ultimate slut.

His hands left me, and while I felt abandoned, I waited expectantly for the next phase.

A drip hit my face - cold - very cold - then another, and another. My mouth opened as I prepared to speak, and something small, solid and freezing cold was popped in. An ice cube. I had no choice but to leave it while it melted, chilling my body despite the warmth from the oil, leaving just my pussy hot. Another ice cube touched my chin, sliding down over my throat, across my chest, descending to my breasts.

My toes curled and fists clenched as I realised what came next. Josh worked the cube down my body, finally stopping and leaving it to melt on my belly button.

The cold treatment was not finished, however, as another frozen lump touched my breast. This time, it circled, drawing ever closer to my nipple. Every part of me tensed, until I cried out as my rock hard, super extended nip was frozen solid. I felt my areola must have contracted, drawing the nipple even higher. Another cube touched my other nipple, and I clenched my bum cheeks together before realising the cubes were moving again, down my body.

Josh rubbed all around my pubis, which until so recently had sported a rich thatch of hair, then rubbed over my outer lips. I was frozen now, but so sexually charged, that I thought the ice cubes might just turn directly to steam. They didn't, and as one slid between my lips, touching my recently warmed clit, the other slid lower, next to my burning hole.

I was almost disappointed when my hole was by-passed, and was definitely disappointed when my clit was released - however, as the cube from my clit slipped into my red-hot-hole, the other one was slipped straight into my other hole - and there they were left, melting, while Josh moved away yet again.

Suddenly, there was intense pain. Burning. I screamed at first, then as that sensation eased, relaxed. Suddenly, again, on my stomach, intense burning, followed by quick cooling. I drew a sharp breath. Pain and pleasure again. It hurt, but, oh god, the sheer sensual joy was beyond belief, and I was just so excited.

I have no idea if my pussy got wet, as it was already sopping, and as the thought flitted through my head, the burning again. This time, directly on my nipple. I hissed, arching my back as I felt whatever splashed on me contract and harden. I knew the sensation, but could not place it. More drips - my other nipple, pubis, stomach. Pain and pleasure blurred.

It was not until Josh began picking at my skin where the drops had fallen that I realised what it was. Candle wax. Hot - cooling quickly - hardening. I think everyone must have dripped wax on themselves at some point - but how many recognised the erotic potential?

I heard rustling - the familiar sounds of undressing, then, pressing against my lips, the head of Josh's cock. I opened my mouth willingly, sucking hard, and this time it was not me bobbing up and down. He began to thrust in and out, deep into my throat, almost making me gag.

Then, there was a push on my pussy. Something long, solid entered me, and as soon as it was inside, a quick wiggle as Josh fiddled with part of it, and the vibrations began. Then, both together.

As he thrust in and out of my mouth, he slid the vibrator in and out of my vagina. My mind was exploding from the array of sensual experiences - smooth, rough, warm, cold, warm again, painful, soothing - either I went insane, or I had a massive orgasm, bucking against my restraints, squeezing the unfeeling plastic tube and almost biting down on the engorged organ in my mouth.

Josh withdrew, and I lay, gasping like a newly landed fish as I tried to get oxygen to my addled brain.

I felt gentle hands untie my feet, and undo the handcuffs. I was relieved to move from that position, as my arms and legs were becoming tired. However, relaxation was not immediately allowed. I was manipulated onto my knees, bum in the air and head down. I felt soft hands stroke my buttocks, running between them, gently parting them. I didn't care. Josh could do whatever he wanted.

'SLAP!' pain radiated from my bum cheek. 'SLAP'. Again. More pain. Again, a hard slap, excitement now taking over from the instant dislike. More slaps. Again and again. Then a pause. 'Swish ... slap'. Narrower this time, more focused pain. More pleasure. Time after time, Josh spanked me, and time after time I silently begged him to do it again.

He continued as I moaned and groaned, before finally stopping, undoing my blindfold and lying back on the bed beside me. The paddle and switch lay next to him.

As I rolled over and sat up, still blinking from the sudden intrusion of light, he whispered:

"Now fuck me."

I mounted him, guiding his thick cock deep into my pussy and sliding up and down on it. I wondered how red my bum was. I could feel it, sore, glowing. After a few minutes, Josh grabbed my hips and we rolled over without separating. He plunged his full length inside me, making me gasp as he began to pound away. I wondered if my pussy might be too loose for him, but he made no complaint.

He pushed my legs over my shoulders and kept ploughing into me, making me gasp and moan. My already hyper-sensitive parts dragging out orgasm after orgasm, until it felt as if I was having one continuous climax.

He flipped me over, hammering me from behind - he seemed desperate to cum - maybe the photos, bondage and spanking had that effect on him - and suddenly, he stopped.

Reaching for the shopping bag, he pulled out the lubricant. I knew what he wanted, and was delighted. I wanted it too. Kneeling behind me, I felt his finger at my bum-hole, coating it - then a pause - probably putting it on himself. There was pressure, and I wondered if it might not fit. Then I relaxed, consciously allowing myself to let that little ring release, and felt him slide in.

"Fuck, you're tight," he gasped, as he thrust in and out, slowly.

I had thought it would hurt, but whether because I was ready and relaxed, or because Josh used plenty of lubricant, it simply didn't. I loved it. I don't know why, because it didn't hit any erogenous zones (apart from the sensitive skin around the hole), but it felt amazingly good - eight solid inches entering, leaving, entering again, leaving again.

Then suddenly, he pulled out. Pushing me on my back, he pointed his cock at my face and in two strokes, shot his creamy cum all across my face. Leaning forward, I took him in my mouth, feeling each spurt on my throat, and finally sucking out every last drop, before swallowing.

He fell back on the bed.

"Sorry," he smiled at me, "your arse is so tight I almost came in there. I've been hard half the afternoon, and I just had to cum."

I hugged him close, and we kissed. I told him, quite honestly, that it was definitely not a problem. I think I had more orgasms that afternoon than many women have in their entire lives. He laughed and turned off the cameras.

We lay together, holding each other, and gradually, without thinking, fell asleep.

When we woke, it was dark, and our initial reaction was panic - had we slept so long that the others were home and had checked in on us? Frankly, at that point, neither of us would have cared if they learned about our relationship. We planned everyone when my aunt and uncle took us home anyway. We would have been less happy to have been found with handcuffs, rope, vibrators, other sex toys and video cameras surrounding us though.

As it was, we had a couple of hours before they got back. We began by tidying up. Most of our purchases from the sex shop went into my room, as there was little point in Josh keeping them. He had plenty to keep him busy with photographs and videos - though, as he said, editing might take a while as he would be stopping 'for a wank' every five minutes.

Once tidy, we decided to go for a swim to clean up. We spent maybe half an hour in the pool, loving the idea of swimming naked together. We started making love in the pool, but decided it was tricky, and moved inside to the bed.

Once there, the kinky excesses of earlier were forgotten. We made love gently, passionately, climaxing simultaneously as we kissed and whispered promises of undying love. It was beautiful and romantic, and showed how we were capable of having sex on different levels, but still finding equal pleasure.

We lay together until we started getting a little edgy about the thought of my aunt, uncle and sister coming home. We decided it would be best to get up, put on our pyjamas and watch TV until they returned, then meet up again in my room. We considered telling them that we were together, so we could sleep together that night, but I wanted to tell my parents at the same time as his. It seemed fair, and would avoid any embarrassing phone calls from my aunt to my mum - and the concern which my mum would experience.

We sat on the sofa watching a standard horror film, cuddled together and kissing, before springing apart when the door opened at almost one in the morning.

There was giggling and shushing as they came in, apparently thinking we would be in bed, and they were surprised to see us.

"Darlings," my aunt gushed, slightly drunkenly, "what happened to you? We were so hoping you'd join us. Everyone was looking forward to meeting Jen."

"Mum," stated Josh, "you know I hate that place. I haven't been there since I've been old enough to tell you I don't want to go. You also know that Jen doesn't buy into your lifestyle. It might work for you, which is fine, but please accept, once and for all, it is definitely not for me, and I don't think it's for Jen either."

Normally, I wouldn't have liked a man speaking for me, but Josh was right, and I backed him up.

"Josh is right, Aunt Cathy. If you want that sort of lifestyle, it's fine, but I don't think it's for me. I'd rather keep away from it."

"Boring cow," muttered my sister.

"No, Debbie," rumbled Uncle Carl, "Jen's young, and probably has issues with body confidence, insecurity and generally being uptight. She'll mature one day and realise that freedom is important, and when she does, she'll be welcome to join in."

He beamed at in such a patronising manner, that I yearned to slap his face. I also yearned to show him the video Josh and I had made, to demonstrate exactly how 'uptight' I was - because some parts of had been substantially looser than ever before. I held back though.

"Sorry, Uncle Carl," I said, looking him in the eye, "you're very wrong. I just want to choose who I share myself with, rather than make myself available to everyone who wants a piece of me. I'm confident to be selective and wait for what I want, rather than just putting it out for everyone who wants me."

There was an uncomfortable silence, which my aunt finally broke.

"Well, we've had a lovely time. I think Debbie learned a few new things - especially from Mark and Dean. They're a lovely couple. Both bisexual. We could see how much she enjoyed it - well - in between enjoying ourselves, of course."

She cackled, and I decided not to imagine what my sister had been up to.

"A few people are coming over tomorrow afternoon for your last day, so we'll have a barbecue by the pool. You don't have to stay, Jen, but it'd be nice if you came to say goodbye."

Josh sighed deeply. "Mum. Jen has seen about half a dozen of these people as she walked through during your party. She hasn't actually spoken to any of them. Anyway, I said I'd take her to the Priory tomorrow."

I was grateful to Josh for coming up with an excuse to get me out of the farewell barbecue. The Priory was a ruined monastery, and a fascinating historical site, which I was keen to visit. As well as its conventional religious background, it was reputed to be the site of pagan rituals and more recent satanic worship. Apparently a cult had tried to summon the devil there, but I guessed it was more likely to be people who got a kick from dancing naked round a fire and chanting.

There followed a discussion about the Priory, and how my aunt felt it was such a shame that people felt the need to find an excuse 'to free themselves'. My sister commented that old ruins were 'boring'. Josh said he planned to take his camera and try to get some atmospheric photographs, while I just kept quiet.

The mood in room was rather antagonistic, and only Debbie seemed to be thriving on it, so my Josh and I announced we were going to bed. Not long after, we heard the others going to their rooms, no doubt tired after their long day.

I lay back, reading my book. The detective/stripper/prostitute had been captured by the gang of sex-traffickers she sought to arrest, and tied to a bed, naked. She was being raped regularly and generally abused. While she hated most of it, she had found herself enjoying being submissive and considering how this contrasted with her usual dominant role as a police officer.

Josh slid into my room and kissed me, before stripping and slipping into bed beside me.

"So, what are we really doing tomorrow?" I asked.

"Going to the Priory," he stated, "I know you want to, and I thought we might take advantage of the opportunity."

I looked at him, quizzically. There was more. He exhaled a long breath.

"I thought," he smiled, "that we might take advantage of the peace and quiet out there to take some ... artistic photos. There's hardly ever anyone around, especially when it's hot like this - everyone goes to the beach. It might be a bit risky, but should be fun."

It certainly sounded fun.

Our love making that night was a mixture of gentle kisses, holding and romance, and more passionate fucking. He licked my pussy, and I sucked him. We used our hands and fingers to excite and stimulate - then more vigorously and on our back passages as well. Josh entered me in several positions, and anally as well, before removing his condom and letting me jerk him off over my breasts.

He lowered his head, and licked up his own semen, drawing in my nipples as he nibbled, before descending to lick me to a final, shuddering climax.

That night, he didn't bother returning to his room. We were beyond worrying about the opinions of my aunt and uncle, and anyway, we would be awake and up long before them. We still preferred to keep our secret on our own terms, but we were irritated and felt that, at that point, our need for one another was greater than the need to play games.

As expected, we were up first, and sat eating breakfast when Debbie tottered in. She was hungover after a day of drinking at the 'Club' and afterwards. She made a few snippy comments about me, stating that I was prudish, stuck up and had a 'stick up my arse'. If only she knew.

Josh disappeared to his room to gather his camera. He had a camera of near professional quality, and a range of lenses to match. He had tried to talk me through it all, but I became lost in the jargon - prime, zoom, aperture, shutter speed, ISO etc. I would learn more once I was back home, but this was not the time.

I dressed in my sexiest lingerie (purple bra and thong, trimmed with ivory lace) and a simple dress with buttons down the front - easy to undo and open, and equally easy to slip back on. I was excited. The idea of being naked outdoors, possibly not far from other people and with the risk of getting caught was a huge turn on.

I also planned to get some 'artistic' photos of Josh. I had some, but wanted more - just him, looking handsome and sexy, as most of the images to date were totally sexual, often featuring both of us. I also wanted to capture his 'cum-face' as he jerked off. So far, I had been reluctant to miss out on participating in his climaxes, but the idea of him, alone, for me to enjoy back home was already making me moist.