Finding Myself Pt. 01

We watched three videos before going to my room, feeling ready.

I wished I had worn my sexy lingerie, but as we kissed on my bed, decided I didn't care. I just wanted to be out of my clothes and feel Josh inside me.

We pulled off each other's t-shirts and explored our upper bodies, as if for the first time. My bra came off, and I relaxed as he felt my breasts and fingered my nipples, pinching them and pulling in the way I loved so much. He lowered his head, licking and suckling, not rushing, but enjoying my body as he revelled in his attentions.

He stripped me, dragging down my shorts and knickers before kissing me on the lips again, his hands travelling down between my legs, which I willingly parted. His fingers pushed through my outer lips roughly, before he stayed his passion and touched my clitoris gently. I moaned. I had welcomed his less tender approach, and, regardless, his attention to my breasts had me slippery, letting his fingers in easily.

He located the hard nub of my clitoris, sending electric sparks along my spine into my brain. He rubbed gently, then firmly, then tapped before rubbing again. I had taught him well.

Keeping his hand in place, he stood by the bed, confusing me at first, until I realised he wanted me to remove his shorts. I grabbed the waistband and dragged them over his thighs, pulling his erection down at first, before letting it spring back up like a jack-in-the-box. I leaned across and grabbed it, stroking slowly, not wanting to finish him too quickly. I wanted him inside me sooner rather than later, and while I was certain that he would manage a second performance, our need for privacy might not allow enough time.

I worked up the saliva in my mouth, and engulfed the soft, engorged head, moving steadily back and forth, while my hand caressed his shaft, then his balls, before sliding beneath to touch his anus. I heard his breathing become deep as my attentions excited him, and felt his fingers slide inside me, working slowly at first, then more quickly. He knew he could make me climax as often as he wished, and his vigorous fingering suggested that this was his aim.

I was already incredibly excited, and it took relatively little to bring me to my climax. As my pussy pulsed and my body spasmed, I know that I clamped my lips harder than intended, and he moved back, leaving my mouth with a comical 'plop'.

As I gasped, he smiled down at me, then lay next to me again, kissing my lips briefly and moving down my stomach before approaching my sex. He pushed my legs wide, and opening my labia with his fingers, applied his tongue directly to my clit. His other came round, fingers pushing inside me again, then leaving. Suddenly, I felt something larger, synthetic pushing into me - then it began vibrating. While I was busy sucking him, he had taken the vibrator from my drawer, and was preparing me for his larger invasion.

To change the angle of his attentions, he swivelled round, bringing his cock next to my face. Gleefully, I took it in my mouth as we achieved the 69 position for the first time.

He licked me, slid a vibrator in and out of my soaking pussy, while his other hand reached beneath my hip, spreading my buttocks and delving as far as possible between them. In turn, my arms encircled his hips, and I too reached as far as was practical. As it was, neither of us could reach the other's back passage, so we had to be content with touching the soft skin nearby. Maybe we would consider anal later.

Again, I was gentle, while he had no need to hold back, and with my heightened sensitivity, a second climax came rapidly. This time, I know liquid flowed freely from me, but Josh did not withdraw. He lapped at the flow, taking in as much of my juice as possible - still leaving plenty for him slide smoothly into me.

Now he turned again, looking into my eyes. His chin was slick with ... me ... and he kissed me deeply, letting me taste myself, and him. It was a heady mix, and I loved it, like tasting some succulent forbidden fruit.

"I love you," he whispered, and I repeated the words back to him. "Are you ready?"

I did not need to ask what he meant, but nodded. He moved across to grab the condom from his shorts' pocket, and there was a brief, amusing pause as he worked to roll it on, during which I casually fingered myself.

"Don't cum in that," I whispered, "I want to see it and feel it."

He smiled. "I'll try - but I might not be able to hold back."

I shrugged. If that happened, it would be a shame, but no big deal. We had agreed at first that we would wait till I was on the pill and could feel his warm semen explode inside me and trickle down - but we couldn't. We wanted this. The rest could wait.

He climbed between my thighs, and I was glad not to see the absurd rubber coating disfiguring his beautiful penis.

I felt him locate my hole with his fingers and place his rock-hard manhood against it. He pushed, but the angle was slightly wrong, so I reached down and gently but confidently guided him in.

He entered slowly. I don't know why - I was more than ready - though maybe I was tighter than I thought. Inch by inch he penetrated until his full eight inches were inside me. Then he stopped and looked at me. We both smiled and kissed deeply as he withdrew slowly, then slid back in. Several more times he pulled back and re-entered slowly, gauging the depth, before becoming more confident.

I had no idea if all penises were like his, but his seemed to push and squeeze my inner surfaces to perfection, while his pubic bone hit my clitoris on each down-stroke. He began to speed up, and suddenly I screamed. My orgasm caught me unawares in both intensity and immediacy. I thrust up against him, burying my mouth into his neck to avoid further noise, and clinging tightly to him as my pussy throbbed, grabbing, then releasing his cock. I was terrified this would be too much for him. I didn't want this to finish so soon.

He stopped, allowing me to work through the throes of my orgasm before starting to thrust again. I casually wondered how many women had orgasms as they lost their virginity - not many, I guessed - but there again, not many had prepared as we had. Maybe we should write a training manual - or a course for those starting University.

He placed his hands under my thighs, lifting my legs. I moved with him, wrapping my legs around him, limiting his movements, but pulling him even deeper inside. His hands caressed my buttocks, working from deep in the centre, up and down and out, eventually settling in between, resting on my anus, slippery from my juices.

We rocked like that for a while, kissing and resting, before I released him. This time, he pushed my legs upwards, resting them on his shoulders, so that his body was upright and we could look at each other directly. His eyes seemed glazed, almost distant as he kept performing, but tried to avoid the stimulation which would take him over the edge.

He brought his knees up under my bum, spreading my legs to almost 180 degrees. He looked down, able to see everything, staring at my red, soaked pussy, clit and lips on display, half of his cock inside me - then all - then half - then all. I wished I could see. Next time, we should record it - or photograph - whatever.

I was approaching another orgasm, as he gasped, "turn over. From behind. Then I gotta finish."

He withdrew, and I turned over, bum in the air as he moved behind me. The condom looked even more ludicrous now, part hanging off, dangling down, flaccid and ridiculous. Again, I was happy when I couldn't see it.

I guided him into me, aware that he could see every detail - my bum-hole, my pussy, his cock. He grabbed my cheeks and started to thrust, and this time I felt his hand creep around, and a little finger slipped past my anus, as he penetrated both holes.

I also saw another opportunity. Reaching back, I found my clitoris and began to stroke. I began gently, then urgently, knowing he would not be too long, bringing myself to another shuddering orgasm. This time, my throbbing pussy must have been too much. He withdrew rapidly, and despite my ongoing climax, rolled me on my back as he pulled off the obscene condom.

Pointing his cock at my face, he stroked just once before it exploded. Semen splattered my face before he forced it into my mouth, shooting long strings into my throat, almost making me gag. We came together, my orgasm heightened by his, and the taste and feel of his cum wrenching greater spasms and silent moans from me, as my head spun, and I thought, briefly, that I might actually pass out.

It seemed ages before I came to my senses, although it was probably only seconds, and I realised his penis was still in my mouth and my throat was full of semen. He pulled out gently, his face wild and eyes almost possessed. I smiled at him, opening my mouth and hoping he could see inside. Then I swallowed.

His face calmed, and he lay beside me, kissing me, before pulling back to look at my face.

"You're covered," he exclaimed. I reached for a towel to clean up, but he grabbed my arm, pinning it to the bed. Then he leaned across, licking my face, licking his own cum off me, before kissing me deeply. I thought he would pass it into my mouth, but clearly, he had swallowed it. I was surprised, and my face must have shown it.

He shrugged. "Only fair. You do it, why shouldn't I?"

I turned this over in my mind. "Do you think you might be bi as well?" I asked.

He considered. "Not really. I don't mind doing that - tasting it - and when I cum in your pussy, I'll happily lick it out - but men don't turn me on. If you wanted to see me with another man, I would - but not my own choice."

I smiled. I liked that.

"I didn't get to go on top," I pouted, "not fair."

Josh laughed. "Tomorrow. I promise."

We lay back, settled in each other's arms. I wondered what was in Josh's mind. Maybe, like me, he was feeling sad. We had two more nights before I went home. I would miss him terribly. It was a thought I had to tune out. It would spoil the moment.

I then wondered what would happen next. We had acknowledged our wish to explore sharing ourselves with others. That was fine. What about other forms of sex? Spanking sounded fun - maybe light bondage. That appealed too. Naturism in general held no appeal - but with the right people, being naked would be fun. I thought of the brief nudity on the beach with Chris and Connie. Definitely appealing. Perhaps showing my body (and Josh's) to others could be a real turn on - I definitely liked the thought of exhibitionism.

I paused. Where was the repressed, shy prude who arrived here. My aunt and uncle had utterly failed to bring me out of my shell, and yet, here I was. With their son, who they believed as repressed as me - and gay!

I also had another thought. Finding myself had been entirely down to Josh. I had trusted him completely. It never occurred to me not to. We had just bonded, totally imprinting on one another, and I never considered the possibility that I might have been played by a master seducer. I wondered if he felt the same. Our openness, doing things which others often leave till much later in their sexual relationships might have seemed very odd.

I ticked off a few things on my fingers. Did virgins watch each other masturbate? Did they watch porn together? Did they describe precisely how to pleasure one another? Did they perform oral sex, and swallow semen? Did they have sex in several positions? Was a virgin as easy to enter as I had been? My answer was: Yes - if they totally trust one another, are totally open with one another and want to have a wonderful sex life.

On the other hand, either of us could have been 'playing' the other. Time would tell, and I had no regrets anyway. I had found a wonderful new aspect of my life - but if Josh just dumped me, the pain would be deep and intense.

I suddenly realised he was staring at me.

"Penny for them," he stated.

I smiled. I knew I had to be honest, as I felt I had no choice.

"Did you ever worry that I was just seducing you?" I asked - it seemed better than asking the other way round.

"No. I just trusted you. I never trusted the girls at school or Uni. They were too self-possessed and pushy. I just felt our connection. Like it was meant to be. How about you? Ever worried I was 'playing' you?"

The fact that he used my word back to me jarred a little, but made me feel it was just one more telepathic connection.

"No. I never trusted anyone before. Guys said anything to get you into bed. I just knew we were right. I want to be with you for life."

He hugged me. "Me too. I want you to come to Uni as soon as you can. Meet people there. Let everyone know you're part of me now. And as soon as you go home, I'll tell mum and dad. Let's make it official."

"I'm sure my eyes must have gleamed. "Yes. That's exactly what I want. And you come and stay with us. Then people at my end will know you're part of me."

We kissed again, before moving on to another one of my thoughts.

"Well. We've done it now. Doing it without that nasty bit of rubber will still make it better, but we're not virgins any more. What next?"

Josh looked at me with a saucy grin.

"Well. Between us, not sure. Depends what you fancy. I suppose anal. Neither of us mind being touched there. And more toys. We'll have to go shopping. We're seeing Chris and Connie tomorrow, but maybe Friday we could get a bus to town and visit mum's favourite shop. Oh - and photography, videos maybe. We should find some kinky clothes. Maybe try bondage? What d'you think?"

I tried to look as though I was appalled, and watched his face fall at the idea that he had upset me, then replied:

"You're a perve and a sex maniac. But ... mmm ... all sound good. Can't wait to shop. And some time ... maybe if we meet the right people ... we could involve them. Plus, I like people looking at us. Perhaps we could share ourselves a little?"

This time he laughed.

"Now who's the perve? Sounds amazing ... but ... I don't think I could watch another guy have full sex with you. Some things should be just for us. Handjobs, oral - no problem - but not everything."

I agreed with him. I also said we needed to try these things, as while they sounded fine in theory, the reality might be different. Once again we agreed. If we were going to have fun with others, we would be selective and have clear limits.

Once again, we were on the same wavelength.

I looked down, and saw that our conversation had made him hard again. I took his cock in my hand and began to stroke it.

We kissed, and he reached for my tits again. This time, I pushed him back.

"No. I'm going to do this for you. Play with them if you want, but I'm doing the work."

I began working with my hand, my head on his chest, looking down as I worked. He reached down and grabbed his phone, and started to video me.

If he wanted a performance, then fine. I'd give him one.

I lifted his erection so it was vertical and dripped saliva on it, using the slippery surface to twist my wrist and work around his glans, before bringing my other hand across to work his shaft.

I lowered my head, ensuring that my hair was pushed back, as I took him in my mouth. As before, I used hand and mouth to bring him close, before easing off and smiling. I wanted him desperate to cum.

As I pumped with my right hand, my left reached for his shorts next to the bed. In the pocket, I found the packet of condoms and took one out. Pausing briefly, I ripped the wrapper with my teeth, and gently rolled it down over the engorged penis.

I knelt astride him, and placed the rock-hard cylinder against my outer lips, then, opening my lips with two fingers (more for the camera than anything) I guided him into me. Slowly, I lowered myself until my pussy lips touched his shaved pubis.

I was very aware that he was filming every part of my body, and paused to pose, lifting my hair up, before raising my hips and lowering myself again. I started slowly, loving the sensation of his solid manhood inside me, almost leaving, then being retaken by my hungry pussy. Then I moved more quickly, bouncing rhythmically, my own sensations mounting, as he rubbed my sensitive internal parts.

As I began to feel that I was building towards my own orgasm, I dropped my hand between my legs, stroking my clitoris as I bounced. Our earlier sex had left me sensitive, and soon I was losing the control with which I had started, and suddenly, as my climax overtook me, I fell forward on to his chest, knowing that I was squeezing and releasing his cock, moaning in his ear, and breathing as if I had run a marathon.

I apologised for breaking the rhythm, but rather than carry on as we had, I turned around, replacing his manhood inside me, and offering him a view of my bum.

This time, I wanted him to finish inside me, so once a fast rhythm was started, I maintained it. I knew he had to be close, and it took less than five minutes before I felt him stiffen, breathe deeply with moaning gasps and emit a long sigh. Then, deep inside me, I felt his penis begin to twitch and throb. I knew he was shooting his semen deep inside him, and experienced deep regret that I couldn't feel the warmth running in and dripping down outside me.

I kept moving, squeezing with my pussy muscles, trying to ensure every drop was spent, before bending forward, knowing that his camera would see every detail of me, and finding the thought exciting.

I went to turn round so I could lie next to him again, but as I stood, my legs turned to jelly, almost making me fall flat on the floor. I fell forwards, collapsing on top of him.

We kissed again, and exchanged passionate words and promises of undying love - not to mention promises that I would get on the pill as soon as I got back, so I could feel him 'properly' as he came inside me.

It was time for him to leave. We would have loved to fall asleep in each other's arms, but it would have ruined our last couple of days. We knew how much fuss there would be, and my aunt and uncle wanting to quiz us about sex - or worse still, try to advise us. I was left alone once again, and terrible though it was, at least I was able to replay our evening and fix it permanently in my mind.

I slept late the following day, but was still up before the rest of the household, except for Josh. As before, he messaged me, telling me where to meet him, and I left the house before anyone else could get up and stop me.

As the previous day, we met Chris and Connie and made our way to the beach. This time, rather than staying fairly close to the other sunworshippers, we walked for almost an hour, until we came to a beautiful inlet, which was totally deserted. Apart from two or three other couples and a family.

Immediately, we prepared lunch. Josh and I provided the food this time, and had selected shop-bought sandwiches, crisps and fruit, along with bottles of water and two bottles of wine.

After our walk, we ate ravenously before relaxing.

This time, I had worn my small bikini from the start, and Connie had chosen an equally revealing outfit. We lay together, allowing the warm sun to tan us, until Chris sat up.

"Sunbathing's boring. Fuck this. Let's go for a swim."

We all agreed. The walk had left us hot and sweaty, and the chance to get into the cooling water was not going to be passed over. We dashed to the ocean and plunged in, spending the next half hour frolicking and generally having fun.

We changed briskly and unselfconsciously, and I suspect that, had it not been for the family who could see us, we might have remained naked while our swimming costumes dried.

As before, the conversation flowed easily, and without realising quite how it happened, we found ourselves invited to Chris's flat for 'a drink' that evening. Josh and I considered how it would play out with his parents, and we decided we could tell them we were going to the same pub as before, letting them continue to believe that we were both gay and seeking partners there.