All Comments on 'Finding Rebecca Ch. 02'

Pretty sure that she was pushed down onto the bed and handcuffed to it and then suddenly she was being told to take off her blouse with no handcuffs in sight and standing up again only to pushed down onto the bed again.

I really wanted to like a second chapter in this series but that inconsistency/continutity error just took me right out of the story.

Sorry about the inconsistency in the story. I thought I had caught everything in my proofreading. I'm not entirely sure how that escaped my attention. Once again, my apologies.

In addition to my previous comment, please do remember that I am by no means a professional author. These stories are my first attempt at fiction. With that said, all comments are welcomed, and will be taken as constructive criticism. These comment will help in future development of my writing.

Ohhhhh don't stop. More, more, more

I noted the discontinuity as well. Proofread, proofread, proofread--preferably cool-headed. (Try leaving it for a week and coming back to it fresh.)

Also, work on your Department of Redundancy Department sentences. Too much repetition drags your narrative down. (Example: "He rubbed his erect penis up and down her wet slit to lubricate it"...and that's not even the whole sentence. Remember the "omit needless words" part of writing: we're fairly sure he's erect at this stage, you already told us earlier on the page. Rubbing kind of implies an up-and-down, and yes, most of the readers will realize that he's using her fluids for lube at this point. You don't always gotta tell 'em EVERYTHING, even the first time.)