Fly 01

Fly 01

Hi there, my name is Les and I never really took on a fem dresser name because I thought people might just start to refer to me as Leslie on their own, but somehow, the name Fly came to be, even though I do not own a single pair of my undies that have a fly sewn into the front of them these days. But I want to engage with people, so I answer to "Fly" basically all of the time.

However, if you ever find yourself in the "Quad" just off of the McKenna Curve along the north side Middleton River and you give shout out for Leslie, I mean, I'll greet you with a big smile! Well, unless Leslie Linderman beats me to you, but either way, you'll have an enjoyable evening riverside, so come on down. LOL, and ask for Fly.

And if you ask for me and I'm not there, just ask Leslie Linderman to point out my Condo just up the hill. But I'm there most weekends, so pull in and park your vehicle or pull up and tie off your water craft and then try to get too caught up with Leslie Linderman's inflated life preservers. And ask for Fly again, LOL.

Anyways, I recently was the center of attention, which means I was the main "go between" for a deal between one of the crew (Stan) and with my Uncle Pete for the purchase of a, um, a work truck, I guess.

Now before I go any further, don't tell Stan or the others at Quad that I've spoke of them in terms of a "crew" as like in my crew and let's just pretend that "yea, Pete Pinkerton is my uncle" is the same as the center of attention, okay? Besides, I rode that "center of attention" pony for all it was worth, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

But here's what I got out it. I mean, a little extra attention, of course, but I also got two separate rides with a person. Once when Stan picked me up and drove me over to my Uncle Pete's place to give the old work truck the look over and later when I picked Stan up where I drove him over to Uncle Pete's so Stand could pay him and drive his new purchase home.

And in my defense, I never posted either ride as a date on Chang, but I studied every moment of what it meant to be in vehicle beside a real live breathing human being. I also used both rides to, um, dress a lot less. Not so much less that my uncle would freak out, but a lot less than how I normally dress when I walk down the hill from my Condo and hang out at the Quad. Also, my uncle wasn't even home when Stan and I went for the look over, so I was dressed a lot less than Stan or anyone else had ever known from me.

Which Stan noticed immediately just as soon as I trotted to and jumped into his SUV.

"I'll start, Stan. No, this is not my normal look, no, I'm not trying to embarrass you, no, you'll never find me at the Quad looking like this, no, my Uncle Pete will not even be home, yes, I will duck down if you say to do that, but I hope it doesn't come to that and maybe, which is just an answer that I'm holding in my back pocket for a response from you that I haven't thought of yet, so."

Well, other than Stan responding with six "okay" to my six statements, it was a fairly quiet ride to my uncle's place, which I had hoped was not how SUV dates usually go, but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, LOL, I took advantage of the passenger window reflection and had an eerie proof positive that I was in the passenger seat of a living human being.

"Hmm, it's in better shape than the posted photo led me to believe, but listen, Fly, if I try to negotiate the price with your uncle, I mean, stay out of it, alright?"

I mean, for the record, folks, I'm the one who is in good shape! I'm fit and tight, I'm smooth and my legs have a great balance of shape vs. muscle and my hair works for both sides of the street that I walk on, but hey, if a guy wants to get all worked up over an old work truck, then sobeit. I mean, I left a pucker kiss imprint on a passenger side window and photographed with me in the reflection, so that's all that mattered.

"Fly, you seem to be gazing at your uncle's old barn like you're remembering childhood memories or something, so? Or are there other hidden gems in the barn that you know about that I might have an interest in then, hmm?"

"Stan, we're completely alone, so we should be able to speak freely. I mean, if you're hard over this old work truck, then there is probably a few things in Uncle Pete's old barn that might interest you, so we could take a peek through the doors if you like."

LOL, guys and the possibly of new toys, right? No matter how old or junky, right?

"Alright, Fly, I'm confused. There are three older electric winches over here that are all set up for a truck mounting and you're looking around for a bag of dry cement? I don't get that, but would this bucket of baseball field chalk do? I mean, it's white, so?"

I mean, Stan has his idea of a toy and I had mine. Not that I was thrilled about covering my hands with sports field chalk, but the moment was there and so was the barn wall, so.

"Stan, if you allow me to own the next 60 seconds, I mean, I'll owe you and never ever utter a single word, so?"

Well, if guys are just going to answer with "yea, yea, yea" without anymore information, well, that's on them then.

I mean, a set of chalk hand prints on a barn wall that were just at the right height that implied someone was leaning forward and hanging on, right? I mean, that's meme city and I already had the banner of "Barnyard Ambush" swirling around in my head.

"Fly, you're taking your shorts off? OMG, Fly, those are the undies that you wear? Fly, oh, ooh, oh."

"Try not to think about and aim my camera phone, Stan. Stand right there and I'll control my own face exposure angles, so?"

[Snap, snap, snap]

Ahh, that hair style that just covers some of your face when you lean forward, right? I mean, if you can put two and two together based on one eye to figure out who is in the photo, then more power to you.

[Snap, snap, snap]

"I mean, Fly, I'm not gay to say that you should spread your feet a little further part for the next series of photos and I'm definitely not gay to mention that you should lift and twist your hands ninety degrees to imply that the action was hot and heavy, so?"

[Snap, snap, snap]

"Time [mwah], thanks, Stan. LOL, help me find a broom to brush away the evidence then, Stan?"

[Snap, snap, snap]

LOL, that was me taking a few photos of Stan as he whisked away my "Barnyard Ambush" from behind meme evidence.

"I'm running up to the garden hose to wash my hands of this chalk, Stan. Um, we're done now, right?"

And again, huh, an even quieter ride home then, but there was no grunting or yelling or spitting from Stan, so I took that as a win anyways. And Stan won too, LOL, even if he had a problem admitting it. And even if he needed his reverse validation in my driveway when he dropped me back off at my Condo.

"That never happened, Fly!"

"Already agreed to, Stan. I never dropped my shorts so that I pose for a few meme photos and it never happened that you actually modified my pose as I left my hand prints on the barn wall, which implied that I was being ambushed from behind inside of the barn and it never happened that I dried my hands off from the garden hose wash water by stroking your fat cock just behind the barn, so as we agreed, nothing happened, so."

"Well, you don't need to add every little detail when "nothing happened" is good enough, but alright, nothing happened, so?"

"Can you at least say that I look pretty good bent over then, Stan?"

"I mean, Fly, not to add anymore details, but your butt cheeks look very nice in a, um, a thong, right?"

"Correct, but trust me, Stan, I never wear just a thong by itself. I just took advantage of being alone, that's all, so?"

I mean, I didn't know much, but I knew that Stan was becoming a little uncomfortable with things, so I jumped out of his SUV and said my good byes.

"I'll see you down at the Quad soon, Stan. I hope you and my uncle work out a deal and by the way, my only regret is that I made such a mess of things when you blasted off. That was my first time and I just wasn't prepared for all that, so those are the last words that I will speak about what never happened, so."

"Fly, what's your magic number then because that's the third time that you have said that you were done speaking about what never happened, so?"

"Oh, I guess my magic number is three then, Stan. I mean, if I were to mention how I wouldn't have put up much of a fight to make my forthcoming meme even more authentic, I mean, that would be four and my magic number is three, so."

And I guess that was enough math for Stan then as he finally drove away in silence and life went back to normal for the next three days. At least until that Saturday night down at the Quad.

"There's a strange eeriness in the air tonight, Fly, so what do you know about that then?"

"I mean, Lara, maybe it's the full moon or something, so."

"Huh, so, the full moon only has an impact on you and Stan then, Fly? Which is only a little strange since you have been working as the "go between" with this old work truck deal that Stan is trying to work out with your uncle, so."

Distractions, right? They work every time.

"Lara, here, you can take this key to my Condo just up the hill so you can use a bathroom in comfort, so."

[Snatch]

"Well, thank you, Fly and I'll be sure to have Marci pop a boob out for your doorbell camera, but none of this explains the tension in the air, so fess up if something happened when the two of you went alone to give the old work truck a quick review then!"

"Well, I'm sworn to secrecy, so I don't have the right to talk about how everything was going fine and then I had a crazy idea for a "Barnyard Ambush" meme with hand prints on the barn wall, so I don't know why there is tension in the air then, Lara."

"Oh, I see then, Fly, so, did Stan ambush your barnyard then? Not that I'm trying to pry or anything, but still, something happened for all this thick air tension that I could cut it with a knife between you and Stan, so?"

"No, not exactly, but I wouldn't have put up much of a fight for my best meme ever, but after the meme photo shoot, I mean, I'm not supposed to spill anyone else's barnyard ambush secrets, but I may or may not have ambushed his barnyard rake afterwards and Stan might be feeling a little different about that now. Also, jeez, I spilled his farm seed everywhere, so I need to take a class or something."

"Oh, a meme photo shoot then, huh, Fly?"

"Lara, my magic number is three and I've already said three things that I shouldn't have said, so."

"Well, I think you just dished out more like five things, Fly, but we won't quibble."

Oh, so, I mean, just a couple of back-and-forth conversations and then it's over? Cool! And hey there, folks, no fair imagining what Lara looks like as she walks away! Come to the Quad in person if you want to know about that! LOL, and be sure to ask for Fly.

Anyways, I wanted to approach Stan and remind him that we were supposed to act normally, but it was sort of my normal to be left off to the side and use Lara as my "go between" amongst the crew, so I took a different approach.

"Stan, I promise that this is a different topic and it has nothing to do with what didn't happen, but listen, I just wanted to say that you and my uncle seem to be working things out, so you can dump me as your all important "go between" now, so?"

"Well, maybe, Fly, but you listen, just how tolerant is your uncle for your lifestyle then?"

"Oh, the usual, he can handle my "going to class" look, but with the way I was barely dressed a few days ago, I mean, that might be stretching the limits of the barn doors and that would put all of this in an entirely different category, so?"

"Alright, Fly, I get that, but I still want you to drive me over there so that I can pay him and drive my new old work truck home then."

"I mean, Stan, are you suggesting that I dress however I want to, drive you, drop you off and then not get out of my truck so that my uncle can see me then?"

"Fly, that's one possibly, but that seems rude to your uncle, so another possibly might be that you dress however you want to, come to my house with a sweat suit to slip on, drive me to your uncle's place, step outside of your truck in your cover up sweat suit to greet your uncle and that way, it's a win-win for everyone. I mean, that's just another possibly off the top of my head. I mean, it's not like I went to the local Arts and Craft store and bought water paint for hand prints and feet prints or anything, so?"

Damn! Feet! Bare feet! I mean, duh, why didn't I think of that before?

"Well, Stan, is it like you went to another store and bought lubricated condoms too then, hmm?"

"Hey, Fly, I'm just trying to do my part for your silly ambush meme and a garage wall is just the same!"

Oh no, I did not have any good responses to any of that, folks. I mean, first of all, that was sex and second of all, that was sex in my butt while leaning forward against his garage wall and thirdly because three is my magic number, well, maybe. I mean, just because I hadn't, doesn't mean I won't. Besides, I didn't really have a chance to respond to Stan before Lara had returned and cut the tension in the air with the knife that Marci carries in her boot. Or in her cleavage.

"Oops, sorry to break all this high wire tension up, but bye for now, Stan, so ta, ta then."

Which was such of a bad high wire tension break up given that second thing and all, so.

"Fly, I'm just keeping this key to your Condo because your bathroom is the whip and we were quite surprised to see that you left a slide show of your "meme in progress" photos running on your laptop, so."

Damn! Stupid me!

"We matched up with you, LOL, using flour, but we cleaned it up. Also, huh, you look pretty decent like that and you might consider dressing a little differently down here at the Quad going forward then, Fly, so?"

"Oh, I'm sorry about that, Lara, that wasn't on purpose, so."

"And just how did Stan not fuck you stupid then, Fly? I would have if I was taking those photos and if I had a dick, so."

"Marci, well, I already said that I might not have put up much of a fight, but it takes two to Tango, so. Also, each of you still have flour on your chins, so."

"Yea, well, we didn't really wipe up the flour hand and feet imprints either because they were so hot, so?"

Oh, so once again, a few back and forth exchanges and it's over again then? Oh, and once again, if you want to know what Lara and Marci look like walking away side by side, well, you just have to visit the Quad are for yourself then. Or send me a little coin for their side-by-side sex position lean against my second bedroom wall photos.

And by the way, I wore the sweat suit over my clothes when I picked up Stan a few days later to take him to my uncle's place to finish the sale of the old work truck. I mean, there is something to that "heat of the moment" thing, I guess and we both seemed hesitant, so.

"Uncle Pete, just when did you put a lock on the barn doors?"

"Oh, Les, um, a couple of days ago. It seems like some younger people have been entering my barn at night and having sex up against the barn wall. I mean, I found a slight hint of hand prints, so."

"(Ugh, Uncle Pete, you can call me Fly in front of Stan.)"

"Whatever, so, Stan, I'm ready to seal this deal, are you?"

"And I'm ready to drive her home, Pete! I'll also put the word out at the park to the younger people that they had better watch where they're taking their partners, especially if they are taking their partners from behind in some sort of barnyard ambush, so."

"Good, thanks, hand me that check and I'll hand you the keys then."

"Well, well, oops, oops, oops, I mean, Uncle Pete, I mean, maybe you should install a security camera back here because there are no cameras back here now, right? Or even a few days ago?"

"Oh, I wish, Les, I mean, Fly, but I don't think I should discuss my porn video likes with my nephew, even if my nephew dresses like a niece, so."

"Whew, I mean, ahh, that's too bad, Uncle Pete!"

I mean, while they shook hands and had those odd macho conversations, I walked around to make sure I didn't see a camera. And then I ducked inside of the barn to see how slight the hand print evidence was and yep, there they were, a white shadow of my dainty hands prints. I mean, I grabbed a screwdriver to swipe the finger tips clean of finger prints, but not before I snapped off a few extra photos.

And Stan should wear a cow bell around his neck!

"I should have fucked you so hard right here, Fly!"

"Yea, you should have, Stan, I mean, oh, oops, you startled me, Stan, but yea, I wouldn't have put up much of a fight that day, so."

"But I'm detecting that you feel that moment has passed then, I suppose, right Fly?"

"Moments come and moments go, Stan. And I suppose that my uncle has one eye on us, so?"

And there the next moment went, right? Stan pulled out of the driveway and went left and I pulled out of the driveway and went to the right and my "Barnyard Ambush" meme was still incomplete. And even though my hand prints were faded in the barn, there was no way that I was going to wipe down the walls of my second Condo bedroom where Lara and Marci, LOL, matched up with me.

End Fly 01