All Comments on 'Forbidden Desires - Ch. 01'

What are you captain of Natty? Bathroom attendants? Your porn is hilarious.

Well written.

Well written with almost correct use of the English language. The one mistake was the misspelling of the word arse. It is not spelled ass. Otherwise very well done

More bland than anything, like reading a school report instead of a story. Needs dialogue, something of the people how they came to where they are now. 2 stars on this.

Its amazing what a piece of chocolate will do for you. Written by someone who knows the Kings english and how to relate it to the work force, If the husband was working late, did he ever come home and if the guy had stayed wouldn't he have caught them? 3 years and bored, what can we expect after this tryst?

A slow start with the hope of better to come? Time will tell. My biggest fault is when writers can't remember where their characters are while having sex. At one point, she was on top and mysteriously suddenly was on the bottom. Minor issue, I agree, but sometimes it is the little things that stop a great story from just being a better-than-average story. I'll hopefully give it 4 stars.

The writing is a bit like a report. There is really no character development, but, instead, we are informed of some character traits. So far we have a bored and disappointed wife cheating in a standard environment for standard reasons. Is there anything creative here?