Forever is a Strong Word

"That's funny you say that because, since the time at the Center, I've noticed how similar we are in many ways."

"I think you're right," he said, studying her face. He was searching for any hint she might give regarding her feelings for him. He was a little surprised at how impatient he'd gotten recently regarding that issue.

"You joined right in and helped, and Ruth told me she watched you to see if you seemed to feel at home helping or that it might be a chore. She said you looked very content."

"I was content that you had invited me, and I was there with you and could watch you in action. But, when it was my turn, and I found myself helping people, it was very satisfying."

"That makes me very happy." A big smile filled her face. Those dimples again.

Bryan was going crazy, wondering if that was the director of the Center speaking...or just Tanny. He was already beginning to hope he could survive the evening.

"Seeing you happy makes me happy," he declared as their food arrived.

She ignored what he'd said with a wide-eyed stare at her food.

"I can't eat all of that," she said, looking up at Bryan.

"They have take-home boxes, and I bet Mikaela would love to sample what mama had for dinner."

"Dinner with Bryan," she added. "She likes Bart's daddy."

"She hardly knows me."

"She knows Bart, and after we went to the Center together, she wanted to know if I liked you."

Bart held his breath, waiting for Tanny to continue. She just looked at him with a playful smile and took a bite of her Cashew Chicken.

"This is really good," she said with a full mouth." When she'd swallowed the bite, she said, "Pardon the full mouth, but it is so good I couldn't wait."

The moment had passed, and Bryan wondered if that was on purpose. He was dedicated to doing nothing to offend her, even though he wanted to hold onto her for the whole evening. But she seemed devoted to driving him crazy. Was it on purpose, or just her personality? If he had to vote, he'd favor the former.

They continued to eat and filled their take-home boxes, and were ready to leave. He suddenly felt her hand on top of his.

"This is awkward, but Bryan, do you like me?"

His eyes opened wide in shock, and he struggled to keep control after the opening she'd given him.

"Tanny, in a word, yes. In a number of words, more than you're imagining right now."

"But you've barely touched me and not said anything to tell me that."

"That's on me, but I wasn't sure where you were, so I've been very timid."

"Very understandable, and thank you. And your reading of me is...well, very accurate. But something very simple happened just a little over an hour ago."

She had Bryan's rapt attention now.

"The babysitter, who I use all the time, asked where the dinner was tonight. When I told her I had a date, she danced around, clapping her hands, and gave me a hug. She asked about when I'd had my last date, and when I told her five years, she insisted I let loose and have a good time. I'm trying," she added with a little giggle.

"Giggle again for me."

"Bryan, no."

"Let's head for the car."

Once in the car, Bryan eyed Tanny.

"Now you can giggle."

"Still no."

"How about if I tickle you?"

"Don't you dare. You said you were going to be good."

"No, I said I was being timid. This would be timid tickling."

Tanny scooted over against the passenger door...and giggled.

"I wasn't going to tickle you, you know. "

"I suspected you wouldn't, but I'm so ticklish that just hearing the word nearly causes panic."

Bryan laughed "I'll file that away for future reference."

More references to the future. Bryan wasn't keeping it a secret that he was expecting them to have a future. But why not. She was going to have a future. The question right now was would bryan be a part of it.

At this moment, though, Bryan was more concerned with the present than the future.

"Want to go to my place and have some popcorn and watch a movie? Or maybe just talk?"

"How about my place, and we can send the sitter home and be with the kids?"

"I can handle that."

The rest of the evening went well with pleasant conversation, getting the kids to sleep, and enjoying some delicious pecan pie that Tanny provided.

when it was time for Bryan to leave, they both stood, and she extended her arms.

"Thanks for a wonderful evening," she said as they hugged. I wasn't sure what to expect...from me, that is."

"That's supposed to be my line, and it certainly goes for me too. I hope I've been what you expected, or maybe hoped for would be better."

"I guess we both were a little nervous, but it's worked out perfectly."

"Well enough to do something together again?"

"Definitely."

A tiny bit of wariness still clung to Tanny, but nothing had happened that would cause her to turn and run. So far, Bryan had been just what he'd appeared to be. Having a first date had seemed traumatic before it had happened. She was sure a second would be equally fun and, yes, exciting.

◇-◇-◇-◇

Tanny was surprised when she heard the knock on her door.

"Who's there?"

"Your wonderful older sister."

"What's your name?"

"Tanny, let me in."

"Just trying to be safe."

"It's Brenda, you dork."

"Identity confirmed. Please enter," Tanny said as she unlocked the door.

"You're a pain in the ass sometimes," Brenda said, unable to stifle a chuckle. "Where's Mikaela?"

"Two doors down. People just moved in with a four-year-old."

"How convenient. Anything new with you?"

"Sort of, yeah."

"What's up?"

"I had a date, and I'm going to have another."

"Tanny! With the same guy?" Brenda grabbed her sister's shoulder. "Let's sit down because I want to hear all the details."

"There aren't any details like what you're thinking of."

"We'll see. Start talking." Tanny was getting the "come on" wave from her sister.

"You're always so warm and comforting."

As she talked, Tanny was contemplating how much to share wIth Brenda. She realized that resisting was useless as Brenda was always able to squeeze out every bit of information she wanted.

"It's a guy I met at the preschool. He has a son, Bart, and he and Mikaela hit it off perfectly from the first day."

"So, you're two couples then?"

Tanny frowned.

"Tell me about him."

"He seems to be a great guy. We just said hello at first, then kept seeing each other, and we'd chat a little. He's an engineer and has a nice, if modest, house."

"You've been there?"

"And," Tanny added with a giggle, "I talk with his ex sometimes when she brings Bart to preschool."

"Wait, his ex?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You mean he's divorced.

"Yes, but that's not what defines him."

"He's a one-time loser, and you want to be number two on his dumpster list?"

"Brenda, he's not like that at all. He's a caring and sensitive guy."

"I'm sure his ex thought that too when she married him."

"I don't know about that, but he did tell me about the divorce. It was her that caused it."

"Sure it was. And on a first date, he's going to tell you what an asshole he was with his first wife?"

"Brenda, come on. He's not like that at all."

"You've just been through a horribly painful experience, and you're setting yourself up to go through another. I hate to see that happen, Tanny."

"Why are you so bitter about marriage? You've never been married to have a problem with it."

"I'm just enough older than you are to remember Uncle Brennan and the vicious and ugly time he had with Anna. I still remember the screaming and some of the names they called each other."

"No, I don't remember any of that, and it doesn't apply to me anyway." Tanny couldn't decipher where all this vitriol was coming from. She'd never heard it from Brenda before.

"And there was Tommy Harrison, the captain of the football team my senior year. One week after graduation, he married Charlotte Burns. I heard the other day that number three has filed for divorce because he's having an affair with who he wants to be number four."

"Those are sad stories, Brenda, but they don't have any meaning for where I am with Bryan."

"Tanny, it's just that I sat with you after Terry was killed and watched you cry for hours on end. And as soon as you'd stop, you'd walk by a photo of Terry, and it would restart. I don't want you to go through that again."

Tanny suspected that it was Brenda who didn't want to go through it again, but she appreciated her friend's concern. It just seemed unwarranted and totally out of left field.

"You need to meet him because I think you'll like him enough to be happy for me. He's super with the kids, and I think...well, I know that he likes me a lot. We just need to let things run their course and see how they work out. I'm not planning to jump into bed with him or run off to Las Vegas and get married, either. Trust me a little."

Brenda stared at her for long moments.

"Maybe I got carried away. I just want the best for you, and I know I'm always encouraging you to go ahead and have some dates, and now you're doing it, and I'm messing things up for you." She stopped and smiled at Tanny. "I'd like to meet him sometime, as long as you promise not to tell him about this conversation."

"We'll figure something out, and I promise."

◇-◇-◇-◇

"Hi Kayla," Bart said, letting loose of his mother's hand and running to his friend. "Can we go inside, Mama?"

"Sure, honey. You two go on inside," Paula said as she watched Tanny nod approval.

"Those two are something, aren't they?" Tanny always smiled when Bart and Mikaela ran off together.

"Thank goodness they're only three, and we don't have to worry about them running off to Vegas."

That had them both laughing.

When the laughing stopped, Paula's face had a serious look.

"The grapevine never stops working."

A puzzled look from Tanny and a subtle smile from Paula.

"I heard from a Chinese restaurant that you were there with Bryan."

Tanny stiffened, not sure what to expect next.

"He asked me, and..."

"He's a great guy, isn't he?"

Tanny blinked, sure her mouth was hanging open too.

"Paula, yes, he is, and I'm not sure what to say."

"He's just a great guy, and I don't blame you for going out with him."

"But you...I mean..."

"I had my chance, but it was a pompous and self-centered me that screwed things up, and I hurt him and was arrogant about it. I even blamed him. Knowing him, if he asked you for a date, he really cares for you."

"Wow! I still don't quite know what to say." Tanny was stymied by what Paula was saying and the way she was saying it. It was completely unexpected.

"Let me go on then. I've grown to love Bart beyond what I ever imagined. I cherish the week I get to spend with him. Are you ready for this?"

Tanny somehow knew she wasn't going to be ready for whatever Paula was going to say. She had been lost since running off to Vegas.

She was able to chuckle, but said very softly. "Probably not ready, but go ahead."

"If things worker out, and you and Bryan marry..." A gasp from Tanny "...I want to be part of it. I want to see Bart and Mikaela play together. I'm even bold enough to want to come with Bart to visit the three of you."

"I've...I've never heard of anything like that."

"We'll be trailblazers, then," Paula said, laughing. "Give me a hug, and let's get on with our day."

They hugged, and Tanny was surprised at how satisfying it was. She wasn't sure how important it was or might be, but knowing that Paula approved of her and Bryan being together felt good.

Paula went the other direction, and Tanny headed for her car. On the drive to the Center, she mulled over what Paula had said. She had no reason to disbelieve what Paula had said, and she was relatively certain she'd read her as being sincere, and she was going to operate on that conclusion.

Sitting at her desk at the Center and still pondering her conversation with Paula, Tanny heard her phone buzz. Since she was by herself, she checked the screen. Bryan.

"Hey."

"Hi. You busy?"

"Sure, but I can talk."

"Good. When are you free this week?"

Tanny wasn't sure why the thought of saying, I'm never free popped into her head. Maybe something left over from Terry, but she was thankful she didn't say it. Being that suggestive at this point in their budding relationship didn't seem appropriate.

"It's kind of a Bummer of a week. I've got three dinners, and I should spend the other two evenings with Mikaela. So, how about Saturday?"

"Sounds good to me. Anything special you'd like to do?"

Tanny sighed. There really was nothing she could think of at the moment.

"Surprise me."

"Um, that's a big responsibility," Bryan replied.

"I trust you. No worries."

That was at least the second time she'd said she trusted him, and it gave him a warm feeling inside. But he did have an idea.

"I guarantee you'll be surprised."

"I'm counting on it."

"Anything else going on?"

A moment of contemplation. "I had a long talk with Paula this morning."

"Interesting. Anything special come up?"

Tanny smiled to herself. "Just girl-talk." In a way, that was true, but she wasn't quite ready to share all that Paula had said.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." She smiled to herself, her answer telling her how comfortable she was with him.

Bryan laughed. "You haven't known Paula that long, but have you noticed any changes in her?"

She had noticed differences, but were they changes?

"I really haven't known her long enough to tell, Bryan."

"Probably true. She's quite a bit different from how she was when we divorced."

"It's probably Bart. I think she really feels like a mother now."

"I've seen that, too. You're probably right."

Tanny felt a little uncomfortable spending all this time talking about Bryan's ex, particularly with the ex being involved with both of them. But it was done, and Tanny was wondering if paranoia was taking hold of her. The way Bryan had been talking and questioning about Paula, was he thinking of attempting to renew that relationship. She was doubly surprised at how much that thought disturbed her.

She hoped the second date with Bryan would tell her what she needed to know.

*****

"Hi, Bryan."

"Hi, Tans. Just thought I'd give you a heads up about today."

"That's good because I was wondering." She had been wondering about the date, but now she was wondering about "Tans," which she'd enjoyed hearing.

"I kind of doubt it, but do you have a long dress, kind of country style, but a little dressy? Does that make sense?"

"Maybe if you tell me what we're doing, it would help."

"Can't do that, but I hope you got a rough idea from my pee-poor description."

Tanny laughed. "I've got it covered."

"It'll be good to see you again after all these days."

Tanny loved hearing those words and the little flutter of her heart that accompanied it.

"You too, Bryan. What time should I be ready?"

"I'll pick you up about two-thirty, okay?"

""I'll be ready." That seemed early for a Saturday date, and it made it very curious about what he had in store for her.

"Can hardly wait. Bye now."

"Goodbye, Bryan."

It was ten o'clock, so Tanny had over four hours--actually three hours if she accounted for getting ready time.

"Mikaela, would you like to go to the mall with me?"

"Yeth," was her simple reply.

"Walk or ride?"

"Wide." Sometimes it seemed that Mikaela want to be the fairy queen, riding in her chariot around the mall. But it was simpler to push the stroller than to try to keep holding one of those tiny hands.

Tanny loaded Mikaela into her car seat and the stroller into the back of the SUV, and they were off.

As they went through the door into the mall, Tanny knew what to expect--the irresistible smell of fresh popcorn. Mikaela was quickly clutch the paper bag filled with deliciousness, munching hundrily, but dropping as many to the floor and she got to her mouth.

A short walk to the anchor department store, and Tanny went to the women's department to begin the search through the racks of dresses, not knowing exactly what she was looking for. She finally settled on an off-gray ankle-length with just above the elbow sleeves and a bib of white ruffles. The price also surprised her--it seemed appropriate for a country dress. When she tried it on, she was satisfied with the view she saw in the mirror. It was a look she wasn't used to, which only spurred her curiosity to new heights. She could hardly wait for this afternoon.

Satisfied, she pushed Mikaela back to the car, and they headed home.

At a little after one o'clock, she began getting ready, even more anxious to find out what Bryan's surprise was going to be. She'd never favored "normal" colognes, opting instead for citrus fragrances. She used just a couple of small dabs, wanting to maintain a subtle scent. No hose, careful brushing of her hair, extremely subtle makeup, and a pair of flats completed her outfit.

The sitter arrived at two-fifteen, and Mikaela was happy to see her. All Tanny could do now was wait. Even at that, she started when the Bell sounded.

She was smiling as she opened the door, her curiosity totally overwhelming any lingering anxiety she might have.

"Oh...my...gosh, how did you do that?"

"You like it?"

"It's perfect, Tans."

That special name again, and the look on his face said more than any words could.

"I hope so. I wasn't sure."

"I'd have loved to have told you, but that would have ruined the surprise."

"I'm ready to be surprised."

They went to Bryan's car, and were off. Twenty-five minutes later, they pulled into a large parking lot.

"This is the Historical Society." She was surprised, but not in the way she thought she'd be."

"Don't judge things too quickly. There's a lot more to come," Bryan cautioned.

He offered his arm, and she happily took it, feeling very special.

At the top of the steps, they'd bypassed the regular ticket booth and went straight to the door where Bryan handed the attendant two tickets from his coat pocket.

"Welcome, and is this your first time attending the celebration and the Tavern?"

Both of them nodded.

"A special welcome then, and enjoy the afternoon and evening."

Afternoon and evening? She wondered what that might mean.

They went inside and followed the signs to the special exhibit, which Tanny found covered the history of the area from the Indian inhabitants to the mid-eighteen hundreds.

Bryan took hold of her hand, another first, and they moved along slowly, carefully reading the informative signs, and listening attentively to the guides who provided much information and answered questions as well.

Tanny had been raised in the area and remembered going to the museum on an elementary school field trip, but hadn't been there since. All the information she was absorbing was fascinating, and she vowed to begin making regular visits with Mikaela.

She had learned more local history in a couple of hours than she had in the rest of her life. She squeezed his hand.

"Thank you. This has been surprisingly wonderful."

"And it's just beginning," he said.

How's that?" she asked, and her question was immediately answered.

"Special guests and travelers, welcome to the Wyandotte Tavern. Dinner has been carefully prepared for the past several hours, and we're ready for you to enjoy. Follow me, please."

"Bryan, what is this?" Tanny asked, squeezing his hand once more.

"I think we're both about to find out."

Bryan tugged her into the line, and they went out the door, across some grass, and into a large building that was clearly a replica of an early American inn. Once inside, the aroma of the food was mesmerizing. They were informed that place cards were on each table, and they quickly found theirs.