Forever Taboo

So, shortly after they moved in, Marie dropped what would have been a bomb for most guys, but my brother just took it in stride. Marie's little sister needed help to escape a life she was kind of trapped in. Carson simply said, 'let's go get her.' And they did.

Anna was twenty at the time, and had been working as a hotel maid since she was fourteen. She had to find ways to finish high school on her own, as working was her only means of support. They had a brother at the time, who was a totally bad influence on everything he touched. He was the reason Anna had to work seven days a week. Sadly (unless you ask one of them) their brother was killed in an automobile accident. Basically, he was driving drunk, and drove under the back of a parked tractor-trailer at 65 miles an hour. The other person in the car died as well.

Anyhow, Carson and Marie turned up at the hotel one day, told Anna get her stuff, and told the manager that she quit. Eight hours later, for the first time in her life, Anna was standing in her own bedroom.

Carson helped her get registered for college, and even subsidized a full set of new clothes for her. Not even Marie could believe he did it. I kissed my brother and told him he totally rocked.

Marie is twenty-seven, and is now managing the restaurant where she and Carson met. Anna is twenty-five, and having finished college, is now a Registered Nurse, working at a local hospital.

Now for the weird part of their story.

The three of them are in a polyamorous relationship, and have been for almost two years. I think Dad and I are the only ones who know. I believe that Carson is very much in love with both of them, and they with him. He sleeps with each of them individually, and more often than not, they all share a huge Cal-King bed that Carson and Marie have in their master bedroom. Carson says the sex is amazing - and yeah, sometimes more than he can handle.

At first, Marie was worried that Dad and I knew, so to ease things up a bit, I told her about Carson and I, explaining that it had to be between the two of us, because my father still doesn't know about it. After that, her attitude and demeanor changed drastically, because the fear of judgement was gone. Over time, we have become amazing friends. Knowing about our past, Anna and Marie actually asked me once, if I'd like to join them with Carson - promising to keep it all hush-hush. I declined, explaining that the two of them together was testing him, and that if I joined in, it may in fact kill the guy. Seconds later, we fell into hysterical laughter.

The part Dad likes about it all is that he's gonna be a grandfather. We recently found out that both the girls are pregnant. When Carson and Marie made the decision the become parents, Anna asked if she too, could carry Carson's child. Once Marie gave her approval, my crazy-ass brother smiled, and said 'absolutely'!

The girls will give birth about ninety days apart. Carson says he is accepting responsibility for both kids, and that his name will be on both birth certificates, as the father.

My kinky-ass brother. Who knew?

So... Dad and I.

We have accepted that we can never be a public couple - at least not in our daily lives. To the people who know us, we are - and will always be - father and daughter.

However, when we travel, anything goes. And yes, I love the looks we get when we are out together. It's very freeing and satisfying to be able to hold his hand, and even kiss him, in public. The fact that we already share a last name, added to the wedding ring I wear, makes everyone we encounter believe we are married.

We've also become somewhat sexually adventurous. I mean hell, realistically speaking, what have we got to lose by experimenting? Although most will consider it a bit kinky, my father finds sharing me to be very erotic. We've had any number of threesomes (m/f/m) and once, even did a wife-swapping thing with another couple.

At the height of our craziness, while we were in Sweden, he brought two really good-looking guys back to our hotel suite, and made up some totally ridiculous story about losing a big hand in a poker game, and promising them the use his wife as payment for the debt. He sat in a chair and watched as I paid the debt.

Getting fucked by two men, while my father sat and watched, was totally fucking incredible, and by far, the most erotic thing I have ever done.

So, about a month ago, out of the blue, my father asked me about children - if I was interested in having any. I just gave him a 'non-committal' shrug in response. He started to explain that if I did want to be a mother, there were ways of accomplishing it - without him being involved. Artificial insemination, sperm donors, and a few other ideas. He even suggested doing it the natural way with someone I trusted, with the understanding the father wouldn't be involved after the fact.

Nope. Not happening.

For just a brief moment, I did actually consider asking Carson to father a child for me, but knew that would only serve to complicate everyone's existence.

We let the conversation rest, and I started doing lots of research - well as much as I could. Because society sees incest as one of those 'you should be killed for doing it' kind of things, there is limited info about children born from it. And what there is, tends to lean toward 'you'll definitely have totally screwed up kids, so don't do it!'

My father suggested genetic testing if I was considering allowing him to father my children, and once I agreed, we did it. Although I expected a negative response, and arbitrary judgement based on the fact we didn't hide that we are father and daughter and were considering conceiving a child, the geneticist we talked to was actually quite fair, seemed non-judgmental, and most importantly, was totally honest.

Based on the statistics we were given about our genetic makeup, and the possible complications of creating a child, I decided against getting pregnant.

Sure, there are those who chance it, and with some help from God, sneak a normal, healthy child into the world. But the 25% chance that it will go the other way, is more than enough to deter me. Besides, after thinking about it, I know that I honestly don't want the task of explaining to a kid how his or her grandfather, is also his or her father.

I made a 'conscious adult decision' (go figure?) to be in this situation, but if I bring a child into the world, he or she won't have the luxury of choice. My father has accepted my decision to not have kids.

Instead, I'm going to spend as much time as possible, being the selfish little father-fucking slut that I am, allowing him to use me for whatever entertains him, and makes me feel good.

When the time comes, if necessary, I will answer to God - not the government or 'moral police' - for my life choices.

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