Forgive Us Our Tresspasses

Throughout the week, Abigail felt that her relationship with Mary had regressed to a state even worse than before. Now, instead of just her looking away whenever their eyes met, they both did. She felt that Mary had started to make steps to ensure they were never alone. She started giving her and Jocosa, and another girl who wanted to write lessons in both groups and one on one sessions. But there was always some excuse whenever Abigail wanted a personal lesson.

Their interactions were kept brief when they happened upon one another in the hallways. Mary always had something else to take care of, something to rush to, to get away from Abigail. And Abigail could only interpret these changes as regret and shame.

She wasn't angry with Mary, but disappointed in herself. She had to have done something to make Mary feel this way. Maybe she just wasn't as competent as Mary had hoped. But whatever the reason was, Abigail was sure that Mary was one hundred percent right. Though that didn't stop it from hurting.

And so here she was, standing outside of Mary's domicile, gathering up all her courage to knock on the door.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?" She muttered under her breath as she stared at the door. She took a deep breath. And then continued pacing.

"Be strong and courageous and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished." She muttered even quieter. But it helped her find that bit of courage. God wasn't going to open the door for her. But he would be with her when she did. Abigail knocked.

"Come in." The muffled voice of the woman she loved came from the wood.

Abigail opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her. As she closed the door, she could hear the small gasp Mary let out.

"W-what can I do for you, Abigail?" Another pang of sadness. Since that night, she hadn't been called 'Abi' once.

Abigail didn't answer just yet. Keeping her head down, she took a seat in the chair placed in front of the desk. She didn't speak. Couldn't speak. God's will had pushed her into the room, but she'd lost it now that she was there. She fumbled with her robe, grabbing handfuls of it in her lap. There were so many things to tell her. So many things to ask her. Too many things she felt about her. Abigail began to cry.

As her eyes blurred and large tears met her hands in her lap, Abigail heard Mary rise from her chair.

"Abi, what's wrong?" The moniker caused Abigail to look up. The concern behind the words seemed real. The worry on her face as she rounded the table seemed real. Everything seemed real. But if that was the case, then... then...

"Why?" The words came out in a whimper that escaped Abigail's lips.

Mary knelt down and embraced Abigail. Her body moved on its own, leaning into the hug and giving into her feelings. For several minutes Mary held Abigail, letting her sob into her arms. Eventually, Abigail stopped crying. Mary gave it another minute before she asked,

"Why what?"

"Why have you... you... forsaken me?" She felt Mary's body stiffen.

The only response she got was a sudden and rough kiss from the woman. At first Abigail was surprised, but she quickly melted into it. Mary's arms shifted on her back. One hand shafted downward, holding the small of her back and pulling them closer together. Her hands went from comforting to possessive. All of the feelings from that night came back to Abigail. When their lips parted, both were panting slightly.

"Abi, I have never, and will never forsake you."

"Then why-" Mary wasn't done.

"Abi, listen to me." Mary's hands firmly held the sids of Abigail's face. Abigail's mind sharpened. Mary sounded deathly serious. "I'm never going to give you up."

A kiss.

"I will never let you down."

A kiss.

"I'll never run around or desert you."

A kiss.

"I never again want to make you cry, or say goodbye."

A longer kiss.

"And I'll never tell you a lie or hurt you."

The longest kiss yet.

"I'm so sorry, Abi." Abigail was stunned to say the least. She could tell that Mary meant every word of what she had said, but if that was the case, then-

"Why?"

"Abi. You mean so much to me. That night we shared together was the best night of my life. You, and everything about you, are perfect."

"Then wh-"

"I want you, Abi. I want you the same way I had you that night. Every night I dream of reliving those moments with you. Every time I see you, I can barely contain myself. When our eyes meet, the fire within me roars." Abigail could feel the truth in the word on her skin. As Mary spoke, seemingly unconsciously, her hands has begun exploring Abigail's body. One of them threatened to slip underneath her robe.

"But I can't give into these feelings, Abi. When I look at you, I feel every sin at once. I want to waste days away simply being by your side. A righteous fury burns in me whenever I see you with another. My loins ache when I see your form." Mary seemed to struggle with how to convey her monumental feelings. "In only a minor exaggeration Abi, I wish to devour you whenever I lay my eyes on you. But I can't. I-" It was Abigail's turn to interrupt her.

Abigail stopped her speech with a deep kiss of her own, trying to translate all of her happiness into the small gesture. Mary hadn't been avoiding her out of shame. She had been avoiding her out of worry. She still cared. She had always cared. Abigail's breath was soft and ragged when she ended the kiss, feeling much like she had during that fateful night.

"Then do it." She saw Mary's eyebrows raise and what little restraint she had left lifting. "Devour me. Kiss me. Hug me. Lay with me whenever you please. In the classroom. In the hallway. Even in the middle of a lesson, I will always be ready to accept you. I am yours, Mary. Yours to use whenever and however you wish. In this world, there is only me and you." In her effort to convey her feelings, she defaulted to the one thing she was good at, though it was slightly modified.

Abigail 22:36

"I shall love you, Mary, my Prioress with all my heart, with all my soul, and with all my mind."

Mary didn't miss a beat. As she closed the distance for another kiss and her hand finally snaked its way under Abigail's robe, she whispered upon Abigail's lips.

"Amen."

Dare I say this is my best work yet.

As usual, comment about what you liked and what you think could have been done better.