Found in the Woods

We were really getting to know each other and talked about important things like family size, when we wanted children, and how we each squeezed the toothpaste tube differently. She was a middle of the tube person, while I rolled from the bottom.

The other big advantage of waiting a few months was that I had been planning to build a new house on my land, and now it was clear the type of house we needed. We were fortunate to find a contractor who had a design, and could clear the land and pour the foundation before winter weather set in. Once done, my cabin could be rented to vacationers, and we could decide about Sandy's place later.

Sandy and I spent Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, picking all the rings. It felt real once I slipped the one-carat emerald-cut beauty onto her finger. We tested Bill Clinton's limits that night.

*****

The contractor finished the foundation and concrete pad several weeks later, and I was at the site looking it over when a strange car came up my drive. I walked back to the house to see who it was, and nearly fell over in shock.

"Mom?"

"Oh, Lord. Ryan!"

I ran to her, and we shared one heck of a bear hug.

"Geez! It's so good to see you," I said as my voice broke with emotion.

"Ryan," I heard from behind me as Sandy approached.

"Sandy," I said with delight. "This is my mother-in-law, Nancy Withers. Mom, this is Sandy, my fiancée."

Without hesitation, they embraced each other like family.

"Sandy. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I'm so glad Ryan has found someone special."

"It's good to meet you, Mrs. Withers. Ryan has told me so many great things about you."

"Oh, he's a real sweetheart. Please call me Nancy, or Mom, if you prefer, since that's what Ryan calls me."

"It was an easy choice for me," I said with a smile. "I certainly love you as if you were my mom."

"See," she said. "He's always been so sweet, and I couldn't love him more if he were my son."

"Mom, I feel guilty not calling you, but I hoped you'd understand. How'd you find me?"

"You didn't make it easy now, did you?"

"Sorry. I just... I couldn't..."

"Don't fret about it. I completely understand. It was a difficult time for all of us, but especially for you."

"I'm really glad you found me. How is..."

"Maggie?"

"I'm sorry. I almost don't want to know."

"Let's sit on the porch," she said. "I have some things we need to discuss."

"Sure. Who's in the car with you? She can join us, too."

"Oh, that's a friend of mine, Donna. She'll join us shortly. She has something she needs to take care of first."

Sandy fetched us all cups of coffee and joined us.

"What's up, Mom? Is everything all right?"

She continued to force a smile, but tears betrayed her true emotions.

"There's no easy way to say it. Maggie... is only d-days away from when she'll lose to cancer. She's in h-hospice."

Her words were like a punch in the gut. Tears caught me by surprise as they flowed freely. Sandy left and came back with tissues for the three of us. I embraced her through a few moments of raw emotion. She gathered her strength and continued.

"There's much more you need to know."

"Take your time," I said.

"Okay, well, we've learned a lot over the past few years. Back when it was happening, you and I talked about how different she behaved just before all those terrible things she did. After you left, she really went wild. She was out with all kinds of men every night. It was a miracle she managed to keep her job. At first she was mad at you, but then something happened and she finally realized what we already knew. The fault was entirely hers, and she didn't blame you for disappearing. In fact, she confessed that you deserved someone much better than her.

"About a year after the whole thing blew up with you two, she started getting really bad headaches. That's when they found the tumor in her brain. They did chemo and all, but it spread throughout her body."

"I'm so sorry, Mom. I... I wish I was there for you both. This had to be a big burden on you."

"A mother does what she has to. There's a few more things I need to say. First, I had a long talk with the neurologist, and he said the way she acted was most likely caused by the tumor affecting the part of the brain that controls libido and restraint. I talked with Maggie, and she told me it was like having the worst itch that you couldn't scratch. The consequences didn't even register as a concern for her."

I was stunned. "You mean, all that stuff she did, the out-of-control sex drive, was because of a tumor?"

"That's what the doctor said."

I stood and turned away. I was losing my emotions and couldn't face anybody. I felt Sandy behind me when she put her hands around my waist.

"Ryan, what? Are you okay?"

"My God, Sandy. She was sick! In sickness and in health. I swore."

"You couldn't have known," she said.

"She's right," Mom added. "Ryan, no one blames you for what you did. Any man would do the same."

"No," I said tersely. "I should have stayed. Worked to figure it out. You and Maggie had to go through this alone."

Mom walked around and grabbed both of my cheeks, and sternly looked into my eyes. "Don't you dare think like that! You're a good man caught in strange circumstances you couldn't have anticipated. Heck, we didn't know the cause for a long time. You're a saint in my eyes, Son, but even a saint wouldn't have weathered that storm any better."

I decided not to disagree with her since it was an argument I wouldn't win. That didn't change how I felt.

"Ryan, there's one more thing I need to tell you. Please, sit."

I forced a little smile to ease her mind. "I hope this news is a little better."

"It depends on how you look at it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mentioned something happened that stopped her from having the desires that cost your marriage. Actually, it was two things. The doctor said the tumor probably grew to a point where it actually killed her libido."

"They can do that?"

"Even these smart doctors don't understand everything about the brain."

"What was the other thing?"

"Ryan, when you left, Maggie was pregnant."

"What?"

"She had a little girl about eight months later. Her name is Emma."

"Who... I mean... Do you know who...?"

"Maggie is pretty sure it's your baby, based on the timing."

I looked at Sandy, who suddenly had more emotions running across her face than I could read.

"Mom, did you start looking for me then? I would have wanted to know and, you know, I would have stepped up."

"No. Maggie wasn't absolutely sure, and she didn't want to burden you with being tied to a wife that was unfaithful. At that point she still didn't know about the tumor. We didn't know that until Emma was nine months old. I started looking for you about two months ago when I knew she wasn't..."

She started crying and I held her while Sandy stood behind her and comforted her. Like an arrow piercing me, I suddenly knew what she was going to ask.

"Mom, you want me to take the baby, don't you?"

"She looked up at me with tears flowing. "Maggie and I hope you'll consider it. I didn't know you were in a relationship, so it's something Sandy should have a say in."

I looked at Sandy. With tears in her eyes, she lightly nodded her consent. But I wasn't going to commit without talking to her privately.

"We'll talk about it, Mom."

"Do you want to meet Emma? She's in the car with Donna."

"Yes. Yes, please," I answered eagerly.

Mom signaled to her friend, who carefully took the most gorgeous little girl out of her car seat, and carried her to the porch. Stirred from a nap, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked up with a sweet smile. Sandy immediately went into mother mode and fussed over her. She was shy for about thirty seconds before she gave in to Sandy's efforts and giggled as only little girls can do.

She brought her to me and the shyness returned. "Put her down and let her walk to me," Mom said with a smile.

I was in love again.

"Ryan," Mom said. "I need to get back to Maggie. Like I said, any day now she'll be leaving us. Can you come see her, even if you can't take Emma?"

Again, I looked at Sandy who was nodding as inconspicuously as possible. "We can come now. We'll follow you and that will give us time to talk. We'll have an answer when we arrive."

"Just so you know, when you see her, Maggie may not even be mentally aware. If she is, please, give her peace now that you know the whole story."

"I will. Even if she isn't aware, I'll do what I can."

They left and we promised to be along a few minutes behind them. Mom asked if we'd make it about half an hour so they had time to get Maggie ready.

Their car wasn't even out of sight when Sandy grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye. "Ryan, you know what we have to do. In fact, you know what we want to do."

"Dear God, I love you."

"What if she's not actually yours?"

"It doesn't matter, although I'd agree with Maggie that the timing sounds about right. She's my daughter and I don't need DNA to tell me that."

"I'm so glad I fell in love with you."

"Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you."

"I guess our family planning has had a bit of a change. A happy change, but for a sad reason. You still love Maggie, don't you?"

"Yeah. I never fully stopped. But, now knowing the truth, yes, I do."

"You be sure to tell her. It's all right. I can't possibly be upset or jealous. Okay?"

"Yes, Dear."

*****

The drive to Mom's was somewhat solemn. Sandy and I knew we had a lot to discuss. Getting married with a child already with us opened up a whole new set of questions and issues, but they'd be discussed in due time. For now, I was steeling myself for an emotional time and Sandy recognized it.

We planned to stay with Mom and Maggie per Mom's invitation, so we packed enough for five days. We were only a few miles away when my stomach turned against me and I had to pull over. Once cookies were tossed, Sandy drove the rest of the way while I tried to calm my nerves.

Mom came out to greet us as we pulled up. "Are you two okay?" she asked with concern showing on her face.

"Ryan is struggling a bit."

"I'll be okay," I said unconvincingly.

"Don't worry. Remember, it's just Maggie. She's alert, but she'll need pain medication soon. The nurse will guide you."

Sandy stayed with Emma while Mom and I went in. It pained my heart to see the vital, energetic woman I loved looking weak and frail. Her rosy cheeks and slightly tanned complexion was gone, and were replaced with a gray pallor that broadcast her condition. As sick as she was, her eyes sparkled when she saw me.

"Ryan?"

"Hi, sweetie."

"I'm so happy you came. I almost lost hope of seeing you again."

I took her hand and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm sorry I didn't know about your struggles. I would have..."

"Shush. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's me who should be..."

I had to stop her. "Now you shush, baby. Mom explained everything and you have nothing to apologize for. We can't change the past, so let's not waste time dwelling on it. I'm here, and I love you."

My tears flowed freely, and I cared not to stop them.

"I've wanted to hear you say that for so long."

"Maggie," Mom said to change the subject, "Ryan and his fiancée want Emma with them, so you needn't worry anymore."

A few remaining tears trickled down Maggie's cheeks. "Thank you. You've answered my prayers."

"She's a beautiful little girl, like her mother. Sandy and I love her already."

"Can I meet Sandy?"

Mom went to get her so she could stay with Emma. The little girl couldn't understand what was happening with her mommy. She did visit Maggie, but not during medical treatments or when emotions ran high.

Sandy came in and went right to Maggie and gave her a careful hug. "Hi, Maggie."

Maggie's face lit up with a smile. "Sandy. It's so good to meet you. Mom told me Ryan picked a good woman."

"Well, Ryan is a good man."

"The best. And, God bless you for being willing to take Emma."

"He's already blessed us with the privilege of raising her, and she's gonna know you and how much you loved her."

"Mr. Cunningham," the nurse interrupted, "it's time for her medication."

Sandy took Maggie's hand. "We'll talk later. You rest for now."

"Thank you," Maggie said while fighting to keep her eyes open. "Ryan, can you stay another minute?"

"Sure."

Sandy left and Maggie looked seriously into my eyes. "I'm almost certain Emma is your..."

"It doesn't matter, baby. She's ours, and I love her."

"But..."

"Baby, I'll get DNA just to be sure we have her family health history, but the outcome doesn't matter."

"Will you remember me...?"

"As my first love. You are a loving and caring wife and partner whose illness startled our world. And as the mother of our beautiful child. All is well with us, Maggie, and you can rest peacefully knowing you are and were loved."

She smiled as I kissed her, then she drifted off to sleep. I stayed and just held her hand and dwelled on cherished memories. As for the pain? That was not deserved by either of us, and I vowed never to let it haunt me again.

*****

Mom shook me awake from a fitful sleep at 3:57 AM. I'll never forget that exact time. Her eyes told me everything, so words weren't necessary. Maggie was gone. We held each other and cried for a beautiful soul taken so early in life.

She looked at me with a crooked, tearful smile. "I think she held on as long as she could to see you. Thank you for giving her the peace she needed to let go."

"She's out of pain now, Mom."

Her passing wasn't a surprise, so all the details were in place ahead of time for a memorial service. Well-wishers joined us at Mom's place afterwards, and a lot of healing with old friends took place over cold cuts and warm embraces.

Once the visitors left, Sandy and I helped Mom clean up while Emma slept. She was a little angel through all the raw emotion in the house, but she slept soundly now having spent all her energy on a busy day.

Sandy and I planned to stay with Mom a few more days so we could plan our next steps. The next morning, I started breakfast before the household awoke. Just as the bacon started to sizzle, I felt Sandy's arms gather me in from behind.

"Good morning, my sweet man. How are you holding up?"

"I'm good."

"I thought we should talk before Mom and Emma wake up. Should we ask her today?"

"Yeah. I'm not sure if she'll go for it. After all, we're not really blood related."

"True, but she's Emma's maternal grandmother."

"Well, let's finish breakfast and the three of us can talk while Emma plays."

We heard Emma talking happily to herself in her crib. Sandy went to get her just as Mom came from her room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Bacon and coffee. Great wake up call, Ryan!"

"Good morning. Have a seat and I'll serve up breakfast."

We talked about breakfast, the weather, and other light topics. That's all we could handle first thing in the morning after the intensity of the previous week.

Emma sat in her high chair neatly eating her scrambled eggs and merrily chatting to herself. Sandy looked at her and I could see the love in her eyes. "Mom," she asked, "I don't think I've ever heard her cry. Is she always this happy?"

"Pretty much. She'll have her moments, but she's a very content baby."

I started cleaning up the dishes and suggested, "After we get dressed, can we all gather in the living room? Before we move forward, I think we should talk some things over."

"Right you are," Mom said. "Give me fifteen minutes."

Mom and Sandy came down just as I finished breakfast cleanup. Sandy had Emma cleaned up, changed, and dressed. She put Emma on the floor, then joined her to play with her while the three of us talked. Mom and I sat by the fireplace taking in the beautiful sight of mother and daughter at play.

Mom looked at Sandy and Emma with a smile. "You fill that momma role so well, honey. I think you've captured a little girl's heart."

"It's only fair," Sandy replied. "She's had mine since the moment I first saw her."

"I can see that. Emma is going to thrive with the two of you. I'm sure of it. So," Mom said, turning her attention towards me, "where do we start?"

"You've been Emma's rock since the day she was born. She needs her grandma, don't you think?"

"Yes, I do. Her grandma needs her, too."

"Exactly," I said. "Now, how do we make that happen?"

"I don't know," She replied. "You live a few hours away, which isn't terrible, but I'm not sure I can make that drive very often, especially at night. It's just, other than some friends at church, without Maggie and Emma, I'm..."

"Pretty much alone, right?"

"Yeah," she said as her lips quivered.

"Mom, the day my mother died, remember you said that you'd be there for me. That I was your son, regardless of who gave birth to me. Don't get me wrong. I loved my mother, but we weren't really close. You've been like the mom I've always wanted, and I hope you know how much I love you. That promise you made goes both directions. Sandy and I will always be there for you."

"Ryan speaks for us both," Sandy added. "We've only known each other a few weeks, but I think you're amazing. My mom was gone when I was young, and I don't really remember her. I'm hoping you'll adopt me, too," she said with a giggle.

"Come here and give your new mom a hug, daughter."

I let them embrace and share the moment. Mom broke the ice before I could get to it. "So, I'm guessing you two have some ideas."

"Sandy and I came up with the same idea, and we hope you'll like it. Would you consider moving in with us?"

Mom smiled and her lips quivered with emotion. "Are you sure? How would that work?"

"The new house will be done in about three months. Until it's done, we can figure things out. Plus, Sandy and I still have a wedding to plan. So, we can use the two houses for now and we'll figure out sleeping arrangements. Once the new house is done, you can either live with us there in your own suite, or we can refurbish my cabin into a mother-in-law cottage where you can have more privacy and your own place. If that's what you want, you'll only be a hundred feet from our place. Either way, I'm hoping we'll spend dinner together every evening, and enjoy each other as one big, happy family. What do you think?"

"I'm... I'm overcome. If this is what you want, then, yes. I... I can't believe how God has blessed me with two such wonderful people and the most precious little granddaughter."

"Good," I said. "I think we need to seal it with a family hug."

And hug, we did. Love flowed between us like we were immersed in a warm pool of water. For the first time in a long time, all was well with our world.

*****

Epilogue

Sandy, Emma, and I left for home several days later with a rental truck full of Emma's gear, and as much of Mom's belongings as we could gather. Once Mom moved in with us, she would take over Sandy's cabin while Sandy and Emma took the second bedroom in my house. It would take her several weeks to arrange to sell Mom's house and pack her personal belongings. Sandy and I still needed to work but being freelance allowed us to flex our time such that Emma always had the undivided attention of at least one of us. Being a content little soul, it didn't take long for Emma to bond with us.

Mom moved into Sandy's cabin three weeks later. Her house went on the market that weekend, and sold within two days well above asking price. She hit the post-COVID market at the perfect time.

Sandy and I were married about a month later. Emma was Sandy's maid of honor, and Mom stood with me as my best woman. Twenty-some people from our new church attended, and we invited them all to a nearby Brazilian steakhouse for the reception.