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"Of course, I'll be supervising that task." Sarah chimed in.
"Do you understand loser?" Jacky asked.
The three girls stared through his soul; Lucas had no way out but to agree. He nodded.
"Great! Your first day of house service starts tomorrow!" Jacqueline grinned.
To be continued...
- COMMENTS
Anonymous11 months agoWhat is up with all femdom story with evil woman.
Well after he filed an assault report on his roommate and removes the cheap plastic cages he will easily be able to get out of the lease
jennifurzoealmost 2 years agoOh how i would just love to be in his predicament/situation, chastised and three Rulers, Leaders, Owners and being their slave.
dmallordalmost 2 years agoOuch ... This isn't my 'cup of tea' reading. However, once your background character descriptions were out of the way, you did a pretty good job of carrying the storyline. The new vocabulary, for me, was quite different; I'm probably, almost, four times your age from what I could surmise.
There are a number of articles in the 'how to' area about writing that might benefit you. Particularly in letting the storyline help readers to grasp the develop of your characters by their actions, rather than slamming a reader up front with those particulars. I have a 'how to article' with a few suggestions as well. If I had just given up, and not pushed through that character 'chunked section', I would have missed the actual storyline. I was at the give up and go elsewhere point, when you began the story. But since, I was following your link in the Forum area, I hung in there.
I read one of the other comments, "Ngl pretty cringe. Even that usage of chad is kinda dated. Idk man felt pretty not poggers." I have no idea what this means. Glad the Internet didn't infect your storyline with all those quirky text messaging short cuts! ;-)
Best of luck with your stories and writing development.
