Fuckin Zombies

It started with a dare. Don't they all?

All characters are living and legal adults, unless dead, then it really doesn't matter, does it?

*

"You ever thought about fucking a Zombie?"

I was sitting in a bar, one of the few left open on the south side of town. Four of my friends from college were with me and only one of them was a real friend. The place was half full but considering the condition of the town at that point, in the wake of the epidemic, things were looking up. We were sitting in a corner booth, just shootin the shit as it were. I stopped the glass of beer halfway to my mouth and looked at Allen then at Jeff, wondering what the hell he had gotten me into and when the punchline going to be delivered.

It turned out that the question was the punchline.

"What kind of question is that....are you serious?"

"Deadly." Allen answered without a hint of a smile.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because we can."

"Why not fuck a living girl?"

"Fair enough question," he answered with a straight face. "Because we can't," he answered.

"Look at us, Jeff said. "We are geeks. We are losers. We are at the bottom of the sexual food chain, in fact, we are under that and waiting for scraps from the table."

"What's your point?"

"Point is, that the only way we are ever going to get to try out any of those cool porn positions is by fucking a girl and since we have struck out with the living ones, we are going to have to play with the dead ones."

"You are serious," I asked.

Rob who I had met only once before, kind of a chunky guy and talked with a slight lisp, swallowed his beer and looked at Allen, "My hand recently took out a restraining order against me," he said. I'm getting desperate."

"That's rape and..."

"It's sick and twisted and bordering on Necrophilia but these girls are between living and dead. In my book, mostly dead, so it's still a challenge."

I looked at the four of them.

"You're guys are fucking serious?"

I looked around at the others in the group of which there were two others. "What about these guys?"

"We have all done it before."

"Why me?" I asked.

"We are shorthanded,"

"Seriously horny, no pussy, but looking for a challenge. In my book, this is the ultimate challenge," Allen smiled. "So the payoff is a little dead pussy."

"This trip will be our forth," Paul said. He was a tall guy, a math major and a bookworm.

"Seriously?" I looked at the others. Of course, they were all looking at me.

"Because of all the sexual assaults' laws and accusations that are part of even a simple date these days, most of us with any intellect, stay at home and surf the net, and keep a jar of Vaseline within reach. You almost have to have legal papers to go out on a date. Even Tinder requires six forms of ID and proof of your financial stability, not to mention a DNA swab."

"True," Jeff said. "A friend of ours had asked a girl he had known for years out on a date. Nothing serious. Just a night of fun. They had dinner, watched a movie and then he took her back to her dorm. A brief make out session and she said no and he left. Next day he had a swat team outside his door and is now looking at five to seven in prison for unlawful sexual assault against a minor."

"A minor?"

"The girl had fake ID and looked a lot older than she claimed."

"Why?"

"She apparently decided he was a looser."

"What about rape?"

"Who....a zombie?" Rob asked who was sitting beside Allen. "They are dead. Zombies are dead. They aren't legal anything."

"And of course the dead have no legal rights."

"Right, you're getting it now." He smiled back at me.

"Of course, they are dead," Allen said, as if fucking a zombie was just as easy as getting a real date.

"And so why do you think I would be interested?"

"You're like us. Never date. Never had a girlfriend. Still live at home in your mid twenties."

"So that make me desperate enough to stick my dick into a corpse?"

"Could be worse. You could end up like Taylor who is probably having a nightly thing with Bubba, his new cellmate."

"And all because the girl didn't get the experience she wanted out of the date," Jeff chimed in.

"Was it worth it? Probably not. Then this pandemic thing happened and by shear coincidence, we are right on the other side of a mountain that has a coed Ed college in Cottonwood, that town that had been locked down for the last eight months."

"I heard about that place," I admitted. "It's a college with a huge nursing program."

"And you know that most nurses are hot looking babes."

West Virginia, for reasons unknown to this day, was the first state infected. It was the first to fall to the undead and was sealed off in large sections. One of those sections was on the other side of the river from our college. Then, as the virus spread quickly across the rest of the country, our little college town was basically forgotten. An electrified fence was put up and alarms installed and other precautions were put in place, Cottonwood College was forgotten, for the most part.

Now here we are, eight months later with still no end in sight.

"No one goes in and so far....no one has come out," Jeff added in a low voice. "The military had put up a double layered electrified fence around the entire town. We discovered that the power was shut off six months ago because the Government was too busy trying to stop it in Texas and probably everywhere else."

"How many times have you guys been in there?"

"Four so far," Jeff said. "Some of the pussy in there is in pretty good shape."

"The undead are easier and never accuse and never say no. Simple as that. And if you didn't mind the smell, open sores, the bugs, and planned ahead, you could have any woman you wanted."

"But they are dead."

"Jesus dude, there's a morgue on the other side of town."

"Not as much fun," Paul said. He had remained silent for the most part and I wondered if he was still as unsure as I was."

"Not exactly dead," Rob said from the other side of the table. "Just someone you are probably not going to take home to mother."

That brought a laugh to everyone, and took the tension down a little.

"You guys are fucking serious?"

"Dead serious," Allen said with a wicked grin, "All it takes is one bite, one minor scratch to become one of them, I said remembering what I head heard on the news.

"We are taking precautions," Paul chimed in. He raised his glass and took another drink.

"So I guess blowjobs are out of the question?"

That's a no brainer," Allen said looking at me over his beer. So, you in?"

It was explained to me that it had started out as a dare a couple of months ago, at the height of the infectious spread that was moving rapidly across the state of Virginia and quickly was a game that the group had invented just months after the first wave of infections that ultimately covered the lower half of the east coast.

The three had cornered me in the hallway between classes.

"We have a problem and a proposition."

"We lost one of our guys and need a replacement."

"Replacement for what?"

"Come on over to Paddy's bar after work and we'll fill you in," Allen slapped me on the back.

At the bar they ran it by me again and after a few too many drinks, fucking a Zombie didn't seem like such an unreasonable thing. By the time I had enough to drink, fucking zombies seemed fairly reasonable and something to do on Halloween night. And they had a target.

"Her name is Dawn Abrahms," Allen said. "She is, or used to be, the hottest piece of ass in town."

"Isn't that rape?" I asked again, just before the few functioning brain cells and the rest of my common sense went to sleep.

She's dead. Rob said. "At best, its necrophilia. Desecration of a corpse. Happens in morgues all the time."

"She's dead or at least, I'm sure that if she's over there, she's dead. At worst, it's sick, twisted and perverted as hell, but since she's become one of them, she's fair game at the very least, and, it's just good ol boy, Virginia fun."

'She' was Dawn Abrahms, former UPS driver who vanished during a route little more than eight months ago. During the year she had taken over the old route, she had become a prime dating target for most of the men in town. She had a reputation for leaving everyone who tried, in the dust.

Dawn had been possibly the hottest woman we had ever seen and the efforts to come onto her when she was still alive prove fruitless. She was a hot brunette, with smooth, shoulder length hair, barely five two with large and perfectly formed breasts and the best looking ass around. Her face would stick in you mind for days and every guy in town had tried to get her in bed. She didn't frequent bars or dance discoes and any other places where a woman of her caliber would be in high demand. She went home and stayed there as far as I knew. God knows, what a complete waste to have a body like that and do nothing but stay home.

Allen had tried a number of times but then, the opportunities to meet her were scarce.

"So, how do you know she's in Cottonwood?" I asked.

"One of the guys who used to go over the fence to grab anything valuable when the town and university was sealed off from the rest of the world, found her truck in some yard."

"It was hers?"

"UPS isn't denying or conforming anything, and say they have all their trucks accounted for."

"And you think she's become like the rest of them?"

"We are pretty sure that if that is her truck, then she is like everyone else there."

"And your point?" Rob said.

"Well, she's dead."

"And if she is dead, she's one of the hottest looking corpses in the state," Allen said. "Dead or alive, if I can get my cock in that pussy, I can die a happy man."

"You guys are unreal," I said. And you just might get your wish, about dying I mean."

"And so is this game we play."

"Besides it's fun," Jeff said, as if the issue were put to rest.

"Fucking a corpse is fun?"

"Long as she's reasonably attractive," Jeff said. "Dawn Abrahams is what I would call, unreasonably attractive."

"How attractive can you be after you're dead?"

"Fair question. Would you fuck an ugly woman if she's the only one left in town and you are desperate?"

"I might consider it."

"It's a challenge, I guess." Paul admitted.

The four of them then opened up their iPhones and started showing me videos that they had taken on their last trip roughly three weeks before.

Now, even after all the talk, the shit I was seeing on their phones was unreal, possibly a bad snuff film. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would have thought they were feeding me a load of shit.....even after seven beers.

As I looked at the videos, I was sure I had seen this bad horror movie sometime before. Three guys gangraping what looked like a corpse on a table in an abandoned restaurant. But the corpse was moving and screeching, head twisting, mouth open emitting hellish sounds. At some point during the gangbang, the woman's head fell off and rolled under the table. That didn't seem to stop them.

I wondered at what point the priest was going to make an appearance with cross in hand and banish everyone to hell.

And one after the other would shoot their loads inside her and step away to make room for the next. Incredibly, each one of them spent at least fifteen minutes or more fucking the shit out of the creature. Incredibly, I knew this woman, I mean before her head fell off. She was a well respected journalism professor at the college who everyone claimed had left the country before it all started. She was also extremely attractive....before her head fell off.

"How in the hell did you get them on the table without getting bitten or scratched?" I asked. The color of my face must have given them some idea how twisted this was sounding to me.

"We try to be selective about who we are looking for. But like in a bar, just before closing time, you take home what's left."

"That's why they invented funeral homes," I said.

"It's too dangerous to go in and just search around because usually you find more than you bargained for," Jeff said. "You have to pick your target ahead of time.

"That's how you found the headless bimbo in that last video.

"She was intact when we found her," Paul said. "Just got a little too rough and she had been in bad shape before we found her," Paul admitted.

"We found her in a newspaper article about a new teacher at the college. Really a nice looking woman....when she was alive.

"How many times have you guys gone in there to do this?"

"Four," Allen answered. The last time was really wicked and we had two of them at the same time."

"Jesus!" He passed the phone to me across the table and I watched the video for several minutes, looking up at him in amazement.

"Jesus, I thought you guys were just fucking with me. This is real."

"One of the better coed colleges in the state, Rob said. "A huge nursing program and that means lot's of good looking women, many of who are probably still in there."

I watched more of the video, the guys around me having drinks were seemingly fucking the daylights out of a corpse on a table in the large cafeteria at the abandon college.

"That is fucking gross," I said, barely able to watch the last one. But I did anyway.

"That is some fucked up shit." I said pushing the phone back to Paul.

"It was getting good up to the point where her leg came off in the middle of Paul's turn at her.

"Yeah, bummer that her leg fell off just as I was ready to cum. Shit happens."

"And why do you need me?"

"We need at least five guys?"

"Safety in numbers Greg added.

"Five, at least," Allen said. I looked at the others. "More is better but, then there are so many problems with more guys involved."

"Sometimes we come back out with nothing, sometimes it's just to dangerous."

"And you want me to go with you?"

It's safer but it gets tricky at times," Jeff said.

"Jesus," I muttered.

"We do take precautions," Paul said.

"Like what, guns?"

"They are dead, Allen said. "Guns aren't going to do a thing but put another hole in them," He leaned across the table and pulled something long and shiny from his pocket.

"We do have a secret weapon." He handed me a small long metal tube with a hole at each end.

"Is this a dog whistle?" I asked picking it up off the table.

"Yep," he said with a smile.

"What the hell is this going to do for protection?"

"Have you ever heard the term arrested decay?" Rob asked.

"Arrested Decay?"

"Like in some ghost towns, the buildings are left as they were when the town was abandoned. No effort is made to repair or prop them up. They fall down when the supports rot away."

"It's the same with these zombies. They are technically dead, but whatever is moving them around and making them attack and fight, until the physical bodies just rot and eventually fall apart on their own. The bones are all that's left and bones without flesh, don't move."

"So in essence, it's a flesh invasive parasite," I said.

"By George, I think he's got it," Jeff laughed in a fake British accent.

"These dog whistles, we discovered by accident, have such a high pitched frequency that it stops them in their tracks, paralyzes them." Jeff added. "I don't know how because these things over there don't seem to hear or speak."

"We used it the last time we were there," Paul added.

"So you have someone for this next trip already picked out?" A little voice inside my head was screaming warnings right up to the point where I said...

"I'm in."

"Dawn Abrahms," Allen said with a wistful smile.

Now, we were on the other side of the fence looking in. The area had been sealed off by the military and double fenced and electrified. That is up until five months ago when the epidemic mutated and started moving faster through the population.

Cottonwood was pretty much forgotten, and the power shut off.

"We don't really know what shuts them down but they freeze up and you can literally pick them up and move them..."

"Or tie them to a table or chair to fuck them," Allen said, with a smile, as we followed the overgrown trail after crawling through the hole in the fence.

I looked at the whistle Allen gave me. Probably cost two dollars.

"There have been idiots that have gotten through the fence to steal shit, like cars and computers and anything of value who probably wish they had one of these, he continued. Many of those that tried that are still in here somewhere."

We hiked along a trail that was mostly overgrown until we reached the main road into Cottonwood. It looked like a scene out of a horror movie. Cars were stopped and doors open on and off the two lane road. Bodies, or what was left of them were everywhere, Just parts, Arms, legs heads, some in the cars and some on the road.

"How the hell did you guys find out about this?"

"We were in the Petco in town in the middle of the day and were playing around with it on the way out and were blocked by two of these things inside the store. Jeff had it in his hand and for some reason, put in his mouth and blew on it. just blew on the thing and the two zombies froze in in their tracks and fell on the floor, stiff as a board, until we stepped over them and left the store."

"We have tried it on a few others since then, all with the same effect," Jeff said.

"Lucky break for you guys." I took the whistle Allen handed me.

"We have one for everyone," Allen said. "That's yours now. Don't ever fucking loose it!"

A section had been torn down and the power had been shut off long ago. A sign still attached to the fence we had passed through earlier was somewhat comical.

ENTER AT YOU OWN RISK AND PLEASE CARRY OUT WHAT YOU BROUGHT IN.

Through the woods and then we came back on the main road the led into town, which was a nightmare. We had all seen the pictures over the last eight months. There were abandon cars everywhere stopped on the street doors open Pieces of bodies everywhere, some of the parts were still shaking and moving, at least those parts that still had flesh on them. In the front seat of one car a head that still had some flesh was trying to move it's mouth. The lower half a some guy was still in the front seat of his car while the upper half was trying to crawl across the street.

Finding Dawn Abrahams was nothing short of sheer luck. We found the UPS truck they told me about.

It had it's front grill wrapped around the only tree in the yard of a house that looked empty and forgotten. Half the roof had caved in and windows were broken throughout. The place looked deserted. I looked inside the drivers side of the truck and and saw that there was old bloodstains on the seat and more on the dirty floor. In addition there were what looked like paw prints in the blood. Unopened packages of all sizes were in the truck and others scattered across the yard.

"There was a dog in here at some point right after she hit the tree." I looked at the floor and saw the paw prints in the blood on the floor of the drivers area.

"Maybe she swerved to miss the dog and hit the tree."

"Then it ran into the cab and bit her?"

Where did all this blood come from? " I asked. "She didn't hit the tree that hard."

"Whatever happened to her caused her too loose a lot of blood."

It was a surreal scene, something out of a bad horror movie. I was beginning to regret coming out here now.

"If she lost that much blood and was bitten, then it's reasonable that she made it to the house to get some help before she changed," Allen speculated.

"Or she's not in there at all. Maybe dragged off and eaten by other zombies Jeff said.

Allen stopped and turned to him.

"Don't be the black cloud on my hopes and dreams of a really great fuck."

I watched him turn toward the house and wondered who was the sicker of the two. The zombies, or us?