All Comments on 'Gang Aft Agley Ch. 04'

Unfortunately my experience with women (in all aspects of life) is they become engrossed in the emotional and literally stop thinking when it comes to relationships. Flowering up the situation into something it's not, etc. Nancy certainly didn't seem to want to face the fact that she was free pussy for James and barely more.

Frankly it's a dumb-ass idea to introduce 3rd parties into what's intrinsictly a 2-party relationship and VERY rarely does it ever end in anything but tears. Of the swingers I've known over the years, only one stayed married beyond a year after swinging started and they were roommates more then lovers.

Well written, if a bit literary for my tastes.

I called it last chapter. I knew it would be her that would put the final nail in the coffin to end their marriage. Before I go off all I'm going to say is that Nancy had a good thing and she blew it. I could go on but I'm going to stop. The tale was extremely well written and an excellent read.

Ending as expected, your female characters are all c**ts and bitches that suffer no consequences.....

that is how divorces go in fairy land but not in the real world so even if it was well written it still was a fairy tale.

This was quality writing with a somewhat stilted, antiseptic ending. There was a sneaking sympathy for Nancy because her husband's penchant for reciting Robert Burns poetry bordered on fetish. I respected the story but had a hard time relating to either of the two principal characters.

Robert wasn't a beta male yet definitely not an alpha. It was patently obvious Nancy was a ditz, thinking with her cunt & he kept giving her choices as if she were an equal, which she wasn't. Robert was able to play & then stop, if for no other reason for the sake of their daughter.

One character that interests me from a morbid POV was James. Apparently he's well versed in Kamasutra, still single at 50 and apparently had no compunctions about breaking up a family. He was aware that Nancy was under ultimatums to not repeat their quality time and induced her trespass those restrictions.

Was James in love or a sociopath? Frankly Nancy didn't strike me as being that special outside of an aesthetic level. Maybe James just was a proponent of Latin American poetry & had to garner more convert for Neruda or Paz.

"Oh amor/ oh rayo loco / amenaza purpúrea ..."

Be that as it may, one cant help but respect the time and trouble this story must have taken to construct. Eventually I wearied a tad under the barrage of sonnets but appreciated the novelty factor.

There was a cringe factor but Robert finally woke up smelled the latte espresso. & didn't martyr his pride walking down the primrose path of long-term cuckoldry. I thank the author for this story & inducing me reopen a few poetry books ( my secret shame).

Shit

I once knew a young lady that fit the role of Nancy... I never figured her life style...Many years later she still unable to commit to a relationship... In my mind she floated about in her mind... Thus to me Just like this Nancy...

This turned into another fairly ordinary story about a narcissistic individual who was unable to subordinate the gratification of her own desires to her obligations to others. Nothing new or particularly interesting here.

Technically, it was well written, but there wasn't any particular spark to it.

B&B,

Good job. Unusual, but a good job, or, maybe becasue it was unusual.

Matt Moreau

Well written but sadly predictable. The authors female characters seem to never have any redeeming qualities. They think with what is between their legs. Not my cup of tea but a good story non the less

Well written, but oh so sad. I have known of several similar situations in real life. Why do so many women seem to think that they can have someone on the side and their husbands should be OK with it, allow it to go on, and that there should be no consequences?

What a pleasant surprise that ended up being. Well written and finally some believable emotional reactions in the narrative. Your best story so far by a wide margin.

isn't it amazing to find a porn story in a fifties' issue of the saturday evening post?

Worst piece of crap I ever tried to read. Sorry but it was boring and predictable.

hit the nail on the head. This epic had all the sensuality of a Dear Abby column. Like a with it couple had just discovered Playboy Forum and decided to be daring. It is impossible to make much of anything of the husband obsessed with Robert Burns. But wife Nancy demonstrated real life passion, possibly without the author fully understanding what she was doing to HIM instead of the ditzy husband. Nancy is the only one in this story that offers a real life experience for the reader to ponder, and I found myself liking her a hell of a lot.

I tried to keep reading but I just couldn't. Perhaps it was me but despite the poetry and the extensive character development I found the story curiously bloodless. The passion and emotional throes were there I suppose. But seemed to be muted. Perhaps by that wedding veil.

I enjoyed your work very much. I look foward to more.

Sadly this is all too real. Couples do fall out of love with each other and once that love and lust is lost it's best to move on and find someone that they do love and lust after.

BobNBobbi is a mentally retarded turd and a serious asshole. Have you ever read any of his comments?

Jesus folks get a clue

The trope of the wife who thinks she can have a marriage and lovers also is a recurring motif in LW. It should be. The problem has infinite capacity for exploration ranging from abject cuckoldry to kill them all berserker rages and everything in between. It's difficult to know which character in these little soap operas are the most to be pitied or censured: the erring wife or the too passive husband?

Literary allusions aside, the writing was workmanlike but so bloodless as to lack any real emotional involvement for the reader. Just droned on & on. She fucked, then she fucked again, then again...and again. He eventually decided enough was too much and filed for divorce.

Wives who think they can get away with lovers. Fascinating subject with endless permutations. Some of the best and some of the worst stories on LW take this up again and again. This story manages to make the subject borderline boring.

A little pregnant. A lying slut is just that. A turd in pretty paper and bows.

I feel you left the issue of James dangling in the wind. Being a middle aged man myself I know he couldn't be satisfied with just a monthly roll in the hay with Nancy. What is he supposed to do the rest of the time. Either Nancy gets her head out of her ass or he gets another lover for those other 29 days. You didn't do right by him.

But I agree somewhat bloodless. Rob realizes that Nancy will never really give James up,that even though she finally resigns it is too late,she has made clear she cannot respect his needs.James is a piece of shit,he knows nancy is married but instead of doing what marjorie did,he did what most guys would do,and feed his dick.Nancy deserves scorn but he is as much the slut,he is a predator.

To the author,the ending is too clean,too neat and too much is left open to me.Is nancy.having sex with james once a month.supposed to indicate she was doing penance? More importantly,they break up,no emotions,no crying,these arent brits,they are supposed to have emotions...and the daughter is going to take it that easily? Ok,robert sort of ends up with marjorie,but it is almost cold and clinical.

It needs more depth,the end is an outsiders description,not their feelings.

Ironically,this story would prob work as a reconciliation story.In a sense rob knows what nancy is feeling,he felt the same about marjorie,though he didnt act on it.On the other hand rob could realize that if marjorie hadnt cut him off,he could have done the same thing....rob and nancy end up with diminished lives,neither of them finds real love,and irl they eventually would realize that I think.Your writing is great,and my comments are there to try and help your writing.

But I agree somewhat bloodless. Rob realizes that Nancy will never really give James up,that even though she finally resigns it is too late,she has made clear she cannot respect his needs.James is a piece of shit,he knows nancy is married but instead of doing what marjorie did,he did what most guys would do,and feed his dick.Nancy deserves scorn but he is as much the slut,he is a predator.

To the author,the ending is too clean,too neat and too much is left open to me.Is nancy.having sex with james once a month.supposed to indicate she was doing penance? More importantly,they break up,no emotions,no crying,these arent brits,they are supposed to have emotions...and the daughter is going to take it that easily? Ok,robert sort of ends up with marjorie,but it is almost cold and clinical.

It needs more depth,the end is an outsiders description,not their feelings.

Ironically,this story would prob work as a reconciliation story.In a sense rob knows what nancy is feeling,he felt the same about marjorie,though he didnt act on it.On the other hand rob could realize that if marjorie hadnt cut him off,he could have done the same thing....rob and nancy end up with diminished lives,neither of them finds real love,and irl they eventually would realize that I think.Your writing is great,and my comments are there to try and help your writing.

she is a two faced mentally ill woman, and storiess of the mentally ill is not erotic

Some one wants you to do right by JAMES? He's an intentional interloper. I am sure he has other Nancys on the line. Nancy is selfish through and through. I'm not big on retribution, but she got off easy. Leezabad probably 'took it so well' because she saw it all coming. Kids are very aware at that age. Robert is just a guy trying to salvage something here. You can love some one and not want to hurt them even if the hurt you. I'm sure he also didn't want to make it worse for his daughter. Just sad all the way around.

BnB,

As others have said, this is a well written story, very well written. It was painful to watch the train wreck that was obviously coming. But, I like others found this story devoid of emotion. He says he is going to see a lawyer, then there is an epilog. She screws James, he goes for Marjorie, and the poor child is never mentioned.

Here is the part that bothered me and that was the Grand Mother's were part of this story and then they weren't. They would of, could of, and probably did try to moderate this outcome and yet they were jettisoned in the story. You had the ability to make this a gut wrenching story with your story line, your ability to write, but you shied away from the true pain or introspection that they events you set up would have engendered in at least two of the main characters (the daughter-Dad, Dad - Mom, James-Mom) apparently everyone shrugged and moved on...broken.

Oh! and the use of poetry to express the feelings? Brilliant!!!

Crummy ending. 2*'s

both brain-dead, manipulative sluts and wimpy males. This is nothing new if one ever wastes the time to read this author's garbage. The only new twist here was the use of poetic literary devices. On the bright side, this dog shit is always consistent.

BnB,

Carefully written with your usual skill, but a sad tale....Not sure why she never saw that the marriage was crashing and burning after Christmas Eve, was she delusional or just so caught up in her selfish desires that she totally missed Robert's warnings. In any case while I feel bad about the ending, i would have felt much worse if he had accepted her proposal for a monthly dalliance with James.

BNB painted the foolish, narcissistic wife and long suffering husband quite well. Story felt like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Can't really say that it was erotic - just very sad and depressing.

Great ending. 5*'s

Quite a good story; interesting and well presented, but with a somewhat weak ending. Try using "compliment" instead of "complement" when necessary.

the ending is waaaaaaay to weak and silly The Husband ha been through heel and the readers knows it but we see no expression of this from the pussy author

Instead the author ends it by reading some dumb fuck poem..

laughable

First, I want to thank all of you who read this series and especially those who took time to write out your impressions. I have not published anything here on Lit since 2011 and the last few things I have published have been rewrites or clean up of old work. I know that a few readers don't really care for my type of story so they haven't missed my hiatus.

On my use of Burns poetry: I limited the poems and songs I used to half a dozen to avoid overwhelming everyone. Burns' complete catelog is over 700 poems and songs some of them quite bawdy. I thought the ones I selected, To A Mouse for the title, Ae Fond Kiss and Red, Red Rose for their expression of Love and their obscure dichotomy and Auld Lang Syne for tradition were sufficient. Some readers seemed not to care for the poetry while others appreciated it. I thought sprinkling verses through the story was a good way to carry the plot forward.

The ending seemed to strike readers as abrupt and incomplete. In my mind the story ends when Robert tells Nancy he has an appointment with a lawyer the next afternoon. It seems quite obvious that means he is seeking a divorce. Robert told Nancy not to go to the last meeting and what the consequences would be. She went and Robert took steps to execute those consequences. The entire epilogue could just as easily have been omitted in my mind. It is meant only to indicate an amicable divorce which, by the way, is the most common sort of divorce among people that I know.

I was most surprised that only one reader mentioned Nancy's veil. I was pointed about her declaration and giving veil to Robert at their wedding ceremony as a symbol of future homesty. All through this last chapter Nancy makes small decisions that lead away from honesty and with each dcision I made some reference to her veil. I am surprised more people didn't comment.

Gang Aft Agley is not a story of excitement. It is a tale of life. I am sure many could have skipped Chapter Two completely. Much of married like is like chapter two, furnishings, a few parties, making babies and bringing those babies to adulthood. That's what we do for the most part. This was a tale of what can go wrong when adults attempt to vary normal relations and in this case one of the parties went overboard.

I thought the poetry and the Robbie Burns connection was what set the story apart -very well handled. It made the story intensely romantic (and sadder in the end). Also the "veil" reference - it may be a good thing that comments didn't reference it. It wouldn't do to push it into the reader's face, but it clearly tracks the loss of respect and trust. The middle chapters might have done with a bit of paring down.

Very good story - I enjoyed it.

a sad and pathetic story. a school teacher and mother of a young girl behaving in this manner, or her father for that matter, is truly despicable. My understanding of Americans is that they are simple, stupid people. tales like this, although fiction, bears this out.

but a tad too long. The rough shape of the end was pretty obvious from very early on and it took a long time to arrive. This did not, in my view add to tension at all. in fact I found myself skipping bits of text. Shame really as, edited down by about a third, it might have been a truly great story.

One minor point: someone commented that amicable divorce is the norm. Really? I'm sure I wouldn't have been amicable, and my acquaintances who have suffered divorce certainly haven't been.

You can dress of rose petals shit, but shit is shit

BnB,

I truly enjoyed the story. Since I happen to enjoy poetry although Burns can be tough to read, it was dead on in this case. I thought Ch. 04 was exceptionally well done. People often think that they can "bind" societies "rules" to their benefit with no harm, never realizing many of these "rules" are hard won realizations of how people and nature really is. Your story aptly illustrates, that even the most open-minded of people can fall prey to their own delusions.

Thanks for a good story.

You've got to be joking...all "Americans are simple and stupid people." What kind of idiotic statement is that, genius? Fuck you. USA SoCal USMC

Thank you for writing this. I enjoy and am grateful for your writing talents .

I am disappointed at all of the losers, who hide behind their anonymity, even if they have a literotica name, and behave like perfect assholes and bullies insulting talented authors like yourselves. They would never say something like that in public but since they remain unknown, their true characters come out.

I am pleased that you are strong enough to ignore their tasteless and rude comments. Looking forward to your next story.

  I like stories where both sides of a conflict are represented, were both sides have some of the blame. In this case neither Robert nor Nancy were at first completely honest about the extent of thier summer affairs. Both were dishonest and hid things at. njlauren seemed to be the only person commenting on the story that saw both sides. Just like she mentioned the only reason Robert's affair ended was because Majorie refused to continue to see Robert. By the way guys Majorie despite being a person with a cunt and despite all the endorphines flowing was the one that ended it. My point is that if Robert would have had a willing partner would he have been any more faithful than Nancy? Probably not.

    They both agreed to open up their marriage and they both had heartache ending their respective affairs. The difference was Nancy had to end hers herself while Robert's was ended for him. In the end Nancy did end it and she was honest with Robert about what she had done. It just seems to me that given the unique circumstances of their situation, it wasn't just a simple case of a cheating spouse, that if their marriage had been worth anything at all that it would have been worth trying to save. I guess the question is did Robert really want to save his marriage or did he just want to end up with Majorie without having to take any of the blame?

   Just wanted to add that I liked this story just not the ending so much. It seems to me that Robert was the one who was ultimately the most unfaithful. From watching the excitement of the TV show they got sucked into trying something risky without really considering the consequences. And when the consequences came and Nancy made mistakes Robert was way to quick to judge and give up on the marriage. After all he didn't 100 percent stick to to all the rules either.

what a couple of fucking idiots. no one is remotely likable.

Well written story about silly people and find myself agreeing with previous anonymous comment.

Just the idea of allowing each other to fuck others with their spouse in full support is stupid. Her ass should have been set on the street after the first time with James. She got what she deserved and only hope James was worth it. I hope of course the author and his wife also live inserting others into their marriage. That would explain his stupid ideas in this direction.

annony is just an old ugly fat fag!!!

I am too jealous to share my wife, and a 3 hour drive is not so long for me. But then I'm not them. Forget the shoulda woulda, coulda, James did not continue the affair for another 5 months, Nancy did. Nancy knew what would happen, but continued anyway. Justice!

Lordslamsawg and njlauran expressed my thoughts too. B&b is a Supurb writer.

Chilley

You defend the husband for not being long term cuckold though he allowed her blatant adultery for at least a year

Any spouse that agrees to a summer of infidelity does not love the spouse and certainly was aware the one would engage in a much longer affair that ultimately ends the marriage.

But female influence is obvious

BOBBI HAS BEEN BOBBING ON MORE THAN BOB'S KNOB

About writing with realistic flavor is only realistically absurd

She is a cheating cunt. End of story.

Agree w anonymous!

In my opinion he is much better than Burns. Of course English is a foreign language to the Scots. Save the Burns parts, I liked your story. Good work!

Nancy was a selfish slut. Robert should have punished James in a very Scottish way. He also should reduce Nancy’s influence in his daughter’s life. She is not a role model for a young girl. Weak ending.

Robert should have kept the veil and handed to Nancy as he exited the marriage.

Part 5 A highlanders revenge on the English knave James...my Scot blood demands it!!!

BobNBoobi writes garbage as twisted as he is.

No clue what shit goes on in a mentally retarded writers mind!

A bi should never attempt LW stories…most of the time their minds are all confused…all neurone firing and misfiring…most can’t understand what it is to be a man and what it is to be a female! Both perspectives suck! So B&B stick to cross dressing and cocksucking …don’t write!

You are terrific as a writer. There is more to just writing about events in the story, it matters more how you write and describe them. The daughter asking dad to recite poems that inadvertently reflected the situation, like mom's cheating.. Reading that was hot.

Truth be told i thought and was hoping wife would try to have James in their marriage bed given than Marjorie spent the whole summer there.

Anyhow, sad that the story ended like that, I was hoping for a reconciliation.

1 star - this story ended the same way the rest of his stories have gone so far.

I usually read only the first few pagagraphs and the last two.

With 40 stories of his here and see no indication he plans to change his style.

I just do not see a reason to try and read any more.

So a couple of idiots decide to have an open marriage then proceed to break every rule that make open marriages work. I’m giving this crap one star because he should have divorced the skank as soon as she asked for permission to continue her affair. If your browsing comments first give this one a pass.