All Comments on 'Gangbang Party'

Great lead in. Can’t wait for the rest!

Too slow. Prologue complete waste of time: Imagine if Goodfellas started with a paragraph each describing De Niro's, Liotta's and Pesci's looks, hight body type etc. And then went on to give a brief synopsis of the upcoming events that unfold for their characters and other happenings in the story?

Boring compared to:

The actual opening with the visceral, in your face stabbing of a guy not quite dead in the trunk of a Caddie by 3 gangsters in the middle of nowhere.

Why do so many writers here feel it's necessary to give the "let me tell you a little about us/myself/characters" or "give you a little history", blah, blah, blah. Good story telling all this description and nuance comes out as story progresses. Ugh. I've made this comment about 50 times now.

Thanks for the feedback. If you made the same comment 50 times, sounds like you could have saved yourself the effort and written your own story. Also, the Goodfellas comparison - apart from the obvious fact that film is a totally different and visual medium, Goodfellas uses narration constantly, which undermines your point about descriptive text. I write the story with the visual in my head. At the very least I have to describe what the characters look to me - young and sexy - so that you know that they don't look like Joe Pesci, Robert Deniro etc. Anyways, thanks for reading and commenting.

La historia no es muy buena, y el inicio es lento. Además, si estás tan interesado en dar una descripción de los personajes, existen mejores maneras que empezar como lo hiciste. Una forma más sutil.

Outside of a few little words being misspelled, I loved the story lines. I really love the Gang Bang and how it led into black submissive. I actually love to actually see more content like this. This would be a great storyline for a black gay porn video. This was creative and well thought out. I couldn’t wait to see what was to happen next.