All Comments on 'Genie in a Bottle Ch. 03: A Friendly Wager'

Too short and too rushed. Going from the pool to being wet and then pulled into a car with no shoes or anything is not even believable.

Very short and I would also note that no woman or girl who has yet to experience a big cock is ever going to hop right on, or take it all in one go. They will want to desperately feel it inside them, but it will intimidate and frighten them at least a little and the first time they take it, will require patience, as their pussy get's stretched wider open than it ever has.

Ya

Great job, thanks for sharing your work.

Okay, he is going to be getting revenge on that stupid bully, ... but I'm still worried about what little time there is left for making that third wish, that two weeks must be about up, ... Can Jason make a really excellent 3rd wish? or will Murphy's Law do him in, ... ;-) ttfn

oh ya of cause. Don't ever think about building yourself up, training selfdefense or shoot where it belongs to. Never you dare to think about your future or (financial) wellbeing. Go to school and you got an car - so why did he needet to take different ways home to escape the bysicle gang? Where are they now? Oh, just disappeared. Ok. What was that about the first forgotten request to help tutoring math? Ah, don't mind. Whats the geanie doing? Genie-business, anyway. Last wish: his dick being gay. While Jason keeps looking and attracting all the beautyful gils, his dick only gets hard at men's asses. HA. So now, be a good toyboy and get yourself an beer. If you splurge it over your head, it can help to use ur brain. There are many genie stories and there is an vast potential in wich direction an charakter development can go. If there is an mind behind. And that seemes to be the problem of this story: i am not native to that language and so i don't care that much about gramar and mistakes. But if an story did not show any storyline, forethaught, intelligence or creativity, it will go to waste. This story seems like the dream of 14's to 16's jears old schoolboys mind. If you are interested in writing stories learn how to develop and build up an storyline, some exitement and intelligence into the story. Something tricky, lay some false lines and surprise the reader later. Build some fun, some black humor and sarcasm into some story characters, someone who's unpredictable. Build some up and down's into the story - it will pay off with an much richer and entertaining depht to the story. Go on, most importand: you did it. You wrote and published the story.