Getting By

Barbara turned back to Jerrod and said, "No, I couldn't Jer. I don't want to mess up mom's night any worse than I do already. But thank you for asking." She turned and started down the hallway toward her bedroom.

When she got even with her mother Hope reached out and touched her forearm. She said, "Barbara Honey. I don't mind at all. I think it would be fun if we all went out together. I can spend some time with Jerrod later if he wants to. Now hurry up and get changed."

"No Mom. I couldn't."

"Nonsense. Jerrod's right. It would be great if you went with us. Now hurry up."

That evening the three had more fun than Jerrod and Hope usually did when they were out with each other. They had a wonderful meal at a nice French restaurant Jerrod and Hope liked then went dancing at an upscale night club. Jerrod danced with both ladies until he was so tired he could hardly move. When he was dancing with Hope Barbara sat at the table alone and watched them. Hope saw her turn down offers to dance from several nice looking men. Hope, on the other hand took many of those offers while Jerrod and Barbara danced with each other.

Hope watched the two young people while they watched each other. They were really enjoying their night out and so was Hope.

Over the course of the next three months it became routine for Barbara to join Hope and Jerrod when they went out. When Jerrod was with them Barbara kept her eyes on him and hung on his every word. If Hope would offer Jerrod a drink or another helping of food when they ate together in her home Barbara always jumped to get it for Jerrod.

Hope noticed she and Jerrod were not having sex as often as they had when he first became her lover. When they did have sex she felt a hesitation from Jerrod as if his entire mind and body were not in it with her.

One Sunday morning after Jerrod left their house she wandered into the living room still in her robe. She and Jerrod had had one of their better recent sessions the night before. She had screamed out her pleasure until her throat was raw. She saw Barbara sitting on the front porch staring out across the street.

Hope got herself a cup of coffee and went out to sit with Barbara. She saw Barbara had been crying and asked, "What's the matter Honey?"

"Momma I have to leave. I can't take this any longer. I can't stand to hear you screaming at night with Jerrod. It's just killing me."

Hope felt her heart break at her daughter's words and the look of anguish on her face. She rose from her chair and moved to the swing beside Barbara. She wrapped her daughter in her arms and kissed her gently on the cheek.

"I'm sorry Honey. I suspected but I didn't realize until just now. You love him don't you?"

Barbara sniffled and nodded her head. "Yes. I can't take it anymore. I thought I could be ok with it but I just can't. I love you Momma and want you to be happy. I'll move back to the city I suppose but I have to get away. I'm sorry."

"Don't be child. We can't help who we love. Do me a favor though please? Don't do anything for a couple of weeks. Maybe we can work something out."

"No Momma. I don't want to share him with you if that's what you mean. I know that's selfish but I want a man all my own. I want a husband I can take care of and who will take care of me. I want a father for my children."

"Honey please, just wait a couple of weeks for me. None of us love Jarrod that way. You deserve a chance at him if you want it. How does he feel about this though? You've not talked to him have you? Or have you talked and he doesn't feel that way about you? Is that it Honey? He doesn't love you?"

"No Mom. I haven't told him and we haven't talked. I didn't want to do anything that would hurt you or him so I decided I needed to leave."

That afternoon Hope called Frances and Edwina and asked them to meet her at Doris's old house. Frances was the executor of the estate so they had access whenever she wanted to enter the building. When they were all gathered around with their coffee and cookies Hope said, "Girls we have a problem. There's no easy way to say this so I'll just blurt it out. Barbara is in love with Jerrod and unless I miss my guess he is in love with her. We haven't been together as much lately as we had before and he has been more withdrawn than he used to be. I think he's feeling guilty about Barbara."

Frances looked at Edwina and smiled. She raised her eyebrows and turned back to Hope. "You too," she said. "I thought it was me. He has been withdrawn and we haven't done much loving for several weeks either. What are we going to do about it?"

Edwina looked guilty and said, "I quit coming on to him almost two months ago. He just didn't seem interested and the last time or two we just went through the motions I guess is the way to say it. I've been thinking about going back to the dances again but I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

The three women talked for some time longer then they went to Hope's house. Barbara was in her bedroom packing when the three friends found her. "Barbara what are you doing," Hope asked. "I thought you promised to stay a while longer while we tried to work things out."

"It's no use Mom. I just can't. I have to go. I'm sorry."

Hope looked at her friends and took Barbara's hand. She pulled her daughter into the living room and pushed her into a chair. The three older women took seats where they could see Barbara and Hope began talking. "Barbara we all three knew our time with Jerrod would have to end sometime. We have felt like there was something wrong now for several weeks. I'm ashamed to say I suspected you and Jerrod were in love but I never had the courage to ask either of you. I have watched the two of you ever since the night you found him in Doris's bed and I knew. I just couldn't say anything.

"Barbara Honey we're all more than willing to quit seeing Jerrod if you and he want to be together. Frances and Edwina haven't been with him now for a couple of months and last night was the first time we did anything like that in over a month. I don't think he would have done it then but I pushed it I needed it so badly."

Barbara looked at her mother and the tears rolled silently down her cheeks. "Mom you deserve to be happy too. I can't let you do it. I have to go."

"Shoot child. I'm happy and I can be happy without Jerrod. Honey I don't love the boy that way. There was never any chance we would be a permanent couple or get married. We were just using each other. If there is any chance in the world that he and you could fall in love...NO, I already know you have fallen in love with each other. If there is any chance in the world that the two of you would marry there is no way I will keep seeing him like that. Frances and Edwina agree with me.

We've decided to only see Jerrod as a group from now on. The three of us are going to start attending the dances again and see if we can find a man of our own more nearly our ages. You on the other hand are going to try to keep seeing Jerrod until you find out if he is really the one you hope he is."

Hope looked over at Barbara and continued, "I'm afraid you have your work cut out for you though Honey. Our Jerrod has a lot of hurt and mistrust bottled up inside him. He has had three women he was very serious about that have dumped him in his life. We all watched him for several months after he moved home and he has never had a relationship with any woman younger than I am. He thinks he attracts the wrong type of woman and that young women in general are just selfish cheating sluts. I suppose in a way what we have been doing with him just reinforces that belief. You have a little hope because of the way he has met you and because you have the three of us in your corner. It's not going to be easy though.

"Now, are you going to woman up, put your big girl panties on and try to win your man or are you going to run off like a spoiled brat?"

Barbara smiled through her tears and said, "I want to try and catch me a good man this time Momma." She smiled and continued, "I think I might have better luck though if I left the big girl panties off though don't you?"

The four women laughed and Edwina said, "You know that might be a pretty good idea at that Barb. Doris told me the first night she and Jerrod were intimate she wore a short skirt and no panties to help him put her sink into the new counter top. That's why she always said she had him fix her plumbing to get her. She said even as old and ugly as her cooter was he was hard in no time from staring at it."

The four women made plans that afternoon and put them into play beginning the next day. From then on the only one of the four Jerrod was alone with was Barbara. Sometimes it was only Barbara and Hope with him at their house but there were always at least two of them with him. The first Friday evening after the older ladies agreed to give Jerrod up he arrived at Hope's house for their normal date.

When Jerrod arrived Hope and Barbara were sitting in the living room dressed for the night. Once again Barbara let him into the house. His face and eyes lit up when he saw her. She led him to a chair and he could not keep his eyes off her during the walk and after he was seated. Hope looked at the two and smiled. She put a sorrowful expression on her face and said, "Jerrod I'm afraid I can't go with you and Barbara tonight. I wasn't thinking and I promised the girls I would go to the dance with them. You know it's only for age 50 and over so you two can't get in. Would you mind terribly if just the two of you went out for supper tonight?"

Jerrod looked over at Barbara. She looked, well he didn't know how she looked other than wonderful. He didn't even look at Hope when he said, "I'm sorry Hope but no, I wouldn't mind taking Barbara at all. That is if she wants to go alone with me." Barbara's face broke out in an incandescent smile.

Hope smiled almost a big and said, "Great. Why don't you two kids go on then? I'll drive over to Francine's house and we'll leave from there."

That evening was the best one Jerrod or Barbara could remember having for several years. They spent the entire time staring into each other's eyes. They took every opportunity to touch the other. They danced until the club closed at 0200. Normally when Hope was with him they left about 2300 or 2330.

When they arrived back at Hope's house Jerrod followed Barbara in as normal. This time though he stood there unsure of what to do. Normally when they got back from dining and dancing the three of them walked straight toward the hallway and bedrooms. He usually spent the night with Hope and Barbara of course was alone in her room. This time both he and Barbara were nervous with each other. Finally she smiled and said, "Would you come sit with me for a while please Jerrod?"

Jerrod sighed and seemed to perk up. They went into the living room and both sat on the couch. Jerrod was surprised when Barbara sat beside him. She took off her shoes and put her feet on the coffee table then leaned back in the couch. "That was a lot of fun Jerrod. Thank you for taking me. I had more fun tonight than I have had in several months."

"Yeah, I did too. Sure seemed strange without your mother though. I hope she's doing all right."

Barbara felt a little shot of sorrow dart through her heart. She told herself to push the fear out and seize the moment. She sat up slightly and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. When Jerrod turned slightly to her she gave him another on the lips. He turned his head back to the front and laid it back on the couch.

"I'm sure tired tonight," Jerrod said. "I don't think you let me sit out but one or two dances."

"I'm sorry Jerrod. I didn't mean to work you too hard. I was just having so much fun I almost couldn't stop. Forgive me?"

The two friends sat and visited several minutes longer. Both were yawning and so very tired. Jerrod didn't know what to do. He didn't feel right just going into Hope's room and going to bed and he for sure didn't want to go sleep with Barbara—well, actually, he admitted to himself, he would like to sleep with her but she hadn't offered and he didn't think it would be right for him to do that also. Finally Jerrod stood and said, "I guess I'd better go home Barb. It's getting real late and we need to get to sleep."

Barbara almost cried. She had been giving what she thought were subtle hints for Jerrod to take her to bed and he had either ignored them or totally missed them. Or worse, he didn't want to take her to bed. She thought about just asking him to come to bed with her but just couldn't make herself do that. Finally she said, "Do you have to Jerrod? You know you can stay here."

"Yeah, I better. It just don't feel right just climbing into your mother's bed without her. What if she brings someone else home or something? That would be really awkward." He looked dejected and continued, "I guess I just better get along home. See ya."

Over the course of the next several weeks the ladies kept pushing Barbara and Jerrod together. They tried to not make it look like they were doing that but it was pretty obvious to him that something was up. When they all cut him off sexually and began going back to the Senior Center dances he thought he got the hint. They had decided he was too young for them and were trying to get rid of him. He quit going to their homes and started staying home with his mother all the time after work. He took up drinking more. He never got really drunk but he would have three or four beers almost every night after work. He convinced himself there was something about him that women just did not want on a long term basis. He wondered over and over what was wrong with him.

Kelly had not been in on the plans to get him with Barbara. All she knew was what she could see. Jerrod was all at once alone and staying home. He had been dumped by his "Lady Friends". To her surprise she became angry at the ladies. She hated to see her son sad and felt like they had just used him for their satisfaction until they got tired of him then threw him away.

One day while Jerrod was working Kelly decided to give those bitches a piece of her mind. Since he spent the majority of his time with Hope she decided to start there. Kelly arrived at Hope's house about ten in the morning and rang the bell. Barbara opened the door and saw Kelly there. "Oh, Mrs. Patrick. Come in please. It's a surprise to see you. Please have a seat. What can I do for you?"

"Actually dear I'm here to see your mother. I need to talk to her as soon as I can please."

"Oh, no. Is Jerrod OK. He didn't get hurt did he?"

Kelly looked at Barbara in surprise then decided her worry was because Jerrod was her mother's boyfriend and she didn't want her mother to be hurt. "No dear Jerrod isn't injured. At least he isn't injured physically. I'm not too sure about his heart or mentally though."

About that time Hope came into the room. Kelly greeted her frostily and both Hope and Barbara were surprised. The few times in the past when the three met Kelly was very pleasant to talk with. When Kelly asked to speak to Hope privately Hope said, "I would really rather have Barbara here too Mrs. Patrick. I suspect this is about Jerrod and I think she should be here to hear this too."

"OK if that's what you want. I really wanted to spare you some embarrassment but I'm willing to air the dirty linen in front of your daughter if I have to. You know I never approved of what you and Jerrod were doing but he convinced me it wasn't hurting anyone and to let things be. Well I did that but I just can't be quiet any longer. He has been moping around the house now for three weeks after you three refused to keep seeing him. I know he is too young for you and you are probably either with or are looking for men more nearly your age. I told him when all this started he needed to find someone nearer his own age. I am badly upset though at the way you handled the breakup."

Barbara sat looking sad. She was biting her lips. Hope looked at her and at Jerrod's mother. Finally she said, "I think I may have messed up Mrs. Patrick. Barbara would you please excuse Mrs. Patrick and I so we may talk privately? Mrs. Patrick would you please join me in the kitchen so we can discuss this in more detail? I suppose we do have some private things to talk about after all."

Hope explained everything about her and Jerrod's relationship. She also told what little she knew about the other three ladies and their relationships to Jerrod. Then she said, "I am beginning to think we handled the situation wrong. I was never too proud of what I was doing. I don't have anything against two people who care for each other having sex out of wedlock if they aren't in a relationship with someone else. From the first I worried about the age difference between Jerrod and myself. I also worried about our feelings for each other. I didn't love him and knew I never would. I was afraid he might fall for me and I didn't want that. I was so desperate to feel compassion and tenderness from a man I let my physical desire overrule those thoughts though. I knew neither of us was interested in the other for a spouse when our affair started. I convinced myself we could carry on as Friends with Benefits until he or I found someone who we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. Unfortunately our relationship tended to isolate us from potential life partners.

After Doris died I think we all began to rethink our relationship with Jerrod. At least that was what I suspected. Several weeks ago Barbara threatened to move out even though she still hasn't found work. I was devastated." Hope blushed then continued, "I had just had a rather good night with Jerrod and I'm afraid I was noisier than I should have been. In any event Barbara told me she just couldn't take hearing me and Jerrod any longer and she had to leave.

All at once what I had been seeing over the past weeks hit me like a freight train. Jerrod had been pulling away from me sexually. When I asked Frances and Edwina about it they said it had been several weeks since they had been intimate with him too. All three of us had to initiate the sex with Jerrod for most of our relationship with him. These last few months he had refused all of us a few times.

One day it finally hit me in the face. I had been watching Barbara and Jerrod when they were with each other. They were so attentive to the other and they looked so happy when they were together. All at once the situation hit me like a ton of bricks. My daughter and your son were in love. The girls and I were keeping them apart and I didn't like that. I began throwing them together as much as I could. The first Friday after I discovered the secret I sent them out dining and dancing by themselves. I have done that the majority of the time ever since. The only one of the four of us Jerrod has been alone with since then is Barbara. Then about three weeks ago he stopped coming around. We have called him several times and he is barely civil to us. Barbara is heartbroken. She is angry at herself for breaking me and Jerrod up and sad because he won't notice her as a woman.

We are at our wits end now about what to do to move things on. Kelly I know you have no reason to like me but please, for Jerrod if not for Barbara or myself, can you help us out with this problem?"

Kelly looked at Hope for a moment. Finally she said, "How do I know what you're saying is right? Do you have any proof he loves Barbara or she loves him?"

"No proof but if we can get them together I bet you can see it with your own eyes. What is Jerrod doing today?"

"Same as any day lately. He works then he comes into the house and has some beer, eats and goes to bed. Why?"

Could Barbara and I come over this evening to see you? I think you will see what I mean if we can. Then, if you have any idea how to help with this mess we're in I would be forever grateful."