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Frank sat in the passenger seat. James started the car, drove forward, making sure the car doors were secured, the van following. "What are you looking for to make this go away."
"Assurance Mr Ellis that it won't happen again. My career is at stake here to say nothing of charges brought against me if I fail to report correctly."
"What if I'll donate £12,000 to a charity made out to you so you can handle that part of the largess."
"Let me pull off here and stop the engine so we can discuss it further." James drove into a secluded factory, shadowed by a hedge. Stopping the car, he released a canister under his seat and within a few seconds fumes filled the car rendering both unconscious. The van pulled up next to the car as planned. The two women opened the car doors, carried Frank's body and placed it into the back of the van securing his hands and feet with plastic ties. Debra injected James with an antidote and within a few minutes he opened his eyes. "Done?" he murmured still in a daze.
"In the back tied. He'll be out for at least another two hours."
James still felt giddy but a walk around, a drink, and soon he was ready to go. He drove off, followed by the van for the next forty minutes and stopped in a secluded area to check on Frank, placing a gag and bag over his head. Against the time they arrived, he'd have awoken and they didn't want him attracting attention by shouting. Late afternoon they arrived at James' flat but couldn't carry him inside yet, so started his treatment in the back of the van, Debra administering the first sleeping draught which was guaranteed to keep him out for the next twelve hours. In the early hours of the morning they shuffled him into the flat and over the next three days his mind was slowly reduced to that of a babbling child. On the fourth day, they drove him to a nearby city park and left him. That evening saw the three of them out for a celebratory meal and when back in his flat it didn't take them long before the three were in bed together enjoying each other's bodies. The following evening the two women returned to their daily lives and James went back through the window.
John and Carolyn had been busy doing very much the same as James and released Frank after treatment with no one being the wiser and were waiting for him in the room as he came back through the window. She ran to him and couldn't stop kissing him, John staying seated with whiskey glass in his hand.
"God James, we've been so worried about you," as he explained what had happened. The following day John released the information and the whole of Frank and Sandra's illicit operation became history, and they were safe from discovery. Courtney, Debra and Jennie were anonymously contacted by the ghost detectives and told the blackmailing was at an end without them knowing what had been achieved to make it so, still under the mistaken belief Sandra was a true friend to them. Speculation about them, now firmly established as ghost detectives, filled the press: who were they, were they aliens, how did they know of future happenings? Rewards were offered, groups were formed to try and find who they were, but nothing was ever found. Still, when the world had information with the code CBGD299299 it was taken seriously.
Words 102,679 -- Author Welsh Connection This work is copyright and may no be copies with the author's consent in writing. 12.03.2019
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 5 years agoYou post 29 pages and no one is going to read it. Skim it - maybe. But this just wasn't interesting. The characters are thoroughly unlikable. They're spouting inane dialogue and doing some really stupid things - even for fiction. You have less then 6000 views. Like I said - nobody cares. Get an editor and try again. What little I read was just awful.
1 star
sbrooks103xalmost 5 years agoEither we get single-page chapter ones, or 20+ pages! I'm not gong to read 29 pages from an author I don't know!
Break it into nine or ten 3-4 page chapters. We can read chapter one, decide if we want to continue. Yes, we can make the same decision after reading 3 or 4 pages, it somehow seems different.
silentsoundabout 5 years agoYou are writing some damn interesting stuff here and I love how you are doing it.
I had to stop once it looks like everyone is going to start fucking everyone else.
Great writing but I can't enjoy something that turns my stomach.
5*
oldbearswitchabout 5 years agoIf you don't have an editor, at least get an executive editor. You are new so you probably didn't see to chapterize it or go novella.
Without your creative concept and high intellectual tone, this was a 1 or 2 star effort. With credit for them and the new author star, a four or five
I admit I skimmed it. Bad for my look, and yours too, because it means I felt no desire to chew through the bulk of it. You got enough wit that you can afford a brevity soul. And, it will make a good counter to your gluttonous eye for detail 😀
Shoot to edit your first draft by 3/4, yes try to reduce this to 7 or 8. You'll end up at half or 2/3. Or not. WTH it's your baby, raise it as you see fit. But I think this kid needed agilities and getting down to a slim 180 pounds, not bulking up to 290 in the verbose weight room.
Roytomkinsonabout 5 years agoAuthorYes the plot is complex but despite the murderers and the duality of plot and the way they solved problems, at its heart the story it is of bonded love between Carolyn and James - they share each other's bodies with other lovers but not their love, that is sacrosanct only to them.
For those of you who takes the trouble to read the story, I value your feedback whether I've achieved my objective. The reason I placed the story in the "loving wife" section, some say it is the wrong section but I'm still not sure. I have other adventures I'd like to share from the Ghost Detectives - should I post in sections or as a complete work?
