Goalposts Pt. 01

It was an awkward call because neither felt they could refer to the pair's relationship, but Lotte was heartened by their chat. Vicki's Mum sounded really nice and had almost begged her to call round, so Lotte was relieved and happy to be invited.

Later that day the doorbell rang but before she opened it, Mrs Hadley asked through the netted glass who was there. The local press had started pestering them, trying to get a story because clearly someone had already leaked the news.

"It's Lotte, Mrs Hadley. It's okay."

"Oh hello, Lotte. I'm so pleased to meet you at last after hearing so much about you. Please, please come in," Vicki's mother welcomed her and they hugged in the hallway.

"Right then, Mum. Where's the patient?" Lotte sighed, sounding resigned.

"Up the stairs, on the right. She knows you're coming, but... y'know. Well actually, between you and me, I'm really worried. I know you've not known her long, but you're the same age so maybe you can get through to her. This whole thing is re-opening a lot of painful memories for her."

"I can't begin to imagine," Lotte answered, squeezing the mother's arm. "Let me give it a try anyway. She needs to get outside, maybe come down the Club and meet her mates. I'll see if I can bang some sense into her noddle."

Lotte bounded up the stairs two at a time and immediately knocked on the bedroom door.

"Vicki? Vicki, it's Deliveroo with the razors and vodka you ordered. I'm coming in so put the gun down."

Lotte opened the door a fraction and peeked in.

"Hi Lots. S'okay, come in," Vicki spoke flatly as she looked up from her desk where she was slumped. "It's nice to see you. Thanks for coming over."

"Cool room, Vicks," said Lotte looking around, before throwing herself on the bed. "Wanna talk? Not about 'it', just anything."

"Not really. It's nice that you're here. Thank you."

"Have I got the automated Vicki reply line? That's twice you've said thanks and nice. Does it hurt too much to talk, honey?"

Vicki nodded slowly, staring without focus, her face expressionless.

"Mind if I prattle on then? You don't have to listen or say anything. I'll just talk. I'm glad I'm here too, because I love you no matter what," Lotte spoke gently, propping her head on a hand to face Vicki.

She talked for an hour, about events at the Club, about training, how Leah had pulled her Achilles and was strapped up for a month. She talked about her sisters and their boyfriends.... Just anything that occurred to her. She wasn't a therapy expert, she had no psychology skills on which to draw, she only loved Vicki and could see her pain.

She finally ran out of things to say. Throughout Vicki had avoided her eyes, sitting motionless, with her face lying on her folded arms at her desk. Lotte felt awkward at last, thinking that perhaps her efforts were ineffective. She was frustrated that she couldn't do more.

Lotte swung herself upright and reached the small distance between them to put her arm over Vicki's shoulders.

"I love you, Vicki Hadley," she said simply and pressed a kiss to her hair.

They were still for a moment, until Lotte felt a tremble in Vicki's shoulders. It happened again, then led to uncontrollable shakes, punctuated by a long sob of breath.

Vicki twisted around, throwing her arms round Lotte's head and howled. It was an agony to hear. The pain in the sound brought Lotte to tears as well.

Downstairs, Vicki's father was back from work. The two parents had been speaking in hushed tones, arguing back and forth, trying to find a solution that was out of their control.

They stopped when they held Vicki cry out and exchanged glances. Her father looked tortured, unable to know how to react.

"I think that's probably a good thing, Sam. Those are the first tears I've heard. She needs to let it out. I'm glad Lotte came round. Sometimes it's easier with friends, isn't it?"

"Has she eaten anything?" Dad asked, but his wife shook her head. "Jesus. Is there anything we haven't thought of? I just want this to be right. For it to be gone."

His wife stepped forward to hug him, "I know honey, I know. We'll get through this somehow. The three of us, like we've done before."

The door opened to the kitchen, then was pulled discretely closed again.

"Is that you, Lotte? Come in sweetheart, come in." Vicki's mum rushed over to her, seeing the tearful emotion in Lotte's face.

Lotte pulled a brave smile and gave an exhale.

"Vicki says, can she have some toast with Marmite, please Mrs Hadley? And a cup of tea with sugar like you used to do."

"You'd better have one yourself, Lotte," Sam commented, offering a hand. "I'm Vicki's Dad."

"Hi Mr Hadley. I think I've persuaded her to come for a walk with me tomorrow. There's a lot of anger in that girl and she's turning it in on herself, I think."

Vicki's Mum nodded in agreement and they thanked her again for coming over.

"There's something else though," Lotte paused to gather her thoughts.

"Vicki's talking about quitting the game altogether. I mean I'd be gutted if she did, but I can see her side of things. She's had enough fights in her life already and when the press get hold of this, who knows what they'll get up to?"

Vicki's parents exchanged looks.

"Did she mention training in physiotherapy, Lotte? It is something she's always kept in her back pocket. She made enquiries when she was still in the Junior's team, so it's not a big surprise. I think the main thing is not to jump to conclusions too early, but there's no harm in her making calls is there?" Mrs Hadley replied, looking to her husband who nodded in agreement.

"Take those up, Lotte. Before they get cold, pet," Mrs Hadley continued gently and opened the door for her.

Lotte took the snacks upstairs.

Vicki's parents forced themselves to do routine things, hoping the familiarity would bring a comfort both to them and their daughter. After half an hour, Lotte reappeared looking much brighter.

"Right Mrs Hadley, I'm off. I know you're doing the right things, both of you, Vicki told me. Honestly I think you're both amazing," Lotte leaned anxiously on the kitchen counter still keen to be involved, to help.

"Thank you, Lotte. And call me Jenny, please, Mrs Hadley sounds so formal," Jenny said, putting her arm round Lotte's shoulders.

"I'll call round tomorrow and see if I can drag her outside to get some fresh air. I'd better be off, I've a meeting at the Club. Thanks for asking me over. I hope I've helped," Lotte replied.

Sam jumped to his feet and approached them, his arms out.

"You have and thank you, Lotte. Team hug if that's okay. I feel like I need it," Sam sighed, sounding exhausted.

"Bless you, Lotte," Jenny said softly as she showed her to the door. "I'll be here tomorrow, but the two of you should just come and go as you please."

* * * * *

Two sets of ripples intersected, their growing circumferences glinting in the autumn light, bright rings on the dark water, until they were lost in the shadows of the overhanging trees. Vicki threw another pebble then turned to Lotte, taking her gloved hand in hers as they sat on the park bench.

"It's nice here, Vicks. I can see why you come here. How many rocks d'ya need to sink a body though?" Lotte's black humour knew no limits.

"Fuck off, Lots. I'd use pills anyway. Too fucking cold to drown. I mean, you'd shiver your tits off before you managed to get it done, then you'd end up catching a cold and be miserable. I couldn't top meself if I had a cold. Imagine the mourners taking their last look at you and muttering about your snotty nose." Vicki's humour matched her friend's.

"They'd take care of that at the mortuary. They make you face up nice and stuff paper up your arse to stop you shitting y'self," Lotte replied, taking a turn at lobbing a stone at the water.

"Do they? That's a cheat then isn't it? You'd think people could be genuine, huh," Vicki replied with a snort of humour.

Lotte leaned her forehead against Vicki's seeking a kiss, but Vicki pulled away abruptly.

"Sorry we'd better not, Lotte, not in public. The Herald are trying to make a story out of this and they had someone sitting outside the house yesterday."

"Jesus Christ. Sorry Vicks, I never thought," Lotte replied, sitting upright and glancing around.

"What are the Club telling people now? Are they still blaming gastro enteritis? Has that wanker Wilson shown his face? He told my Mum there'd be an official press release tomorrow, so it'll all be out then. He's said to expect the telly lot will be looking for an interview. I think his words were 'I'd caution against that, Mrs Hadley.' Like he can sit on his fat arse comfy at home and never give it a thought. Wanker." Vicki lobbed another stone, but so hard it fell with a clatter in the trees beyond the water.

"That the longest speech I've ever heard you make, Vicki," Lotte smiled across, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, well, there's plenty more where that came from," Vicki muttered, pulling the collar up on her coat.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to leak anger all over you. You didn't deserve that," Vicki saw Lotte's uncertain mood as she looked back.

"Fuck it, Vicks. You say whatever you want to with me," Lotte replied, then threw another stone.

"So, how are the applications going, Vicks?" Lotte asked, leaning back.

"Well, those details your sister gave me were great and I phoned the department secretary. It all seemed pretty straight forward so long as the area health authority underwrites the course. I should find out next week, hopefully," Vicki replied.

"Good thing you swatted at school then wasn't it? I never saw you as a smart tart, but you've always surprised me."

"I've my Dad to thank for that. 'A girl needs a career to fall back on, Vicki' he used to tell me, so I got me A-levels as much to keep him quiet. Didn't think I'd be needing them so soon. It made sense to have sciences though, and I knew more biology than my teachers given my inside knowledge, so it wasn't that hard."

"Annie loves her physio work. If you need any help, she'd be chuffed to help. She thinks you're amazing. I think she may even have a bit of a crush on you. Little cow!" Lotte replied with a laugh.

"That's kind of her. I may do, yeah. If everything goes through then the Uni tell me I could start this autumn if I decide I want to. No shortage of vacancies in the NHS, not that I'd stay there long. I think I'd have to do a year with them, then I'll try and find a club to work for." Vicki threw another stone with less anger this time.

"Would you stay with footie?" Lotte asked.

Vicki puffed out her cheeks in a long exhale, then shook her head.

"Nah. Probably not. It would be too close to home, wouldn't it? I don't blame the Club, Lotte. It's not their decision and they gave me the chance in the first place. I had a counsellor a few years back and their advice kinda stuck. They said water flows around a problem not through it."

"I get that, Vicks. You've got options, so use 'em. Still a fucking shame though. Sorry, I promised I'd stop saying that." Lotte corrected herself.

"So, how's training? I see Millie's talking about retirement. Can't be easy with two kids to look after and your fanny dropping out. Wanna Skittles?"

"Ta. Yeah, Millie's leaving, but she's been on the bench for a while to be honest. Can I come up and see you when you're there? I don't wanna cramp your style at big school or anything." Lotte looked across, squinting in the low afternoon light.

"I'm counting on it, Lotte. Besides, there won't be any other students with a Super League player as a girlfriend. I need bragging rights. The real question is, will you be tempted by some hot young player who flutters her eyes at you on the pitch? Who are ya gonna hug on the pitch now?"

"Vivianne's single now," Lotte teased back.

Vicki smiled then looked down at her feet, shuffling the damp leaves to find the gravel beneath and they fell into an easy silence for a few minutes.

"I fucking miss the game, Lotte. Play well. For me." Vicki spoke softly, half aloud and looking up at Lotte, tears threatening to fall.

"Fuck the press. Gimme a hug for fuck's sake," Lotte responded, reaching her arms to Vicki and they rocked a little. Vicki bit her lip hard, fighting back tears, but unseen, Lotte's tears fell, making soft circles on Vicki's coat.

"Back to my place, hon? We can order a take away and I've got some wine," Lotte gave a sniff then murmured into Vicki's shoulder and she felt the nod back in answer.

"Come on then." Lotte rose to her feet, offering a hand.

"Oh no, I made you cry. I thought you were supposed to be the tough one," Vicki cooed and reached for Lotte's hand as they stepped together.

"You bring the worst out in me, Vicks. Got me sucking dick, now I'm fucking crying. Fuck's sake, look at me," Lotte snorted a laugh.

Then Vicki laughed too and they both hooted, doubling up with unchecked laughter and stumbled together, shoulder-barging and boisterously making their way home.

©stickygirl 2022

My thanks once again for @electricblue66 for his patient catching sparrows and typos.