Going Home

"Maybe you should consider watching some youtube tutorials before you try outpatient procedures."

He smiled again, still looking spooked. "Yeah, I will try that next time. Sorry I hurt you Princess."

I shrugged. "It's not your fault, you were doing what you were told," I said, still numb. I felt Rally's hand tighten on my hip as all eyes went to him. I looked at him, unable to summon curiosity as to why he was tense now. He looked down at me, his eyes full of heat. His eyes were so beautiful. Had they really scared me once? My eyes dropped to his lips, so full and soft, even with the loops on either side of the bottom lip. "You try to hide it, but you are so fucking hot," I said as my eyes explored his face. His eyebrows climbed. "I'm so cold, do you think you could come in here with me and hold me?"

He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss my head. "Yeah babe." He stood and slid onto the couch behind me, holding me tight against him. I drifted back to sleep.

I woke to commotion and light. I felt horrible, nauseous and groggy as I tried to open my eyes. There were so many people speaking, but the first thing I saw was Rally against a white wall, his hands on his knees. He was pale and his eyes were rimmed red like he had been crying. He saw me open my eyes and his face flooded with relief as he rushed to me, taking my hand.

"She's awake!" he said, through the other voices.

I looked around then, but held tight to Rally, even as a woman's voice told him to move back. He moved higher, not back as I looked at the nurses and the doctor. There was an IV in my arm and I felt woozy as I saw blood in the bag and not saline.

I wanted to ask questions but my mind was a fog and my mouth didn't want to work. I clutched Rally tighter, frightened as someone shone a light in my eyes. I closed my eyes and turned towards Rally, trying to pull him closer.

"Easy Princess, I have you, I am right here."

"What...?" I croaked finally.

"Can she have some water?" Rally demanded and a straw was pressed to my lips. The cold water felt wonderful on my throat.

"Miss, please, lay back on your back or we will have to strap you down," the male doctor demanded.

I turned to my back and noticed the stirrups and the tray with blood. The nurses seemed to be cleaning up and another nurse brought in a bag of saline and two syringes.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You tell us," the doctor said and he sounded perturbed. "Your boyfriend said you complained of bad cramps and then he couldn't wake you."

Another nurse left and I saw Officer Shumacker in the hall, his arms crossed, looking livid.

"You and I both know that isn't what happened. Your boyfriend says he has no idea, and maybe that is so, but you and I both know that there is more to this. If you inserted something or did something, I need to know. I just fixed some serious damage ma'am, you need to be honest."

Rally looked pale and I knew he was as afraid as I was.

"Ok... I said. "But please ask him to step out," I whispered, looking at Rally.

He pulled back, looking betrayed and a little afraid.

"Sir, please step out," the doctor demanded.

"Princess, whatever it is, you can tell me too," Rally began.

The doctor was impatient, he opened the door and motioned to Officer Shumacker. Rally stood up straight, his face going cold. He left, but Officer Shumacker didn't. That was fine, he could hear this as well.

As soon as Rally was gone, I hid my face. "It's all right Ms Ellison, you can tell us," the nurse said.

"It's embarrassing," I whispered. "Please don't tell him, I would die. I... care for him a lot. I don't think he likes me as much as I love him. I thought... maybe, if I got pregnant. But if I made an appointment he would know, it had to be an accident. I took my IUD out. I didn't think it would be so bad... I thought it would slip right out if I got the little string with pliers..."

"You ripped your own IUD out?" the doctor asked blinking. "Well, that actually explains a lot. I thought he had... nevermind. Ma'am, that was an incredibly dangerous and stupid thing to do. You could have died if he hadn't got you here so quickly."

"I know it was stupid now, but it was so simple when she put it in. I knew when it hurt so bad that something was wrong and I didn't know what to tell him. I was so afraid he would be upset."

The officer grunted, glaring at me. He turned and left, disgusted. I know he knew I was lying, but I didn't care.

"Please don't tell him?"

"I won't tell him anything, it will be on you to tell him it is none of his business," the doctor said, going to wash his hands. "Viola is going to switch your bags, get you hydrated and medicated. You are good to go once you have a bag in you. Stay off your feet the next few days, not that that is going to be an issue with your foot. I suggest you talk to your man instead of trying to trick him, but that is not my business. Try to stay out of the ER the next few weeks and I hope you feel better soon."

The doctor left, looking grumpy and I suppose he had the right. Women trapping men was a shitty thing. As soon as he was gone, Rally looked in warily. "Can I come back in yet?"

"Yeah," I answered softly.

He came in cautiously and I held out my hand. He took it gingerly.

"Let me switch these out and I will give you two a few minutes, ok?" the nurse said. "These meds will help with the pain, and these will guard against infection. This one is for the nausea the first one will cause. You will probably be getting sleepy soon hun. All right, I will be back in a few with a hot blanket, ok?"

She left without waiting for an answer and I looked up at Rally. He looked spooked. "I have the boys on standby. Do I need to send word?"

"I told them I was trying to trap you, get pregnant behind your back. I pulled it out myself."

His mouth opened and his eyebrows climbed, then he smiled and kissed my head. "Princess, I do not deserve you."

"No," I said softly. "You don't. Will you release me now, please? Unclaim me or whatever?"

He pulled back, hurt all over again. He let go of my hand and stood up as I waited for an answer. He didn't speak, he walked to the counter by the sink and set my keys on it, then walked out the door. I watched, my stomach clenching and my mind already starting to go fuzzy.

When I woke, the lights were off, but there was a nurse checking my vitals. "Hey," she said gently. "So I guess you talked to him. It will be ok hon, it's for the best. Guy like him, you know. We didn't wake you since you can't drive yourself home. Do you have anyone you can call?"

"No," I answered numbly. "Umm. I don't know the number, but I have a name, he lives here in town. My father. Eric Ellison."

"Ok hun, I will see what I can find. You just go ahead and rest."

She slipped out and I lay there as tears slid down my cheeks.

My father showed up in under an hour, almost hysterical. I stared up at him when he came in, hardly recognizing him. He was so much older. Pale. Balding. A pudge in his gut.

"Teague? What happened? They wouldn't say on the phone, just that..."

"I am ok now," I said quickly. "I... just didn't have anyone else to call. I'm sorry if you were worried."

"It's ok pumpkin, I was just worried. I just thought no one would call me unless it was bad, you know?"

"Yeah. Umm. I have my car here but they won't let me drive."

"Melinda is here. I can drive you and she can follow us. Is that ok?"

"Sure... umm." I had no idea what to call him. I did not want to call him dad, or daddy like I used to.

"It's fine pumpkin," he said gently. "No expectations. I will just take you home. Whatever you need, ok?"

"Thanks, ummm... Eric."

"Sure. No problem."

The nurse came in, all smiles. "You didn't say you were Melinda's stepdaughter! She works night shift and..."

"I'm not," I said coldly. "I have never met the woman."

"Oh," the nurse said, her face shutting down. "Well anyway, you are dad? I have her information here, she needs to stay off her feet the next few days and here are her scrips. If her bleeding gets worse or..."

I turned away, tuning the woman out as I thought of Rally. I closed my eyes and tried to push the thoughts away. The drugs were still messing with my head, but my heart hurt.

I came out of it when the nurse pulled the wheelchair up and pulled my blanket back. "Here you go hon," she said gently, easing me into the chair. She pushed me out to the front as Eric spoke on the phone to, I could only imagine, Melinda. Telling her he was driving me home and to meet him by my jeep to get the scrips to pick up for me.

I was in a daze as the nurse waited at the curb with me until my jeep pulled up. Her and Eric both helped me into the passenger seat. I leaned my head on the cold window and watched the trees go by. Halfway home, he spoke.

"I'm sorry about your baby," he said gently.

I blinked, then realized he assumed I had had a miscarriage. They hadn't told him what happened, but he deduced from the information that I must have miscarried. I didn't correct him, I didn't want to have that conversation with a stranger.

"Your mom miscarried before you, you know. You were her rainbow baby. The baby why you and Mike split?"

"How do you know about Mike?" I asked in confusion.

"Oh... sorry. I facebook stalked you and him a little bit."

"I didn't know you were on facebook."

"I guess that means you didn't stalk me then," he chuckled nervously.

"No," I answered, laying back on the window.

"So how is the old house? Like you remember?"

"Not really."

"All right pumpkin, I will leave you alone. You look great though. I mean, despite everything. What happened to your foot?"

"Broke it."

"Your mom was accident prone. Wow, the old place looks pretty good. Here, hold on, I will help you in."

He helped me inside and it was dark and quiet and empty. My heart and stomach sank a little more. My phone was on the island. He led me to the living room and I saw a large blood stain on the couch where I had been laying. I froze, staring at it, then broke down crying.

Eric caught me, easing me to my knees and hugging me close, rocking me and patting my shoulder. "Oh pumpkin, I am so so sorry." He held me there, rocking me while I cried until Sheila showed up. He gave me a pill, then helped me to my bed and laid me down. My big, empty bed. The blue dress was laying out on my dresser, arranged nicely. I turned away from it and let Eric tuck me into bed.

When I woke, I had expected to be alone, but I heard noises. I sat up, sending a sharp pain up my belly. "Rally?!?" I called.

Eric popped into my room with a questioning smile. "Hey pumpkin, are you ok? DId you yell?"

"I... I just woke up. Umm. What are you still doing here?"

"They said you had to be off your feet a few days... I thought I might stay close and make sure you had food and everything you needed. Just until you could be up and around on your own. Is that ok? I'd really like to if it's alright. How do you feel? Do you need a pain pill?"

"I am ok. Umm. Would you mind rolling my desk chair in here so I can move myself around a little?"

"I can help you move..."

"I need the restroom, I would rather go alone."

"Oh, yeah, sure. I will get it."

I scooted myself to the restroom, then the living room. The couch cushion had been flipped. I scooted to the kitchen where Eric was making food.

"Hey! I can't cook much, but I remember how to make your favorite. Potato soup!"

"Thanks Eric."

"Sure pumpkin."

"I'd really rather you called me Teague."

"Oh, yeah, No problem. I like what you have done with the place, but I have to ask... what is with all the beds? You opening a hostel?"

"Oh, no. It's a long story."

"Yeah? I have time."

"Isn't Melinda upset you are here?" I asked instead of answering.

"No. She knows everything. I told her all of it. She understands. She's a nurse you know, if you wanted to meet her. She could help you out. She's really nice."

"Maybe another time."

"Sure pum... Teague. So what is all that stuff in there around your desk?"

"My work. They are 3-D printers I use to design parts for smaller companies that don't have the tech they need to do it themselves. I do other things too, but mostly that."

"Maybe you can show me how it works?"

"Maybe."

"Seen any of your old friends since you got home?"

I stared at him blandly until he swallowed and looked away. If he had bothered to pay an ounce of attention back then, he would know I didn't have any friends. I had acquaintances I attended school with. All of my friends I had met in college and it turned out they weren't my friends at all.

After an uncomfortable lunch, I decided I would rather sleep the next few days away. I woke long enough to use the restroom and eat, then I took another pill and went back to sleep.

On the fourth day, I was able to hobble around. Eric seemed like he was loathe to leave, but I assured him I was fine and thanked him for staying.

I tried to busy myself, putting all of my new books away and getting all of the things I had ordered ready to send back. All four laptops were in their boxes and ready to go back as well.

I sat looking at them, wondering where everyone had gone. Rally had said they had places ready all over and I was guessing they wouldn't go far. Not with all of them having local jobs.

Local jobs.

I looked at my watch and hurried to get dressed. Frustrated, I took off the air cast and put my big snuggy boots on. I hobbled out to the car and drove up to the factory. I got there eleven minutes before shift change. I sat back out of the way, facing the three motorcycles. I didn't know who belonged to which cycle, but I didn't have to wait long to tell.

Wild came out talking to a man and laughing before getting on his bike and heading out. There were so many people leaving, it was easy to blend in. I followed him from a distance. A long distance since it was easy to see far ahead of me. I turned on a gravel road, well behind him and when I topped a hill, I couldn't see him. He'd either laid on the gas, or he was somewhere between here and the next far hill.

I turned around and waited for nightfall before driving up the road. There was a single building between the two hills, a broken down old barn next to a burned out house. I remembered the house, but I couldn't remember who lived in it. I kept going, not slowing down. I circled around the road to the opposite side of the field across from the house. And snuck across. I sat in the tall grass and watched, wondering if I should go closer.

A half hour in, two bikes roared up and turned in, going into the barn. I saw two figures lit by moonlight walk to the house and pull open the cellar next to the burned out house and go down. I sat there a while longer, but it was just dark, quiet and cold.

I came the next night and sat, then the night after. It was a Saturday night. I watched and finally, several people came out and someone hung a lantern on one of the beams. They made a bonfire and sat around it, laughing and joking, but I only had eyes for the tall man leaning against the beam and watching the others soberly. After a while, they brought out instruments and played, singing and dancing raucously, like wild people. Ginger tried to pull Rally off the wall to dance, but he shook her off and wandered off into the darkness. In the moonlight, I saw him step away from the ditch and walk down the gravel road.

Staying low, I followed until I was well out of sight of the barn, then I stood since Rally wasn't looking back. He finally stopped walking and leaned on a signpost at a crossroads and looked up at the moon. I crossed the fence and slipped out to the road, trying to sneak up on him.

"I aint in the mood to talk, Torque," he said, making me jump. He didn't turn around, so I kept moving closer.

From behind, I slipped my arms around his waist.

"Fucking hell?" he demanded, grabbing my arms and turning. He stared down at me, confused and a little angry looking. "What are you doing here? How did you find us?"

"I know where people work," I answered softly. "Why did you leave? Was allowing me to be my own person too much to ask? You had to own me or walk away?" I was hurt and angry and confused. I wanted to lash out, demand answers, but I just sounded like a wounded animal and a little whiny. I hated myself for that.

He took my face in his hands roughly and turned my face up to his, looking into my eyes in the moonlight. "Are you fucking with me?" he asked harshly.

"What?"

"You told me you wanted free of me. I set you free."

"I told you I wanted you to unclaim me. Let me live and love you on my terms and not yours. I didn't ask you to leave. Or them. You made that choice."

"No, you told me to let you go!"

"Let someone go and if they stay, they are truly yours. Have you never heard that? That was all I was asking. I didn't want to be your prisoner, I wanted to be your partner. I felt I had proven myself enough to ask that, but you LEFT. You walked away and left me alone after you ripped me apart. My father had to come take care of me!"

He winced and let me go, stepping back. "Fucking hell Princess."

"My name is Teague. I came for answers. I guess I got them."

"No," he said harshly, catching my arm and pulling me close. "Just hold on."

"Or what? You will kidnap me again?"

"Rally?" a male voice called.

"Busy! I will be back later Torque!"

"You ok?"

"Yes. One of you fuckers led Princess to us."

"She's back?" he asked, sounding shocked.

"Fuck off Torque!" Rally yelled. He looked down a me, his face full of heat. "Are you healed?" he asked angrily.

"I can move around, but it still hurts. Not as much as my soul has been."

He growled. He moved in suddenly and put an arm around my waist, lifting me off my feet. He turned and stepped over the ditch in a single stride and bore me down to the grass. His hand took hold of my face in the darkness. He was shaking and I was sure it wasn't from the cold. His lips touched mine in the darkness and I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"No!" whispered, tears in my eyes. "You can't just kiss the pain away, you hurt me! You abandoned me when I needed you most after I had given myself to you wholly. All I wanted was to not be owned. Not be subjected to punishments. I wanted the sweet and gentle side of you, not the alpha male leader of your clan."

"I am who I am, Princess. It's all or nothing. And if you think I am letting you go now, after admitting you love me, you are dead wrong. It has KILLED me these last days. I was ready to step down and walk away from everything because I couldn't put you out of my mind. I imagined going back up there and carrying you off for a normal life. I couldn't do it because I knew I would start resenting you and you didn't deserve that. I have needed you just as badly as you have needed me."

"No you haven't! You have had your clan. I have had no one, worse than no one, the man I have hated for years! You haven't been ripped open and trapped in a sleeping stupor to escape life! You haven't had a doctor talk down to you with disdain after lying to protect someone else! You haven't been kidnapped and abused and tortured by someone you come to care about despite everything! Like I have the lowest self esteem in the world. No. you don't deserve me and I know it. You know it. Your alpha male clan nonsense be damned. I care for you Rally. I do. But I refuse to be someone's possession. I deserve more than that. If you cannot separate the two, learn to live with that, then you can walk away. It will hurt but I will move on."

He growled again and leaned in, kissing me roughly. I let him, kissing him back as passionately as I could. His hands slid down and yanked my shirt up, then his own so we were skin to skin as we lay on the cold ground. He started to shove my pants down and I pulled away, sucking in air.