Golden Penis Syndrome

-----

As the fall quarter slowly came to a close, the two still-single students found themselves busier and busier trying to finish long homework assignments and a few term papers. On one Saturday evening they both decided to take a break and head down to Guido's, a student hangout and bar on the drag. When they arrived, the place was hopping with loud, pulsating music and crazy dancing.

"Just what we need," shouted Shannon into Mallory's ear.

"Yeah, for sure. Let me get the first round. Wine, as usual?"

Mallory went to the bar and purchased the drinks and they found a tiny table next to the dance floor. They couldn't easily talk but they both enjoyed the music and watching the dancers. After a few minutes, Shannon was asked to dance. She nodded yes and left Mallory at the table. The two had an understanding that one would always watch their drinks if the other was dancing. As a result, she had to turn down one invite to dance until Shannon returned. Then it was Mallory's turn.

The guy seemed quite nice and attractive. He was about a head taller and sported some obvious muscles around his shoulders. After a couple of fast dances, the music slowed and he took her into his arms. He was able to talk into her ear and told her he had been on a swim team in high school and still liked swimming, though Paff didn't have a collegiate swim team. Mallory was able to get his name and gave him her phone number. At the end of the dancing, she felt fairly good about his prospects.

Shannon wasn't so fortunate and was despondent when they left. "Damn, nothing there. You got lucky, though."

"We'll have to see."

"What's his name, anyway?"

"Tyler."

"Hmm, sounds familiar. I can't seem to remember why, though..."

"Nothing bad, I hope."

"I just can't remember. Sorry, Mal. If I think of it, I'll let you know."

-----

A few days later he called and they set up a quick date. He picked Mallory up and took her out for a pizza, something she usually avoided due to the carbs, but she had a couple of pieces, enjoying them thoroughly. On the way back to her apartment he asked if he could come up. That bothered Mallory who felt it was her prerogative to invite, not his to invite himself. But other than that, the evening seemed to be a success so she nodded 'yes.'

At the apartment she introduced him to Shannon who discreetly excused herself to leave them alone. Mallory and Tyler watched TV with him hanging his arm loosely over her shoulder. Then it happened: his fingers started to wander down her chest to her boob!

'Dammit,' she thought to herself, 'We haven't even kissed and he's trying to steal second base.' She gently grabbed his hand and slid it back up to her shoulder. Several minutes later he repeated the whole thing again.

"Uh, Tyler," she said as she gently pushed his hand away from her breast, "Uh, not so fast."

"Fast? Are you kidding? We've been together all evening and you call this fast?"

"We haven't even kissed and I still barely know you. Yeah, it's too fast."

"I'm thinking you're a tease," he exclaimed as he stood up. "You wear that sexy see-through top and we're just sitting here. What else is a guy supposed to think?"

"Tyler, you seemed like a nice guy, someone I wanted to get to know. What's the rush, anyway?"

"Rush?" he called out with exasperation in his voice, "After three hours I think we're beyond rushing. Are you frigid?"

"Jesus! Three hours and you want to grab the girls? You just blew it. I thought we'd hit it off, but noooo, you wanted it all. Get the fuck out! Go!"

"Your loss, Sweetheart," he said sarcastically. She kept her mouth shut until he closed the door behind him, when she screamed out "Arrrrgh! Fuckin' asshole," while throwing a pillow at the door.

"Mal, you OK?" asked Shannon, coming from her room.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just these assholes some people call men. What the fuck's wrong with them?"

"What happened?"

"We were sitting there watching TV when he went for the girls. We hadn't even kissed. I called him on it and he called me 'frigid.' Asshole!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Shannon as she went over and gave Mallory a big hug. "Go ahead and forget him."

"Oh, I will, but I wanna be with someone," she sniffled, "But I'm not one to hop in the sack."

"I know, I feel the same way."

As Mallory stayed there hugging Shannon back, she realized the hug felt extra good. "I like your hugs, Shan. Feel good."

"Yeah, agree. Too bad these guys just don't get it."

They broke apart and Shannon offered her roommate a glass of wine while taking one for herself. After they wordlessly toasted each other and had their first swallow, Mallory turned and said, "Looks like I'll be having another one-some tonight. Shit, if he'd played his cards right..."

"His loss. Forget about him. Uh, I was wondering about some sexual solitaire myself. It was driving me crazy knowing you were out here and looking to possibly get a little action."

"I'll never go all the way on the first couple of dates."

"Oh, I know that, but a little snuggling, some tongue wrestling, I figured you'd do that, at least."

"Hey," whispered Mallory after a few seconds, "How about it together, you know, like we did before?"

"Seriously? Wanna do it?"

"Yeah, I kinda do. I enjoy a good orgasm, but I'm missing the closeness. If you'd sit next to me..."

"Sure, OK. Let's get our BOBs," Shannon answered.

The two scurried around the apartment, turning off the lights, turning up the heat, grabbing their vibrators and, in Mallory's case, getting undressed. They ended up in the darkened living room and nervously sat down in front of the sofa, side by side.

"We really gonna do this?" asked a nervous Shannon.

"Sure, why not? Here, scoot closer. No, wait, swap sides, first."

"Why?"

"You're righthanded and I'm a leftie. We can each use our vibes and not bump into each other."

They relaxed a few seconds before Shannon turned her vibrator on and began to stimulate her breasts as Mallory looked at her in the dark. She was struck by Shannon's lean torso and small but prominent breasts. Mallory was sometimes embarrassed by her own fuller body and wished she could shed a few pounds and look more like her roomie.

"Hey, quit staring," teased Shannon, "Makin' me nervous."

"You've got nothing to be nervous about. Your bod is to die for."

"What? You've gotta be kidding. Guys love your curves and your boobs, God, girl, your boobs are enough to even get me going."

"You perv," chuckled Mallory as she turned on her own vibrator. The two sat next to each other for a few minutes enjoying the slight humming sensations. They each sighed quietly as the stimulation increased. Mallory paused a second and pulled off her shirt and shucked her panties to the floor.

"Couldn't wait, huh?" asked Shannon as she sat forward to pull off her own clothes. They stretched out, side-by-side, with their arms lightly touching while the other hands were busy with their toys.

"Feels good," whispered Mallory.

"Uh-huh."

"Mind if I touch you a little more?"

"No, go ahead," came the response before Mallory linked her arm under Shannon's and gave it a tiny hug.

"Mmm, nicer."

"Yeah, it is."

The vibrators were first used on the nipples but soon each dragged her toy down to her pelvis. Shannon's Grlsfrnd teased her lips apart before she plunged the narrow end into herself and started to stimulate her G-spot while Mallory let her toy vibrate and move around in tiny circles right on her pearl.

Shannon was the first to climax, feeling a tiny wave start deep inside, swell and spread throughout her body. "Oh, shit, that feels sooo good," she hissed as she recovered and turned off her Grlsfrnd.

"Umm-hmm," answered Mallory as she worked furiously on her clit. There was something about Shannon climaxing right next to her which helped send Mallory over her own edge less than a minute later. As she recovered, she shivered a tiny bit and turned hers off.

"Nice?" asked Shannon.

"Yeah."

"I had a nice one, too."

They sat there, arm in arm, for a few, quiet minutes. "Uh, Shan, would it be too weird to say that being so close to you made it better?"

"No. I kinda agree. Something about touching is nice and comfortable."

"How about a hug? OK?" asked Mallory as she stirred and turned to Shannon.

"No, yeah, that'd be fine. Here," she said as she reached for Mallory. With their arms wrapped around each other they sat there recovering. Shannon lightly rubbed Mallory's back until they broke apart.

"Whew, I feel better. Thanks, Shan. I'm going to sleep well tonight."

"Yeah, me too."

"Shan?"

"Yeah?"

"We OK? I didn't freak you out, or anything, did I?"

"No. Felt good. A little touch is nice. Goodnight, Mal. Sleep tight."

-----

After that night they were a lot looser with each other. Their teasing was frequent and, at times, quite risqué. And their hugs were frequent and warm, but certainly not sexual. Shannon found herself occasionally having a warm glow when she thought about her roommate. She didn't think of Mallory in sexual terms so much as in terms of a very close and important person in her life.

Mallory, on the other hand, found herself thinking a lot about Shannon and trying to tamp down her emotions about her. She actually had the word 'lesbian' drift through her mind during her contemplations, but she insisted to herself she was straight, or at least bi, and still liked the idea of a warm, turgid cock pounding into her.

There was a two week break at the holidays when each went to her home. The day after Christmas Shannon texted Mallory.

S having a good time?

M yeah, nice presents

S what

M cute blouse, nice perfume

S might have to borrow some ;)

M you?

S new sexy pjs

M no tshirts anymore?

S nope, gotta catch a man somehow

M good luck

S new year resol get laid

M I'll do the same good luck

S cu next week

M ttfn

-----

Back at their apartment they quickly got busy with their last 'hard' quarter. Both knew the grades in the final Spring quarter weren't as important, but in the meantime they had to work extra hard. They discussed their New Year's resolutions to 'get laid' but both wanted more than just a quick screw.

"I want some 'loving', ya know?" stated Mallory.

"Yeah, a cock is nice, but what about a little snuggling, hugging and having a lazy morning after? What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, dammit. And I'm going out to get me some loving."

"I'm going to scope out the classes and try to meet some nice guys."

"You go, Girl, I'm right there with you."

With renewed enthusiasm, both women went to their classes, met some guys and within a week both had been asked out. On the Friday night they got ready, laughing and giggling with sexual energy. Each was hopeful she had finally landed a nice guy though neither was ready to jump into the sack right away.

Mallory had been invited out to a movie at the Cineplex by Ted, a guy in one of her electives. He was a senior and planned on going to grad school in virology. They both liked the movie and drifted back to the apartment after having an ice cream. At her door Ted was a gentleman (!) and quietly asked if she would like to go out again soon. Mallory smiled yes which was greeted with a quick, but nice kiss. In her room she was walking on air. The guy seemed so nice. He wasn't pushing for sex, which meant she would probably offer it to him pretty soon. She finished the evening with a little vibrator me-time.

Shannon was similarly impressed with her date Nathaniel. He took her out for a light dinner before inviting her out to Brown's Bluff, a small park with a nice view over the town. Late at night it became a make-out spot but this early in the evening, his was the only car in the lot. It was chilly and he pulled her to him, wrapped his arm around her and kept the car heater on low. He was perfect. His arm felt good and warm, yet he didn't try to feel her up. Eventually they shared a few modest kisses before he took her back to the apartment. A warm kiss at the door was so promising.

The next morning, the two were happy and excited. They shared their good stories and toasted each other with orange juice. "To a decent guy, uh guys," toasted Shannon.

"Amen."

Several days later it was as if there were a cosmic prankster jerking them around. Mallory had been so impressed with Ted that she decided to wear something sexier and more revealing. 'Might as well let him know I'm interested,' she mused to herself as she got dressed. Ted had invited her to a party at a frat near his place. They walked up the sidewalk arm in arm and inside, he took her coat while she meandered over to the bar. Shortly after she started to drink her wine, Ted came over for a beer. They stayed together for a while, but eventually she ran into an old classmate and Ted drifted off to talk with some other male students. Mallory had lost track of Ted and was startled to find him in the kitchen with his arms wrapped around an Asian girl. As Mallory stood there with her mouth hanging open, he reached down and kissed the girl deeply. This was no chaste kiss; she was sure his tongue was halfway down her throat.

'What the fuck?' she thought as she went over to grab her coat. She didn't even tell him she was leaving and walked home in a rage. "These fucking assholes!" she muttered, "What is it with them? He's nice and then does a shitty thing like that."

Back in her apartment she opened a fresh bottle of wine and began to drink from the bottle. 'Might as well get shit-faced, nothing else to do.' Upon becoming significantly drunk she crawled into bed and passed out.

Shannon had a similar, but perhaps milder, experience. Nathaniel took her to a movie which wasn't to her liking. There was far too much violence and bloodshed and she found herself snickering at his moving in his seat whenever the violence escalated. 'He's really into this,' she mused. After the movie they went to a small pub. Nathaniel seemed almost hyper and quickly drank two beers before she had even finished half of hers. He wanted to talk about the movie and kept reliving some of the gorier scenes, something which made her more uncomfortable.

Finally, she asked, "Did you truly like that movie?"

"Yeah! Didn't you?"

"Ahh, not so much. It just wasn't my thing."

"Wasn't your thing? When the droid impaled that chick with his cybersword, well, I thought that was the coolest scene in the movie."

"Really? Seeing a chick get skewered?"

"Yeah! And it looked so realistic, don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah, but I need to relax after something like that if I want to sleep tonight, so let's change subjects."

"I know something that will relax you."

"Uh, what?" she asked, knowing what he would suggest.

"How about you and me go back to my place and, you know, fool around."

And there it was. Date number one was perfect and date number two was for sex. Yet again she was put off by the infantile behavior of her date.

"No thanks. I need to get back to my place."

"Hey, how come? It's early still."

"I, uh, I need to get up early tomorrow to work with someone on our term project," she lied. "I'll head on home."

Not surprisingly, he didn't offer to escort her home and took off in a huff.

-----

The next morning a slightly hung-over Mallory and a still pissed off Shannon met in their kitchen.

"How was your night, Mal?"

"Ohh, don't talk so loud."

"Loud? Oh. Hung over, huh?"

"Yeah. Got pissed off so I decided to get pissed. Worked, too."

"What pissed you off?"

"The 'gentleman,' if I can call him that, from last week had his tongue halfway down a chick's esophagus when I last saw him. I guess we didn't even make it to the end of the second date to split up. Bastard!"

"Man, that's cold. At least I didn't have that."

"Oh? What happened?"

"You know, movie and a beer. He was so into the movie, you know, the one about a droid nation that attacks the last pockets of civilization. Disgusting. But he loved it and seemed to get off on a scene where a chick was skewered by a droid's cybersword. Gross."

"So, did you talk about anything else?"

"How could I? With him it was all about the movie. When I told him to change subjects so I could relax, all he could do was invite me to his place to 'relax.' By then I was so disgusted by his love of gore that I bailed. And the shit head didn't even offer to walk me home."

"I know what we need," laughed Mallory. "At least I need it. I need a gooey sweet roll and a large mug of mocha. Sugar, fat and caffeine."

"OK, I agree. One gut bomb brunch coming up! I'll be ready in fifteen."

At the coffee shop they chatted and glanced through a newspaper someone had left behind. Suddenly, Shannon sat up, grabbed Mallory's arm and said, "Hey, listen to this. This article is talking about the Golden Penis Syndrome."

"Golden Penis Syndrome? Wha...?"

"Yeah. They say here that in certain colleges and even in certain professions or work places, there are way more women than men. The men are in such high demand that they become 'less gracious,' according to this article."

"They mean they're dicks."

"Well, yeah, but they won't put that word in the newspaper. So, maybe that's what's going on with us. Way too many women and too few men. They can get what they want so easy they can even quit playing nice."

"Yeah, they just wanna get laid and don't care how they go about it. Here, let me read it," said Mallory.

After Mallory finished reading, Susan spoke up, "We thought it was us, but it's not! It's them! This calls for a celebration."

"What's to celebrate?"

"You and me, we're normal! And we don't have to spend our time worrying why we get losers."

"I see. Maybe if we quit trying..."

"That's it. Forget them. We don't need them. They've only treated us like shit."

"Not all guys do, Shan, you know that."

"Oh, I'm sure, but here they're too few guys, so I figure they've all got the syndrome. I'm done with them. After graduation, I'll try again but for now, I've got my Grlsfrnd, a good romance novel and even a couple of nice web sites."

"Shh, Shan, not so loud," giggled Mallory, "But you're right. I agree. I'm gonna quit with men for now, too. Not worth the hassle."

"I'll toast to that. No wait, you're still hung over a little, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but let's toast with our coffees. Ahem. Uh...To our lives without men! Cheers!"

"To anxiety free Fridays and relaxing weekends. Cheers!"

"To girlfriends. Cheers!"

"To Grlsfrnd. Cheers," added Shannon before she cracked up.

"Let's get out of here. I still need to take it easy or my headache will come back."

With their arms linked, they wandered back to their apartment in high spirits, laughing and joking. It was as if a heavy burden had been lifted. They no longer had to worry about guys, dating or any of that. They were free.

"Free at least until graduation," said Mallory after they got back to their place.

"Yep. No men for five months! And I thought I'd never look forward to such a long dry spell."

"Hey, we can do what we want, when we want. And not keep worrying about the guy, what he wants or even if he's an ass."

"Hallelujah!" shouted Shannon.

"Oooh, maybe not so loud, Shan. I'm still working on a hangover headache."

"Oops, sorry. You take it easy. I need to work on an accounting project, so I'll sit quietly."

"Thanks. You're a sweetheart. I'm gonna go lie down a bit."

-----

After that revelation, the two seemed far happier. They didn't worry about the next date or how the guy would treat them. They enjoyed their classes, kicking back and relaxing together. About a week later they decided to go out on a 'date.' Even though they had sworn off men, they still wanted to experience campus life or go into the city for fun. They spent the evening at a bluegrass concert enjoying the music and dancing off to the side along with several other couples. They each had two beers and were feeling happy and relaxed as they walked back to the apartment with their arms linked together.