All Comments on 'Grace'

You have great story telling skills. But you need an editor.

It’s cafe au lait.

I'm becoming a fan of you. Both your stories were awesome and erotic. I'd love to read a part 2 on this one. Keep writing you are very talented.

Good start

A couple of writing suggestions...spell out the state not GA, and in a story it wouldbe "four to one" not 4:1.ewz

Good premise.

But the sex, when it happens, happens much to fast. Starts too abruptly. Lacks details. Is over too quickly.

Needed dialog where he tells Grace what he's going to do. And more dialog while he's doing it. Needs some gentleness befor he goes down on her. Why so abruptly? Why in such a hurry? Why doesn't he try to 'seduce' her to get her in the mood? Why doesn't he have her feel and play with his cock and balls while hr touches and fingers her? Why no involvement with her breasts?

Three stars.

Fun read. However I agree that the sex scene seems out of sync with Ben's character earlier in the story.

A better ending would be where Ben is much better at getting Grace in the mood even with it being her first time. In addition, actually 'working' on the family farm could have left her still chaste but without her hymn. Just would have been better for her overall experience with the scene.

Ben's character earlier in the book, had him physically caring for Grace, & waiting until they were married. So self-control & patience was obviously traits of his. So why write him as if he is attacking her like an animal? Earlier in the story it is written that he disliked hearing her crying as her father sold her to Ben. Why would he abruptly turn a deft ear to her cries of physical pain?

Exposition tends to detract from audience enjoyment of all stories in which it exists. The only time that it can help is in explaining a character's previous actions. Telling a story locked in the protagonist's own six senses tends to make it more enjoyable to read.

The story is still a fun read, but it seems very rushed. So hopefully the author feels inspired by the idea of rewriting this story into more than one chapter.

Good story. Hope there's some more chapters, the end seemed rushed.

Oh my Goddess, I laughed so hard at...

"Shut up!" Ben shouted at the screaming kids. They immediately silenced.

"I'll bring your sister around to visit you brats! Make sure you take baths and mind your Pa! You all stink and need haircuts!"

🤣 loved the dialogue and interaction between characters. I also agree with the other readers that the 'love scene' was rather rushed but I can also think that the build up from once he first saw Grace to finally be intimate things would've progressed rapidly. PE is real people. Looking forward to reading more from you, thanks.

Loved this. I didn’t mind how rushed and rough he was, but I think it probably because I read the chapters out of order, so I knew that’s just how he likes it. He’s kind enough to still be likable. Doesn’t hurt that being a stay at home wife for a dominant and slightly sadistic man is basically my favorite fantasy 😏

I read part 3 first because it’s new and was at the top of the page. I liked it a lot, and read everything else you shared too. Please keep writing, I love all of your stories, and I know you’re just going to get better as you write more.

He's a man of his time with the experience of just fucking whores. And he's consumed by lust at the sight of her. Frankly, consummating the marriage in the way that he did makes the absolute most sense. He laid claim to her as evidenced by his "My Gracie, my Gracie" exhortations at the end. He can woo her down the line as they discover and begin to appreciate each other.