All Comments on 'Gravity Never Suited Me'

Love this story. Very well written, great character development, love the everything about it! Thanks for sharing!

This is a beautiful story! It's sweet and engaging and touching and, above all, different. The spacecraft is generally very well realised.

The two characters initial shyness about nudity and sexuality seems to me to suggest that they're both younger than they're described to be, especially Riley; but that might equally be explained by the culture in which they live being more repressed and sex-averse than ours. On the other hand, the fact that they watch dramas we know about suggests that this isn't very far in the future, so probably society isn't that different from our own.

Please let me say this very gently, so as not to discourage you, because this is really good but I think it could be technically better. Nobody's writing is perfect and everyone has their own way of expressing things. I'm not saying one way is better than another. But it is common and I personally would find it easier to read if you grouped things one character does in one paragraph, and started a new paragraph for the other character's response.

Don't really like how it ended, I also wish their was more. But, a good story none the less.

OMG, oral sex upside down in 0G! That's the best! Seriously, a nice story with lots of natural, witty dialogue, which is so important.

Bit I agree with Simon about the spacing and sections for each character. Don't know if he means at this detailed level, but here's an 'edited' example of the bit just above:

'Me too,' Riley says.

They are both silent again.

Zoe wipes a year away as it falls down her cheek. 'Are we saying goodbye at the end of lunch?' she asks, fighting back more tears.

Riley shakes her head, grabbing Zoe's hands. 'My parents offered to pay for a ship with artificial gravity,' she says.

@simonBrooke @Only_connect I appreciate the input. In Google docs, I started a new line and indented for each line of dialogue, which for some reason is a new paragraph and double spaced with Literotica's format. Unfortunately, my editors read it in Google docs, so we didn't catch the problem. Thanks so much for your kind words, I am very encouraged as a new author!

Loved the story. The interactions were super cute and I enjoyed the slow burn, and the sex payoff was quite satisfying.

I see you have a passion for Sci-Fi writing, and took the opportunity to flesh out the non-erotic details as much as possible. I’ve just started reading Becky Chambers, and you remind me of her. Scientifically proficient but with very natural dialogue and a warm, witty sense of humor.

This story was right up my alley. I have Sci-Fi aspirations too - if you are interested check out my own “lesbians in zero-G” story. It’s quite a bit more “porny” than yours - I wish I had your restraint and talent with character development.

Great job, keep up the good work!

Really enjoyed the story. Gave it a 5....just. ending was a tad feeble, but overall it was good.

It seemed like you were really getting the charscters to come to life, but ran out of places to go....not surprising on a spaceship!

Thank you for sharing your work with us.

Man, I really enjoyed this. Nothing too sci-fi heavy, but believably futuristic. It felt real. Lived in. Wonderful example of “show, don’t tell” world-building.

Very well-paced throughout, but then the ending was so abrupt. And that’s fine; wrapping up a story can be very difficult after you’ve reached the climax. (Hehe, unintentional pun) But even with the tepid ending, it was a lovely, sexy story. Keep writing!

Lesbian sex apart, this is the kind of story which might have appeared in the old SF pulp magazines of the 1920s through 1940s. Realistic in so far as it treats the realities and hazards of space travel (anyone thinking it would be all fun riding the spaceways should read this story then have a rethink). Very good story---perhaps you've found your niche here.

This is a very good story, and I really enjoyed it. Thank you! It's difficult to get more intimate than a spacecraft, or a small sailboat traveling a vast distance. If I have any criticism at all it's the very abrupt "and they all lived happily ever after okayseeyalaterg'bye" ending. ':-)

Lovely. Imaginative and well written. Thank you.

This was a well written story. I must admit I’ve read much sci-fi and this is the first story I remember where it was all lesbian tale. Till your next story.

Thanks for sharing this story with us! I tend to prefer first-person narratives, but I was still taken with Zoe's depression and longing. Riley was well-characterized. I'm glad they both got what they wanted in the end, even though it's not exactly a happy ending to be burying your friends.