All Comments on 'Happy Birthday!'

Excellent story so far! Can't wait for more!

i love the premise and i hop that it will continue, well written and a fast read, keep up the good work.

Very enjoyable story - more to come? I fucking hope so!

Great imagination! Humor with a great story line. Very sexy. Keep them coming please.

Kevin appears mysteriously on page 6 of the story. Where did he come from? How was he introduced into the action? Is he the first winner form the viewing public? may need a little restructuring to introduce him properly

It explains in one of the pages before Kevins "mysterious appearance" that he's a neighbor who happens to notice their unsecured network from the IP cameras and taps in, recognises who they are and comes over to ask if he can watch.

Loved it, laughed and thought it had some funny chit in there . Good job/ bill

It was extremely well writen I loved every bit of it. Also I liked the humer in it!! 5 stars all the way!!

Great job. 5 STar.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story, and hope to see more stories from you, either with these characters or new story lines.

Very well done. Would be interesting to see this continue.

this was the best story i have ever read on here! truly amazing and hot as hell!

amazing, i hope to seem more of this coming

amazing, love the story, hope for more

Probably the best story I have read on literotica so far. The only disappointment was when I found this was your only story and there was nothing else to read. When can we expect your next story. Don't keep us waiting too long

Please write more!

There was one incongruity in your story. Mom and dad never went to college, yet mom is a nurse. Other than that, it was an enjoyable read. Cheers...

Please get an editor. Basic spelling and grammatical errors can ruin an otherwise excellent story. I'm very eagerly awaiting more from you.

One of the 10 best stories ever on this site. Please continue to contribute.

damn good story

Nice! But "loose" = not tight. "Lose" = to misplace, or the opposite of win. "Her pussy was loose, but at least he didn't lose his rubber like that time in Sally's tight snatch."

First off, I'd like to say Thank You for the warm welcome and your reaction to my first story! I mean that! It means a lot. Next, I realize I should have edited it a bit better, but I do these stories when I feel like taking a break from whatever other writing project I have going on. Most of these are done in one day. It seems like no matter how many times you go through a story, there's always at least one more error. So try to cut me a little slack, please. Lol. Last, to answer a question that keeps coming up: Yes, there is a part two. It was uploaded a few days ago and should be posted about any time now. I also posted a new story that does not use these characters. Oh, one more thing: I've been told that I was sent private messages. I didn't get them. Feel free to try and resend them. I'll respond to any and all that I see. Again: Thank You!

Regardless if its real or not, the goal is to make it atleast seem real. First stating that your mom is a nurse followed by neither of your parents went to college makes the story come off as fake right away.

If more siblings and their friends with knowjedge and support of family were to openly share in real lifeline, would fundemental trust from extending trust and comfort to include intimacy build and sustain bigger economic opportunities?

Nursing trade school is nothing like college. It's like getting a certificate for learning to be a chef, welder, or auto mechanic. College trains the brain to teach ones self to become an expert at anything a person passionately goes after. Trade school just teaches the basics to do a particular job.

It's really not fake, to read that people didn't go to college and yet have a job as a nurse or something else. I know a lot of ppl who are nurses, cops, security, forklift drivers, drug store (apothecary assistant) etc without studying those courses or even own a certificate higher than high school. I thought it was a great story, the typos didn't bother me at all, it read smooth and fluently,great job, anxiously waiting for more xD

Seriously one of the best stories I have ever read! You have a true talent to get people off!! Very sexy! I can't wait to read more of your work, this story line, or any other. Well done!!!

I don't want to see any of the four girls with another guy, especially Jill. That's just me, I don't like sharing :P

I'm feelig good right now...:D

I'm feelig good right now...:D

When will there be another part ? Xp

I've gotten so many messages, both public and private, wanting to know if there will be more. The answer is Yes, there will be! I can't tell you when they will be posted, because they are not done yet. They will also have to go to an editor first, and that will take some time. I've learned my lesson there! Never again will I submit a story until an editor has a look at it. :) I also have several other story lines in the works. Thank you all for your support!

keep writting. would love to see jack and candy end up together aka dating then getting married.

I am happy to see you say you have more story line coming in this series! The whole set up is perfect for many chapters to follow. I like the idea of the girls and Jack including new people in their webcasts, but hope you keep the truly personal connections limited to just a small group - the original fivesome, mom and dad, and eventually perhaps the extended family that the parents already play with. Very hot story!

I really enjoy your writing style. Thanks for sharing with us!

That ship has obviously sialed, but that image of a woman who does not mow her beaver clean is sexy. Too much keeping up with Joanie's is going on in these stories.

Your writing has a refreshing style and a newish take on the old topic. Been a good read and I will look at your other work as well.

Thanks.

I hope there will be another part soon :)

ihave read alot of stories over the past few years but this isTHE BEST ONE I HAVE EVER READ NOT % STARS 50 STARS PLEASE MORE STORIES

now that would be a real 'life changing 18th birthday'

Insanely sexy. I hope it's real. If not, you're mind is so hot.

Must have a good editor for the book publications. I expected a better command of the language. Possessives, homonyms, contractions, too often wrong.

Stop with the "correct" language use and just enjoy the story!!!

Kind of far fetched but that's what made it a five star story. Truly a story that kept my attention. Thanks.

It was fairly entertaining and enjoyable up until the whole pornsite idea popped out, then adding more guys in. It was already a stretch throwing the parents in the mix, lol. Getting laid aside (well that was a big plus;) the dude was used and played like a tool from the beginning, his dick was so swollen he didnt even see it when they told him! Lol.

I shall never forget these years I was fucking Sue,one of my female married colleague, We were both on the same level sexually.Two years after I had fucked, I had already known her daughter Bella.She had shownme photo of her in bikini and other gala dresses.while fucking I started to tell my mistess that her daughter was very gorgeous. At the beginning she was someone reluctant,but every time I told her that her daughter was surely a good fuck. Bella was 25 yrs old.as time passed on my mistress Sue,became very xcited when I told her that I was fucking Bella,and then she acted that she was Bella and this reinforced our relation.then at my request she started to bring Some Bella'dirty strings. I was in heaven when I smelt and licked the girl panties which had a smell of piss and come.Sue also started to do exactly like me.Our fucking were becoming hotter and hotter.Sue told me that Bella knew about our relation and she was not in good terms with her cold,selfish drunkard Dad.When Sue introduced Bella during a cocktail,when Sue'husband was not there. It was like a "coup de foudre"between me and Bella.Not love but something special. I started to consider her like a daughter, a friend, a special person, Sue knew that I felt something for her daughter. Fortunately she was not jealous because the other woman was her daughter. I often texted Bella ,giving her advices on any subject she felt free to discuss. Gina, ,I had to accept that I was thinking king about Bella as A WOMAN. I wanted to make love to her not "fuck" and I was saying to myself that It was weird on my part to have such ideas on her.Then I had the solution.it was as if ,me and Bella were in a two room building separated by a door.IN ONE ROOM, I would think of her as my "fake dsughter" friend etc,and In the other room, I would think of her as A WOMAN I loved and with whom I would like to make lone,.Later on Bella told me that she was terribly attracted to me and one night when her parents were out for the weekend,I came to see her,We had both drunk 3 cups of wine and when I invited to dance with me,our bodies became closer and closer as she felt my hard on,We started to french kiss and her kisses were so sweet,I shall never forget when I asked her to sit on the sofa and put her legs apart. She pulled down her black satin string,I knelt down and started to kiss her inside legs, then her ass hole, then her pussy lips and when my tongue entered her salted pussy I drank all her pussy moistures,she stared to cry and when I sucked her clito she cried louder and louder,fortunately,it was heavily raining ,she cummed several times and she pull off all the remaining dress off her,I had the view of a very gorgeous woman in her nudity of top model, we made love slowly, sweetly then I have to say that we "fucked "like beasts.During the weekend we fucked a dozen of times. Her Mu does not know about her relation and I have toa to leave it to me.I shall crescendo tell her and I am confident that in some time,I shall fuck both,either in the same bed.or alternatively with each one' kniwledge iff Bella does not want a threesome.

A turn off for me. WHY does a woman want to look like a six year old??? I prefer a WOMAN, not a little girl. Guys are such wimps today...I've even had women say it's for hygiene, then shave you fucking head and took her home way early...

All I can say is if this is true recollection, you are luckier than a dog with two dicks. If it’s imagination, your mind isevery bit as good if not better than Old Als. Either way you,sir, have a lot going for you!

I see the Anonymous family member. below me doesn’t like shaved pussies. Well I prefer a nice furry triangle. But I sure the hell am not going to belittle a lady that is shaved! Her gift to me is still as precious and appreciated as the fur burger. heh. Actually, I know personally a couple different ladies that shave in the summer and grow fur in the winter, makes sense to old Al. Plus we used to have our first day off Spring pussy shaving ceremony. Really it was sex before I shaved her and sex after to be sure I had it just right. lol.

It started out pretty good. But I felt like there was a continuity error during the first round of the card game. One of the girls answers her card by saying that she preferred doggie style because it gave her a feeling of being at the mercy of the guy fucking her. But later on the girls all claim to be virgins. I can only assume that she must have been referring to a time when one of the other girls did her doggie style using a dildo. A better narrative there would have been helpful with avoiding the confusion. 🙄 I can only guess that you don't take a lot of care in plotting out your story before you actually start writing it. 🤔 I learned all about doing an OUTLINE before writing in Junior High School English class. Did you sleep through it or are you just too lazy? 🤔

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The biggest failure on your part was when you got to here:

"I got down behind her and stuck my cock in my mothers pussy! Then I started to pound her as hard as the inexperienced me could."

I immediately stopped reading the rest of your garbage and skipped to the last page. I voted you a big fat 1/5.