Helping Hand Pt. 03

"Says who?! Mom?! Like her and Dad are so fucking good? He can't stand her and she hates his guts. That's healthy? Fuck that. I love you, Beth, and you love me too, don't you?"

"I..." How was I supposed to answer that? If I said yes it would only encourage this further and throw gasoline on her fire, but if I said no it would crush her and it would be a lie. Would it? Of course I loved her. She'd been my closest friend for as long as I can remember, but she wasn't asking about the familial love for a sibling. It goes without saying that I felt more for her than that, but did I love her or did I simply love the idea of her sexually? Sitting there watching her pretty eyes leak, I quickly found my answer. Saying it, however, was a different task. "What does it matter? What the hell would I realistically do about it, even if it was true?"

"Maybe we start dating?

"I don't want a secret romance. That's not fair to either of us, ya know? You can't say you honestly want that? For your first? The sneaking and the lies and--"

"I don't care! It's better than not having you at all!" Carolyn could finally hold herself together no longer. She dissolved into sobs and buried her face in her hands.

My resistance melted some and I placed my hand on her shoulder. It was too much. I didn't have it in me to sit there and watch her heart fall to pieces. "It's not like I'm going anywhere. You know? You'll always have me."

Carolyn sobbed out something I couldn't understand.

"Hey... What?" I stroked her blue and green head.

When Carolyn looked back up I could see where her tears had fallen by the mascara running down her cheeks. "Do you love me?"

"What?" I stalled.

"Do you love me?"

"You know I do--"

"No. Do you love me?" Carolyn's eyes were still full of tears, but they'd grown hard. She wouldn't yield the question.

"That's not fair."

"How is it not fair? It's a simple question with a yes or no answer."

"Because if I say 'no' it'll hurt you but--"

"So it's 'no'?"

"But... if I say 'yes' it'll just cause problems."

Carolyn stared at me. No, she glared at me. Her eyes were squinty and the tremble in her lip was gone. I opened my mouth to speak but only succeeded in making a dry croak. I shrugged instead.

"Goddammit, Bethany, answer me!"

"Yes." I heard myself say, though I didn't think I had spoken.

Carolyn's face softened and she reached out to take my arm again. "Do you?" A smile sprouted in the corner of her mouth.

What have I done? I closed my eyes and let my head fall back onto the headrest. "Yes," I said again, barely above a whisper. And so help me, I did. I really did.

It was very quiet after that. We sat in a comfortable silence; me questioning the life choices that had led me here, my sister trying not to let her smile tear her cheeks. Eventually, I told her to go home. She promised she would see me soon and then departed with a kiss. I left deep in thought, listening to the worn-out engine rattle and screech as I picked my way back through town.

*****

The line of people waiting for breakfast in the cafeteria was long but moving steadily. I stood next to Rory and studied the mural painted by a Rene Hawking in 2003. It was a caricature of the city with the ocean on one side and mountains on the other. A few noteworthy landmarks received their own specific depictions. It was cute and, even though I was quite familiar with all it had to offer, it gave me a certain comfort.

"You've got something..." Rory said, drawing my attention. I looked at them and they brushed at their neck.

"Huh?" I mumbled, reaching up to feel my throat. "Where?"

"Here." Rory reached out and touched my skin. "Oh. Ohhhh! I'm dumb." A small smile grew on their lips.

"What?" I was genuinely confused.

"You've got a hickey on your neck." Rory giggled.

Carol. I lost the battle with the blush creeping over my cheeks. "I don't know what you mean," I said, trying to buy more time to come up with a reason for the mark other than my little sister.

Rory laughed. "Oh come on. Don't lie!"

"It was an ex. We, uh, had a moment."

"Some moment."

Damnit Carol. I could throttle her. I didn't need to ask to know it had been intentional. Marking me as her own. The thought irritated me almost as much as it made my insides flutter. She had to be more careful than that. It wasn't a secret that I was single, I complained about it often, and if I started sporting hickeys questions would follow. I was supposed to meet Olivia for lunch.

"How bad is it?" I asked, rubbing the area Rory had touched.

They smiled again. "Not that bad. I didn't notice until just now."

Great. I held my palm to my throat, wishing I had seen it earlier and done something. A little foundation, a high collar, a stylish summer scarf, something. I had to come up with an idea before lunch now, and--

"Hey, it's just a little hickey." Rory interrupted my spiraling thoughts.

I hadn't realized I was scowling. "What? Oh. Yeah, it's nothing."

When I got the chance, I grabbed a jalapeño bagel and a little package of cream cheese off the food cart and placed them on a dull green dining tray, followed by a carton of milk and a banana, then waited for Rory. The two of us sat down at a small round table. They tried to make conversation as we ate, talking about the latest news around campus, intimate details regarding their sex life, and something about a beach trip, but my head was too consumed with itself to pay attention.

*****

Back in my dorm room, I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. I poked at the dime-sized bruise directly above my collarbone. It wasn't big but it was dark. A teeshirt would nearly conceal it, but not if I moved at all. The foundation wasn't going to cover it much, either. I sighed. It was two days ago but still looked like it was from the night before. I reached into the striped zipper pouch that held what little makeup I owned.

I can at least make it a little less noticeable, I told myself as I pulled out the small bottle of foundation.

Rory's loud voice came, muffled, through the door, "Oh hey! Carol, right?"

Fuck. I dropped the bottle back into the bag.

"Yeah, come in! Oh, she's just in the bathroom. Bethany, your sister's here!"

Thanks Rory. I dug my fingers into my temples and closed my eyes. Not right now. Not today. I hadn't seen Carolyn since that night, nor had I really spent much time with her around other people since we started sleeping together. I could just imagine the complete lack of control my sister showed making a mess of things, but I knew I was completely trapped in the bathroom and decided I might as well get on with it. Maybe this'll be quick.

Carolyn was wearing a white cropped blouse with poofy sleeves and a short black pleated skirt that rested just above the white socks that came up past her knees. Her hair was pulled back into matching tails, one blue and the other green. She knew how I felt about pigtails. She knew how I felt about that look in general. She was trying to tempt me. I took a guess at what she had on under that skirt and felt my insides squirm.

"Hi!" Carolyn chimed and wrapped her arms around me. She was wearing the exact same bra that I was, none.

"Hey," I said as coolly as possible, as she practically danced. The hug lasted a long time and I could feel anxiety spinning webs in my chest. I looked to Rory to see if they were staring at the awkwardness yet. No, wearing a bikini top and a pair of black board shorts, they were focused on the phone in their hands. I allowed myself a smile and stole the chance to give my little sister a squeeze in return.

"In the area again?" I asked, prying her off my body.

"Actually, I thought we might get lunch?" Carolyn offered, "I've got neeeews."

"I--"

"Hey yeah," Rory said. "You guys should come to the beach with us!"

"But--"

"Please!" Carolyn clasped her hands together and gave her best pout. Looking the way she did, I was sorely tempted to give in.

"I've got lunch plans," I said. "I haven't seen Olivia in weeks. Sorry."

"Aw." Rory frowned. "Next time then. Speaking of, I'm out." They grabbed a small beach bag from their bed and slung it over their shoulder. "Nice seeing you again!" Rory closed the door on their way out.

Carolyn wasted no time, throwing herself at me before the door latch clicked.

"Wait!" I cried, but she didn't heed my plea. Like she was made of liquid, her body surrounded me. Her arms slid around my waist, pulling me into her, and up to hold the back of my head, her leg lifted and locked her knee behind my hip, and her tongue made contact with my neck. "Wait, no! No no no, wait!"

"I've been waiting." She panted in my ear. "I'm tired of waiting."

"Carol! Stop..." I involuntarily whimpered when she bit my shoulder. I then realized that my hands were on her hips, not pushing her back but pulling her into me. Her tongue ran up to my ear and a moan escaped my throat.

"Lock the door," Carolyn said, planting heavy wet kisses across my skin.

"It's broken you need to--."

She put her hand over my face and whipped her head around the dorm. Smiling wickedly, she snatched the chair from my desk and wedged it under the doorknob. "Now you're all mine." Her eyes were already fucking me the instant she turned around.

"B-but.. lunch..."

"I think you better reschedule." Carolyn was slowly stepping toward me. Stalking me like a lioness looking to feed.

My face was on fire. All reason to resist had been burned away by my sister's lust. I scooped my phone off the small dresser beside me. Sorry Liv.

Carolyn was starting to circle me, her eyes molten. When she finally lunged it sent me flailing backward onto my bed and my head hit the wall with a solid thud.

"Ow..." I started to complain, but she was immediately on me, climbing onto my lap and straddling my thighs. Through my shorts, I could feel her heat on my legs. I slid my hands up her sides and under the edge of her blouse and smoothly pulled it over her head. Her choice of underwear left me with her perky handfuls of flesh tipped by dark pink nipples in my face. I pulled her to me and wrapped my lips around a hard nub. She gasped and ran her hands up my shoulders to the back of my head. I flicked with my tongue and sucked hard. Her body trembled in my lap.

"Fuck," Carolyn moaned. Her hips began to move, desperately trying to rub her clit against anything she could.

Doing the big sisterly thing, I reached under her skirt to offer some relief. As expected she had forgone panties, too. "Slut," I growled from between her breasts then sunk a pair of fingers into her. She gave a short cry and immediately clamped down on my invading digits. I bit her just next to a nipple and started to fuck her slowly. Her hips still gyrated on my lap as small whimpers and moans leaked from her half-open mouth.

I adjusted from pumping her pussy to firmly circling her clit and she stopped moving completely, her fingers tightening in my hair. Her breath was starting to catch and she was jerking with every pass my fingertips made. My free hand slid over her ribs and up to her face, brushing my thumb against her lips. I switched my mouth to the opposite nipple and bit down. She cried out and began to lightly shake.

"Don't stop," She begged, squishing my face against her body. "God, don't stop." Her hips were jerking, but I kept my hand glued to her sex. I started to whip my tongue across the nipple between my teeth. She let out a long, low moan and began to shake harder in my arms as the orgasm tore through her. Her knees squeezed my hips and as my fingers flew over her clit I felt hot wetness trickle across my wrist and down my thighs. Panting in my ear, Carolyn writhed in my arms, but I wasn't done with her yet. My fingers slipped back inside her as I decided how to continue my barrage. I sent a third digit to join the busy two and she vocalized her approval. Moving my mouth from her nipple, I kissed the soft skin adjacent. Another kiss, higher. Another.

"Kiss me," Carolyn pleaded and raised my face upward with a touch of my jaw. She moaned again when our lips met and I felt her body shudder. "I'm gonna come again." She whimpered against my mouth then bit my lip as her body tensed up in my arms. With a wordless cry, she shook violently, and I felt another hot trickle run down my thighs. Still trembling, she collapsed onto me.

I cradled her gently as she caught her breath. I felt the words bubbling up and this time I didn't try to fight them. "I love you."

Carolyn took a shuddering breath and lifted her head to meet my eyes, "I love you, too." She pressed our mouths together and I felt her tongue play at my lips. I opened to invite her in and a duel began, quickly building in intensity. Her hands snaked under my teeshirt and each claimed a breast, squeezing firmly.

I sighed happily into her mouth and sucked on her tongue. My hands squeezed her thighs and I was, once again, able to solely focus on the beautiful woman before me.

Carolyn grabbed the bottom of my shirt and pulled the garment over my head, throwing it to the floor. I laughed and wrestled her down onto the mattress, pinning her arms to her sides and licking her cheek. She smiled up and me and bit her lip.

"I'm gonna ride your face." I cooed. She nodded fervently and I kissed her again. Then I stood and dropped my watermelon-styled shorts down to my ankles.

I heard the doorknob twist and I froze. Only in this instant did it occur to me how it would look to have locked myself into the dorm with my sister. In slow motion, I watched it open. Open?! The swung outward, into the hall. The chair dropped uselessly to the floor.

"The hell?" Rory bent down and stood the chair back up. Then they pushed it aside, stepped into the bathroom, emerged with a towel under their arm, and reached the door again before they stopped dead. Their head slowly turned until they had an eyeful of my sister and me. "Oh."