All Comments on 'Her Ghosts Pt. 02'

Hi prinnavea. You have a good writing style and a creative story to tell. So, therefore, silly word errors simply detract from your fine efforts. There are a number of errors but the most common is that you don't know the difference between "Your" and "You are" (abbrv to You're).

Examples: "Your in the den." Should be "You're in the den". Plus "And your Chloe.." should be "And you are Chloe.." Or "And you're Chloe.." There are many others.

Keep going with the writing please as you show great promise. Just... get an editor. Cheers.

Chloe has to live with the fact that she is the reason her former husband is dead. her cheating caused him to "go dutch". Now don't let her off with anything easy.

it drove me crazy as you kept writing in first person but changing who that first person was. If your intention is that this whole story is taking place in Chloie's head then don't write from Bobie's prospective. If you had written from the third person POV one could understood it better. I would like to have finished this but couldn't because I never knew who was talking.

it is not getting any clearer what happened to the hubby and where is this story going

Writer you took a great story and threw in some bisexual "almost non consentual" crap. You have lost the plot! @

it sounded like a nice resolution was on the horizon in her counseling sessions, she was about to move on...and her deceased husband was eventually going to let her go for their mutual benefit of moving on....

and then.....the therapist raped?....seduced?....unprofessionally coerced sex outta their patient.....and then some blind girl fingers her in the waiting room? what the actual H E double hockey sticks is this story? It'd be hot if it wasn't tied to her cheating on her new man, and also emotionally stunting herself by people paid to help her.

absolutely right LenardSpencer and I humbly apologize for that. I do know the difference between YOUR, as in belonging to someone, and YOU'RE or YOU ARE. I went word blind proof reading the story too many times. Seems it must have been 100 times. I do make silly mistakes and actually know better. Feel free to point out other mistakes so I can write the story better. Thank you so very much for positive critique.

Ruined by some poor execution of the writer's trade.

but too vague and confusing. Vagueness does not equal suspense. Confusion does not equal drama. Its mostly just puzzling, then tedious. You've turned Chloe into a witless tool to be used by her therapist.

Writing above and beyond your readers may be very artistic, but it can appear aloof, even arrogant. Is that what you intend?

Intriguing, but not enjoyable. Like a really clever puzzle, that after a few minutes perusal you realize, you really don't care enough to try and solve it.

Lesbian crap has it’s own place, and it’s not LW.