- Loving Wives
- Her Turn - Finale (In 750 Words)
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Click hereSadly, I can't blame this chapter on a pitchfork wielding mob of readers in the comment section. Granted, I probably shouldn't have blamed the second chapter on them either. I do appreciate the words of support, but crediting them was just meant to be humorous. I do try to engage with my readers and I want to understand what they like and dislike, but I will continue to write the stories that come to me, how they come to me.
This chapter actually stems from setting up the series to link the first two chapters (which has been "pending moderation" for way too long now). I played around with several things before settling on "A husband, a wife, and the number 3." for the Short Description. A few hours later, a new twist on the number 3 came to me. I tried to ignore it, but it refused to go away, so I decided to write down the synopsis in my writing software. I figured that would be the end of it, as it wasn't even close to a full story. Nope! As I was typing what was supposed to be a short synopsis, I ended up writing out an almost complete first draft. And, it didn't stop there. I kept getting little flashes to fill out the story. Then it hit me another way to bring the number 3 into the story. More importantly, I finally learned their names!
I still struggled with whether or not to post this chapter, but then I realized that you simply can't have a two-part story about the number 3. With that, I felt I must complete the trilogy, not for my readers, but for myself! I hope this "Finale" will bring some proper closure to the story.
"Oh, Kerri, I'm so sorry for your loss."
"Emily! It's been years! What are you doing here?"
"I was driving by and saw the name, so I thought I would join the visitation."
"I'm glad you did. It's great seeing you again. I'm sorry I had to cut ties with all of you. How is the group?"
"Oh, we haven't been a group since the night you read us the riot act and stormed out."
"Really? I didn't think it would be a big deal."
"It started with Jean. She went home and called one of her friends to bitch about you. She didn't hear Roy come in and he recorded her saying she would never be stupid enough to ask her husband to join one of her threesomes. He had her followed and then posted a list of her lovers. When Shelly found out that Larry was on the list, that was two divorces in the group. They both moved back to their home towns and I lost touch with them.
"Then Alice got married within the year. We still keep in touch."
"Wait! Alice, as in Alice who could never find a man worthy of a second date? That Alice got married?"
"Yeah. You inspired her to try batting for the other team. Her and her wife bought a house with a white picket fence, adopted two kids, and are living their happily ever after."
"I guess that would explain why she never could find the right man."
"Betty and Dan are still happily married and acting more like newlyweds than empty nesters. In fact, they renewed their vows the weekend after their youngest started college and took off on a month long second honeymoon. They had a bit of a scare that they would be starting over with diapers again, but it was a false alarm."
"Wow! I can't imagine getting pregnant again at our age. Bobby and I learned that the pill isn't enough, so he got snipped after the three kids.
"You've covered the rest of the group. How's life treating you?"
"My life is good, now. It was tough at first. George really grilled me after the group blew up and kept a very close eye on me for a long time. I think he even hired a PI to check up on me. I was all talk and never actually did anything, so we were able to work through it. It helped that I was already pregnant and the paternity test confirmed it was his.
"Now, enough about us. What happened in your life? You said you have three kids?"
"Yeah, Henry is our oldest, followed by Kathy and Connie. They're around here somewhere."
"How old are they?"
"They're 19."
Emily waited a bit for Kerri to continue, then hesitantly asked, "All of them?"
"Yeah, my one pregnancy was a threesome."
"I think the word is triplets."
"Bobby just calls them his pair and a spare since the girls are identical twins."
"I'm glad you two made it."
"It was rough for a while. It wasn't until the paternity tests came back and he started doting on the children that he finally started to let go of what I did to him."
"If you don't mind me asking, what ever led you to ask for a threesome anyway?"
"Two of my roommates sophomore year were bisexual and shared a bedroom. Occasionally, they would bring in some random guy to join them. My bedroom was next to theirs and it sounded like they all had a lot of fun and the random guy never came between them. I wanted to try it and I thought we would both enjoy having another woman. I was stupid and dismissed Bobby's protests as him just wanting to reassure me that he was happy with me, but my big mistake was letting the group convince me I needed to try two guys to round out my experience.
"Well, it was mostly Jean, but none of you tried to talk me out of it."
"Yeah, the rest of us are still ashamed we didn't speak up.
"So, what are you going to do now that Bobby is gone?"
"Hey, honey. I'm back. Who's this lovely lady?"
Emily turned, only to scream and faint into Bobby's arms.
"I-I-I thought you were dead?"
Kerri couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess you've never been formally introduced. Emily, this is my husband, Robert William Henderson, III. This is the visitation for his father."
- COMMENTS
AA82ndAAabout 2 months agoBest of the 3. Especially like the ending conversation. Nice when the spouse comes the their senses and the marriage survives and then gets better like this scenario.
ReadyOne3 months agoVG.
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When the third part posted, I went back and re-read the parts in order in one sitting. It all worked very well for me.
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Thank you!
Anonymous3 months agoTo quote a comment below "Why bother writing this?" I could ramble on about various things but I'll be succinct. Because it's bloody good that's why. To try and give a picture of what's happening in a situation and put in a twist within a short story is amazingly hard to do. Each of the three parts to this story have done that. Just keep writing please. Keep the ideas flowing and trust us all to your excellent work. Thank you. BardnotBard
Just_Gym3 months agoWhat's with people who complain about free stories?
I read it and enjoyed it enough to give it 5 stars, but if I hadn't I have enough computer skill to hit the back key.
Please keep writing and don't let the negative Nellies discourage you.
IWroteThis4 months agoAuthor"Why bother writing this?" - Anonymous
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I wrote this because it came to me to write. I also wrote this because every story I write and get feedback on helps develop my writing skills. I want and need to improve my writing skills because, sadly, they are not perfect. Sorry, but that means that my stories are not going to be perfect. Some will be better than others. They will (hopefully) get better on average, but I'm not going to promise that every story will be better than the previous one. I'm only human...
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I do appreciate the general comments of dissatisfaction as it's weird to get all praise in the comments and then a low rating that doesn't match. That said, what I would really appreciate is if those comments would be a bit more specific. For example, all of the comments that say it was confusing tell me the story was confusing. However, that leaves me confused as to what was confusing about it. Was it the setting? Was it suddenly giving the characters names? Was it not specifically referring to the group as the girls' night out group? Was it not indicating the time lapse until late in the story? Was it finding out the pregnancy from "Again?" was triplets? Was it all of the above or some combination?
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If you want me to improve as much as I want me to improve, I need specifics. PLEASE!
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That said, I'll still be happy to receive the more generic feedback if you don't want to take the time, or admit that you didn't know what a visitation was...
Anonymous4 months agoI've read 750 word stories that I like. Some are complete. Some are written well. This story is not written well, it is no complete, and it is really bad. Why bother writing this?
IWroteThis4 months agoAuthorI apologize @IEnjoyErotica, but I've had this thing about pointing out grammar mistakes in grammar lessons since about Junior High...
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"I think it is taught, the problem is the students don't learn."
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This is grammatically incorrect. You should either use a period to split it into two complete sentences or use either a semicolon or a conjunction to join the two independent clauses properly.
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@Demosthenes384bc - I guess maybe writing 750 word chapters is cheating. I hadn't really thought about it as the first installment was intended to be the only installment.
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@Prince020402 - I apologize for it being confusing. The setting was not a funeral, but the visitation that often proceeds a funeral. They are sometimes called viewings (if open casket), but that term is not as distinctive as visitation. In fact, I'm not aware of any other formal use of the term visitation than this. A quick Google search confirms that this is the common meaning, so I thought I made it clear early on what the event was.
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The confusion on who was deceased, on the other hand, was intentional, as it was a setup for another instance of revealing the number 3 in their lives. However, the last sentence clearly states it was his father that had passed.
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@inka2222 - Good catch. I should have used past tense, which would have worked since she could have been referring to the point in time when he first did it. On the other hand, if it had been her husband, it would not be surprising for the widow to still struggle with not using present tense to refer to the recently deceased. Mom and I still slip on occasion and use present tense to refer to my Dad and it's been years since he passed.
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"The "her" mistake is jarring, extremely poor grammar. Could have been an editing error, deleting part of a sentence to reword it and overlooking the remnant, but I don't see how that theory works in this case." - Anonymous
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I agree that it is poor grammar. However, I wouldn't call it jarring as many people would not even notice it and some people would even argue it was correct.
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I don't remember the exact wording of the original sentence, but it was originally supposed to be possessive as it was something about her and her spouse's house having a white picket fence and two adopted kids in the yard. I didn't like the way it sounded, so I rewrote it. Other than the grammatical mistake, I think it was an improvement.
Anonymous4 months agoThe "her" mistake is jarring, extremely poor grammar. Could have been an editing error, deleting part of a sentence to reword it and overlooking the remnant, but I don't see how that theory works in this case.
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Children are taught in school how to speak and write correctly, true, but those lessons are weak if not reinforced by parents and friends. If one is raised where poor-grammar is used daily - and never corrected - one grows up speaking poorly.
inka22224 months agoFirst of all, a great continuation and easy 5 stars. Second, I'm glad that particular couple from the first 2 stories made it! Third, I would suggest editing out "Bobby just calls..." - that kind of gave away the surprise ending by being in present tense. Didn't make the story worse, but I suspect as an author you don't want to lower the impact of the surprise twist with slip-ups (assuming it wasn't intentional)
Gardenshed4 months agoAlright another silly story, Triplets = 3some LOL…… I like being confused and actually needing to read and think about the story. Thanks for writing.
IWroteThis4 months agoAuthorWow. I expected this to be the least liked of the trilogy, but I certainly didn't expect it to generate this type of confusion. It would probably help if the series would get approve so they are better linked together, but I thought my foreword made it obvious this was the third chapter in the "Her Turn" mini-saga. I think reading all three back to back instead of them being this spread out would help as well.
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So, first thing, the couple who is in all three stories is Kerri and Bobby. They didn't need names in the first two stories, but they did for this one. It wasn't just for the full name drop at the end to throw in another 3 reference, but because it would be weird to name so many other people and not name them. I thought it was more obvious who was who than it apparently was.
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The group that she is referring to is the rest of the girls' night out group from the first story. They are the ones who talked her into asking for a second, MMF, threesome. The dialogue between Kerri and Emily was meant to do two things. First, although it happened last, was to explain why Kerri asked for each of the two threesomes in the first story and reinforce that they were isolated incidents. Second, and it actually happened in that order, was to throw in the threesome joke about her having triplets from the pregnancy that was announced in the second chapter. Finally, although it came first in the dialogue, was to show the impact within the group. Basically, this story was intended to provide a lot of the backstory that commenters have been clamoring for.
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For those who didn't catch it, the reason that Emily stopped for the visitation is that she saw the name Robert William Henderson on the sign in front of a funeral home announcing the visitation that was happening. Thinking it was Kerri's Bobby rather than his father, who went by Bill, that had passed, she stopped to console Kerri in her loss.
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I hope that cleared up at least most of the confusion and I apologize for causing it.
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"HER and her wife??? Would you say HER bought a house.? See it regularly. Dont they teach grammatical standards in the US?"
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Touche! I restructured that sentence and completely missed changing her to she. Sorry about that.
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That said, "don't" they teach the use of apostrophes in whatever country you call home? (Sorry, but I can't resist pointing out grammatical mistakes in grammar lessons...)
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Now, for the snowflake who flipped out about me including a lesbian...
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"More Lesb category than LW. Another fempov fantasy out-of-place."
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I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you there. There is one member of the original group who is mentioned as becoming lesbian, but she is never actually an active character in the story. I would deserve the abuse I would get if I put this story about a heterosexual couple's life in the Lesbian Sex category, no matter how triggered you are by the mere mention of a lesbian.
