Hero Worship Pt. 06

My cheeks were burning, and I was staring directly at the floor, hands folded in my lap. "Umm..."

"I won't make you answer. But you know the reasons, and they have nothing to do with your bank account. And you love her the same way." She moved over to the couch next to me. "Now I agree that she should not have done what she did without talking to you. But she did it so you could have everything you've ever wanted, because she supports you no matter what. And that is not a reason to drive her away."

She was right, of course. I felt like an idiot. I picked up my phone and stared at it. "How do I fix this?"

"You talk. In person."

I nodded and took a steadying breath.

Me -- Aly, please come back. I'm sorry.

I stared at it for a minute.

Me -- I love you.

A tear slipped free from my eye and landed on my phone, and I looked up at Vicky, who pulled me into a hug.

"I love her, Vicky. I can't lose her."

"Oh, sweet child. You're going to be okay. I know it."

- Aly -

I honestly have no idea how I made it back to the house without crashing my car a dozen times over. Tears were freely running down my face the entire way. Luckily there was no one in the common area when I got there, and I was able to make it up into my room without meeting another living soul.

By the time I fell onto my mattress I felt numb inside. My thoughts insisted on chasing themselves around inside my head, mostly centered around how colossally stupid I'd been. I knew money was a sore spot with her. Just throwing it in her face like that had been beyond idiotic.

I kicked off my shoes and crawled under my comforter. I heard my phone buzz, but I didn't look, instead dropping it into my backpack. Tears found me again, and I cried until I fell asleep.

The light came on and I dimly heard the door close.

"Aly? What are you doing here?"

I looked over at her, and watched Sadie's face change from curiosity to worry as she saw the tracks of my tears. "Oh, God, Aly, what's wrong?"

"I'm an idiot." I turned away from her and buried my head into my pillow, letting the flood come again.

I felt Sadie's weight settle on my bed, and her hand rested on my shoulder. "Sweetie? Tell me what happened?"

I sat up and let my best friend pull me close. After a few minutes I managed to tell her what had happened. I sat next to her after I'd finished, hands folded in my lap and eyes downcast.

"Have you tried to talk to her since?"

I shook my head.

"Has she tried to talk to you?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

She looked around. "Where's your phone?"

My eyes couldn't help but turn towards my backpack, and Sadie fished it out.

"Here."

"I don't want to see."

"You don't want to see what she wrote?"

"I don't want to see if she didn't. If she really doesn't want me anymore."

"What if she does? Look, I agree, you screwed up. But that is not a reason to throw something away. And if she's the one for you, she'll know that, too. Now..." she forced my phone into my hand, "pull your head out your ass and look at your phone."

My eyes were burning, my heart hammering in my chest as I looked at the screen. Two texts, three simple sentences, and a heavy tear fell from my eye. It had been several hours since she'd sent them. Please still be there.

Me -- Can I still come back?

The responding bubble appeared immediately.

Taylor -- Of course, baby.

Seeing the word 'baby' made me almost dissolve right there.

I showed Sadie, who smiled and gave me a one-armed hug. "See? It's going to be fine."

"I think I've got some groveling to do." Of course, groveling for Taylor was likely to be more fun than it should be. I couldn't help a little smile.

The drive over seemed to take forever, and I couldn't remember being so nervous and excited and terrified to see Taylor since the first time. The butterflies were swirling in my stomach as I climbed the stairs. I decided to knock on the door instead of just walking in like I usually would.

I heard footsteps and the door opened. There she was, tall and strong. She was wearing what she'd been before, a coral tank top and knee length board shorts. Her shoulders and arms were so well muscled, and her legs defied description, but the only thing I saw were those eyes, crystal clear blue. I'd seen them hard and full of commanding presence, deep with pain, even ice cold with anger, although the last one had never been directed at me before today.

This time, though, they were just worried and sad. Sad. I'd caused that. I couldn't look at her any more, my eyelids closed and I bowed my head. Two fingers slipped under my chin and lifted my face to hers. She was so beautiful, and I could feel my heart breaking as I looked at her. Then a miracle happened. A smile spread over Taylor's strong features. Not a goofy ear to ear one or a happy, joyful one, but a sad, shy one, one that asked me a very simple question. There was only one possible answer, and I went into her arms and her lips found mine.

We kissed, soft and gentle, and I let myself melt into her.

"I'm so sorry, Taylor." I laid my head on her shoulder and she held me close. "I should never have..."

"It's okay, baby, I shouldn't have gotten angry. I'm sorry, too." I let her hold me for a few more wonderful moments. "C'mon, baby. Let's go inside."

We sat on the couch facing each other.

Taylor looked nervous. "I'm not good at this."

"Good at what?"

"Trying to make a relationship work. I don't know much about it, really. But, Aly, when we have an issue, you can't keep running away. Please."

I nodded, eyes downcast. "I know. It's always my first instinct." I managed a delicate little laugh. "My parents used to tease me about it when I was little. If they ever found me hiding somewhere their first question was 'What did you do?'"

"Really?"

"Yeah. One time I broke this crystal thing my Grandma had given to my parents as a wedding gift, and I hid for over a day."

Taylor laughed and shook her head.

"Seriously. My mom told me later she knew where I was the whole time. But I still slept underneath one of the guest beds all night."

"You're adorable."

"Dad told me later that mom actually thought the thing I broke was really ugly, so..."

I took a deep breath and looked my lover in the eyes. "I'm sorry about not asking you about the money. I really just wanted to help. And I told my dad that you didn't ask for it, that you wouldn't take if I offered. And I made him promise to give you a chance."

Taylor harrumphed. "You think he will?"

"Yes, if I have to make him do it myself. But he will. Promise."

"Okay. I trust you. But about the money, Aly."

"Was I wrong? Would you have taken it if I'd offered?"

Taylor shook her head. "No, probably not. I'd have been too stubborn and gotten angry." She reached over and took my hand "And that would have been wrong." To say I was surprised at that comment would be an understatement. Taylor ran her fingers through my hair as her cheeks colored.

"Sometimes I think that if I'm not taking care of you I'm not doing my job. But then I remind myself you don't need me to take care of you."

"Yes I do! Maybe not with money, but in every way that matters you take care of me." My voice cracked a little as I responded. "You're my center, Taylor. I need you. I love you so much."

A tear slipped free from My Lady's eye, and I could barely see through the haze of my own. She put her arms out and I climbed into her lap, clutching her as she gently rocked me in her arms.

"You know I feel the same, right? That I love you? My precious baby." I just floated there, safe in My Lady's arms, letting her push away the whole world.

Unfortunately the moment couldn't last forever, as my traitorous stomach gurgled reminding me I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

We laughed together for a moment before heading into the kitchen, where we made dinner together. Suddenly it was like the fight never happened, we were just Aly and Taylor again. It's crazy how things like that go, isn't it? I'll admit that I was a little overly, well, everything, I constantly watched her face, hoping for those little smiles that would tell me we're okay whenever we made eye contact, or I'd touch her when I passed by, trying to read her energy.

And every time I did I relaxed a little. We were going to be okay. After we finished cleaning we sat together on the couch, and she pulled me into her lap, my head laying on her shoulder.

"We do still have to talk about this, baby."

"I know."

Her fingers were running gently through my hair, and I wasn't scared. I knew it would hurt Taylor so much if I were ever truly scared of her.

Taylor took a deep breath. "When I was growing up, my dad made all the decisions in my house. He set the budgets, maintained the accounts. If my mother wanted anything she had to ask him, and he never consulted her about anything. A new TV or even a new car, it was what he wanted and what he thought was needed. We learned not to ask for things, or he'd get upset. I don't want that for us." Taylor paused and sighed. "I guess, thinking about it, I'm more like him than I thought. And that scares me, Aly. This thing we do, it frightens me sometimes, how, um...."

"Submissive I am?"

"Yeah. Firstly, I love it, making decisions about where we eat or what we do, the way you look at me when you're trusting me to order for you. Taking care of you. I can't tell you how it makes me feel. But I don't ever want to turn into my dad. This can't ever be a one way street, either way."

"Yeah. I'm really sorry."

Taylor laughed and kissed me on the cheek. "I know, baby, you don't have to say it anymore. But make me a promise. From now on, the big things, things that affect us both, we talk about them first. We make decisions like this together. Okay?"

I nodded, tears in my eyes. She pulled me in for a kiss, and it filled my soul. Eventually she broke away, her perfect blue eyes boring into mine with equal measures of love and command. "But you were a very bad girl, weren't you, baby?"

All of a sudden I could barely breathe. "Yes, My Lady."

"And what happens to bad girls, baby?"

My voice was halting. "They have to be punished."

Taylor nodded slowly. "That's right." I had no idea what she was planning, but I knew it was going to be both awful and amazing at the same time, and that realization made me start to tremble.

Taylor continued. "So tonight we're going back to bed, and you're going to service me, and then I'm going to bring you right up to the point of release, but you are not going to come. Do you understand?"

"Yes, My Lady."

"And every night this week, until your birthday next Tuesday, you're going to spend at least fifteen minutes every night touching yourself, pleasuring yourself while thinking about me, but no orgasms. I have a special surprise for you next week, I want you primed for it. Am I understood?"

Oh, shit how the hell was I going to manage that, especially without any release tonight to tide me over?' But I'd do it. I'd do anything for her. And I knew she'd make it worthwhile. By which I meant abso-fucking-lutely amazing. "Yes, My Lady."

"Good girl. I love you." She gave me a kiss on my forehead. "Now stand up, and remove your clothing for me."

Later that night I lay there, naked in her arms, my body still humming and unsatisfied. She'd brought me to the edge at least three different times, in different ways, and left me hanging each time. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get to sleep. At least she'd let me pleasure her before and after each, which calmed me considerably. I could still taste her, and I concentrated on that as I sought sleep. There was also the touch of her skin, and the warmth of her, all so relaxing.

When I opened my eyes it was still dark out. Taylor's fingers running softly up and down my arm as I swam toward consciousness, and I snuggled into her warmth, my head resting on her shoulder.

She kissed my forehead. "Morning, baby."

"Good morning. You sleep well?"

Taylor gave a sweet little laugh as she pulled me tight. "Yeah. You were amazing last night."

"I was trying to get you to change your mind."

Taylor chuckled. "No way. I do have a confession to make though. I was going to do this to you anyway. I have big plans for next Tuesday."

"You big meanie."

"You love it." Her hand went to my side and tickled me, making me squeal and laugh. Taylor held me tight, refusing to let me escape the sweet torture for several moments before rolling me onto my back covering both my body and mouth with hers. I melted into her kiss. If I just spread my legs a little, yeah, like that Taylor's thigh would start rubbing against me.

Taylor shifted away. "No, no. Nice try though."

I groaned. "Can't I buy my way out of it?"

"See, now, that's what got you in trouble in the first place."

"Sorry, it's just what we spoiled rich girls do."

Taylor smiled for a second, before turning somewhat serious. "So, little Miss Trust Fund, how rich are you, exactly?"

I could feel the blush spread on my cheeks. "It's funny. I never really thought of myself as rich. At least, not until I met you." Taylor glowered playfully at me. "I'm sorry! That sounded bad."

"It's okay."

"I mean, at my high school there were plenty of kids that were from wealthier families than I was. I kind of considered myself average. Maybe a little above average. I have a small trust fund, nothing I could retire on or anything. It's a little less than half a million. Enough to buy a small house, maybe, or get some land and design and build my own." Suddenly I choked up. "And now I think about making something for the two of us. Where you could do your art, and I could come home to you every night. A home, where we could be together, happy. Because without this," I placed my hand over her heart, "it doesn't mean anything."

Taylor shook her head. "Who'da thunk I could fall so hard for a spoiled rich girl."

"So it doesn't bother you? That I have it?"

She stroked my head. "Would you give it up for me? If I asked?"

"In a second."

"I believe you." A smile played across Taylor's beautifully strong features. "I won't ask you to do that, though. My gift to you."

I laughed, and she joined me, and we held each other. And nothing else in the world mattered.

***

It was a seriously long week. Despite me putting forth my very best effort in the shower that morning, Taylor was insistent that I comply with her 'punishment.' At exactly ten o'clock that night I closed my advanced statics book and headed down for a shower, and I kept my promise to My Lady, letting my mind run wild with the things she might be getting ready to do to me on my birthday. Unfortunately, imagining those things made it much more difficult to comply with the second part of her requirement, no orgasms, but somehow I managed it.

Thursday brought our next leadership council. Macie was not happy when Evelyn informed us all that Heather was solidly in my corner, and to my stunned surprise my recommendation was approved and passed on to the alumnae committee by a vote of six to one. Macie looked daggers at me from across the table.

I ignored her, her anger paling in comparison to the reality that I had struck a blow, admittedly small, for the rights of my sisters.

Then came the meat of the meeting regarding the Christmas ball, which would take place the Friday before finals started. Macie stayed in her bad mood throughout, but the other girls were starting to come around, and I was no longer a pariah to most, as new gossip quickly replaced the old. That didn't make Macie happy, either. I thought she'd dropped it. I was wrong. But as the weekend arrived I didn't give Macie another thought.

One of the significant advantages of Taylor having more days off is that she was more willing to take weekend nights off from the warehouse. We spent Friday evening together at a poetry reading at a local wine house. Taylor introduced me to the owners, an older, married lesbian couple named Jackie and Tina. As I looked around I saw several other men and women who were clearly with same sex partners. So I asked Jackie if their business was intended to be for gays only.

She shrugged and shook her head. "No, not particularly, but there's no judgment here, so that draws people. And Tina and I are very active in the LGBTQ+ scene so we get a lot of business that way. Tonight is specific to gay artists, though, so most of the people here will be members of the community. I'm glad you're here, Aly, excuse me."

She smiled and went off to greet another couple that had just entered, and I took in the room.

"You okay?"

I grinned and looked up at Taylor, nodding. "Yeah, yeah I am."

And I was. We spoke to several others who knew Taylor, and she confidently introduced me as her girlfriend, which was wonderful. Everyone was warm and friendly, and I felt so ... comfortable. I held Taylor's hand without a thought about who was watching us. And I felt accepted, a part of a larger whole that I hadn't ever experienced before.

Even prior to meeting Taylor I'd never felt fully connected to the groups I'd been a part of, at least since I was a child. My friends, the sorority, the sports teams I'd been on and helped manage, there was always something that held me back. I knew what it had been now.

The place filled up quickly, and we shared the table we'd sat at with another lesbian couple. We talked during breaks in the reading, sharing how each had met, and they encouraged us with their stories of coming out to family and friends. They were both successful women in their mid thirties, living openly and without fear. At least that's how they appeared to me. They assured me that it hadn't always been a bed of roses, but ten years and two children together, they said it had all been worth it. And no matter what, they always had each other. It made me hold Taylor's hand a little tighter.

When we arrived back at Taylor's apartment it was almost eleven. We got undressed for bed. I actually had some sleep shorts and a top that I kept here, so I looked from Taylor to the drawer in her dresser where I kept them.

"No, no clothes for you tonight, baby."

I tried to keep the happy look off my face. "Will you be wearing anything to bed, My Lady?"

"No, not tonight."

My insides did a little happy dance at the thought of spending the night pressed up against my lover's skin. After we did what we needed in the bathroom, I was warm in My Lady's arms.

"Did you have fun tonight, baby?"

"Yeah, I really did." I snuggled closer. "It was nice. Being around other couples like us. Why haven't we done that more?"

"Because we've been too busy doing other things."

Her hands roamed down my body before tickling my side, making me squirm and squeal.

When she stopped I looked at her sternly, and she sighed. "Honestly, I was a little worried about it. I didn't want to scare you off."

I scowled and propped my head up on my hand. "You took me to a lesbian bar on our first date!"

Taylor chuckled, nodding and conceding the point. "Yeah, but then I was trying to scare you off."

"Really?"

I thought she was kidding, but her blue eyes were sad and apologetic. "Yeah. I thought you were just another straight girl who was going to break my heart, if I let you. Better to get it over with."

"Are you kidding? I was enraptured by you."

"That's how it usually started, then they couldn't run fast enough."

"I'm not running Taylor. I want to be with you."

Taylor's eyes were heavy with emotion, and I lifted my chin and touched my lips to hers. She returned my kiss with a passion that took my breath away, and for a few blissful moments I lost myself in her. I could taste the wine she'd had at the poetry reading, and I smelled her light cologne, along with just the faintest hint of the sea from her skin and hair.