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THE END.
- COMMENTS
IAmControl7 months agoAmazing writing, well done! The goal was clear here and you achieved it and then some, and you clearly have a knack for the long form format (although this might have been a bit oversized for my liking, I do personally tend to prefer shorter content)
There were a couple of typos (if you ever want a fellow EMC author's editing or feedback, consider my hand up!) and some slight plot points that personally stuck with me (no exposition on the origin of the room, no mention of changed priorities after achieving "Sex with Ashley" - I'd have liked to see him, in the prologue, go into the room to see, perhaps, "Sex with My Sex Slave Ashley" or "Dominate my Sex Slave Sister", as well as "Enjoy and Be Happy with my Sex Slave Sister" or something similar have replaced Sex with Ashley now that that had been achieved - indeed, long before the ultimate conclusion) but these were by no means deal-breakers for me.
If I were to add anything, it would be a prologue some six months to a year or so later, where we return to see Jacob now living in a nice place with Ashley ever at his side, perhaps with some additions like piercings or tattoos (demeaning, of course, perhaps a womb tattoo or some "cum here" arrows) in which we see Jacob grow curious about the room to discover what his--and Ashley's--priorities have become. I'd have him go home only to find no room where it once was; confused and a little worried, he returns home to his slave, and is in the process of slamming her down on the couch when he notices a door in the old brick wall, like a wine cellar. Surprised he hadn't remembered it and not remembering it being on the sales plans, he quickly unloads into his slave and checks the door, to find it leading down a short flight of stairs to a tiny, windowless room... Where two solitary cabinets stand. (To me, this indicates some inexplicable attribute that follows Jacob around, allowing him this inexplicable control over his household. We can speculate on whether this is magical, perhaps some genetic or familial curse or power, or just an "all in his head" projection.)
Ultimately this was a fantastic story, and as someone generally not into incest or longer form content, this still gets full marks from me - the concept, dedicated slow burn, sexy interactions and ultimate, complete satisfaction of achieving everything it set out to do were stellar (and I will readily admit, had me finishing twice in a session, something rare for me!)
Applause from me and keen to read the next one!
Imnotreallyherenow8 months agoAbsolutely wonderful read. Got a little wordy in places, but a true gem.
