Holiday Hammer Blow

"I'll try. I can't promise anything, but I will try."

Sex did get better, but the intimacy was gone. We no longer made love. We fucked, or had sex. I used to love eating her pussy. I used to spend ages just lapping her sweet gorgeous little pussy, but now the thought repulsed me.

She noticed, as well, and actually asked me several times. I never did. Other forces were at play, as well. Yes, she kept her promise about keeping the others out of our lives, but nothing runs smoothly. Mum's sixtieth birthday was coming up, and one day as we were all at her place planning for the party, she announced, "David, my love, I want to invite Paul, and Gary. Will that be all right?"

I could see Kelly's eyes on me as I bit back. "No, Mum, It won't be all right. Not with me."

She sighed wistfully. "Sweetheart. He was your best friend. Don't you think it's time to bury the hatchet?"

"If he turns up here, while I am here. The hatchet will definitely get buried."

My eldest sister, Lilly, muttered, "You're a bloody child, Dave. He's our friend, too, and Mum wants to invite him."

"Well, she can't."

Mum intervened. "No need to fight. I'm sorry you still feel so bitter. I hope time will heal that wound."

A month after the party we received an invitation to Elise's birthday party. It turned up in the mail and Kelly left it laying on the kitchen table for me to see. I just ignored it. Three days passed before she said. "Did you see the invite to Elise's party?"

"Yes, I saw it."

"Well, what do you think? Can we go?"

"No, we can't."

"Dave, please. This would be the perfect chance to put everything behind us. There will be lots of people there. You don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to. She was my best friend."

"I don't care who's going to be there. We aren't."

I think she saw the hatred in my voice. Over the next several moths there were lots of similar invitations to events. Any that I knew, or thought, Elise or Gary would be attending, I refused. It was the arrival of Kelly's twenty-eighth birthday that stretched the rubber-band past breaking point.

With the date fast approaching, she asked, "Can we have a party for my birthday?"

I nodded. "Of course we can. It would be nice to get some people in."

She didn't wait. She dived straight in. "Can I invite Maike?"

"No."

Why not? She did nothing wrong?"

"She did, actually. She betrayed me as much as any of you. She knew what was going on and said nothing."

"That's not fair, she didn't know what to do. It's not fair to blame her."

"You can paint it anyway you want, but she knew what was happening. She could have told me at any time and I could have tried to stop it. She chose not to."

"Babe, I want to invite the whole gang. I want our lives back. Remember all those wonderful parties we had? All the evenings we spent together? I want that back."

"Not happening, Kelly. Sorry but the answer is no."

"Christ, you have become so rigid and insufferable. I have rights, as well. You are not the only person in this relationship. What I want is important, as well."

"I don't know what to say, Kelly. If you can't abide by your commitment to me then perhaps we should reassess."

She said nothing.

The following evening she returned home from work and she looked terrible. She put down her hand bag and stood leaning against the breakfast bar counter. "Dave, I want a divorce."

I was getting some lettuce from the fridge at the time. I stood slowly, staring at her. "Okay."

"What, that's it? No fight, no shouldn't we try harder? That's it?"

"Kelly, we tried. I was ready to walk away after you cheated. Trying again was your idea. I have tried to make this work, but it's too hard."

"You tried, bullshit, what have you tried? You turned your nose up at counselling."

When she got like that there was nothing to do but hold on. "You have tried nothing. All I wanted was our friends back in our lives. The others had no difficulties with what happened. You are the only one who complained. Maike never got anything out of that weekend, but she didn't kick up a fuss like this."

"I don't care about Maike, I don't care about other people. I do care about us, about you. Let's not forget, you agreed to leave them behind. If you want to choose them over me, then what can I say?"

"I'm not choosing them, but I can't live like this. We have no friends, no social life. But that is only one element of this. Our lovemaking sucks. We don't make love any more, all we do is have sex. God, when was the last time you went down on me?"

Irritated by her laying all the blame on my doorstep I retaliated. "I'll tell you exactly. The day before you went off on your dirty weekend with Gary and he left love bites all over your thighs. That was the last time."

"What? Just because he went down on me you won't? Jesus, Dave. How weak is that. He fucked me as well you know?"

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm well aware of that. You told me how good it was, remember?"

She shook her head, obviously unhappy with this as an outcome. What did she expect, she would demand a divorce and I would just fall at her feet, change my mind and give her whatever she wanted?

We sat together and I dragged out the papers I had already filled out. "All right, Kelly, do you want to keep the apartment?"

She nodded. "Yes, if you're not prepared to fight, and want to move out then yes, I want it."

"Done, I will be gone tomorrow." I stated tersely.

"Dave, you don't have to rush off. Why not stay till after the party?"

"Don't you want to invite all your friends?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't stay."

"Oh yes it does. I will move tomorrow. I can get a place through work."

She wiped away a little tear as I checked our bank balance. I'll take ten grand, that's half, are you going to be okay with that?"

She nodded again. "I'll take my car and my bikes. You keep all the furniture. Is that fair?"

She nodded again. "I'm sorry, Kelly."

"Me too. Dave, I hate this, I feel like you just gave up." Her whole body shivered as she sobbed.

"I know I fucked up, Dave, I know it was a mistake, a stupid thing to do, but I have apologised over and over. I have said sorry so many times it's not funny. Was it too much to ask that we actually tried?"

"I don't know what to say. I tried to forgive you, but in the end it was too much. I couldn't do it. I hate you as much today for what you did as the day it happened. Sorry, Kelly."

"Could we at least try to be friends? I'm still going to be part of your family's lives. I love your Mum, and Di and Lilly. They are my sisters."

"No, once I walk out that door, I'm gone. If you want to be part of their lives, all good and well, but I will never speak to you again."

Her look of horror was like I had slapped her. "Christ, you cold bastard. I never knew you could turn into this evil unbending arrogant shit. You used to be the most caring warm wonderful man. Now, you're just an empty shell."

"Yeah, well look in the mirror next time and ask yourself why."

"Oh, for heavens sake, it was just sex. The others, even Maike, were able to accept and move on. It was always just going to be a one off thing, just a wicked little adventure. It didn't mean anything. The world didn't end."

"It did for me. Look Kelly. It wasn't some exotic adventure, there was no fun in it for me. I think I might leave now. I'll come back for my clothes and personal stuff tomorrow."

"Where are you going to stay?"

"Mum's place."

"What are you going to tell her?"

"The truth, you asked for a divorce and I agreed."

"You're going to make me the bad guy then."

"Nope, I'll say it wasn't working. We tried and failed. End of story." I walked over, leaned in close and gave her a kiss. "Goodbye, Kelly. Live a good life."

I walked out and never looked back. My mother was disappointed. There were tears.

I decided to move to Herne Bay. I was able to find a flat through work and was moved within the week. Life started again. I tried to treat it like that: Wipe Kelly from my memory banks. I moved offices as well. I now had my license and a position arose in the Ponsonby branch.

Turns out, I was actually pretty good at selling real estate. I worked well with numbers and what I lacked in syrupy charm, I made up for with good business acumen. I also liked to work out good outcomes for people.

On a personal level, I did date a few birds, nothing serious. I managed to get enough sex to stop my balls from exploding. It was difficult, though. The one thing I hadn't managed to do was excise the demons that Kelly infested my head with. Trust: I now struggled to trust women. I developed a hard shell to protect myself.

That changed though when I met Tabitha, Tab, as we all called her. She was the new property manager in our office. She was a few years older than me, but still an attractive woman. Fit and active, she had a nice figure. She was a cheeky bugger, flirty but good fun.

At first I didn't see her as a romantic interest, not because of her age, more that she was so outgoing, so flirty. Not just with me, but with all the men in the office. I didn't like that she flirted with the married men. I was the only single guy. The rest were all married.

Things were a bit tense at first. I think she was used to all the guys falling at her feet. I mean she wasn't startling, she was attractive without being a stand-out. What separated her from other women was her personality. She was such good fun.

After she had been there a few months she caught me in the lunch room. "What are you doing for the weekend?" she asked.

"Going mountain biking, What about you?"

"Oh, not much. Netball in the afternoon, then going out with friends for dinner."

"Dinner huh, a date, is it?"

"No, just dinner with friends. Would you like to come along? I could use a partner, that way they won't try to set me up with somebody."

"You want me to be your decoy, a pretend boyfriend?"

With a warm smile she said. "Yeah, something like that."

"I would, but I have to get my hair done."

With mock sadness she replied. "Why are you playing hard to get? You know you want me." The hint of a smirk made her mouth twitch.

I chuckled softly before saying, "I want you, do I?"

"Well, don't you?"

"No, not really. You're not my type."

"Oh, you have a type, do you?"

"Yeah, anyway, you're not interested in me. I'm not married."

That made her choke back her response. "What did you say?" Her voice a venomous hiss.

"Look, Tab, I've seen you flirting with all the married guys. Seems to me you have no scruples, or ethics. I'm not judging, it just doesn't appeal to me."

"Not judging, bullshit. You seem to have made your mind up about me before we even get to know each other."

She looked pissed off. "Why did you say that? Just because I flirt a little, I am some kind of slut? Jesus, do you think I'm sleeping with them?"

I shrugged. "As I said, I'm not judging, just making an assessment."

"I like to flirt, big deal."

"Sorry, Tab, I just like my women to have a little more substance, a little depth."

"God, you judgmental prick. I rescind my invitation. You can go fuck yourself."

She stormed off, leaving her coffee on the table. Wow, intense.

We stayed away from each other for a while, keeping our distance. One day as I was leaving I found her trying to change a flat tyre.

"Need a hand?" I asked.

She glanced up snarkily. "Not from you."

I bent down and helped her anyway. There was no way she was going to get the lug nuts undone. As I pushed her out of the way, I asked. "Don't you have roadside assist?"

"Yes, but I couldn't remember the number."

I changed the tyre and she gave me a nod of acknowledgement. "Thanks, appreciated."

I waved off her thanks. "No worries, glad to be of assistance."

She gave me a smile; god, when she smiled she was pretty. "Would you let me say thanks by buying you dinner? Or don't you eat with sluts?"

"Actually, I'm famished. It's been a big day. So, yeah, why not."

During dinner we talked about life and what we were doing, where we were hoping to go. She said she was planning to be the richest woman in the world. She already owned three houses.

"Three, shit, how the hell did you manage that?"

As she picked away at her food, she replied. "Hard work. I was left a small inheritance, brought my first place with a big mortgage, then when I had equity in that one, I brought another, then two years later did the same again. They are all rented out."

"Wow, well done you."

"Thanks, I love real estate. What about you?"

"I got into it by chance. It was never my dream job; I just sort of fell into it."

"Well you've done well. You are definitely making every post a winner. The guys in the office all love you."

When I didn't respond she asked. "How come you're not married? You seem to be a good catch, not bad looking for a stuck up bastard, successful."

"I'm divorced, actually."

"Oh shit, sorry. What happened."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, that's why you're so cold. She hurt you, aye?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it. What about you?"

"Oh, no secret. I have been in a few relationships, but I guess I am hard work, or something. Maybe I just choose arseholes."

We both laughed and we moved on. That led to a couple of other dates, and eventually, after a few too many drinks we ended up in bed. It was frantic, passionate and the best sex I could remember.

Laying together in post coital bliss she let out a huge breath. "Wow, that was good."

"Good, shit, I can hardly breathe. You were incredible."

That was it, we sort of became an item. It was weird. I never really considered her my girlfriend. It was like we were both fulfilling a need for the other. Not just a sexual need, although that was certainly up there. No, it was an emotional connection. Not love, but really good friends.

Tab was a mad keen netballer. Her club, Rifles, won the Auckland championships and to celebrate they held a huge party. "Come on, Dave, I don't want to go alone." She pleaded. "If I don't have a date, they will set me up with some loser."

"Yeah, okay already. I'll go."

"What, no fight? Were you worried about my friends setting me up with somebody else?"

"No, I just didn't want you to look like the loser you are."

That's how I ended up at their party. When I walked in I was blown away. It was a huge deal, they had a live band and there must have been two hundred people there.

Tab was quick to hold my hand and lead me over to her group of friends who were all gathered in a group over by the bar. It was dark, strobe lights flashing, disco balls, so hard to make out faces.

Tab pushed me into a circle of about five or six women and a few men. "Hey, bitches, this is my date, Dave. Dave, meet the team."

There was a chorus of hey, and hi. The guys all shook my hand and welcomed me into their little circle. It was when Tab introduced me to the girls that I got the shock.

"Dave, what are you doing here?" Kelly asked.

"What the fuck are you doing here, is more the question?" I spat back with real animosity.

She smiled, swished her hands down by her side. "I'm the wing attack."

Tab looked confused, and asked. "Do you two know each other?"

I nodded, "Yeah, we're old acquaintances. I need a drink, I'm going to the bar, do you want something?"

She gave me a strange look before nodding. "Yeah, Southern Comfort and L&P thanks."

I nodded and walked off. Fuck, that was the first time I had seen her since I walked out that day. I certainly didn't expect to meet her there.

Leaning across the bar, I ordered the drinks and saw Kelly and Tab in a deep huddled conversation. Fuck. I watched them as They both gave me furtive looks, The shocked look on Tab's face said it all. Then the other girls leaned in and the whole group was getting the story of our divorce.

Kelly, if anything, had got better looking. I'm not sure how, whether it was the netball, or whether she was taking better care of herself, but she looked amazing. Her hair glistened, her skin radiated in the light. Her figure, holy shit, she looked hot.

I carried Tab's drink back and handed it to her before turning to walk away. She grabbed my arm, "Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm just going to have a look around. Leave you to talk to your friends." I walked off in a hurry. I felt unsettled by Kelly's presence. I had tried so hard to push her out of my mind, but just a simple meeting and I was trembling and all the old emotions flowed to the surface.

I found a bunch of guys watching football and fell in with them. I watched Tab and her group as they laughed and joked. Kelly and her seemed to be pretty close, they hung onto each others arms as they giggled and set about getting smashed.

The drinks in their group were flowing. It was the first time in six years Rifles had won the competition, so the drinks were going down fast.

There was a presentation for them up on the stage, they all received medals, and a large cheer from the crowd.

After they got down, Tab finally wandered over and dragged me out onto the dance floor. It was all fast bouncy stuff, and we were soon joined by her team mates, including Kelly.

Tab held onto my hand as we bounced around. Kelly kept pushing into us. She was pretty drunk. Tab opened her arms and grabbed her dragging her between us. Having her there pissed me off, so I wriggled out of Tab's arms even although she tried to stop me.

I stumbled away and she yelled out. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Toilet." I called back over my shoulder. I did go to the loo, but then headed back to the bar. As I was waiting for my drink Tab came staggering drunkenly over. She fell against me as I propped up the bar. "Why are you hiding over here. Come on over and hang with the team."

"No, it's your night. You should enjoy it with your teammates."

"But I want you to meet them all, I want to show you off."

"No, I'll give it a miss, thanks all the same."

"No, you have to come." She tugged on my arm, "Come on, don't worry about Kelly. She told us the story. We don't care."

She was pretty drunk, so I just pushed her away. "Stop it, Tab, you're making a fool of yourself."

She snatched her hand out of mine and snapped. "ME! It's you that's being the dumb arse."

"Well, if that's the case I think I'll go."

I threw back my drink in one easy go and trudged off out the door. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long for a taxi.

I curled up in bed and tried to get to sleep. It was hard; seeing Kelly stirred up thoughts and emotions I hoped I left behind. I managed to convince myself I had moved on, but seeing her again, no, I hadn't.

I did manage to get to sleep, god knows what time it was when I was woken by the pounding on my apartment door. I stumbled out to find Tab, drunk, messed up and looking very sorry for herself.

I dragged her in before the neighbours complained.

I made her a coffee as she complained, "Why did you run off?"

"I have a ride tomorrow and I didn't want a late night."

"Nothing to do with Kelly, then?" She groaned.

"Forget Kelly, I have."

"No you haven't." She teased. "I saw the look in your eye. You're still burning a torch for her, aren't you?"

"No. She is just a speck of dust on my rear vision mirror. She means nothing to me."

We finished our coffee in silence. "Can I stay the night?" she asked, as I took away her empty cup.

"Yeah, of course."

I helped her get undressed as she staggered around drunkenly. The moment we lay down in bed she started complaining. "Oh shit, the world's spinning." She giggled a little, "Slow down world,, shit, I want to get off."

I thought she was going to be sick, but some how she managed to keep it down and in no time flat was sound asleep.