Homeomorphism - Prelude

"Um..." Hayley began, unsure of what to say. Before she could think of anything, Sophia spoke again, her voice cracking.

"I didn't mean to do that." It dawned on Hayley that Sophia was apologizing for teasing her and she felt her stomach sink.

Sophia lived her life with a permanent smile plastered across her face - a genuine smile. She would fill every room she was in with sunshine and the smell of flowers like she was a goddamned Disney princess. Hayley could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Sophia cry, each time because she had inadvertently hurt somebody, and every time it made Hayley feel awful, the sadness infecting her. She just wanted to hug Sophia and tell her to stop worrying, that everybody makes mistakes, and she was still a good person. But Hayley never did. She couldn't. Whether it was because she thought her reassurance wasn't wanted, or because she was afraid her advice would just make things worse, or just because she felt like inserting herself into Sophia's sorrow without permission would be an invasion, drawing attention to Sophia that she didn't want, Hayley could never bring herself to say what she wanted to say. But this time Hayley wasn't just an observer, she was the cause. It was her fault Sophia was feeling this way. She had to fix it.

What do I say? Do I tell her that I didn't care? Do I tell her that I'm not mad? That I'm not uncomfortable? Will she even believe me?

With every passing moment Hayley grew more and more aware of her own silence as she left Sophia to drown in guilt. Hayley needed to save her, but she was too afraid that her words would just weigh Sophia down, dragging her deeper.

What do I say?

Hayley didn't say anything. Instead, she leaned forwards and wrapped her arms Sophia, turning her around and pulling her tightly so her face rested against Hayley's chest. This was the only thing she could do right now. She felt Sophia tense for a moment before letting her body go limp, crying into Hayley's shirt as she stopped trying to stifle the tears.

"I'm sorry" Sophia said again, her words choked and muffled. Hayley responded by tightening her grip, trying desperately to show Sophia that everything was ok, feeling Sophia wrap her arms around Hayley in return. They sat there for a moment, just holding each other, before Hayley finally felt the courage to speak.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I promise."

"I was ju-just trying to be fun-ny."

"I was having fun," Hayley said, letting out a little laugh in hopes that it would show Sophia she was being honest. She was. Maybe it was just the product of her arousal, but Sophia's teasing truly hadn't made Hayley uncomfortable. Sophia didn't say anything in response.

Shit.

Did Sophia not believe her? It dawned on Hayley that she hadn't said anything when Sophia attacked her with her tongue. In fact, she had been too distracted by the sensation to react at all. Of course Sophia didn't believe her. From Sophia's perspective she had just seen Hayley freeze. Sophia always knew she had gone too far when the person she was teasing stopped fighting back. To her it must have looked like Hayley was consumed with disgust or fear or anger or some other horrible emotion.

Without thinking it through, Hayley blurted out "to be honest I was just waiting for you to finish the job," well aware of the double entendre.

A moment passed and Hayley filled with fear, her heart practically punching Sophia in the face. Was that too far? As if in answer to her question, Sophia looked up from Hayley's now soaked shirt, a nearly imperceptible look of mischief crossing her face.

"I'm just saying," Hayley continued, shrugging, "you're the one who couldn't catch the ice cream in her mouth so...it sort of seems like your responsibility to clean it all up." Through the dim light of the TV, Hayley could see the fire reignite in Sophias eyes.

"Well I ha-have to leave you something to remember me by," Sophia said quietly, her voice still cracking a little. Hayley felt a giggle escape as her body was overcome with relief. This was the Sophia she knew. Hayley quickly regained her composure, not wanting to derail their exchange too early.

"Right. As if you don't give me enough to think about already."

Sophia grinned at her, "whatever could you mean."

Hayley scoffed, she had run out of comebacks. Sophia hadn't. She was sitting up now, conspicuously pushing her small breasts together with her arms and batting her eyelashes at Hayley. "What do I do Hayley?"

Hayley had always thought Sophia was cute. To be fair, everybody thought Sophia was cute. But something was different tonight. Maybe it was the smeared mascara around her eyes that made them look especially pleading. Or maybe it was her hair, messily falling over her shoulders so it framed her face perfectly. The light of the television fell across the curves of her body, making her look especially smooth. Hayley realized she was staring. She quickly looked away, exaggerating her motion to make it look like she was staring as a joke.

"Don't mind me, just taking a mental picture for later tonight."

"Oh, I see. You want a better picture?" Sophia playfully pulled the strap of her tank top over her shoulder.

"Don't tempt me." Hayley stood up from the couch, taking advantage of her newfound freedom. Sophia did her best to hide her concern, but it flashed on her face long enough for Hayley to see it.

"Aww, you gonna miss me?"

The concern on Sophia's face had already turned back into playfulness. "I'm gonna miss my pillow."

"Don't worry, I just need to clean up since somebody won't do it for me." Hayley made sure to stare Sophia directly in the eyes, stating her intent to win this interaction, before spinning around and walking to the kitchen.

"My services aren't free" Sophia shouted after her.

"As if you're not looking for every little excuse to touch me." Hayley felt a sense of pride as she heard Sophia stumble over her words trying to come up with a rebuttal before giving up. Hayley decided to push it further, reveling in her victory.

"I mean, I'm seriously starting to think there's a little closet lesbo somewhere in there."

"Call it wishful thinking," Sophia replied.

Damn it.

Hayley should have just taken her victory and run.

"Seriously though" Sophia continued, "you think I'd put up with guys' bullshit if I didn't have to? I think I have a legit, like, chemical dependency on dick or something."

Hayley chuckled wryly.

"Now...if you had a dick? I actually don't think I'd be able to control myself."

Hayley didn't feel the rag fall from her hand but she heard it hit the ground with a splat. She felt like she was about to pass out. A thought crossed her mind. A thought she hadn't had since 6th grade.

No.

She had made a promise to herself. She shoved the thought deep into the back of her mind, burying it beneath six feet of anger and despair where it could never escape, before taking a deep breath and leaning down to grab the rag.

"Call it wishful thinking" she eventually said, hoping the shakiness in her voice wasn't audible as she returned to the couch.

Before Sophia could continue the conversation Hayley grabbed her ice cream off the coffee table and took another scoop, holding it in front of Sophia's face.

"Here, try a bite that's not contaminated."

Sophia, seemingly satisfied with where the conversation ended, obliged, making sure to clean the spoon entirely before releasing it from her mouth. She held up a finger as she swirled the ice cream around in her mouth and, only after swallowing it, said "I swear to God Hayley, when you have real ice cream for the first time it's going to blow your mind."

"Fuck you," Hayley laughed, taking her seat on the couch and letting Sophia get comfortable on her legs, "this stuff is good."

"Jesus, we missed like half the episode" Sophia said in realization, grabbing the remote and rewinding to the last point she remembered. Hayley decided not to mention that she hadn't been paying attention since the very start.

The two of them ended up watching nearly 3 full episodes. Well, Sophia watched, at least. Hayley couldn't take her eyes off the supple figure of her roommate, the curves of her body sprawled across the couch. She would mimic Sophia's reactions to maintain the illusion of her attention, but all she could think about was how good Sophia's skin felt against hers. How soft and gentle her hands would feel caressing Hayley's body. Stroking her. Sophia's legs looked so long. So tight. Suddenly Hayley felt Sophia's face burrowing once again into her crotch, rubbing herself all over Hayley's desperate cock. But as she moved her gaze up Sophia's body, Hayley was shocked to see Sophia's head resting still on her legs.

In spite of what her eyes were telling her, the sensation didn't go away. It was like everything she felt the night before had been stuffed haphazardly behind a door, only to come tumbling out all over Hayley as tonight's arousal opened the door. She desperately fought the urge to thrust against Sophia's invisible face, taking long, deep breaths to calm her swelling cock. She should leave, but her body begged her to stay, so she did. It wasn't until Melanie returned that the two girls realized how late it was.

"Have fun?" Sophia said, pausing the episode only she had been watching.

"More fun than you two," Melanie replied, heading straight for her room.

"Are you ever gonna give me a turn with him?" Sophia shouted after her.

"Sorry, I don't think he fucks bimbos."

"Ohh, so he doesn't actually know what good pussy feels like, huh?"

Melanie held a middle finger up behind her as she disappeared into the hallway, followed soon by the click of her bedroom door. Sophia held up the remote to resume the episode before exclaiming "oh shit, it's already 11. I got early class tomorrow."

The rational part of Hayley's brain was overjoyed at an excuse to retreat to her room, but lurking beneath was a part of her that wanted to stay with Sophia all night. She stood up before the desire could grow any greater.

"Night, Soph." As she walked to her room, she heard a soft voice behind her.

"Hey, Hayley?" A pause. "You'd let me know if I ever made you uncomfortable, right?"

Haley turned around and walked back to the couch, squatting down so she was at eye level with Sophia.

"You wouldn't hear the end of it" she said, grinning. Sophia smiled. God, her lips looked so soft. Hayley gave her another hug before departing once again.

"Night, bitch" Sophia said.

***

Hayley couldn't fall asleep. Memories of Sophia danced through her mind. How she had smelled. How she had looked. How she had felt. At seemingly random intervals, Hayley would feel the sensation of Sophia's face against her cock return. With every new memory or sensation, Hayley felt the truth of her situation, the extent of her condition, grow more apparent until it was a flashing neon light in her mind. Hayley thought her arousal had given up, surrendering itself to her will. She thought she had destroyed it. But in reality, it had just retreated, planting itself invisibly in the back of her mind, biding its time. And as soon as something new triggered her, launching a fresh assault of arousal, the dormant arousal joined, too, doubling the intensity. Like a wave crashing on a wave. Even if Hayley could force that new arousal back into the shadows of her mind, it would only be until something else broke the floodgates, the arousal of three or four or 100 days attacking her simultaneously.

Hayley felt hopeless.

No.

She felt like she should feel helpless, but she didn't. She couldn't. The emotional burden of the past two days had drained her entirely, leaving her feeling empty. Instead, she hardly felt it as this new reality slowly sank into her brain, planting itself there as the warm embrace of sleep finally took hold. By the time she woke up the next morning, she had fully accepted the pointlessness of battling her arousal as if it were just another fact of life.

***

The following days were an unending assault on Hayley's arousal, only confirming her realization. She had trouble paying attention at school, devoting nearly all her focus and energy towards repressing the ever-growing desire lurking in the depths of her mind. By the time she would return home each night she would have no more energy left to fight, resigning herself to her room where she would just lie in bed, unable to sleep as the arousal consumed her thoughts. It was exhausting.

What upset her the most was that none of the situations triggering her arousal were unusual. The teasing from Sophia or the feeling of her cock pressed tightly against her shorts or being surrounded by half naked women in the locker room of a track meet were all things she had experienced a thousand times before. But now Sophia's teasing had become a taunting reminder of what Hayley couldn't have. Her shorts became an ever-present sensation against her cock. Her teammates' bodies all became objects for her to lust after.

Despite her exhaustion, she refused to satiate her arousal. Every day it grew greater and greater in her mind, but it still couldn't compare to the loathing she felt towards her cock. It wasn't even the thought of masturbating that disgusted her. She had always thought the act was debased, no better than gorging herself on a meal, desperately chasing the simple pleasure it would provide. But now it would be serving a purpose. If masturbating with her pussy is what it took to recenter her life, so be it. But the idea of using her cock, stroking it like a stupid man, filled her with rage. So, Hayley bore her cross, praying every day that her body would just exhaust itself and end the arousal.

Miraculously, by Friday of the following week, Hayley felt as though her prayers were being answered. The arousal hadn't gone away. In fact, it was stronger than ever, but Hayley's body had started to adjust. The situations and sensations Hayley had been feeling the week prior were no longer novel to her. The feeling of Sophia's face against her cock still sent a shiver down her spine, but after 12 days it was almost becoming routine. Furthermore, each new moment of arousal felt less and less prominent to Hayley. This wasn't because they were having any less of an effect on her, but because, as the pile of arousal in her mind grew greater and greater, each new addition became a smaller and smaller part of the whole, like adding a cup of water to a swimming pool. As a result, the feeling of arousal had begun to plateau, allowing Hayley to do what she does best - adapt.

Just the same as training a muscle in the gym, Hayley was training her body to resist the arousal and her mind to control it. After a particularly embarrassing biology test the week before (embarrassing by Hayley's standards, mind you), her focus had begun to return, the arousal demanding less and less of her attention to keep at bay. The physical sensation she would get in her body and in her...penis...were slowly turning into nothing more than background noise as well. She knew the arousal would never go away, but given enough time she was confident she could learn to live with it - a hedonic treadmill.

Hayley arrived to class 14 minutes early, taking her typical seat at the front of the classroom. When she didn't have Sophia or Melanie to sit with, Hayley preferred to sit alone. Not only was she disinterested in the boring conversations her classmates would try to strike up, but she also liked the natural spotlight it put on her, giving her the opportunity to display her intelligence and dedication to the class - and to the professor. She saw the way he looked at her. If she was into men, she may even find him attractive. But she didn't need to find him attractive to enjoy the feeling of knowing he would divorce his wife in a heartbeat if it meant he could fuck Hayley just once. Men were so easy.

Despite her conspicuous efforts to distance herself from the rest of her class, not everybody was perceptive enough to notice. Hayley's focus didn't shift from her laptop as the plaid pajama pants and black wife beater of Josh Richards, resident douchebag, slid their way into her field of vision. He stood there for a moment, wanting Hayley to acknowledge him first, breaking the silence when he realized that wasn't going to happen.

"What's up, Hayley," he said, lowering his voice an octave. She raised her eyebrows in response, still not looking up from her laptop.

"A bunch of us are getting together at Angelo's tonight, you should come."

Ugh, Angelo.

She had kissed him once at a party playing spin the bottle and he had spent every weekend since trying to make it happen again. In his defense not many people could say they had kissed Hayley Strickland.

"What's his address again?" Hayley asked, finally looking up at Josh. She had no intention of going, she and the girls already had a night planned, but she enjoyed toying with Josh from time to time. Plus, this would be the quickest way to end the conversation.

"Uhh, hold on." Josh looked surprised, having half expected to be laughed out the door. After a minute of fumbling with his phone he decided to give up. "I'll just text it to you."

Hayley had already returned her attention to her laptop, a small nod and a curt smile the only indication she had heard him.

"See you tonight," Josh said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he walked towards his seat in the back of the class. Hayley could hear the faint sound of his friends applauding his return.

Dumbass.

Hayley's real plans for the night were to get drunk with her roommates and a few other friends and watch the finale to Wayward Criminal, a true crime documentary they had all been watching for the past two months. More accurately, Hayley would sit back and relax as everybody else got drunk. She wasn't against drinking, in fact she would probably have a glass or two tonight, but it wasn't something she really enjoyed. Now seeing Melanie stumble around the house and confess to everybody how much she loves them? That was something Hayley enjoyed.

With nothing to ignite Hayley's arousal, the class flew by. She made sure to answer enough questions to demonstrate her understanding of the material without answering so many that she came across as a try hard, always making sure to giving Professor Dahlenger her best fuck me eyes. She packed up and left in a hurry, excited for the night ahead of her but also wanting to avoid any further conversation with Josh.

Hayley took a small detour on her way home to make a pit stop at Cosmopolitan Liquor, deciding to get a bottle of Pink Whitney for Melanie in case they were running low. There were other, closer liquor shops, but Hayley liked the clerk at this one - he never checked her ID too closely. He was only in his early 30s, but he looked at least 10 years older. Fat and oily, his diet seemed to consist entirely of the grease runoff from pizza, what little hair he had always tied in a wispy ponytail. Hayley would never admit this to anyone, in fact she hadn't really even admitted it to herself, but she loved flirting with ugly men the most. The look of hope on their face when she spoke to them was so pathetic and desperate, the same way she imagined a man would look at her while begging to cum. How stupid could they be to think they actually had a chance. To her, they represented what every man was really like deep down. Desperate and willing to do anything if it meant the attention of a pretty girl.

"Having fun tonight?" he said, smiling a toothy grin.

"Oh, nothing too special, just some time with the girls." Hayley spoke like a ditz, leaning over the counter, letting her cleavage show as she pretended to examine the store's lighter selection.