Hong Kong - Jade Empress Catfight

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A rolling, catty, high-stakes East versus West catfight.
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Here's a story I've written to tie in with a catfight from the old Sixties TV series "Hong Kong", in an episode titled "The Jade Empress".

The catfight can be found online, with the build-up starting at around 46 minutes into the episode.

It takes place between Karen Bryant, a wealthy young American woman who's been kidnapped, and the kidnapper's girlfriend - a scheming Chinese femme fatale called Lola. The crooks are trying to get their hands on a priceless jade statuette that rightfully belongs to the kidnapped woman.

I've used the actual names and tried to keep the action reasonably consistent with what we see in the episode.

Here's the story:

32-year-old Lola Lee was excited, but nervous. Her conman boyfriend, Alan Carstairs, had just returned to her apartment with the priceless jade statuette that would set them up for life. Their flight out of the country was booked, and they'd soon be on their way to the United States, where they'd sell the stolen figurine and live off the proceeds for the rest of their lives, enjoying a life of riches and luxury, without the need to ever work again.

The cunning Chinese femme fatale had it all planned out, and knew her exotic beauty would attract plenty of admirers in the US, if she ever tired of Carstairs.

But Lola was anxious too: she knew Alan had just killed one of the other people who'd been after the statuette, and she'd been complicit in the whole nefarious scheme. Also, its rightful owner, 35-year-old heiress Karen Bryant, was tied up in her apartment, having been kidnapped by Carstairs. That made Lola party to the kidnap, accessory to the murder, and much more besides. She had a criminal record and knew she'd be facing a life sentence if she was arrested. And with both the police and the interfering American journalist Glenn Evans closing in, the sassy, attractive gangster's moll was desperate to leave the apartment and head for the airport.

Lola's conman-turned-murderer boyfriend Carstairs undertook a final check on Karen, who appeared to be tied up and was lying on the bed, just as they'd left her. The spiteful and jealous Lola had handled the American blonde quite roughly earlier, after bringing her to the phone in Alan's presence, to assure the authorities she was still alive. She'd hand-gagged Karen just after she'd started to speak, so as to prevent her from revealing any useful information, and had frogmarched her into the other room afterwards, twisting the American woman's arm painfully behind her back. Karen hadn't resisted much, as the brutal Carstairs was there too, but clearly there was no love lost between the two women.

On the point of leaving the apartment for the airport, Lola gasped in shock and fear as the interfering journalist Glenn Evans suddenly barged into the room and shoved her aside, having somehow tracked them down and broken in. Carstairs drew his gun, but Evans hit him so hard that he dropped it on the floor, the two men struggling furiously.

Lola scooped up the gun but froze for a second in panic, terrified that all her plans were unravelling at the last moment. Her indecision was all Karen needed: Evans had untied the feisty young woman earlier, but she'd been lying on the bed, pretending she was still secured and helpless. But now, seeing Lola had scooped up the gun and knowing she had just a split second to act, she launched herself at the astonished gun moll, grabbing Lola's wrist and tackling her down hard onto the bed.

Lola struggled desperately, but she was flat on her back on the bed, with Karen lying on top of her, pinning her wrist hard and tight in her hand, so she couldn't use the weapon. Lola desperately tried to point the gun up at the interfering American woman who was on top of her, but Karen kept Lola's wrist pinned hard and tight, and slammed her hand on the bed to try to shake the weapon from her grip.

Evans broke away from Carstairs briefly and wrestled the gun from Lola's grasp, but Carstairs powered into him again before he could get a grip on it, and the weapon fell on the floor as the two men fought violently, crashing into the adjacent room where they continued to struggle.

Lola struggled desperately to break free of Karen's surprisingly strong grip, but the feisty American woman - who the streetwise Lola had previously dismissed as a spoiled rich bitch - was tougher than she looked. The two women rolled off the bed and onto the floor, skirts rising up to their waists, shapely bare legs tangled. Lola grabbed for the gun, but just as she got a hand on it, Karen grabbed her wrist again and twisted savagely, slamming Lola's hand on the floor repeatedly until, with a cry of pain, rage and frustration, she lost her grip on the weapon.

The two women gasped with effort as they fought, rolling over and over on the floor alongside the gun, slapping, scratching, kicking and pulling hair. They raked at each other with their nails, and tore at each other's flimsy dresses. The hot, humid Hong Kong night was sticky and oppressive, and both women were soon soaked with perspiration. Their sweaty bare legs tangled and kicked as they rolled over and over, Lola's high heeled shoes coming off - Karen had been barefoot from the start - as the fighting women rolled across the floor, locked together, Karen on top, then Lola, then Karen.

Lola made repeated attempts to grab the gun, but on each occasion Karen managed to drag her back before she could reach it, or wrestled it from Lola's grip on the occasions when the exotic femme fatale did manage to get her hand on it.

On another occasion Lola scooped up one of her high heeled shoes and struck Karen with it, but after one painful blow to the heiress's upper arm, Karen grabbed Lola's wrist and wrestled the shoe from her grip.

Lola was getting increasingly panicked at her inability to defeat Karen. As they rolled over and over on the floor, hand's in each other's hair, tugging savagely, the exotic beauty was sobbing with rage and frustration, knowing she and Alan had been only seconds from getting away for good - their flights booked under false identities and a false trail set which would have sent the police off in the wrong direction, to the port.

As the two men fought in the adjoining room, Lola and Karen struggled wildly and desperately, sometimes on the floor, then other times on the bed, as one of them got to their feet, only to be pushed down again. Lola fought savagely, spitting and biting in addition to slapping, scratching, pulling hair and generally grappling with her blonde foe. The scheming Chinese femme fatale knew it was a life of luxury if she prevailed, but life in prison if she couldn't overpower the blonde American and get the gun.

For her part, Karen knew that if Lola got the gun she'd probably shoot her, then shoot Evans too, and make her escape with the stolen statuette. Despite never having been in a fight - aside from a couple of mild playground scuffles with other girls when she was a child - Karen was more than holding her own against the scheming gun moll.

As Evans and Carstairs crashed briefly back into the room, Lola and Karen were struggling on the bed, raking at each other with their nails, only to roll off it and tumble onto the floor again, legs tangled and kicking. Her face a twisted mask of hate, Lola lunged for the gun again and nearly made it, but Karen thrust out her hand, grabbed Lola's long dark hair, pulling the screaming girl crook back at the very last second. Lola's fingertips brushed the gun, but she was pulled back - sobbing with rage and frustration - before her hand could close on it.

Lola and Karen were too focused on their life-or-death struggle to notice that the sounds of the men's fight had stopped, as Evans had finally overcome the conman-turned-murderer. And seconds later, three police officers burst in, just as Carstairs had been subdued. Still dazed from the struggle, the gallant Evans went to check on Karen, with the cops following him.

They watched in astonishment - and a degree of lascivious satisfaction - as the two perspiration-soaked women rolled off the bed and onto the floor, skirts ridden up round their waists, their shapely and sweaty bare legs on display, bare feet kicking. Gasping and screaming, the two women struggled and rolled over and over on the floor, slapping and scratching wildly. Glenn and the police officers saw that Karen was steadily getting the better of Lola, whose nerve had gone. Knowing the situation, they correctly figured Karen would relish the opportunity of some payback, so none of the men moved to intervene.

A few moments later, Karen rolled Lola onto her back, and this time, the exhausted gun moll was unable to roll Karen off and reverse their positions, as she'd done previously. Karen was able to scramble astride the exhausted girl crook, straddling her and pinning her down. Lola was sobbing with panic and gasping with effort, and desperately tried to throw Karen off, but she was flat on her back and helpless under the feisty, determined blonde, her shapely bare legs kicking helplessly in the air as she tried to dislodge Karen.

Lola tried to claw up at her hated opponent, but she was exhausted, battered and dazed from the long, hard, sweaty struggle, and Karen briefly managed to catch both of the femme fatale's wrists in one of her hands. It was all she needed. With her free hand, Karen unleashed a savage slap, so hard that it left a palm print on Lola's cheek, and rocked the gun moll's head sharply to one side. Lola's eyes rolled back and she lay motionless on the floor, flat on her back under the victorious blonde. The exotic Chinese beauty was out cold.

As Lola slowly came round, dazed, confused and still half out of it, Karen was still sitting astride her, straddling her but looking at Evans, expressing astonishment that he and the police officers had been watching her and Lola fight, without intervening. Secretly, however, Karen was glad to have had the chance to revenge herself against the evil gun moll. She glanced down at the defeated femme fatale, her expression a mix of triumph at her victory, and contempt for the scheming villainess who'd come so close to shooting her and getting away with a fortune.

Evans gallantly helped Karen to her feet and she briefly stood over the defeated Lola, with Evans raising the American woman's arm in acknowledgement of the heiress's victory, and handing her the statuette, before the victorious blonde collapsed into his arms.

After a few moments, two of the police officers hauled Lola roughly to her feet. A few minutes ago the exotic beauty had looked sassy, sexy and sultry in her tight, skimpy one-piece minidress and high heels. She'd been on the verge of getting away with a fortune, a life of luxury in the United States ahead of her, where she'd envisaged her days would be filled with poolside cocktails, fine restaurants, and glamorous parties.

Now Lola looked a hot mess: sweaty, disheveled and barefoot, scratched, bruised, her hair and make-up ruined. Her dress was badly torn, one shoulder strap was completely snapped, and the ruined garment was soaked with perspiration, all wet and clingy on her sore, sweat-soaked body. Exhausted from the desperate struggle with the victorious Miss Bryant, and still groggy and half out of it from the blonde's savage, fight-ending slap, Lola had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach as she realized her dreams were over.

She knew enough about Hong Kong's legal system to realize that with her prior criminal record and with the new charges she'd be facing, she'd get a life sentence in a brutal women's prison; and all because she'd momentarily frozen with panic and indecision after she'd scooped up the gun, then found herself unable to overpower the feisty young American woman who she and Carstairs had kidnapped, and who she'd contemptuously dismissed as posing no threat.

Lola was in shock, her body trembling as she sobbed uncontrollably, unable to believe what had just happened. She was a tough, sassy femme fatale who'd lived her life on the fringes of the underworld, and was the veteran of numerous catfights - most of which she'd easily won - with a mix of cocktail waitresses, prostitutes and other femme fatales. She'd regarded Karen as a soft Westerner, and had treated the heiress with contempt. But despite all this she'd been disarmed, overpowered, pinned and knocked out by the feisty blonde, after the fight of her life.

Unsteady on her feet, and sobbing with a mix of rage, frustration and humiliation, the sweaty, disheveled, scratched, bruised and barefoot Lola was marched roughly out of the room by two of the cops, a look of utter, total despair on her face, her hands cuffed tightly behind her back, cold metal digging into her slender wrists.

She briefly caught the eye of the exhausted-but-victorious Karen as she was led past her and Evans, but couldn't meet the blonde's triumphant stare, and looked away, her head down. Sobbing her heart out, tears of rage and frustration streaming down her scratched, sweaty face, the utterly-defeated Lola knew she'd been beaten and humiliated by the better woman.

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