All Comments on 'Hotel Room'

This is really good. I really want to hear more about the next day.

I think you've done a great job. I will say some editing could go a long way but the storyline has me dripping. Keep going please. I love it!!!

Thought it was a great first effort. Made me hard

Fantastic start. Hope you continue the story

Definitely day two please !

Great job, wife and i loved it.pp

Dear Hotel Girl,

I thoroughly enjoyed your first chapter of "Hotel Room Day 1." Your captured my interest from the start and held it -- the first thing I look for in a story. Characters were introduced and personalities defined early on as well. It was clear that the hotel manager was an alpha and dominant, and he had a plan for training Emma as his slut -- something secretly fantasized about by many girls when they aren't a princess.

The plot was well developed with tension and uncertainty woven into the fabric of the story. Emma was helplessly trapped under his control since he knew her secret. She yielded to his demands as nearly anyone would in a like situation. Thus ends Day 1.

Overall, this is well written save for some cosmetic issues. Grammar check software would make easy work of most problems.

Thank you for the good read, and I encourage you to keep writing more stories.

Tomgirl (Tommi)

I loved this. A great first story and intend reading the rest.

Loved it, just wish I had been there! Shee wouldn't needed to shower, I'd ave licked every inch of her clean!!! Yummy!

I think the author needs to learn the English language. For example there is a difference between their & there, then and than.

@Anonymous7 days ago

I think the author needs to learn the English language. For example there is a difference between their & there, then and than.

I think you should learn some manners.

Yes, day 2 would be most welcome.

Lots of grammar mistakes, especially the fact that ypu never capitalized the pronoun "I"! Please do proof reading and editing! You must have purposely uncapitalized the pronoun "I" as autocorrect capitalizes it! Please do editing!

Good first effort.

I think I came twice reading it. You're very convincing :P Playm8dad!

Yikes. How did you pass 9th grade writing? You go from first person to third person -- awful sentence structure, misspelled words, etc. Like your dirty mind, but you need someone to help edit your work.

Very exciting, thanks for sharing!

Very good story and the details... If you're anything like what you've written I want to get to know you better ;-) I think you'd be a very good sub... cock sucking slut ;-)