All Comments on 'House of Glass'

Um. Where’s the rest of the story.

What an absolute crock full of shite!

Hope this continues…

I think you need to write a follow up.

Wheres the rest of it?

Good first story. Unfortunately, this is really only the first half and needs to be finished. Since his wife Sarah wants and needs sex with other men, and his daughter not only is aware of it, but completely supports it this family is going to break-up. One option is suicide, but I hope you don't go there. I'd rather he decided to 1) get the best, killer divorce lawyer (maybe a partner in his firm) to represent him and of course hire a PI and wire the house up. Then while they are gathering plenty of evidence, he goes to a gym to lose weight. End game - he's back in shape, has lots of money, and is a hot commodity among the ladies and can pick and choose, and when he does chose his next wife it will be for love (she will be faithful and love sex with him) and there will be a pre-nup. He will have absolutely no contact with his ex-wife, and will disown his daughter. The ex-wife will probably get a good settlement in the divorce, but I hope her reputation is ruined. Maybe she will have a breakdown since she will have to come to terms that her own actions (repeatedly cheating on him) caused him to hate her, and leave her. Most daughters (at least in normal, healthy families) love their fathers. His daughter is going to hate her self for her part in her parent's divorce, and that her father will have absolutely nothing to do with her. He will not be there at her college graduation, nor at her wedding, nor the birth of any children, nor any family events. She may well do something self-destructive - alcohol, drugs, maybe even consider or attempt suicide. Honestly, these 2 $itches need a serious dose of Karma.

Is this meant to be some kind of story? Is this all we get or are you planning on some kind of second page in which you actually develop the characters? At the moment it is a synopsis, an outline only.

Hot start, please go on soon ;)

Incomplete

Is there a second part ?

10 tries and it would have erased her phone but you want us to believe he stumbled upon a 10 number combination by accident?

How ducking stupid do you think we are?

And how is he able to work long hours and then be the best husband and father?

You work a 12 hour day, that leaves you less than 12 hours for eating, sleeping, spending time with the family. How is that possible.

And how is it he was able to land a supermodel? She’s a walking wet dream, right? So she’s a supermodel class and he married her?

Don’t play us for stupid. I hate that shit.

A single ⭐ because it's a incomplete story

So did you mean to cut it off there? you incompetent or a bad writer?

Nice start. Don't stop here.

Dr beulahthemick; As he's `eavesdropped' on them, I suppose that the truth hits home, suck it up little boy. Women rule, except in backward `red' states.

Great start, but it feels like only the start of the story,

The amount if disrespect that both his wife and daughter have just shown him is nothing to do with sexual repression or the ‘fragile male ego’ it is disrespect pure and simple, they have lied, cheated and should be scared if he ever found out (which he has).

As this is your first submission, I hope that you have a conclusion to the story, it doesn’t need to be a full on BTB, but there does need to be justice. Please don’t leave it, I look forward to the conclusion.

John Other

I presume this will have other chapters, but for now it's just an introduction, nothing more! 2*

Needs more /

Is that it? Did you forget to finish the story? He is left listening to their conversation - what does he do?

Why bother starting and publishing only part of a story? Can't score as the story isn't complete.

Why is here the end?

Um yeah, well just gets started them ends, for a first time story yours sucked badly with the ending, rest was revving up buy what that was it, was expecting at least a 2 or 3 pages as your started a conversation then it stops, can't star this as it seems unfinished released in haste I guess

And you wasted time in your life to compose this?...

Time for Abandonment.....he needs to take his own holiday...nice longggg trip around the world using his daughters college tuition money 1st.

Ouch!

Absolute waste of time! Learn how to write speech, its NOT how you've done it.

Are there more pages missing?

You obviously forgot to submit page 2.

Where is the rest of the story?

I hope there comes a second chapter.

Good start, but a very abrupt end...more to come?

Way to abrupt of ending it. Even if you planned a second part. You do not end something right in the middle of thoughts. It can sometimes put off your readers.

🤨 Hopefully this isn't finished. If it is to be continued please put Chapter Numbers. 3*

That’s it? He needs to tell them he doesn’t needs two whores in his life then walk away. Never touch his diseased wife again and tell the daughter she is on her own financially and good luck finishing school. He can go find a better woman, they are out there. Take the early retirement and the money. The wife can get a job probably on her back. He shouldn’t pay for her nasty lifestyle. Please don’t turn him into a willing cuck.

You cant even finish your story ?

Is this supposed to be a story? Please don't let him be a fucking wimp.

Clicked the submit button a little too quickly, huh?

Stupid women thinking they are enlightened. Hoping Sarah sluts around with a bunch of men so the STD's can get her.

Just quit writing.

????? Stopped way short of a story. Lazy ass writing.

Nice beginning to what could potentially a good - or even great - story, even though it is a little formulaic...

...hopefully, chapter 2 is coming soon.

We will see where this goes. Good start

And what she said is true to an extent.

Lots of holes in this one! A short story with too many openings to expand not to mention FTDS. Not bad not great just try again

Finish the story!

Nameless you have made a good start to what appears to be a BTB story. Looking for part 2.

AND???????

Gave u a 3 assuming u will finish the marital train wreck to come

Burn the two cunts

What you forget the rest of the story? Every slut thinks that. Burn her down.

That's it. Why bother

And the sound of the gunshot from the next room brought the conversation to an end.

Incomplete

The story Has no ending and leaves the reader hanging. What a delusional family. Why marry?

Good start and then .......?

seriously??? you are leaving it there!!!! he needs to rush out and confront them both leave them and burn them! fuck both of them. make em pay!!! please do another part like that soon!!!

Needs an ending

Incomplete, if this is supposed to start a series then say so; otherwise this wasn’t enough of a story.

WTF? Story just stopped mid-thought!

An ending would be nice as well as a middle. Ok premise same crap about the fragile male ego though. Never mind the wife thinking about her vows.

Keep going.

This is not a story, it is just a part of the begining.

You will probably want to finish this story. Because that abrupt ending makes me hope that you weren't typing this in the submission page, had a heart attack, and hit submit just as you passed.

Is this the first chapter because it sure as hell is not a whole story.

Chapter 1 of several, hopefully.

You need to tell us this is the first part of a series.

Retire, take off, leave them nothing.

Tags

Unfinished! Just another slut story. Something very wrong with this author!

Good start. I'll rate it when you finish it.

I'm not sure why you posted an unfinished story, but I suggest you pull it down until you actually finish it.

Are you 14? About the only cliché you *didn't* use was "hot beef injection". Grow up.

Well,. That's a start

Arrrggghhhh

It just stopped.

Ch 2????

That’s it?

Stupid. The only saving grace is that there had better be a second part. The Bear does not approve. Grow some balls.

The BEAR

Chapter 1 or accidentally submitted early? Not even really a cliff hangar. More of an incomplete thought. Even the conversation we’re listening in on feels incomplete.

I would like to know how this wraps up.

Good story that’s it? Need a confrontation or something ?

I have a couple of other observations. The age of the characters is a bit low. Most teachers require a 4 year college degree and a teaching credential which is another year - therefore 18 + 5 = 23. Law school is 3 years, so for the main character : 18 + 7 = 25. They may have gotten married while still in school, but trying to have a baby during that time would make things almost impossible and delay her graduation by at least 1 year. Therefore they should bot be at least 3 years older than what you propose. Your error hurts the belief the reader has in the story.

As for the 2nd part it is time to bring in the families. Chances are that at least 2 (possibly more) of their 4 parents are still alive (they would be probably in their 60's or early 70's) and any close siblings. There is no chance for reconciliation in this story. Maybe (hopefully) when he made partner, there was a document (maybe a post-nuptial) that both of them had to sign that stated that penalized her if she violated a morals clause (i.e. if she committed adultery she has no rights to the partnership). As for the daughter, she's over 18 - no reason or law that states he has to support her any more, and that includes paying for college. What will be interesting to see is what happens say 10 years down the road. Maybe they are celebrating a holiday or one of his parent's 80th birthdays and he is remarried, and maybe has 1 - 2 little kids; and his parents invite his estranged daughter, her husband and their kids. Chances are it wouldn't go over well, especially if he had explained to his family he never wanted to see or communicate with his ex-wife or ex-daughter ever again. You could have a bigger family rift, and if his 2nd wife knew the daughter would be there (maybe even helped plan it?) that could become a major issue.

Please do NOT leave the story as is. Hopefully the main character can turn his life around after getting rid of these 2 $itches. The 2 $itches deserve to be hit by huge load of Karma. Maybe the slut daughter will start charging and go professional (i.e. prostitute) to earn money. Unsure if mommy will go that route as it would risk her normal job.

Sometimes glass shatters!

3

Where is the rest of it?

Just pack up and leave both the sluts behind

Time to hit the street and don't look back. Those two cunts only love themselves

How come you posted this? It’s not complete!

Looks a good start but

Good brakes. A little too good.

Weird place to end the first part. When is the next part?

Want to see the husband confront them

What story so far you only have two whores talking and nothing else time for him to step out and toss the sluts to the curb and move on with life without the whores

Nothing new in the plot. Simplistic juvenile setup of insatiably horny women keeping it secret from someone they love. First chapter failed to make me care about any of the characters.

A story should have a beginning, a middle part, and an end. This one only had the first two making a terribly incomplete story...

I agree with jamesapple:

'You will probably want to finish this story. Because that abrupt ending makes me hope that you weren't typing this in the submission page, had a heart attack, and hit submit just as you passed."

Ed

Sorry, but when you write a, well it’s not even a story, you have to either finish it or say “to be continued”. This was a waste of 4 minutes.

Sounds like the dumb shit got what he married. His wife is a sociopath, with no guilt, remorse, or regret. In fact she thinks she's Entitled to fuck around, basically because she can and she enjoys it so much. Sound like your basic Male cheating asshole?

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So he's married to a mentally and morally dysfunctional woman, but he never had a hint, not a clue, not a vibe. That makes it his fault as much as hers. The whore is a monster. How does a monster masquerade as a loyal loving faithful wife? Or is this just another lame Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde science fiction story with the magic potion somehow left out of the story? And apparently the whore was kept in check until the daughter revealed her own whoreness? Then, Shazam!, the wife becomes a promiscuous slut. Martian Slut Ray anyone?

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Its a fraud plot, or another shallow tepid distant marriage where the husband simply is too detached from his wife and their life to pickup on all the signs and clues. He got what he married, so he deserves what he's got.

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Thanks for the effort.

more

Can't decide if it's 1 star or 5. 1 star if that's it, 5 stars if there is more! It's well written, but leaving it like that is not even half of a story.

Good story but is that all???

Finish the damn story!!!

Now this is a story that ended too soon. What does the father do now? What happens to the women?

Don't post unfinished stories. I doubt anyone is THAT stupid.

as is this was a waste of my time reading it

Why didn't his wife propose an open marriage? I am more than sure that she will be categorically against her husband fucking other women. Once again, I am convinced that feminism is not about gender equality at all. This is an attempt to legitimize women's privileges in all spheres of life, to put women in a dominant position, to the detriment of men. You know, it's like in the workplace - women are talking only about equal wages, they are not going to do the same physical activity or fulfill the same standards. How can you offer them this? They are women, after all!

A great story! Look at all the BTB clowns come crawling out of the woodwork to complain and whine like little bitches!

Reads like a story idea. Too much narrative and is short on any story to the point it's nonexistent. Also, the absolutely worst plot device is an overheard conversation, but it's workable when used judiciously and in believable circumstances. However, in this case, what are the odds of these women waiting until they arrive at the marital home to have a conversation like this? Even if they do, look at the way it's written. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Plus, not using tags is a major faux pas, especially for your first story. My first impression of your work isn't a good one.