House Rules

The door seem to open in slow motion and yet faster than normal at the same time. I knew I had no time to put on my pajama bottoms to cover the throbbing erection I had just been eagerly stroking a few seconds before. I also didn't have time to turn off the porn I was watching. So acting as fast as I could as the door opened, I pulled my blanket and sheets up while simultaneously hitting the power button on the monitor so the screen went dark on my desktop. I thanked the porn gods that I had put in my ear buds instead of listening through the mini speakers I had hooked up to the computer since I knew my parents, particularly my mom, was in the house. How even those same ear buds kept me from hearing the click of her low heeled sensible shoes alerting me to her approach to my door. The door opened wide enough for her to put her head through and around to see me lying on my stomach with my hands on my keyboard and my blanket pulled up to my shoulders. My mom frowned as she looked at my unpajamied top outside of the blankets.

"Boy what are you still doing in bed at 10:30? I know its Saturday but you should be out enjoying the sunshine or something instead of lounging around, messing with that computer or finding a real job!"

As she spoke, she stepped fully into the room and yanked down the top cover and part of the sheet, exposing the upper crack of my ass. "Hey! I'm naked under here!" "Well if your cute butt was up and dressed you wouldn't have to worry about me seeing it. Besides what good Christian sleeps with no clothes on?" I winched at that statement. My mom had a lot of beliefs about how things should be, based on biblical facts and assumptions when scripture didn't cover it. I usually woke up before my mom came into my room, at least long enough to put on pajama bottoms before falling back asleep to avoid the 'judgment lecture/nag' about sleeping naked. I tried to head that off by talking fast to interrupt whatever she was about to say next.

"I was just about to get online to see what my friends are up to mom" "Well you can do that after you take a shower and get dressed. Why don't people CALL each other anymore? Anyway get up, shower and get dressed...And find something to eat before you go out."

"Yes mom." She turned around and left, leaving my door wide open of course.

"Like I LIKE to walk around butt naked while she's up to be shocked and disappointed", I murmur under my breath. After making sure she wasn't going to come back, I hopped out of bed... Completely flaccid as I shut my door. Nothing like having your mom bust in on you to completely kill your hard on. This was the second time this week my mom almost caught me jerking off. I have GOT to get out of here and into my own place, I mused as I turned back on the monitor to see the well-muscled guy that was fucking the enthusiastic starlet unload on her face. 'At least someone got off this morning'. I sighed as I turned off my computer and put on my pj bottoms to go to the bathroom and shower. As I turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm, I divested myself of my bottoms and looked in the mirror. I think I look pretty decent for someone who doesn't go to the gym. I have 6 pack abs and muscular legs, thanks to riding a bike 23 miles every other day. I wish I had bigger arms being a kinda slender guy but hey, I don't go to the gym. My head is covered with a do-rag to keep my waves from being messed up in my sleep and my van dyke is close cropped and neatly trimmed. I do like the fact that because I am kinda scrawny (in my eyes) that my dick looks big when it is soft or hard. I still wish I was a little taller than my current 6'2". Despite being considered tall everywhere else, in my family I was the runt of all the guys. All in all, I still look good! I smirked as I turned from the mirror and got into the shower.

I was 23 and fresh out of college. I actually didn't have to move back home but I let my mom talk me into it. I was making really, really good money as a computer consultant and making residuals from a couple of apps as well. She said that I could save money living with her and my dad to get a house. I wanted a nice sized condo but my mom thought a 'proper Christian' owned a house to raise a family, another thing I didn't want but I knew when to pick my battles. I had been home since the end of the year and while I loved my mom, after 3 months she was driving me crazy. She didn't do anything out of malice and for the most part we got along. I just felt stifled being home. I had my own apartment in my final year at school and had gotten used to being able to walk around naked, hook up my computer to my big TV to watch porn, (currently in storage since it wouldn't fit into my old room with the other stuff I had in there) staying up late or any of the other myriad of things a single guy might do without parental supervision. Now with all these unannounced check-ins and the inability to lock my door, I couldn't even jack off in peace. I had to get out, and I had to get out NOW!

So I quietly started looking for apartment. Unfortunately with all the other tech people in the bay area, the price of a decent apartment had sky rocketed dramatically. Either they wanted waaay too much, eating up more than I made or the apartment was in 'da hood' somewhere. I needed a place that I at least wouldn't get shot at going to buy a paper at the local liquor store or wouldn't cost me my first born child I wasn't planning on having when I wanted to save up to finally buy my own place. Another month had passed with no luck on the apartment front when I was telling my best friend of my woes.

"Hey why don't you look at a roommate situation?" My friend Pat suggested as he bit into his sandwich at the bistro we were eating at before going to a movie. "You could share costs at a decent place and save money like you want at the same time."

"With you?" I raised the middle of my brows. "No offense homie but you're a bit of a slob. I may not be as anal as Felix Unger but I do like a neater place than you like to keep."

Pat laughed and shrugged. "I wasn't really offering myself, I like my space but I'll put you up for a while if your mom is really getting to you. No I mean you should look at people looking to rent out a room. They're all over craigslist. You can even look them up in renter's guides if you want to do reference checks and such. You know, to make sure you don't get stuck with a psycho or something."

"That's not a bad idea Pat. I'll start with Craigslist and if nothing pops up at me I'll go the more formal route. I really don't want to have to dig up all kinds of information to prove I'm not the psycho and all the rigmarole until it becomes necessary. It's a landlords market these days and they practically are having me give blood just to look in the doorway of some of the apartments I've wanted to look at. So doing it more casually is pretty appealing about now."

So after getting home later that evening I hit Craigslist to see what I could see. After checking out house and apartment pics for an hour and reading descriptions of some others, I kept finding my way back to one particular ad.

4 roommates looking for a 5^th. MUST be compatible to stay!

Must sign off on rules before moving in. Description of place will be given at initial interview.

Make all inquiries to Glenn at 707-648-****

We are a cool bunch and just want you to be cool with us.

I don't know why I kept coming back to this ad. The place already had 4 guys in it. So it was either really big or really crowded. They hadn't given a description or pictures. They hadn't listed how much the rent was either which was another red flag to me. They were either asking alot or even if they were asking only a little, something had to be wrong with the place. I was leaning toward considering it only because I knew the city and I knew that the address they put down was where all the old Victorian style houses were in an older but nice neighborhood. I figured it was one of those old Victorian houses that had been partitioned away into smaller apartments. It was fairly close, so I decided to call while it was still early.

The first surprise was that Glenn was short for Glenna and that she wanted to bring 'Alexa' with her to the initial meeting at a local coffee shop and not at the house/apartment. I told her it was fine and that we would meet at 2pm the next day. Since the shop was closer to me, I told her I would be waiting wearing black jeans and a red t-shirt. So the next day, I was sitting there musing that my current drought of non- women was still going strong. 'She sounded pretty cute on the phone, but I bet Alexa is probably her 6'10" yoked out boyfriend making sure I don't try to take her right here on the coffee table.'

Just as I picked up my cup to take a sip, someone tapped me on the shoulder. "Are you Noland?"

I turned and almost dropped my cup. This woman was STACKED. Stacked and not afraid to show it off either. She had a blonde bob that stopped just above her shoulders and was held away from her face with few hairpins. Her face was round without being full. She had nice blue eyes and Angela Jolie type lips. She was wearing a scooped neck shirt that was holding a very generous "D" or possibly "DD" breasts. The shirt was tucked in a pair of jean short shorts. The kind that stopped right at the bottom of some well- rounded hips and ass. (Where are these white girls getting these asses these days?) She had long nicely tanned legs and she was wearing a pair of deck shoes with ankle socks. Next to her was an equal stunner of obvious Mexican descent. She had dark brown eyes fitted on a more oval face. Her lips were also a bit thinner as well. She wore her hair in a Betty Page type hair cut that stopped at the top of her breasts. If she had been wearing her hair forward I would imagine they would just cover the nipples but little else. I'm not really a breast man but while they were not as voluptuous as her companion, they were still a nice size, maybe around a "C"? Her brown legs looked especially sexy in a blue jean mini skirt that, frankly, should be considered illegally short. She wouldn't be doing any straight legged bending anytime soon. I actually wondered if she could sit in it.

After staring silently for juust a little longer than I should have I stuttered, "Ye-yeah, I'm Noland." She held out her hand and said "I'm Glenn and this is my roommate Alexa."

I still hesitated until she said "I'm the one you spoke to on the phone about a room for rent?"

"Oh...Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Even though I just talked to you last night I was still thinking of Glenn as a guy name and thought I would be talking to a guy."

I was thinking I sounded totally awkward in my ears. 'Dude pull it together she must think you are a total perv scoping her out or one of the short bus kids from the way you are talking! Maybe both...'

Fortunately both women seem to be taking my staring and gibbering in stride as I belatedly shook Alexa's hand as well.

"Sorry for the slight deception with our names, but we had an ad up last year and it was sort of a disastrous thing that we just gave up on. So this time we put up a totally different ad to find someone."

"Oh? What kind of trouble did you have from the last time?"

Before Glenna could respond, Alexa spoke up somewhat repressively. "We just had a lot of trouble the last time finding someone suitable."

Even as slight warning bells begin to go off in my mind, Glenna quickly jumped back in. "We don't want to scare him off before we find out if we want him for a roommate!" Turning back to me, Glenna continued. "You see, our first ad had all of our names, our given names, a picture of the house and the address. We got all kinds of people looking to get in but most of them were just wrong, wrong, and wrong. The few people we culled out of everyone just did not work. They just didn't want to follow the rules. One guy we even had to have forcibly removed."

"It was soo not pretty," Alexa interjected. "So this time, we made our ad deliberately vague. We figured that the people who answered this time around would be a lot more sincere and we could screen out the crazies better by making them answer our questions before they even get to see our place. So are you ready to answer us before you get to see the place?

I was getting kind of wary since I still hadn't seen the place yet but I figured since I was already here, I might as well see how this all played out. So I shrugged my shoulders and said "OK fire away."

They asked the standard questions; what did I do for a living, did I smoke, was I a partier, did I like a clean place, etc... The only really unusual question was how much I valued my privacy. "Uhmm...I don't know. As much as the next person I guess? Everyone needs a little me time now and again, right?" I just figured they asked me that because I would be living with 4 other people.

So far so good, but I really wanted to see the place before I committed to anything and I really wanted to know what kind of rules they had. I remember reading about one guy looking to rent with a roommate that wanted to micro manage everything his potential roommate did to the point he had a rule about how you had to pee sitting down. That was the deal breaker for him. If these four had any equally invasive rules I might not want to move in either.

"So I have a couple of questions too. You guys still haven't told me how much the rent is, and what exactly are the rules that you have?"

"Weelll...Why don't you come and see the place first before we get into all that?" Glenna said evasively.

'Uh, oh, looks like these 'rules' are going to be what strikes this place off my list. I should bail now, but I don't mind following these two around for a little more. Those asses ARE pretty nice.' I smirked in my head.

Glenna volunteered to ride with me as we followed Alexa over to (what I thought would be) apartments. We pulled up to a gorgeous two storied Victorian mansion that had a gated U-shaped cobblestone driveway with a two car detacted garage off to the side. Glenna hopped out as Alexa pulled her car into one of the garages. I followed Glenna's round ass up the front steps onto a glass enclosed veranda where she asked me politely to remove my shoes. "One of the house rules, no shoes pass the foyer. We don't want to scuff the hardwood floors. In fact, there are five rooms in the house. You would get the master bedroom but there are reasons for this. It's part of the rules that we have. Let me give you a tour of the place."

More about these mysterious rules, I thought. The more I hear about them, the less likely I think I'm going to like them. This place is huge though! I doubt I could afford the rent here anyway.

The house had high ceilings and every room I saw was pretty big. They had a well-furnished living room with a large flat screen TV, a half circular sectional couch with a large table in the center. Off to the side in the same room were other small groupings of furniture for conversation with lamps in a couple of the corners for reading. Overhead was a chandelier style light fixture that would give light to the whole room. The next room was a formal dining room with sliding doors connecting a large modern kitchen. In a well sunlit kitchen was a central island with stools and a built in sink. Under the main counter across from the island was a large dishwasher next to cabinets, and a large stove for cooking. Above those was even more cabinet space and next to it all was a large double door refrigerator. The kitchen even had a breakfast nook with solarium style windows to let in the light and overlooked a huge backyard.

In the backyard I could see a gazebo with a large covered, hot tub. The grass appeared to be nice and thick and was bisected off to the side with an artificial stream with a Japanese bamboo water feature. The stream continued to a small pond and I could just make out the koi swimming inside.

Back inside the house I was shown yet another room that turned out to be the den. Inside was a bunch of chairs around a large table. Against one wall was a small bar which sat next to a stereo system. I was told that this room was used as a gaming room.

"Well that explains your t-shirt Alexa. Anyone who wears a Gundam t-shirt almost has to be a gamer of some type!"

For the first time Alexa looked at me with something other than a slight frown on her face. "You recognize that it's a Gundam on my shirt? Most guys think it's a Transformer."

"Yeah, well I'm kind of a geek. I love science fiction and fantasy novels, manga, anime, most things geeky."

"Well you'll get along well in this house then! All of us are into geek type stuff. It's one of the things that brought us all together."

Alexa kept trying to talk Japanese animation between Glenna trying to tell me about the house as we headed for the stairs to the second floor. "Alexa You can talk about anime with him later! Let me finish showing him the house." Glenna and Alexa chatted back and forth in front of me while I admired the house and their backsides. As they walked up the stairs ahead of me, I noticed that I could easily see up Alexa's short mini skirt. At first I thought she had on no underwear since her ass hid the strip of cloth between her cheeks. As she continued to walk up, however, I would get quick winks of red cloth between her thighs as she continued to walk upstairs. Between watching her completely bare ass and the hint of ass cheeks that I could see under Glenn's shorts, by the time we made it to the top, I had to adjust my suddenly uncomfortable jeans.

When we got up to the top Glenna turned around to tell me a little more about the house. Did she just glance down at my bulge? I couldn't tell for sure but she did look over to Alexa with a little smirk on her face before she spoke up.

"As you can see, this is a Victorian style house, but it had been gutted and remodeled inside extensively. It has central heating; the boiler has been replaced with a large modern water heater. In fact, all the plumbing and electrical has been redone to modern standards. While the exterior and the general look of the house is old school, a lot of modern twists have been added to the interior. This house also has a basement that has a dancing mirror against one wall with some exercise equipment. The room has been soundproofed and has a stereo hook up as well."

Glenna opened up one of the doors in the hallway. It revealed a very nice sized room with a dresser and vanity on one wall and a queen sized bed on the other. There was a sliding closet door against another wall and the far wall had another door on it. "That door leads to a connecting bathroom that another room shares." Glenna closed the door and we all walked to the far end of the hallway to a pair of double doors at the end.

"This is the room we are renting." With no more than that, Glenna opened one of the double doors. This room was easily half again the size of the other room that she had just shown me. It looked even bigger since it had no furniture in the room. On the far side of the room was a pair of single paned French doors which led out to a rounded balcony that overlooked the backyard. I walked into the room to check out the bathroom off to the side. The bathroom had a large mirror over a double sink counter and a Jacuzzi bathtub easily big enough for two. Next to it was an all glass multi shower head shower. It had a rain showerhead and detachable showerhead with what looked like multiple settings. A small sliding door had a toilet inside.

I came out of the bathroom a little awestruck. "This room is fantastic! I doubt that I could afford the rent on this place though," I said a little sadly. "How much are you guys asking anyway?"