House Rules

The women laughed at my antics. I may be shy most of the time but I was fairly good at hiding behind humor and conversation. I was a little nervous though about what I was about to do and I had questions.

"Uhmm...I've never done anything like this before so I was wondering is it going to taste bad, and it's not going to make me sick or something?"

Christine was the one to answer my question. "It's not healthy to, like, ONLY drink urine Noland but in the little amounts we're dealing in or even if you were to take a full load, so to speak, it's perfectly harmless. As for the taste, it depends on a variety of factors. What you've drank, how much of that item and just how much liquid you've had during the day. If a person is healthy and they're drinking plenty of fluids, which we all do, then it's pretty much tasteless. Only in the mornings or if you don't drink enough water does it have a more acrid taste."

"You seem to know an awful lot about the subject Christine." I said shrewdly.

I was rewarded with a blush and a downward slide of her eyes. "Well considering how much I pee, I read a little on the subject."

Now I like to play poker. I'm, of course, no expert but I play enough that I know how to look for some of the more obvious 'tells'. Now her little eye slide told me she was either lying or not telling me all the truth. 'I wonder if she's like me in that___' I shook that thought off. There's no way she was like me in that.

Alexa stepped into the conversation. "Now Noland this doesn't give you carte blanche to do anything else, if you know what I mean. Like I said in the beginning this is all just a little silly fun we're having right now, Kay?"

"Oh, I understand." I said, hiding my little disappointment that an all-out orgy wasn't about to break out. Is it an orgy with five people? I thought. Ah well, being a fairly shy geek who's only had sex in collage a couple of times, getting this close to pussy was still pretty darn good in my book!

"So...Who do I do first?"

"Me," said Glenna. "I can feel some pee running down my leg."

"Actually," Lizzie interrupted. "To keep everyone in the fun, you get cleaned by the person with the second worse time."

I looked over at Christine, who looked back, blushing prettily. She silently walked around the large round table and gracefully went to her knees. After I had finished my contribution to the contest, I had put my tool away, re-buttoning my pajama bottoms. Christine quickly unbuttoned them again and gently extracted my dick with her small hand.

She leaned in close to examine it. She gave it a stroke and gasped when it throbbed and bounced in her fingers. Using her palm, she bounced the shaft up and down in her hand to her amusement. "It's so heavy." She said more or less to herself than to anyone in the room. Christine leaned a little closer as she bounced me, fascinated as it continued to grow in her hand. Until, a drop flew from it and hit her on the cheek.

"Oh! I'm supposed to be doing a job here not playing with it."

"That's quite all right." I replied, thoroughly enjoying her attentions.

"You know, unlike a woman, you don't have as much surface area that needs to be 'cleaned' off." Christine said aloud, as if she needed to have some sort of excuse. "Still, I'll suck it out a little to make sure all of the pee is gone. After all," she started to say and all the women joined in chorus, "we don't want to get any pee on the couch!" They all giggled after that. It was obviously some sort of long running inside joke between them.

Christine encircled my partially erect phallus gently but firmly in her hand and licked at the pee hole of my dick with long sure licks. After doing that for far longer than was necessary to get off any few drops that might have accumulated on the tip, she leaned back for a moment.

"That should've gotten all of your pee from the outside. Now to make sure you don't drip any pee on the couch that might not have made its way completely out of your penis."

With those words Christine engulfed the entire head of my manhood. She used her hand to ostensibly milk the shaft when in reality she was gently stroking it, while sucking hard on the head.

Christine wasn't bending my dick at all. She had allowed it to expand and jerk its way to full rigidity, standing proudly at a 45 degree angle. In this way, I could still piss if I still had to. She compensated by kneeling with her thighs perpendicular to the floor so her head was higher than my dick. In that way she could go down my shaft if she chose to. Because of the angle she had the head of my dick in her mouth, it allowed me to push those last spurts of piss directly into her mouth. Those spurts were actually more than I thought they were but Christine didn't hesitate to swallow. "Hmmm, is that all? Let me make sure." She put the head back into her sensual mouth.

A stray thought crossed through my mind at this point. 'I am loving how they are keeping up the pretense that this is all just to keep the couch clean. I'm going to have to see how these pretenses hold up in future encounters!'

I tried to stifle it but I couldn't help groaning in pleasure at her ministrations. In fact, despite or because of how gentle she was pulling, combined with her voracious sucking, the mischievous crinkle in her eyes and the fact that I hadn't cum in week, Christine was very likely to make me cum right then! Being the courteous type I spoke out to warn her.

"If you keep doing that, I'm going to do more than just spurt a few drops of pee in your mouth."

Christine pulled off my dick head with an audible pop and simultaneously stopped her gentle milking. My dick bobbed in sympathy with my rapid heartbeat, A string of pre-cum going from the eye to the bottom of her lip. It snapped off though when she spoke.

"Well we can't have that! I'm just trying to make sure none of your pee gets on the couch. You have a bit of a quick trigger don't you? I only sucked on you for a minute or so...You know, to make sure all the pee was out." She smirked and the other women giggled.

I blushed deeply, a little ashamed and embarrassed. Shy as I was I couldn't let that statement stand. "Normally, I'm not that 'quick on the trigger' but I haven't had a chance to...Uhmm... Take care of myself in a while so I'm just a little excitable right now."

The whole time I was saying this I looked straight ahead at nothing, my faced flushed in embarrassment so I couldn't see anyone's faces. I felt like I was practically glowing in shame. How many people ever had to explain they hadn't jerked off in a while?

I waited to hear laughs of derision but heard nothing but silence until Glenna spoke, seeing the acute embarrassment on my face. "Noland, we're not going to make fun of you for that." I looked at her with an air of disbelief but it was Lizzie that responded.

"We understand Noland. If we haven't gotten relief in a while, we get...'overly excited' too." Lizzie grinned as she said "We women just have the advantage of being able to 'get excited' multiple times."

Christine spoke as she stood up. "This is all just meant to be in fun. I didn't mean anything with what I said. It was just a stupid observation, not condemnation or ridicule. If...if I or any of us are making you uncomfortable we can stop..."

"NO!" I blurted out. "I mean it's not that big of deal. It's okay, really. This is the most fun I've ever had." I said more normally. Like someone once said." Looking at Christine with a grin, "We're all adults here; I can let you know...Right?"

Christine grinned back and the brief conversation we were having served to calm me down. Being majorly embarrassed like that had, of course, allowed me to get completely soft so I put my dick back in my pajama bottoms and rebuttoned them before I turned to Glenna.

"So Glenn, you said something about pee running down your leg? We can't let that stay there. The couch might get wet!"

"Yup, I do indeed!" Glenna replied.

So now it was my turn to walk around the table to stand in front of Glenna and I kneeled down in front of her, though not as gracefully as Christine had in front of me. She looked down at me with a naughty grin on her face and started bunching up her peignoir in her hands, pulling it up. I watched her hemline go up like a slowly rising curtain. Pass her calves, then above her knees. As her dishabille went past her mid-thigh I saw a thin line of liquid. As she continued to pull up her night wear past her hips I put my mouth on her skin and I licked, going slowly upwards. I continued to lick upwards, looking into Glenna's eyes the entire time as I followed that line of wetness to its source. Just before I reached that delectable looking source I stopped.

"Hey I have a question." "What"..."Is"..."It?" Glenna bit off each word, clearly excited but trying not to show it.

"You're all women..." I started out.

"What gave us away?" Lizzie snarked. I stuck out my tongue and continued. "You guys can get wet from *ahem* certain stimulation. How am I supposed to tell when there is no pee left?"

"You should be able to taste the difference." Lizzie responded, and then grinned impishly. I can't speak for these other heifers but I won't be mad if you have to lick a little longer than strictly necessary to insure that no pee is there.

They all laughed as I turned red and thought about the prospect of taking advantage of the situation. I went back to Glenna's body and contemplated her equally very smooth pussy in front of me. There were a few more drops clinging to her plump outer lips so instead of licking, I did what Christine did to me, I attached my lips and gently sucked off the offending drops. Glenna shuddered in my mouth but otherwise didn't have any other reaction. I was disappointed there was nothing else to lick or suck off but I still pulled away and started to get up when Glenna stopped me.

"Whoa hold on there, partner" she said with a fake twang. "Aren't you going to check inside as well? My lips may have trapped some pee and could slowly seep out. After all, 'we don't want to get any pee on the couch!" They all chorused. They all laughed gaily and I grinned drily. They were obviously feeling the effect of the marijuana and Guinness and it was beginning to affect me as well.

I took my thumbs and peeled back those smooth, plump lips and a white fat drop of lubrication fell out and hit the ground with a tiny 'splat'. I saw another one forming at her hole and I pushed my tongue in, curled it slightly and pulled it out. I wasn't able to do it perfectly however and a thick strand connected her lips to mine as I tasted her.

She actually tasted a little peachy so I knew I would be able to easily discern her taste and the very slight, sharp taste of her pee. I put my tongue back in, this time going above her vagina but below her clitoris to zero in on the tiny opening of her urethra. 'I knew all that reading of female anatomy back in high school would come in handy', I thought. I scoured my tongue all over and around the area, completely licking up any lingering suggestion of pee that could be found, and not incidentally arousing Glenna still further. Just as her breathing began to hasten even faster than it already was, I stopped my oral exploration.

"That should do it!" I said brightly, feigning ignorance of the storm of arousal I created inside of her.

"You're an evil, evil man." Glenna murmured, "But you catch on to our teasing pretty quick."

I just grinned in response, and then I looked at Lizzie. "You're definitely next Lizzie. I saw how messy your pee was when you did it. You couldn't sit down on the couch without wiping, or having 'cleaned up' all of THAT pee!"

"I know, I always pee like that too!" Lizzie moaned. "I have to wipe everything when I pee."

I hadn't noticed it at first, being focused on watching everyone else pee, then giving Glenna the comprehensive licking she deserved, but Lizzie was not only standing wide legged to prevent her inner thighs from touching, she was holding her jersey above her waist to prevent it from touching her ass.

Still on my knees, I knee walked the foot or three over to her.

"I'm soo wet." She said slightly distraught but still with a special emphasis on 'wet'.

"I just bet you are." I replied equally cheekily. Lizzie just poked her lower lip at me.

Still kneeling, I started by licking and sucking her inner thighs. Some points of them I sucked vigorously enough to leave a hickey on her pale skin. Next, I turned her around to see more droplets on her petite but rounded ass.

"Okay, now I need you to bend over. Better yet, just put your hands flat on the table, lock your knees and open your legs a shoulder width apart."

Lizzie complied with my directives and I, again, knee walked to get behind her and enjoyed the view. Because the table was only about knee height at most, I had a complete and unobstructed view of her ass, pussy and could even make out the star of her asshole. I started at the top of her ass to get any remaining rivulets, avidly licking her taunt smooth globes. Every time I touched her skin with my lips, her tiny star winked at me in concert. It was SUCH a tempting target! Dare I lick her...There? Starting at the top of her crevasse, I decided to meticulously work my way downward. I took long slow licks. Moving closer and closer and closer still and then I actually skipped over her rosebud and attacked her perineum, ending just before I reached that crinkled opening.

"Oooh, that tickles!" Lizzie squealed and wiggled back and forth like she was trying to avoid my tongue when in fact, she actually pressed her star against it more firmly as she continued to gasp and giggle. What also caught my attention was that her pussy actually began to literally spill juices! Well, not spill so much as ooze out. It started out slowly, frothing forth like the head of a freshly poured honey. As I continued to lick her rosebud, her pussy lips folded open and a thick clear strand of girl juice with a fat drop on the end seeped out. The heavy drop seem to pull the strand further and further from her blue haired punani, until one of her little wiggles snapped the strand which struck and clung to her left leg.

Delighted with what I caused her pussy to do I wanted to continue my assault on her asshole but what excuse could I..."It's really hard to get the pee from this spot. I have to be thorough because after all, the women joined in chorus; we don't want to get any pee on the couch!" We all laughed loudly at the running joke which I finally got. I guess we were all really feeling the effects of the marijuana. Alexa must have a GOOD weed man!

Using that flimsy excuse, I went back to eagerly licking her pink, contracting asshole. I was rewarded with an even thicker strand of effluvia. The strand was even thicker than the last and I watched it get longer as Lizzie wiggled less and pressed her star against my tongue more. Every time she pressed backwards, I would lean back to keep my tongue pressure consistently light. The heavier strand of juice lengthened and stretched to about mid-thigh before it broke off to hit the floor with a tiny but audible *plip* in the silent room.

It wasn't until Lizzie began to blatantly moan that I abruptly stop teasing her rosebud. However, I still wasn't done; I still had to lick off the many droplets that dotted the outside of her womanhood. There were also a few drops that I missed on the backs of her thighs from my first pass. I started with her thighs first, licking impatiently but thoroughly wanting to get to the main event. Even though I did this quickly, this did nothing to calm Lizzie's overheating pussy.

Her pussy kept visibly pulsing, continuing to slowly but steadily drip pussy juice, with strands and drops snapped off by her contracting inner muscles. The droplets making tiny spattering sounds every time one would hit the floor. I started on her flower by using both hands to peel back her large inner lips and plunged in my tongue as deep into her interior as I could. Lizzie let out a high pitched "EEP!" and I could actually feel the mouth of her pussy contract around my tongue. I thought licking slowly all around the inside would totally cause her to lose it and I didn't actually want to make her cum. Although she was quite obviously enjoying what I was doing, she seemed to not want to cum in front of her friends.

So instead I licked inside and all around the inner lips quickly, paying especial attention to her pee hole, the source of what I came to find to be her delicious over abundant lubrication.

I only stopped long enough to say, "Since you are standing in this position some of your pee may have ran down toward the top of your punani. I have to make sure you are completely clean by licking the top of your pussy too."

With no more warning, or time for her to stop me, than that, I quickly wrapped my tongue, then my entire mouth around her clit and sucked strongly. The effect was immediate. Lizzie sprang up on her tip toes like she had been cattle prodded.

"EEEEEeee!" she singed out and wound downward like some kids toy.

Her pussy, which had been dripping and continued to drip juices more and more heavily, contracted mightily for a split second, flutter rapidly, then began pouring a thick deluge of spending's as if someone upturned a bottle of thick, clear syrup. It poured pass my closely cut mustache, over and around my still wildly sucking lips and tongue, into and down my goatee and chin to hit the floor in a small but rapidly spreading pool of girl goodness between Lizzie's feet.

For a full minute and a half I continued to suck and lick her as she poured her nectar all over the lower half of my face and onto the floor. Lizzie's legs, which had been rock steady at that point, minus all of her wriggling and squirming of course, abruptly began to tremble and she sank to her knees, no longer able to support herself. She bowed her forehead to the table, breathing hard, trying to catch her breath. I leaned back on my heels, head tilted towards the ceiling, not even bothering to wipe the copious juices off of my face, feeling it run down my neck and onto my chest.

We both began to recover at about the same time. I tilted my head back to admire her thoroughly drenched pussy. It was still winking sporadically, drops of sweetness still bubbling up to her lips. Some of her juice had run down into her pubic hair, making it glisten. Lizzie pulled up her head up and looked back at me almost accusingly. I said the only thing I could think of in the ensuing silence.

"I guess your pee is all cleaned up now?"

Lizzie glared for a few more seconds then she broke out into peals of laughter. A few moments later, we all joined in, laughing until tears sprang to our eyes.

"Well I don't know about you Alexa," Christine said, " but all that laughing and rolling around has dried me up for now, how about you?"

Alexa hesitated for a second but she agreed with Christine. I was disappointed because I wanted to 'clean' them off too.

Christine turned to me, "This doesn't let you off the hook Noland. You're not done for the night. We'll be using that bucket until we finish our shows. So you'll have to 'clean' us each and every time we go and you'll have to empty the bucket out too. By the way, since that bucket is larger than normal I wouldn't wait till it's full. You should empty it in small intervals so you don't strain yourself."

Glenna changed the conversation. "I think I've had enough stout I'm going to switch to tea from here on out. What about you guys?" Everyone nodded in the affirmative.

Glenna gathered up all the empty cans and glasses. Alexa went over to help her and together they took everything to the kitchen. I decided to get a jump on the bucket emptying and went to the bathroom to do just that. As I walked out, I noticed Lizzie using the small towel I brought in earlier to pat down her soaked pussy then wipe up the small puddle she made on the floor. I dumped the bucket in the toilet but didn't flush. I knew I would be back in there because we had all had several glasses of Guinness and I also just happen to know that tea is a mild diuretic.