All Comments on 'Housewife Gets a Massage Pt. 01'

just so unlikely which dilutes the erotica

this is garbage 1*

There is a video porn site with a lot of Japanese erotica on it. One in particular has Japnese man offering a free massage to a big-brested, blonde woman. The video is 48 minutes long, and your description of the massage in this story is very similar to the video.

Just a few comments and suggestions: a five-bedroom house seems awfully big for a family with just two children. My experience is that unless the family is incredibly slobby, a once-a-week thorough cleaning is more than sufficient.

Walking the dogs would be more of chore than merely feeding them.

Massaging legs generally starts with feet and calves, and then works its way up the thighs. A massage of a woman's upper torso would start by rubbing the pectoral muscles around the breasts, including the area in between the breasts, the rib area under the breasts, before gradually manipulating the breasts themselves, in order to overcome the woman's 'reluctance'.

You didn't mention if the married couple use any form of birth control, but since they only have two children, it would seem that they do. In any event, is there a pregnancy risk from the Japanese masseur coming in Kate?

Please hurry part 2 please,please.

I liked it, please continue it.

Small critique: you don't need to keep posting the exact times, that will put readers off. Just a general statement like we were already over the fifteen minutes he offered or I was going to be late for picking the kids up. Just generalities.

A story isn't an appointment calendar.

Very good first try. I look forward to the next episode

I know from experience that you will get at least one abusive comment but take no notice, we all get them

The word mucus is a real turn off in the story.

Very good work for a first time writing. Keep it going please.

This is pretty ridiculous. She accepts a FREE massage and then in 15 minutes she is a cheating slut--Please.

Enjoyed your story.

Only one thing. Could you upgrade the husband's car and put him in a Vogue - I bang my head every time I get into an Evoke.

of the same BS posted over and over. Description of massage? How many of these have been around. It is more of a fun to watch porn massage than to read always the same description without any plot and any story to go on.

1 star for crap.

I loved it please write the next part soon

A LOT of us have seen the video this story describes, a quick search of "massage housewife video " brings up many sites showing this exact scenario. Still, good start.

Really good for a first story. You should definitely go for Ch.02. I gave it a 4.

A word of constructive criticism—It might just be the difference in our common language, but I’m pretty sure all quotes begin with a capital letter. Yeah—it’s nit picky, but it really was jarring.

Too bad you didn’t see fit to give more info on the Bio page; info helps readers understand where you’re coming from and might sway them to grade accordingly. EX. Single quotes while acceptable for an English writer, which I assume you are, is a no-no for our side of the pond. We use them sometimes within another quote or for inner dialogue—almost never to show someone speaking,

Good Luck and keep writing. cd

well,the story is actually really good.

Very good well done.

To the end of a marriage... no chance any husband would let her stay in his life. A simple request for a divorce would have saved the relationship with her kids and ex-inlaws, but now I hope she has a way to earn a living.

The seduction is paced well & very satisfying! Please write a sequel!

A well written sexy story, flowed well and left me wanting more, thanks for sharing x

I really enjoyed your story and am looking forward to reading more. Keep it up!!

I agree, a very good start. It reminds me a lot of a video I watched. Nice work!

Really, you have so little faith in your own story you will only continue is depending on how it goes?

<P>

If that's your attitude, don't bother.

Congratulations for this excellent story!!!!

Please, go on with part 2 ;)

Your story reminds me of a hot massage video, Part 2? 5 stars

A few called this garbage, sad to say I have to agree with that observation. Really, what's so erotic or even interesting about this story? A housewife turns into a slut. Why?

Sure, totally believable. She follows a stranger into a remote hut, lets him lock the door, and ends up fucking him. This is supposed to be Great Britain, right? The land of cucks and whores? I wonder why.

No divorce for these civilized reasonable subjects. He might wonder why her pussy tastes like soy sauce, and why their next child looks distinctly Oriental, but, stiff upper lip (and chronically limp lower appendage), mustn't make a fuss over spilt milk.

Yes, write another dozen chapters. This one was so special.

. . . since I quit reading this just as soon as I read 36E breasts.

Those aren’t sexy; they’re cow udders. Sometimes I wonder if LW authors have any real experience with women, because they sure don’t seem to know anything about bra sizes.

Please continue this and make it a series. Very well done

This has to be written from a woman's point of view. Think about it. A housewife with a very good husband and a decent sex life return her gratitude by screwing another man. I'm guessing part two will be the husband set this up because the cliche is British men have a desire to be a cuck. I don't think so.

Agree again with RR. What the neck is it with these authors in LW? Everything is supersized. Boobs, cocks, asses are all huge. Women of the description of our slutty housewife would be grotesque. Insane descriptions of body parts are not sexy, except maybe to a 14 year old. Bring anatomical sanity back to Lit.

I would like to see where it goes from here. give it another go.

Only thing is that boobs being that big isn't sexy. Liked the story - please continue - is she pregnant?

5 stars this time.

A little rough around the edges, particularly at first. It became a bit more fluid.

General observations:

1) I had no problem with you calling out the times. It helped set the pace and add to the tension. It worked in this story.

2) The remote hut was a bit too much. Only a fool would go with a stranger to such a place. Once that began, I switched from viewing this as realistic fiction to fantasy fiction.

3) The pacing of the seduction was good. However, at times the massage seemed awkward, almost as if Endo was not as experienced as he claimed to be. Instead of detracting from the story, it actually added to it for me, by raising questions.

4) I agree that some words are major turn offs. Words like mucous should be avoided.

5) Endo being hung, her having 36E breasts were over the top and contributed to the fantasy affect. So did having Endo fuck her. I get that's the money shot / payoff you wanted but it may have been better if for the first massage he did shiatsu magic on her pussy with just his fingers. Maybe not.

6) Sexual descriptions and feelings we're well presented.

Overall, well done. As a fan of LW, you should not be surprised by any vitriol hurled at you. With moderation in place, it is hard to imagine why so many attack comments get through. Ignore them and keep doing your thing.

kB

Very good first time effort. Totally unbelievable, but well executed.

Thank you. If the ending is NOT going to address her massive fuck ups, I could do without it. But if it addresses them and there is quality discussion between the spouses, it would be a four or five story.

👍

Can I insist on Chapter 2?

More,more,more........

I enjoy the seduction of a story, I think I would have liked to have heard it from the male side, his seducing of her. A bit more resistance from her, slow the story down. Slowly building her fire and overcoming her right and wrong. Making her completely lost to her lust and passion. Just my thoughts.

I'd be pointing out things like using lower case letters where caps belong, poor punctuation, and lines like: " 'This is feels good' Kate thought" out to you. But far from being " probably garbage" (your words), I found it quite erotic, albeit not with the careless errors. Please continue writing, but proofread prior to posting! Thanks.

JUST A DUPLICATE OF A POSTED PORN CLIP ON THE INTERNET

Thank you very much for the comments whether it be positive or negative.

Admittedly I'm not good grammatically but I see many of you liked the story regardless.

Just to answer some questions, my many inspirations for this came from other stories on here, an actual porn clip featuring massage seduction and a real life story I was told regarding a woman that I know who visited a massage parlour and received a very happy ending from a Asian guy.

I will be writing Part 2. I aim to have this ready by the end of February.

It will follow on from Kate's experience with Endo in the massage hut and focus on the effects it has on her marriage plus plenty more action. That's all I'll say for now.

The positive comments have given me encouragement to write more stories but my priority will be to get Part 2 of this done first.

Cannot really imagine how Endo got permission to set up a cabin in Morrisons car park, or even how on such a thin pretext Kate was persuaded to accept the massage offer.

However reasonably well written so lets see where Kates adventures go from here,

Writing copy for the Japanese massage video porn scene. Not very original. You even copied some of his dialog, lol.

I watched it and laughed at the gullible women. It has to be all scripted and very fun to watch.

Unfortunate reading this wasn't as good at all 😞.

Krista16, don't give up. Try something else. Please, remember to make it up!

Thanks for the effort.

AMerryman

I think you did a good job with your first story. I have a few thoughts:

-Comments on this site get pretty brutal especially a story with cheating. I found that giving a warning at the start will avoid some and then there are others who will slam your story regardless.

-If you don't let the comments get you down, you can learn and improve your work and writing style.

-Embrace your inspirations. This is a free site that allows you to share fantasies. We aren't professional author's (most of us any ) don't get paid to write so write about what you enjoy and don't worry about pleasing everyone else.

-All that being said, great job and Thank you for sharing.

I actually liked it. I recognised it as stated below, from the video. However this makes it better, you took something that was obviously scripted, added a dialogue from the ladies point of view and created a brilliant marriage of the two. So much easier to imagine this happening. Ignore the nay sayers below.

will she go back & will she tell her girl friends about it? can't wait.

I am amazed at the number of people who liked this. You deserve.part two.

I'll have to keep a look out for a massage hut, especially as it is right next to a school, imagine the constant flow of 'yummy mummys'.

I enjoy the Jap massage videos it was a bit of fun reading a transcription and a decent first effort.

Now you've lost your posting virginity, it'll be interesting to see where you go.

she would have to be dumb as a rock to fall for this scam

just search pornhub for "amwf massage"

and you will find this story to be the exact

rundown of these videos.

The story was written for entertainment. If it entertained you, it was good. If it did not entertain you, it was not good. If he or she enjoyed writing it, it was good. I certainly enjoyed reading it. Thank you for entertaining me.

Like the old adage The chicken or the egg? I read this and recognized it as a video I'd seen. The writing follows the video or the video follows the writing, either way both are good. If one has the ability to read & not watch, the written word is good. But the video is a great way to go also.

Can't wait for the next one, this was fucking great.

36e tits, how awful is that for a start, what happily married woman, would allow herself to be locked in a shed with a stranger offering a free massage. She would have to be so stupid, has I would be if I let myself to be aroused with it

Not bad I'd like to see pt 2

Brings back memories, and a big smile.

Keep writing

Very sensual with a progressive sexual climax. Can’t wait for part 2.

Kate is a keeper. Period.

Ive seen this on Pornhub. Japanese massage with Nikki Sexx

Very sensual and erotic story. Enjoyed it immensely!

Beautiful! All it needs is continuos persistent encouragement in the right direction from the husband who needs to be completed committed.

The story is an excellent idea to convert an uptight conservative wife to a Hot Wife and really enjoy life to its full content.

Women must understand nearly all woman 99% including their mother and sister have enjoyed and are enjoying outside marriage. It is perfectly fine. Only nobody talks about it openly like in the Western world.

It's garbage. Gave it a one star rating.

I know this story from videos but I still gave it 5 stars. Because it was good. Forget these critics? A lot of people are always trying to tell people how to write a story.

Wow loved the story hope to read chapter 2 soon

I read this with total PLEASURE. I wrote a story but I was rejected due to the form of writing i used. this helped me a ton. Not only in what I need to do in changing my writing but as I read I have to take a brake to enjoy the sexual excitement I felt.. Girl write more .!!!!!!!

' Look out for those admirers in the shop Kate!' shouted Ashley as Kate got close to the door [leaving the coffee Mums]. Makes me wonder if her friend Ashley knew something.

You have great potential as a writer. I like your ability to create tension and anticipation. Well done.

I am only halfway through, maybe a little more and I love it so far. I love to imagine my wife doing things like this. Once she reaches a certain point of sexual arousal there is no turning back for her, so I could totally relate to Kate and her sexy adventure. And great job for a first story! Oh, and in case you're interested, I did enjoy a nice orgasm while reading this!! I'm going to finish reading tomorrow and hopefully I'll have another...

Well, I finished the story yesterday and I really, really enjoyed it, and I had a very nice second orgasm while reading the second half. I'd love for my wife to find an experience like this. Very hot and i hope there is a Part 2.