All Comments on 'How High a Price: Long Ending'

Ten pages of tripe.

He should not have let John leave. He should have had John arrested for, as he pointed out, breaking in and attacking his wife after being warned to stay away. The only way letting him go makes sense is if his buddies were waiting to pick the guy up after he's out of sight. He could then beat the crap out of him once more before finishing him off and dumping him in the ocean for shark food.

The arguments that Early made on Susan's responsibility to marriage are incredible. The way the original denial of wrong-doing on Susan part was refuted left nothing unsaid. The reasoning was very thorough. Good job.

This is the most satisfying of the endings I've read and mirrored some of my thoughts on how the story should go. So much so that a perspective ending is probably going to be aborted.

Allow me to say a few things: the dialogue was stilted and a bit pretentious. It was about 3 pages too long. It needed some serious editing. Homonyms are not your friends.

Still, I enjoyed it. For those who don't think this 'Early' manned up enough: Troubadour already established that the original Early was hell bent on reconciling even on that very first night. What is there to walk back from on that? This was as manly a 'variation' as could be plausibly described while being semi true to the original.

I enjoyed this. I did have some problems with a couple of things though.

I think Early's hinted at background was far too convenient.

I also had trouble understanding how Stickner got into the house. Seems hard to imagine Susan opening the door to let him force his way in. And I rarely like violent vengeance. I would have preferred Early dong some of the work of trashing him professionally and with his wife.

The fact that the firm would punish him but just let Susan quietly leave also seemed wrong. Or at least Early's not holding them responsible for enabling Stickner seems wrong. Early knows that they knew what he was like and allowed him to continue. Seems like taking action after this came out was too little too late.

Still, I think you did a good job of making Susan seem at least somewhat the victim here. And in the end even though forgiven, she does seem to ache at what she lost. Some seem to demand that the cheater die a horrible death by some painful disease to feel satisfied. I think things are not always that simple. Yes she did something horrible to him. But people are more than a single act at one moment in time. In this case, I think you managed to do the work of making her a sympathetic victim.

There were numerous editing errors that for some reason really bothered me. Both typos and incorrect words. ( I can understand Susan having trouble 'excepting' that Early did anything wrong near the end since I cannot understand what that even means. I guess I need to be more 'accepting' of these errors or learn some obscure grammatical rule that explains it.)

best version of this story ive read

...or else feed him to a herd of pigs. Trash like that just takes up food, oxygen and space that others could use.

Sorry that Susan didn't pay anything for her 3 nights of fucking and lying. Being forgiven is a get out of jail free card. She'll do it again, as we all know.

5 stars from me!

You can't clear a pistol with a magazine in. You suppose to clear the pistol before you insert the mag and after you remove it.

Early was supposed to be a tough business man. He was supposed to know people and win negotiations. He apparently was also a former spook or special forces. What doesn't fit is his continued relationship with Susan. With his background loyalty and trust are everything. Susan betrayed him. If he was as gifted in dealing with people and intel as he is made out to be, then he would know that Susan did what she did because she wanted to, and that desire for sex with Stickner was greater than her love for her husband. He would also know that we are all victims of our characters. Susan is a selfish cheater and that will never change, even if she never acts on it again. By the time she got home from Stickners, Early would have already resolved to terminate the marriage and to move on. Of course, while he might have loved her he would also know that there were many other women he could love as well. Perhaps he would pick better with more experience under his belt.

Susan was rewarded for cheating,an easy spread your legs without resistance cheat.

It made me sad to see that,towards the end the victim was being blamed as well

That being said it evoked a strong response,so for me it was well written even if I think she should have paid for her infidelity, and was totally to blame platitudes not withstanding.

Shame on you you better feel bad for a while isn't paying.

celebrated with (a city in Illinois) ?

Champaign is a city in Illinois

Champagne is a sparkling wine made in France

That is one of my pet peeves as well.

This continuation was masterfully written. The characters and their interactions felt real and the dialogue didn't have (for the most part) a contrived appearance. I have to disagree with some of the other comments about how Early "should have known" due to his previous (and current) professional life if for no other reason than I have been witness to (and have been, to at least some extent) cases where a person's personal and professional lives are very compartmentalized and seem on the surface to be two completely different people. It's not unlike a high powered C level executive running the office with an iron hand but the spouse runs the house. That executive's employees probably wouldn't recognize the executive if they were a fly on the wall during the executive's vacation. That said, there was a flaw in the compartmentalization rationale that I didn't feel was addressed satisfactorily. Susan claimed compartmentalization and "almost like a dream" and "...didn't even think about...and didn't occur to me..." etc. BUT had the presence of mind to tell Stickner "I can/will be your temporary wife until Early comes home Saturday." Were I Early that would prove intent and forethought. This brings me back to the question of sincerity. Was she truly sorry for the action or was she only sorry for the consequences? I could see and can accept that Early was blind to her cheating (and everything leading up to it) until Susan got caught but once she was discovered I see Early's (not Susan's) life compartmentalization failing and don't think that this flaw in reasoning on her part would have escaped his notice. I think that the issue of her claiming the whole "it was like a dream" BS should have played a larger part of the story and/or dialogue. This lends more to the "burn the bitch/bastard" type story, and this was refreshingly not, but I think that this story could have benefitted (if for no other reason than realism) from a little more of that element.

And with that I'll turn the soap box over to the next speaker.

You sit in a chair, not set

to lose something means you cannot find it, it is lost

when something is loose, it is not tight.

arghhhhh

This is by far the best ending to the Troubador's, "How High a Price". I have read all of the other endings and your ending is the only one that really drew out the emotions of every character in the story. Thank you.

lose/loose, your/you're, to/too, champagne/Champaign...etc, etc. It detracts from the story.

The other one that really irritates me is 'drug' instead of 'dragged'

What the hell is with that? Who started it? It doesn't even make sense.

"She drug it around behind her"? What kind of drugs? Probably crack.

Get it 'write', fuckers (pun intended, just so you know).

I love happy endings.

I didn't care about the stuff that has all of the English teachers marking on their computer screens with red ink. What I do care about is the drivel spewed forth in this story. The original wasn't much worse than this. How in the hell can someone write a story about a supposedly strong and manly man who doesn't take someone stealing from him and then with one conversation from his secretary, it's all his fault that the bitch fucked the other bitch lawyer? What kind of idiot can become the VP of a company through his good works and smart decisions and then buy into the fact that his wife being a cheating whore is somehow his fault? Why be married if you have to constantly watch and police your marriage to keep your spouse from screwing around? I call bullshit on that. Sure, he was tough, he was macho and next the secretary will convince him that she and Susan need to use a huge strap-on and fuck his ass so he will know and appreciate what Susan had to go through to rise in the company. His fault again, right.

No, this story completion had nothing to offer. This Susan is as bad as the other Susans who couldn't understand what they did wrong. This one's problem is that she felt that since he was trying to work things out that she had been given a retroactive "get out of jail free card". All that "other self, out of body experience" bullshit was just that. She planned the tryst, you thank a co-worker for their help by writing a letter of commendation or buying them lunch, not fucking them for 3 days and acting like you are their wife. That alone should have killed the whole deal.

There is no believeable relationship between the original characters and these. If you want to write your own story, fine, but don't try and pretend it is a reasonable continuation of a different story. -1/2* if possible

Pathetic tale.

10 pages of justifying a cheating slut wife that needed to be burnt at the stake. Clearly a "1".

please seek help or join ISIS!!!!

on this one. I liked it better this time, but didn't love it. I think that you did a pretty good job sanitizing a pile of dog vomit that you had to work from here. I like your writing, don't care about the misspellings or little grammar or spelling goofs, but it does flow. Now, I did like the fact that Stickner got the shit beat out of him. And I do think that a man has the responsibility to stay a "presence" in his wife's life. Some one who she should respect and think about when it comes to the failures and the triumphs of her life. She was that for Early, but he wasn't that for her. But she was a lawyer, after all, and was used to pretty much taking care of herself in a hostile environment, not because she was a woman, but by their very natures lawyers are aggressive, self centered and ruthless. Really, isn't that the kind of lawyer you want when you need one. Hazard of the profession. So, Early would have needed to be more overtly aggressive in his relationship with his wife in order to be able to "swim" in the same part of the ocean as she did. This a good example of what happens when an aggressive or "rough" guy tries to hold all of his real personality back. It can become a problem in his partnership with his wife. I also think that her co-workers should have an idea of who he is and what he will stand for as regards to the treatment of his wife and more importantly, his marriage. I think that is what company mixers and parties and picnics and stuff are for. Lets the boys and girls see their spouses off the leash a little, but still contained. He shouldn't have to fight her work related battles for her, but it should be obvious that he has her back when it comes to interpersonal relationships with her co-workers, especially the male co-workers. That way, if she knows where he stands and they know where he stands, then misunderstandings won't have to have such deadly consequences. You know? So, I did like the story a little better this time and I scored it better. You are a good writer and except for the disdain of the spelling Nazis, I think you were pretty well received. Still thought Susan was a stupid, stupid woman. Educated way beyond her intelligence, so to speak. Happens all the time.

Lets face it, Susan did take into account everything, her marriage, her position in the firm, everything. By spending the night or weekend with Stickner, her goal was partnership regardless what she lost, because partnership would mean more money, status and if the marriage was lost so what, being a full partner there were other fish in the sea. Yes she did not use those words or thoughts but lets face it that is what was on her mind. Until she came home and found Early home and had been home all weekend. The example of Susan showed a woman however smart she was, was just that a human with emotions that showed what happens when you lie and worse try to fool those around. No Early did not catch on right away until her lies on the phone gave her away. Some say is Early a wimp? well, instead of stopping at Stickner's house, making another phone call to Susan keeping her in conversation with him (Early) long enough to move to the back yard then step out in full view showing Susan that she had been caught.. other than that.. yes he is a wimp. The confrontation at home? any lawyer half assed lawyer would know, what state would allow Stickner's home invasion? Susan quit therefore her binds or attachments to the firm went away. I summarize that Susan is afraid of Early? I cannot understand why, its his trust in her that was broken, she broke the vows and did it without a care in the world.. just to play house wife with stickner. If she is on a life time probation or parole she has it coming.

Susan read the dossier on Stickner which contained the fact that his third wife that he was still married to was alive and living in Boston.

So why is this supposedly intelligent lawyer surprised the next day when told his wife had not died of cancer?

Lawyers, especially those in business contract law, must be detail oriented and retain what they read, or they will have no success in the career.

Really liked this until you turned the husband into a Navy SEAL. I really felt like doing that to get Strieckland's file and for that fight scene at the end was way to Deus Ex Machina and cheapened all the effort you put in to make their emotions real. It felt like a cop out ending. Great story otherwise.

I am a Retired Navy Master Chief. This follow on is the best one of all. I wish you would write more as what you do is real good. Please write more stories.

MCPO Jim

Best of the follow-ons I have read. The author convinced me RAAC was appropriate in this case. Given what she had done, changing my normal BTB mentality was quite an accomplishment. Needed a thorough proofreading - way TOO many incorrect word, grammar, and punctuation errors.

TAGS - I assume the author did not enter any so the Lit. "robot" found these in the text.

Kind of a blame the victim don't you think?

Early did nothing.

He needed no forgiveness.

It's one of the hardest things for a writer ,to make a case for reconciliation without the characters being incredibly stupid or blaming the victim. Here the victim is Early.

That was you solution to an otherwise implausible reconciliation.

Yet ANOTHER cheated on husband who turns out to have been an ex commando or spook. It makes me wonder if there's something about that line of work that renders a man totally unable to see what's going on around him after he retires.

And in this case, it was totally unnecessary. With Early managing a defense company's global security, there would have been any number of other people around him who had the requisite skills. Could even have worked better if Early had had them gang up on the bastard and left him knowing that there was now a worldwide network of dangerous people who would like to have a piece of John Stickner.

badly written. horrible plot and characters. convoluted logic. crappy wimpy ending - how can he still remain married to the company whore?

how the fuck do you people rate this a good story?

great story and effort . Love the ending!

I can't believe that I've wasted minutes of my life reading this Wimpy Knight pile of crap.

If you want to write this story, write it on your own without pretending that its a follow up. Any resemblance between the original characters and yours is purely coincidental. You have written something comparable to an unwanted follow-up to Gone With the Wind where the south has won the Civil War.

because only a dumb ass cuckold would go through this shit over a slut like Susan. And of course we know why Bonnie likes it, the husbands a WACC.

was the hubby wanted forgiveness for?

Susan's reason for adultery was idiotic. She should have simply admitted her affair due to her weakness. The husband should have forgiven her if he loved her so much AND she was so repentant. It would have been nearer to real life.

Very long stupid story.

He had enough on strickler and the firm covering up his past, to get a real $$$$$$ settlement from the firm. To let her go with no compensation? What a joke. Poor ending. He could have had him disbarred and destroyed his marriage.

for every shit bonnietaylor2/vastiesmith2 rates.

Thank you.

You didn't stick to the characters in the original, you created your own. Thats fine if you are not pretending to piggy-back on to someone else's story.Almost all of this long story conflicted in some way with the original story.1*

This, however, is the worst. You haved fucked troubadour over in the worst way. What you did to his story is unforgivable. Up until now "The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls" was the all time screwing of a storyline and character, but you have surpassed that. You should be in jail.

Any of these commenters who failed to see themselves in Early's shoes beating the crap out of John are cockold wimp pussies!

long winded shit.

I enjoyed your writing style BUT I didn't like the story. We have a wife that spent a couple days screwing another guy because he was soooo lonely and he helped her at work. Real good reason (satire). Can a lawyer really be this stupid? Then we have a husband who will do anything to forgive her. He says all the right things but then he keeps her around...and naturally he thinks it is somewhat his fault that she cheated. Thanks for the story, even if I disagree with it.

Literotica authors have more Seals, Rangers, SF, Delta Forces, CIA Black Ops, etc, than have ever served in those services. Instead of this deus ex Machina cop out, Early could just be pissed enough to kick his ass, shoot the SoB for breaking and entering, assaulting his wife and then call 911.

Also, most Glock .40's do not have manual safeties, and as another pointed out, one removes the magazine and then racks the slide before asserting the weapon is cleared. A pistol with a magazine in it is, by definition of all responsible gun owners, not cleared.

Also as pointed out, Washington State May let him carry concealed, but not Uncle Sam.

Too long, but good emotions. So 3 stars overall.

why spend your life with a nothing but a whore?

she fucked over you for your entire marriage. But I'm here to give this a 5 for content effort and to help offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote

VOTE 1* FOR EVERY STORY RATED BY THAT FAT DUMB WHORE VASTIESMITH2 AKA BONNIETAYLOR2 AKA ANON!

Typical RAAC BS. Early flexed his muscles, beat up his rival, took back a cheating slut and proved himself the cuckold he is portrayed here.

RAAC BullShit!

Bruce Lee had "Enter the Dragon" BDad has Enter the Cuckold. Disgusting!

a bit of a thought piece.

Anyway, the anonymous comments just show how clueless some people are.

Not entirely surprising, considering recent stuff.

I thought the end, the fear... was inspired. The dark side calls - and if you answer, you change... not necessarily for the better.

green-something

Good story, I notice the negative remarks are from anonymous, they probably have not caught their wives yet, don't mean they are not straying.

It is very unneccesary long and complicated sequel. But the mainthing is that you have no idea how a cheated husband feel and how to solve things. You Early is not believable at all. It is a long but hardly good effort to write a sequel. I bored in the middle and scanned to the end. Sorry but didnt work for me... You need to investigate more and put yourself in the mind of a cheated husband.

Still just halfway through this one. Loving the quality of your writing and how well you are developing the storyline. I was saddened that she was so willing to resign after discovering the John was a slimeball, but didn't give it any consideration before - as an attempt to save her marriage.

If it's 10 pages long or 1.

While I have not changed my opinion on the content of the story, I want to mention that this is a very well written story that held my attention better than most for 10 pages! I am chaffed by the Early partly at fault for his wife's cheating logic. I am from the "Just do your Damn Job" school. That means, don't worry about what your coworkers or your spouse is doing in regards to the situation. Just make sure you do your job and do not break any of your contractual agreements (like adultery). If everyone just did their damn job, minded their own business, this world would be GREAT! Unfortunately they don't and like the modern day crybabies, they want to BLAME someone else. Sorry, that is as pathetic as it is irrational.

Sure they were a typical yuppie, money grubbing couple. No kids because they wanted - MORE. That kind of makes them unlikable because their values are so screwed up. That still isn't a case for cheating. Nope, they are two materialistic losers: her a foolish cheating slut and him a work-aholic who doesn't know that their are better women out there and rules to living. They may stay together, but they will not get back to what they have or grow stronger. Their love has been poisoned, it will wither and die. It is impossible to be "in love" with a cheater. You can love them, but that is not enough for a husband. He must be in love with his wife or he will find someone else.

Mainly for the quality of the writing. Up until the point of her returning to work, it was going brilliantly. After that the storyline unraveled. It would have been more of a challenge, and more engaging, if it hadn't turned into a story of her being taking advantage of by a slimeball. Would she have come to her senses and truly felt remorse, had he remained the trusted colleague and sorrowful widow? Would a part of her had still treasured that moment of repaying a debt? You took the easy way out in my mind. Why it took you 10 pages to do that, I have no idea. He had all these conditions he was going to place on saving the marriage. I think we only heard the first one, before the story turned. You abandoned the more interesting storyline. Then the trusted colleague who knows everything about the cheater, chimes in that she needs to be forgiven because she can be trusted. She loves her husband too much to mess up again. And how does May obtain this omniscient insight? Who knows. On the one hand, she claims that these two are so utterly in love that there is no way they should consider divorce. On the other hand, she acknowledges that the two of them have been negligent in their marriage for years, putting careers before marriage. This is contradictory.

What the hell - I like redemption.

Forced reconciliations and twisted plot lines make for garbage.

5% original characterizations and 95% new creation. Its a new story with only the names and the situation from the original. Might have been a story if you'd made it original.

I like alpha male reaponses. Both stories offer good examples.

Certainlt one viable response to The Troubador's story.

But I found it long winded full of unneeded angst and vacillating ultimately weak. I'm old and if this tale relates the modernity of today's society I find it sad. All of this happened over the course of only several weeks. We do indeed live in a fast paced world. No wonder nothing lasts! I do appreciate your efforts in writing such a long tale. It must have been exhausting.

I just like to say that I though it was a good story and would like to here what happened to early and Susan how are they doing and if the law firm gave Susan something be sides a good recmindsion she had good case of sexal harassment against them . But as I said a very good story thank you

The author did well enough outlining the issue of his naïve wife's infidelity. Not sure, though, what to think about her resolute stupidity about just how horribly she polluted their marriage.

She did not understand what she did and how she thought - even after when hubby is trying to get her to think clearly about it. She thinks that she can just banish the possibility of it happening again. But if you don't understand what it is that you did and how it all transpired psychologically, how can you prevent it from happening again?

Here is wisdom: Women are duped and controlled in many ways, but the most insidious bait-and-switch is to transmute a woman's nurturing instinct into sexual desire and then "harvest" her. This is what a typical predator will do - not that he necessarily understands the darkness with which he plays.

Another, even darker attack on women is to turn their nurturing instincts into perverse political initiatives (not to mention all of the browbeatings recieved by any concerned husband). To wit: Women For Obama. Did you ever just tear your hair out asking wtf wtf wtf wtf???

But I digress.

And as infuriating as it must be, could any guy with at least one ball between his legs deny that the dumb bitch wanted a nice, fresh hosing as well!

But the main issue with this whole tedious tangle is that the dialog is so completely lacking in subtlety. Nothing is ever implied. Everything is spelled out like the voice from a car computer droning lifelessly out of the dash. It was excrutiating having to hear this constant monotonous, child-robot yammering. For godssakes, stop!!

Also, the husband is a bit too sensitive when he should be at least halfway out of control. Even before the predator's cum has dried on his wife's thighs he can barely supress the urge to start doting on her and...yes, nurture her. It's very feminine and unbecoming of a man whose wife has so stupidly humiliated him and shit on the marriage.

He is constantly checking himself, worried like he's gonna "yell" at her....heavens! Sorry people, but it's kinda faggy. Yes, faggy and wimpy.

And the words sometimes used have a similar swishy effect as his fear of flying off the handle. Come on guys, stop using words "desperately" and "distraut", or whatever, I can't remember. But the breathless feel that things had sometimes was another limp-wristy thing.

Honestly, I would rather have seen some real murderous hatred come into play than to be constantly confronted with his prevarications and soft underbelly. We get too much self-censorship from the husband as well as the contradictory language.

To put the wimpy, died cherry effect on top he openly takes the blame by suggesting he helped alienate her and drove her to into the arms of the other man.

You turned Early into a RAAC wimp and lunatic, you owe the original author an apology for this garbage.....

But the beat down at the end felt soooo good.

5*

You truly named it correctly. The story was well written & edited but was way too long. Needed more sex, especially between husband & wife. The story took so long that I basicly forgot the first part. You have incredible writing skills, but have a lot of fog in your writing. Find a good editor. Every story doesn't need to be a novel. Keep writing. 😊

This storyline inspired some great writing. You have written one of the best endings. Sticker is a character that needed a ass kicking and humiliation in a severe way. I was beginning to think I was the only person to feel that way but, I put that off because of me being a somewhat violent minded person. Thank you for your effort.

Five big stars!

I never take my gun out unless I really mean to shoot someone

Probably the second best of these completion stories. I appreciated that Early found there were things he could've done to make things better in their marriage. Relationship failures are only very rarely 100% the fault of one party alone, even when they are mostly one party's fault.

Pretty much a cop out on everything in the original story. First, the original story focused on Susan and her highly destructive decision to "reward" Stickner. In the original, it is her decision to reward him and plan the getaway. A psychological study of delusion. As soon as the author decided to make Stickner the second coming of Reinhard Heydrich, he totally changes the focus and the story becomes "Oh, the poor seduced innocent." The stupid idea that she was an innocent in the sense she didn't know about Stickner's character is so implausible as to be laughable. You work in an organization this size at the professional level for 6 months and you know the people with the smile on their face and the knife in their hand for your back. Oh, and let us not forget Early taking off his glasses, stepping into the phone booth, and becoming Superman! Also, we have the psychobabble cliche of Early's secretary making him "see" its partially his fault because he's working so much. Doesn't work where the wife has a job and the author has already kindly advised us that she has been working triple overtime for months on the MELROSE account. This is a work of tired cliches grafted carelessly onto a totally different story without regard for the original story or characters.

... loses sight of the original story and wanders off into various side stories...

in addition, very poorly written.

Tough to believe Susan did not hear of Stickner's character when her assistant knew all about him. Even tougher to imagine the two females did not chat about him as close as they were.

good. My favorite completion of T's story so far.

I wondered why he didn't rack the slide. I should have seen that coming.

This version goes way out from the original story.She cheated on Early and had no qualms about cheating.

And Champaign is a city in downstate Illinois for God's sakes. Should have left this alone.

I really enjoyed your completion of this story. Best one I’ve read so far!

I realized I had a huge problem with I think almost all the endings people put out. I think maybe one really focused on Susan’s decision to ‘reward’ Strickner and if Early could get over that. This story and almost all the others completely moved on from the original point.

I thought the characters and dialogue were as good as my first read through but I also realized it kinda fell into the ‘I’ve already read this a thousand times’ category because it was so predictable once Susan returned to work. He’s a predator, Early is an ex SEAL, macho beat down on a home invasion an intelligent lawyer would never do etc.

Finally this irritated me. How is the speeding ticket analogy at all similar? She sent Jennifer home, packed an overnight bag and spent several days with him. By the metaphor used she should’ve realized the first night. I thought using that to convince Early to reconcile was beyond weak.

I like reconciliation but I thought it was completely underserved here.

Skimmed most of it.

A big change from the original, which I believe had Susan SUPPOSEDLY responsible for the messed up account.

While both versions had the ridiculous idea of using sex as a "thank you for your help" gift, at least in the original it was her supposed mistake that he helped her with, so her gratitude was greater.

BTW, I say supposed, because in the original it was never shown that there really WAS a problem!

My problem with the reconciliation is that she didn't simply submit to a seduction, or Stickner holding the account over her head, but her OWN belief that she somehow OWED Stickner sex!

I liked the story this came from, I loved this ending.

Bravo!

The usual plot: the lover is always a bad guy with serious character flaws and the cheating and ambitious wife the defenseless victim! Otherwise an excellent story.

Enjoyed it all 3 times. Again, not a real fan of reconciliation, but still like this one.

Your description, the sheer intensity,the raw anger left a cold chill in me. The picture in my mind turned vivid with overtones of red. Very well written!

Did't realize there were already lots of alternate ending with platitudinous justifications.

Naive successful Lawyers? LoL

You're completion of the original story I feel, is magnificent. Easily gets a '5' in my book. The following is NOT a negative, only my thoughts: Since this was an epic to write, I would've liked to see more fleshing of the law partners meeting with Stickner after Susan's meeting and perhaps some more legal after-action between Early et. al.,and the Jenson et al, vis-a-vis the law firm's previous knowledge of a partner's predatory behavior and their liability exposure. Then finally, the conclusion of Stickners existence. Just my thoughts -- A GREAT READ!!!!!!

...know the difference between "losing" and "loosing?" It's annoying to continually read "I'm afraid of 'loosing' you" or "I don't want to 'loose' you."

That being said, this is an OK, if somewhat overly long, follow-up to the Troubadour's great story. -- JRZ

Writing was ok. The pacing was bumpy-jumpy I thought but it did have its moment. Still, it was more of a rewriting of the original story than an ending and it sort of wandered back and forth between the original story line. I have always thought, thru all the endings Susan was a deluded bitch and how that "owed" thing ever entered her mind, even as rationale. The truth is she simply wanted to fuk him and kept saying the same thing over and over as she stuck to her story. I'm pretty down on RAAC stories anyway and at some point as Early began to "think and accept" that he was part of the problem sounded like he had been to a counselor who...I know from experience...always tries to compromise and split the blame, I found that pretty weak. I hate that word "mistake". It is NEVER a mistake, it's always a choice. Trying to pass it off as a mistake is the mistake.

I would have liked to see her try to stop Early-for his own sake- thus ultimately defending Stickner and have Early throw Stickner out quickly followed by him throwing her out like he said he would do is she sided with Stickner in anyway.

It was long because of the rewrite and somewhat tedious but obviously a lot of work. Not my fave of the many ending written but it was better than some IMO. Keep writing. The real object is to touch people one way or the other. That's the point in any kind of artistic venue. I think, reading the many conmments, you have accomplished that.

How can a man known for his skills at talking a deal, someone who claims to look for whatever leverage he can get, be such a pussy towards his wife. In his heart he may have known he would forgive and stay together, but telling her that upfront does not fit with the husband's character. Why didn't he put more fear into her, make her pay a bit? Why didn't he go after the law firm. He had proof that they had covered up for loverboy in the past. And suddenly he turns into Rambo? As I said, holes, holes, and more holes.

Some men cannot understand truly loving there wife and vise versa when our life changes sometimes we refuse or ignore the problems and find a way to adjust to change the female character was seeing the stars feeling getting acknowledgement from a typical mans world of course a man would find her weakness and take advantage her husband was a kind and caring man that she knew but his darker side she never fathomed because most men of his character are the type you don't fuck with you never know the outcome

Great story and this ending was what we should have expected from Early.

Very well done!

The original story was about a woman who was helped by a more senior attorney with her firm to land a big client. For reasons she couldn't really explain SHE decided to have sexual relations with him to thank him. Very clear from the original that she was the pursuer. She doesn't seem to understand why her husband has a problem with it.

The best and probably the only good continuation is the one where the author has Early consider things and decide on divorce. His reasons are the premeditation of his spouse. She decided on the sexual reward, waited until Early was going to be away, arranged for her regular secretary to be on vacation, and then approached Stickner. There is no "mistake" and Stickner is not an evil seducer with no morals. It is very hard to write a continuation of someone else's story where there is some ambiguity in it. You actually have to think and create a plot and use prior characterizations to finish the story. There is none of that here. The author obviously wanted a reconciliation so totally rewrote the back story to make a barely believable reconciliation possible with a lot of gagging. He also transforms Early into Superman so vengeance is easy. The continuation story is usually garbage because the new author takes the name of the story and the names of the characters without their characterizations and writes what he wants. This is a typical continuation story similar to a follow on to "Gone With the Wind" where it is revealed in the second story that somehow, inexplicably, the South won the Civil War.1* Why don't you write something of your own?

Can twist it into anything but a cuckold story.

Who cares if you think it total BS, it read well and kept me entertained, that’s what it as supposed to do. It’s not a documentary.

Keep writing

and still ends up where she really loses nothing in the long run. She had her sex, yes gets embarrassed she was used, but still has the house, money, husband, and so on. He willing keeps damaged goods.

This story was long, but well written. It gets a five for that.

But it is not at all faithful to Troubador’s original story. It had too many Rambo-esque moments and seemed to completely change the dynamic between Susan and John (Susan went from being the “aggressor” to the prey).

I know a lot of people felt Troubador’s story was unfinished. I thought that it was a magnificent emotional piece. It allowed each reader to finish the story in his or her own way. In short, it made you think, and that is the mark of a well-written story. In Troub’s original, the emotion was palpable. In this one, it was more stilted and forced. I felt the author was leading the reader too much, rather than letting the reader decide for himself.

At least the co-conspirator got a whooping!

But you ruined a good thing. I think that is much what is wrong with the "understanding" mush American men have become...and no...I'm not at all a Trump fan. You people today male and female are soft, spoiled rudderless people. I will admit, and I'm not one of them, that the boomers were handed something great and they totally blew it. They created what essentially is the same as the generation in which Rome imploded. You are weak.

"And I forgive you totally and completely with all of my being." Early whispered passionately in Susan's ear as he pulled her ever tighter into his arms.

Early's words were magic for Susan, suddenly the sun shone brightly, the air smelled sweet and the future beckoned invitingly.

Your brain plays tricks on you those last few milliseconds when a bullet passes thru it at supersonic speeds

So,what did Susan's employer do? How about the friends told to stay close to their phones? Did Susan return to work? You changed a lot of the original story, not necissarily bad, but, it definitely needs an epilogue.

but not faithful to the original. The Early you created would not have sat in the house for 2 days waiting for his wife to return.