All Comments on 'How I won Back My Wife Ch. 01'

finish your story.

"(To be continued)"

Please, don't bother. This story is a mess. Not as big as your first effort, but still bad.

Why wasn't he at least tempted to grab something to serve as a weapon before he climbed the steps? A golf club, a softball bat, a kitchen knife?

Why was he looking through a keyhole instead of just opening the fucking door in his own home?

Why did he just sit there watching for minutes?

Why on earth would anyone want to win this woman back?

Oops!!!

whore is cheating not 4 years into a marriage and dumping her pre preschool aged kid off at a day care while she is a stay at home mom?

Why didnt this quy question why a stay at home mom needs time away fro her still a toddler child?

and the cuck wants the whore back?

... But really: why should you bother?

Four years inside a marriage, and she's already acting this way? Cut your loss, make sure the kid she had is actually yours, and find someone who actually love you enough to not fuck around on you.

Life's too short and there's... just... TOO... MANY... WOMEN out there to waste time and feelings on someone that obviously doesn't care about you.

No rating 'till the story is over.

Given what you just saw, why would you want her back?

Why such a short damned story...it was laziness or no imagination?if you want finish the damned story at least make it long enough to make it worth reading......

Why would anyone want to win back a wife like that?

The problem I have, and I think many will, is why anyone would just sit there while their spouse is cheating on them and do nothing and then run away. How do you know she is not drugged or blackmailed or in fear for her life?

That kind of inaction only makes sense in stories and takes an effort of will to get past.

WTF was that?! Not worth reading, waste of fucking time!

This was rushed and too short. Writing many short chapters is annoying. Also, i agree with the other why try and win back a cheater? Such a short marriage anyway. Better topic would be the battle for full custody of child and effort to destroy soon to be ex.

As @Bebop3 said: "Why on earth would anyone want to win this woman back?"...2*

This is going to be a waste of a read. Absolutely no story development to continue further. Please don’t.

If you have to "win back" your wife, you've already lost.

Any story where the husband walks away from his wife fucking another man is a loser.

You don't seem to learn from your mistakes do you. She is history and so should your writing career be...

I would have removed my wedding ring placed it on the table with the flowers,left and booked in an hotel for the night.Then contacted my solicitor next day

His wife, that he loves and who loves him completely, is caufhtvfuckingvanothercman on their bed and she’s giving him head which is something she never did for him.

Gosh, never heard that before.

Wait!

Until you finish writing the story.

Wait!

Until you get someone else to read it.

Wait!

For a week and then read it again.

Wait!

Until you get someone else to edit it.

Don’t bother

surely he won't keep the whore he should have kicked her lovers ass and tossed the slut to the curb take his daughter and leave never to return to the slut let the boyfriend have her

Crying like a baby while his wife continued to get pounded.

Looks like a cuck. Walks like a cuck. Smells like a cuck.

He wins her back by agreeing to eat her lovers creampie.

KB

Am I the only one who doesn’t like stories released in parts? I typically skip them because after reading Part 1, Part 2 will come out days, or weeks, or even months later, and by the time it’s out I will have forgotten what Part 1 was about. It is especially irritating when these parts are very short, like it is here.

I don't think I've ever met a man, that upon discovering his wife was fucking another man in their marital bed, would simply walk away. Rush in and get in a fight? Grab the cell phone and take a video or some pictures? Throw on the lights and start yelling? Maybe. But walk away? How does he walk away? He doesn't have a spine so he can't walk. I think that your mistake in this attempt at story telling is that you picked a lousy place between chapters. The LW readers have little patience for this type of nonsense and I think you'll find that out in the scores and comments. Not a good start.

1 star

Do not need to see more. This is already a lost cause.

Was of a child that looked nothing like him.

It doesn't make much sense. It provokes too many questions that shouldn't have to be asked, and provides some details that are irrelevant, even distracting.

Why didn't he confront them? Maybe she was drugged, being raped, blackmailed. Why didn't he get more information, looking for a vehicle, identification, evidence of who this person is?

What difference does it make how tall his wife is, or what size her breasts are? Why do you need to explain in detail just how he sneaked up on them. What is significant about him putting the flowers under his arm to grab his key? He has two hands. He can't hold the flowers in one hand and reach his other hand into his pocket? Is that an important detail we should remember?

Keep trying. You have lots of room for improvement.

I'll wait for the rest of the story before scoring--right now this could rate anything from a 1 to a 5.

One word of advice, make the story at least 2 pages per chapter; you need that much to really get us hooked. As it stands now I could either read or ignore the finish, for I don't know enough about these characters to really carte about them.

Too late. This entire story was posted on Lushstories, and it gets worse -- far worse. Even by the low standards of such stories, it's inane.

The title begs the question. Is she worth being won back? For me, hell no! Time to first get social services then the courts involved.

It's not so much the parts, but as you say, the length. If a story is long enough to need parts, it's long enough for the first part to be at least two pages long.

Quantity if not quality of the comments. Neither quality nor quantity of the story.

Even I saw this half-page LW-cliché-infested teaser start to the story as unfair to the reader and I'm usually one who takes the side of the author rather than the commentariat in situations like this.

Lue

"How I won Back My Wife"?

After what she did, why would you want to?

it's your story and you will write it the way you want to but... You wrote that it was your fourth anniversary and she chose that day to do some guy in your marriage bed, why would you think she wouldn't do it every year just because she could. Doesn't she work?

Your daughter is only two didn't you mean daycare instead of preschool? After he picks her up what's his plan?

I have nothing against one page stories, hell a lot of the ones I've written are only one Lit page, but you need to hit at least 2000 words, not 1329 including title, a small lead in and to be continued. Maybe if you had ended it after he picked up the child you would have at least been headed in a true direction.

Should be titled: “why would I bother to win my wife back”

What’s to ‘win’ here?

This is dumb - one page??? Please put the next 10 chapters into one file unless the next chapter is 10 pages long.

the writers on this site enjoy writing about weak men..

Some stories are short but sweet. They are called flash stories because they give the entire story in a thought. But the beginning has an ending and what’s in between is compelling. This story wasn’t just short, it didn’t develop. I feel like I’ve been on a hot date where the girl leaves when we have barely gotten to know each other. Ok, she didn’t feel any chemistry, but she shouldn’t expect me to call her again. So as my author who has taken me on this “date” of reading his story, you left before I really got to know you. You didn’t even leave me a good “cliffhanger” as a reason to call back for chapter 2. Serial stories are great on a site like this , but you have to give your audience something that compels us to want to read more.

I see why you call yourself “The Reader”. Because you sure aren’t a writer.

Not much to like here. 1 Star.

You need to develop the characters, both of the MC, so that we know and care about at least one of them before you end the first part so we are at least vaguely interested in any continuance. This has the briefest of back story and only his side of it, Kate is a mystery, presumably she works, because the daughter is in pre-school, so she can live without him while, from the title, he can’t live without her and right at the outset it looks like he's accepted that he's a cuckold and would anything however distasteful to pretend it never happened so he can maintain his fantasy of have a "loving wife".

Speech is robotic and grammatical. Try using what people really say to each other.

He's a wimp, I can see why wife would need a real man to service her. He should just move on and find a little woman to make his coffee for him.

I have read through ch 7-8. No one is going to win. Through the next 8 chapters The_reader scrambles several plots together with no real flow and no sense of realism. The characters are never developed to be believable or relatable.

The plot is so bad. Noel cannot won his wife back. He divorces her in future chapters and loses. If he got her back he loses. Noel is written as the husband of a cheating wife then he is a cuck then he is a muscled stud then a bull then who knows.

One star

First question that comes to mind after reading this is, why even bother trying to win her back. Take the rings off set them on the table along with the flowers, maybe even pull out your cell phone and quietly go upstairs to the bedroom door and take a picture for evidence if you feel like it. Then walk out the door and don't look back. She'll do it all over again later in life anyway and it will cost even more to divorce her. Quit now and save what little you'll have left and you still have years ahead to rebuild your life. Let her unfaithful ass gooooo,

Useless waste of pixels

Incomplete chapter

The question is ‘Why the fuck would you want to?’

I read full story hoping for last minute missing pieces of puzzle that would bring some sense to the story. Well, didn't find any. Quite opposite -daughter (not really invoked in narrative as pivotal element anyway) found not to be MC's.

And he does nothing, What a coward!