How the River Feels

So, what to do now? Well, why not a dinner date? Dan knew of a romantic Italian restaurant not far from his office in the Energy Corridor. He had often taken clients there for lunch, and he knew the manager would be able to arrange for a table in a more private, out of the way corner. He called the restaurant and made the reservation.

Then he texted Jack.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi, Jack, Dan here."

"Hi, Dan."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Miserably, but I finally got some sleep. Just got up."

"I slept like a baby."

"Good for you."

"I was hoping you might want to meet this evening for dinner."

"I really wanted to take some more time to process all this."

"Oh. :("

"But I think the sooner we meet, the better. I'm still confused."

"Hot damn! :) How about 8 this evening?"

"Later than I usually eat, but okay!"

"Is Italian okay?"

"Love it."

"Great! I'll text the restaurant address. See you at 8!"

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

Dan looked up the restaurant address and sent it to Jack. As he put down his phone, he realized that he was trembling with nervousness and had almost stopped breathing. Why did Jack have this effect on him?

Part of it was that Dan was finally opening his soul to someone, and he was fearful of rejection. His heart was on the line, and the chance of having it crushed was a terrifying thing. But he somehow knew that his heart was safe with Jack.

Dan pottered around his apartment to kill time until he needed to get ready to meet Jack. Finally, he shaved and showered and began to dress. He decided on black slacks that cupped his butt and allowed his generous endowment to be in evidence in his crotch. A blue polo that allowed some chest hair to peek out where the top button was left open.

Dan looked in the mirror and saw a man who was confident, in charge, on top of the world. He also saw a man who was beginning to tremble like a teenaged boy on his first date.

"Come on, Dan, get your act together!" he told himself. "You don't want to look like a fool in front of Jack!"

Finally, his breathing calmed down and he regained some composure.

"Okay, let's go!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack started getting dressed for dinner. He tried on an outfit, then tossed it aside is dissatisfaction, then pulled something else from his closet. A suit and tie? Too formal. Jeans and a polo? Too casual. Black slacks, white shirt, and tie? Too CPA-ish. Finally, he settled on dark gray slacks that fitted his strong legs and butt very well. A nice blue t-shirt that hugged his full chest. A black sport jacket over it all, feeling his strong arms stretch the sleeves. He noticed with satisfaction that the pants gave him a nice bulge in his crotch.

"Sheesh! I'm not trying to seduce him!" He said to himself. "Or am I?"

One last look in the mirror to make sure his hair and beard were tidy, then out the door, into the next leg of his new adventure.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan arrived at the restaurant first. The manager had found a perfect table in a dim corner. There were even candles and a rose!

Then Dan began to sweat. What if this was too forward? What if he was assuming too much about Jack? What if . . .? He began to panic. Maybe he could call Jack and back out. No, that was too rude and stupid. Just as these thoughts were beginning to bring on a meltdown, Jack walked into the restaurant.

Suddenly, Dan was calm. This dangerously handsome man walking toward him should have made him panic and run away. Instead, he was relaxed and self-assured. Whatever it was about Jack that did this to him, Dan found that his world suddenly balanced when he saw Jack.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack arrived at the restaurant at five before eight. He sat in his car, sweating, gripping the steering wheel, breathing hard. This was too much! Maybe he could back out, maybe he could say his car broke down, maybe . . .

Finally, he slapped himself in the face and said, "Come on, you sorry bastard, just do it!"

He got out of the car and walked unsteadily toward the door. It was all he could do to keep from falling over as he turned the handle and opened the door. He was afraid to speak, feeling his voice would crack if he did. In a hoarse whisper he told the host that he was meeting a friend. Dan must have given a good description of Jack because the host immediately led him to Dan's table.

The moment he caught sight of Dan, everything changed. Dan seemed to have a magic spell that made Jack calm and confident. What could be more natural for two new friends than to have a quiet dinner together?

Dan stood and shook Jack's hand. Both of them felt the electric connection again, but now it was a current, a quiet flow of attraction. Almost like a velvet lasso drawing the two men inevitably together.

They ordered their meals and sat silent for a few moments.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan spoke first. "Jack, I'm so glad you agreed to meet me for dinner. I know you wanted some time to think things through, but I hope I'm on the right track with you, and I want to move forward. To be honest, I've never done anything like this. But I feel good about us."

"Dan," said Jack, "at first, I did think I needed some time, several days, at least, to wrap my mind around this. It's completely new to me, too, and I feel a bit lost. But I also feel good about us. Honestly, I don't know why, though. This goes against everything I've thought about myself. But when I'm with you, everything is right. I may be racing off a cliff, but I'm determined to move ahead and figure this out. No more hiding myself away, no more hanging onto the past. Karen is gone, and she told me to live passionately. So I'm going at a full gallop, and here we are."

"You know, Jack," said Dan, "I find you very attractive, and in the past, I would have had my hands all over a man like you. And you know what you do to me. But that would be disrespectful and dishonest. What I really want is to get to know you and be a real friend. And whatever happens or doesn't happen between us, I'll know I've met a fine man."

Jack was silent, feeling unworthy of what Dan had said. But it made sense. Get to know each other and let things go where they will.

"So, Dan, what makes you tick? What are you passionate about?" asked Jack.

"Well, you know I work for Apex Oil, and my job takes me all over the world. I've seen the Taj Mahal, Denali, snorkeled at the Great Barrier Reef, gone on a photo safari in Kenya, even climbed around at Machu Picchu. And everywhere I go, I try to take in at least one cultural event. A concert or a museum."

"Quite the cultured gentleman," observed Jack.

"I've visited the Prado in Madrid, attended an opera at the Colon in Buenos Aires, heard the Vienna Philharmonic. I've seen Victoria Falls, ridden a camel in Saudi Arabia, visited Petra. But . . ." Dan faltered.

"What's wrong, Dan?" asked Jack. "It sounds pretty amazing to me."

"So many times, I've seen or heard something wonderful and turned to share it with someone special. But no one was there for me. Friends and acquaintances, to be sure. But nobody there to share my life with. Sometimes I think that with all my living I never learned how to live. Sometimes I feel like I'm half a man. . ."

Dan sat silent with his head sunken to his chest. It seemed to Jack that a light had gone out of Dan's eyes.

"Well, Dan, maybe that's about to change," said Jack.

Dan looked up and saw a gleam in Jack's eyes that stirred him and gave him hope. He sat up straight and asked, "So, Jack, what makes your heart beat? What makes you tick yourself?"

Jack thought a moment, then said, "My family. They are what I live for. I have an amazing son, Sean. He's twenty-four and is a professional photographer, a damn good one. He married his high school sweetheart a month after they graduated. Neither one went to college, and Sean's skills are all self-taught. He and Hannah are a great match, and they have five-year-old twin sons, Cody and Connor, who are smart and active little bugs."

"Sounds like you have a wonderful family, Jack," said Dan, silently wishing he had had a family like that growing up.

"They are wonderful. But lately . . ." Jack's voice fell. "I've been so withdrawn that even my grandsons are wondering what's wrong with me. I know I've been wrapped up in grief, but I have to move on and live again. The kind of travel you've done sounds wonderful to me."

Dan hesitantly said, "Well, Jack, do you think you'll have some time to travel in a few weeks?"

Jack answered, "You've given me an idea. But why did you ask about travel time?"

"Well, I'm going to London in a couple of weeks for some contract negotiations, and I have a good bit of vacation time coming to me. So, I thought that maybe you would like to join me for some travel around Europe."

Jack sat in stunned silence. He couldn't believe what Dan was asking. He and Karen had rarely traveled, and then only in the United States. Now that she was gone, he couldn't imagine traveling on his own. But maybe this was the answer.

Jack's silence worried Dan. Maybe he had been too forward, assuming too much. So, he was wonderfully surprised when Jack said, "I want to take in some shows in the West End while we're in London, Dan."

Dan could have danced around the room, his smile threatening to split his face in two. "You've got it, Jack. I'm going to be your tour guide for a month! London, Paris, Rome, Berlin, wherever you want to go."

The conversation went on, making plans for their travels, talking about the future, getting to know each other better.

It was after midnight. They had eaten a delicious meal and then talked about almost anything that came to mind, beginning to weave their lives together. Prudence would have had them take this budding relationship more slowly, but Jack and Dan were on course with destiny. The sparks of attraction had turned into a steady stream.

At last, they left the restaurant and stood in the parking lot, still talking. Both of them had to be at work the next morning and needed to get some rest.

"Jack," said Dan, "normally I would kiss you goodnight. But I think that would be presumptuous of me, and I don't want to push too hard."

"You're right, Dan," replied Jack. "But we'll get there. I know it."

Dan held out his hand for Jack to shake. But he was surprised when Jack pulled him into a bearhug. They stood there silently, their arms around each other. Both men thought, for different reasons, that it felt so good just to be held like this. And they both were aware of the hardness of desire as their cocks pressed together through their clothes.

At last, Jack released Dan, got into his car, and drove off.

Dan stood silently for a few minutes, looking up at the full moon with tears in his eyes. Then he whooped joyously, did a full cartwheel in the parking lot, jumped into his car, and raced off into the night.

~~~~~~~~~~

Five - Baby Steps, Giant Steps

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Lao Tzu

Jack had come to a decision. He was going to sell Western Chemical, and he was going to quit his job. Now, to Jack the Accountant, this amounted to jumping off a bridge without measuring to see if the bungee cord was the right length. But to Jack the Man with a Dream, this was the first step to living again, living passionately.

Western Chemical had been founded and solely owned by his father-in-law, and when he died, Karen had inherited the company. Although Karen held the title of President, the company was really run by a group of five men and women. These Vice-Presidents of this and that were a sharp crew, and all Karen had to do was go to her office once a month and rubber stamp some things.

At Karen's death, the company came to Jack. And it brought with it the burden of being a constant reminder of his loss. He did his duty, but it was a cheerless task. He liked the leaders, and they supported him both as employees and friends. But they all knew that Jack was bearing a heavy load.

Jack drove to the company headquarters and walked into the administrative offices with an uncharacteristic bounce in his step. He barged unceremoniously into the office of Jerry Davis, the Senior Vice-President. Jerry looked astonished to see Jack there, and actually with a smile on his face.

"Jerry, I'm going to cut to the chase," said Jack. "I want to sell Western Chemical, and I want it to be quick. I have a good idea of what the company's worth, and I'll sell it for half that. That will keep me comfortable for the rest of my life and still leave a sizable inheritance for my son."

Jerry was speechless. Finally, he managed to say, "Jack, have you lost your mind? This is so sudden, and I really don't know what to say."

"Say yes," answered Jack. "I know you probably think my grief has finally made me go off the deep end. But I'm so sure of this. You know that this company runs very well without me. And you also know that this place has no good memories for me. I know what I'm doing, and I'd like to have it wrapped up in a month or so. Please figure it out and make it happen."

Jerry was quiet for a couple of minutes, then said, "Okay, Jack, consider it done. I'll meet with the other leaders today and start the ball rolling. You know, whatever has brought this about, I think you're right. This is the first smile I've seen on your face since your father-in-law died. What happened?"

Jack smiled and thought about Dan. "Let's just say I'm taking steps to live again. I'm going to Europe in a few weeks for a month or so. It's time I closed a chapter of my life, Jerry. You five will do very well here without me."

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan breezed into his office with a bounce in his step, humming quietly to himself. He didn't notice the look of surprise on the receptionist's face. Nor did he see the look of absolute shock on the face of his buddy Ian. He sat down at his desk, pulled out some files, and got to work on the contract he would be negotiating in London.

"All right, Dan, what the hell is going on here?"

Dan looked up to see Ian leaning against the door frame with raised eyebrows and many unspoken questions.

"What do you mean?" asked Dan. "I just came into the office and got to work. You look like you're part of the Spanish Inquisition, Mr. Torquemada."

"Dan, you waltzed in here, bouncing, yes bouncing down the hall. And you were humming! Who are you, and what did you do with my buddy Dan?"

Silence, then Dan came to a decision.

"Come in, close the door, sit down, and shut up," said Dan.

Ian closed the door and sat across the desk from Dan, leaning forward on folded arms and looking expectantly at Dan.

"Ian, I've met someone. Someone special. I think I'm falling for him. No, I'm sure I have fallen for him. I'm in uncharted waters, Ian, and frankly, I'm scared. He hits me here," Dan touched his chest, "he makes me feel again, Ian. I feel like I've fallen into deep water, and it would really help me to know you've got my back."

Ian was shocked. He had known Dan for over twenty years, often traveling together on company business. They both had developed a reputation for their hedonistic lifestyles and powerful sex drives. When they traveled, they both found sexual release each night after the day's business was done. They both were reported to be willing to stick their dicks into just about anyone willing. Except Ian was as straight as straight can be. Sometimes, they even compared notes about their sexual escapades in conversations that sounded like a porn film. Ian couldn't believe that his randy friend was talking about commitment.

"Are you sure, buddy?" he asked. "I mean, who is it that has made you change so suddenly like this?"

"His name is Jack. Jack Middleton. That's all I want to say for now. But, Ian, I know this is right. I'm going to London in a couple of weeks, and I'm going to use vacation leave to travel with Jack around Europe for a month or so."

Ian paused a few moments, the said, "Well, if you're taking yourself off the market, you're going to break Robert's heart."

Dan grimaced in disgust. Robert was a twenty-something cutie who was a courier for the company. He had set his sights on Dan and was constantly flirting outrageously with a lot of innuendo. Dan usually just rolled his eyes and ignored him. But lately, the flirtation had turned into something more like stalking. Still, Dan just dismissed the subject with a snort.

"Ian, my whole life has changed. The fast living I've had for years now is over."

Ian looked skeptical. "I'll believe the old Dan is gone when I see it."

Dan scowled. "Ian, you know the way I've lived for years. But I think now that I've missed the boat, that I've just been existing. Not having someone to fully share my life with. Sometimes I think that there's a hole in me that needs to be filled. Yes, Jack turns me on in a big way. But I couldn't even bring myself to jack off thinking about him. He's too special, and I can't miss this chance for happiness. I've been so lonely." Dan's voice trailed off and he sank his head onto his desk.

Ian was worried. He had never seen his friend like this. But something told him that this was real. He laid his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Don't worry, buddy, I'm here for you. And whatever happens, I'll always be here for you."

Dan raised his head with a feeble smile. "Thanks, Ian, that means a lot to me."

Ian straightened up and cleared his throat. "We'd better get our asses back to work. And don't forget that meeting with the new client at 1:30 this afternoon!"

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack was late to his accountant's office. His boss, Bill Landstrom, was none too happy with Jack's tardiness and looked pretty upset when Jack came into Bill's office.

"Bill, I know you're upset about my being late," said Jack. "And I know you need me to start training the new hires today. But I have bigger news. I'm quitting my job here. This is my two weeks' notice."

Bill was flabbergasted. "But . . . but Jack, why are you doing this to me? I need you here. You're my best employee, and we've got to get the new hires trained. I'm relying on you!"

"I'm sorry, Bill, but I've made up my mind. You know what I've been through the past several years, and you've been a good friend through it all. I've never properly thanked you for that, but I'm starting a new chapter of my life. I'm selling Western Chemical, too. In fact, that's why I was late today."

Bill saw the inflexibility on Jack's face and knew this was for good. But he also saw something else there: a look of hope that he hadn't seen in Jack for many years. Bill sighed, "Oh well, Jack, I can see that you've made up your mind. You have my permission to leave, as if you needed that. And if you ever change your mind, you'll always be welcome here. But may I ask, what happened to bring this about?"

Jack smiled and said, "I'd rather not talk about it now, Bill, but I know I'm doing the right thing. I'm moving on and not looking back. I'll help with the training, and I'll make sure I leave everything in order for you."

They shook hands, and as he left Bill's office, Jack began to get nervous. He still had to tell Sean about Dan!

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack pulled into Sean's driveway and turned off the engine. He sat there, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles, his head resting on his hands, trying to calm his racing heart. He had called Sean at lunch and asked him to stay home that evening so they could talk. Sean and Hannah spent most Monday evenings visiting her parents in Clear Lake, but Sean stayed home alone to meet with his dad.

Sean heard Jack's arrival and walked out onto the porch, trying to look encouraging. He saw Jack sitting in his car and began to worry. There was obviously something big on Jack's mind.