How the River Feels

Finally, Jack got out of the car and mounted the steps to the porch. He silently hugged Sean to his heart.

"Okay, Dad, I'm ready for whatever you want to tell me."

They went inside and sat in chairs on either side of the fireplace.

Jack began slowly. "Sean, I've been selfish, lost in my own pain and grief, not even thinking about how you lost your mother. I'm sorry, but I haven't thought clearly for several years. You got me to start thinking and feeling again, and I promised baby steps. But I've decided to take real giant steps."

"What do you have in mind, Dad?" asked Sean.

"I'm selling Western Chemical, quitting my job, and going to Europe for a month," said Jack.

Sean was stunned. Had his dad's grief finally made him go crazy? No, the man sitting across from him was plainly in his right mind, obviously a bit uncertain of the future but still in control. Sean knew his dad was not a man who made rash decisions.

"Are you sure, Dad? Is this what you really want?"

Jack nodded and smiled, and the it hit Sean.

"You've met someone!" Sean practically shouted as he jumped to his feet. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Jack said nothing, but he blushed and lowered his eyes.

"Okay, Dad. Tell me. What's her name?"

"Dan."

"Dan? Short for Danielle?"

Jack raised his head and looked Sean straight in his eyes.

"No, Sean. His name is Dan."

Silence.

"A man, Dad? You're interested in another man?"

Jack began to shake... He wanted to have never seen the look on his son;'s face. He felt sick to his stomach and wanted to run from the house, run away from himself. He couldn't speak.

Sean looked at the trembling man before him, and for the first time in his life, he saw his dad as someone fragile, someone who could be broken. Jack was Sean's hero, his rock. He knew that if all the world collapsed around him, his dad would still be there for him.

Jack sat still, unable to move or even form a coherent thought. So, he was surprised when he finally looked up to see through his tears, Sean kneeling in front of him, crying himself as he took Jack's hands.

"Dad, I don't get it. I don't pretend to understand it. But if this makes you happy, I'll find a way to deal with it."

"Sean, I don't want you to just deal with it." Jack wiped his eyes and thought a moment, then he said, "Do you remember the time we visited the Jenkins' ranch? You wanted to see the horses up close, so you climbed the fence into the paddock. But one of the horses didn't like strangers and charged at you. I've never seen anyone run so fast! You scrambled up the fence in the nick of time and threw yourself into my arms. How did you know that I would catch you?"

"I don't know, Dad. I just knew."

"You probably have no memory of this, you were so young. One time, I took you to the neighborhood swimming pool. I was trying to get you to jump in from the side, but you were afraid. I promised you that I would catch you. It took almost thirty minutes, but you finally jumped in, and I caught you. After that, you always trusted me. I know this is big, but I'm asking you to trust me about this. I don't understand it myself, and I'm scared to death. But as sure as I know I love you and would never let anything pull us apart, I know that this is right. I need Dan, and I think he needs me."

"Dad, I trust you, you know that. I guess it's just the shock. I don't understand this, but I understand you. It'll just take some getting used to. . . In fact, if he hurts you, I'll cut off his dick and use it for fish bait!"

Jack had to laugh at that. And he now knew that Sean would be all right. "He's a great guy, Son. I know he'll never hurt me. Don't plan on that fishing trip any time soon!"

They both laughed and Sean hugged his dad tightly, reassuring Jack of his love.

"So, Dad, when do I get to meet Dan?"

Jack hadn't thought that far yet. "I'm not sure, Son. I'll set up a time to have dinner at my apartment so you two can get acquainted, maybe next Monday?"

~~~~~~~~~~

After Jack left, Sean sat and thought. His world had just been upended.

A man! His dad was interested in a man! Nothing could have prepared him for this. Sean didn't even care about Jack quitting his job or selling Western Chemical. Those things at least made sense. But a man? Sean knew his dad had been a loyal and devoted husband to his mom, knew that Jack had been sexually straight as an arrow. And he knew his dad could be pretty rowdy in bed. What would it be li- . . . Nope! Better stop that train of thought.

Round and round went Sean's mind. He wasn't prejudiced. He often worked with gay men, and that didn't bother him. One of Hannah's brothers was gay. A gay brother-in-law didn't bother him. But this! This hit too close to home. His dad was interested in a man!

A memory came to Sean. It had been at a family gathering a couple of years ago. Keith, Hannah's gay brother, had said, "You know, Sean, everyone has their other half out there, somewhere. And when they meet, the looks, brains, even the sex of that person don't matter. What matters is that the two halves are now whole."

That made sense, but Sean was still wrestling with all this when Hannah and the boys came home to find Sean sitting in a dark living room.

"Sean!" exclaimed Hannah. "What's the matter? Is something wrong with Dad?"

Sean called his sons over and hugged them before sending them upstairs to get ready for bed, promising to be up soon to tuck them in.

Hannah sat on Sean's lap and cupped his face in her hands. "What's going on, babe?"

Sean sighed. "Dad's moving on, Hannah. He's selling Western Chemical and quitting his job. He's going to Europe for a month or so. . . And he's met someone."

"We'll, that's what you were hoping for, isn't it?" Hannah said, reasonably enough.

"It's a man, Hannah, a man. He's interested in a man. His name is Dan. That's all I know."

Hannah thought for a moment, then said "Sean, who's to say that people can't change, that they don't always find that they love the kind of person everyone else expects? I understand what you're feeling, to some extent. I was the first person Keith told that he is gay. He was too terrified to tell Mom and Pop. Why do we have to define people and put labels on them? If Dan makes Dad happy, then we should be supportive. Besides, if it were a woman, don't you think you would have some idea that Dad was replacing your mom? This way, it will never step on your memories of Mom. After all, he's still your dad, and you're still his son."

Sean smiled and began to relax. Trust Hannah to cut to the heart of the matter. He kissed her gently to thank her, but she deepened the kiss with passion. Sean forgot about his father in his need for his wife. His cock swelled as he felt Hannah's full breasts against his chest. He ground his manhood into her, feeling the heat of sexual desire growing. Finally, he broke the kiss, breathing hard.

"I've got to get the boys to bed," he said. "It won't take long, and then I'll be with you."

Hannah smiled seductively and squeezed Sean's crotch as she stood up. "I'll be ready for you."

~~~~~~~~~~

Dan sat in the meeting, his mind wandering, unable to focus. He was glad he wasn't really involved much with this new client.

As the meeting broke up, Mr. Pendergrass, his boss, called him over. "Where were you wool-gathering today, Dan? It's apparent your mind wasn't really with us."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Pendergrass. I've been distracted recently."

His boss looked at him keenly, said, "Dan, I think you need some time off. You've been really busy with company business for several months now. A change will do you good."

"Thank you, sir. In fact, I was thinking of using my vacation time after the contract negotiations in London. Do some traveling."

"I think that's a grand idea, Dan. Send the paperwork to my secretary and I'll sign my approval.'

"Thank you, sir. I'll do that today." Dan wondered what Mr. Pendergrass would say if he knew the real reason Dan wanted the time off!

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack was nervous as he prepared dinner. It was Monday, a week after he broke his news to Sean. During that week, he and Dan had seen in other in person only once over lunch, although they had texted and talked on the phone every night. Tonight was the big night, when Sean and Dan were to meet for the first time.

Jack had told Sean more about Dan, and a bit about how they had met. He was confident in his attraction to Dan, but he still had to deal with Sean's reaction. It was one thing for Sean to say he would support his father. It was another thing to actually meet the person. Sean loved his father deeply and was very protective of Jack.

Sean arrived early and helped by setting the table and opening a bottle of wine. The conversation was small talk, both of them obviously nervous about this meeting. Jack nearly jumped out of his skin when the doorbell rang.

Opening the door, Sean looked at Dan with a suspicious expression and stiffly shook his hand. Dan went to Jack and gave him a big bearhug. That calmed them both a little, but they were still on edge, all three of them.

"Dad, how much longer until dinner is ready? Dan and I can get better acquainted while we wait."

"About twenty minutes," answered Jack, trying to keep his voice steady.

Sean led Dan out onto the balcony. He was all business now. They both leaned against the railing, and Sean said, "So, Dan, I hear you have designs on my dad. Fill me in."

Dan was startled at this abrupt beginning. "Sean, I wouldn't call it having designs on Jack. I know about your loss of your mom, and I know how much your dad means to you. I'm not trying to take her place in your life, or come between you and your dad. When Jack and I first met, I told him that I'm gay, and if he had backed off, I would have honored that. But he didn't."

Sean's expression softened a bit at that.

"I want you to know things about me from my own mouth, not from anyone else," said Dan. He proceeded to give Sean a quick overview of his life: his broken family, the way he buried his pain in sexual promiscuity, the hedonistic lifestyle, the many men he had been with. "I've never had a real home. Someone whom I feel whole with. Someone to really love and grow old with. I think, I hope, that this could be with Jack."

Dan fell silent, his chest heaving, and his eyes filled with tears, partly because of his frank appraisal of his life, partly because of the realization that he truly did love Jack.

Sean smiled at Dan. "Just go slow with Dad. Please. He's been hurt so badly, and I worry about what might happen if he's hurt again."

Dan had apparently passed the test. They shook hands warmly.

"Dinner's ready," called Jack. He looked out towards the balcony and saw Sean and Dan smiling and shaking hands. He realized then how much he had been sweating and shaking. But it looked like all would be well.

Sean came in and caught his dad in a strong embrace. He whispered in Jack's ear, "It's going to be all right, Dad. And I don't think I'll need to take that fishing trip."

They both burst into laughter at that, telling a bewildered Dan that it was a private family joke.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack moved his hips, thrusting his hard cock into Karen's warmth. Her soft moans were music to his ears. Jack knew exactly how to give her pleasure. He bent his head to gently suck on her nipples and kiss her neck. He moved his hips from side to side to enter her from different angles, giving them both exquisite feelings from the friction.

As they both mounted ever closer to their orgasms, Jack picked up the pace and thrust deeper and faster into Karen. Finally, with a cry, Karen climaxed and clenched her muscles around Jack's cock as she experienced the tremors of sexual fulfillment. That was enough to push Jack over the edge, and with a loud shout, he came and shot his cum into her, each volley evidence of his love for her. He lay on top of Karen as his cock softened and slipped out of her.

"Jack, you need to move on. Dan is the right one for you." She looked over his shoulder and he turned his head to see Dan standing there, naked and erect.

Karen faded from view and Jack reached out his hand to Dan and lay there as Dan laid his body on top of Jack. Their cocks were hard as steel as they rubbed together, grinding their erections faster and faster as they climbed to their orgasms. Finally, both of them cried out as they both came, shooting their loads of cum between them.

Just as the dream faded, Jack heard Karen's words echo softly and gently in his mind. "Live passionately, Jack." He felt the warm wetness of his semen on his chest as he awoke.

~~~~~~~~~~

Six - London

What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined to strengthen each other, to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories." — George Eliot

Dan came into the hotel suite, set his briefcase on the desk, loosened his tie, and flopped on the sofa with a great sigh. Finally. The grueling, four day long meetings were over, and the contract was in its final form. Everyone seemed satisfied, although it would take two or three months for the contract to be approved and signed by all parties.

He went into the bedroom, stripped naked, and stretched out on the luxurious king bed. He tried to relax his tense muscles and clear his mind so he could get some sleep. But after tossing and turning for a while, he finally figured out his problem. He missed Jack.

Dan thought back over the week and a half before he had flown to London. He and Jack had had little time to meet in person since both of them had been swamped with work, Jack training new hires and Dan preparing for the London meetings. Although they talked on the phone every night for a couple of hours, they had had lunch twice and dinner once. That dinner date was memorable.

They had gone to Jack's favorite barbecue joint, a casual and rather noisy place. During the meal, Jack teased Dan with a little foot play under the table. He told Dan about what he would like to do to him when he had the opportunity. His descriptions were so detailed that Dan was hard as a rock and panting. He looked down at his crotch, thankful that it was out of sight. The almost desperate look on his face was compounded when Jack looked him in the eyes, glanced down at his own crotch. and just smiled. They both decided they had better behave. This was not the place for a repeat of their coffee house orgasms.

After dinner, they carried their conversation to the parking lot. Dan leaned against Jack's car, Jack stood in front of him, their bodies dangerously close, their hands joined with entwined fingers.

Then it happened.

Neither one ever knew who made the first move. They leaned closer and their lips brushed together. Dan felt the tip of Jack's tongue touch his lips, seeking entrance. He opened his mouth as their lips crashed together, their tongues dancing a furious tango.

They kept their hands joined at their sides, knowing they if they gave them freedom to move, they would soon be in big trouble, unable to stop. Their chests labored with heavy breathing as they kissed, oblivious to the world around them. Not that they would have cared what anyone thought.

Finally, they broke the kiss and leaned their heads together with heaving chests, eyes closed and lips smiling. After a few moments of silence, Dan looked into Jack's rich brown eyes, shining with delight. "I leave for London tomorrow. Damn it! I'm missing you already, babe."

Jack's eyes widened at the endearment which had fallen so easily from Dan's lips.

"Dan, consider that your goodbye kiss. I'll be there the day after you finish your meetings, and then we'll be together all the time for a month. I know we'll be making up for lost time."

Dan smiled as he remembered that date, then he realized he had been stroking his cock and rubbing his hairy chest while he had been reminiscing. His precum was flowing freely as his foreskin was covering and uncovering his cockhead as he stroked.

He thought of Jack's handsome face, his strong body, and that perfect ass that he would follow to the ends of the earth. And his kisses! Jack's kisses! They alternately sucked his soul out of him and then sent it crashing back into him with a rush of life-giving love. Dan could live on those kisses!

With rapidly mounting arousal, Dan stroked faster and tugged his ball sack as he approached his orgasm. With a shout, Dan pushed himself over the edge and his cock exploded. Ropes of cum shot out with such force that he hit himself in the face. It was on the headboard. Even the wall got some.

Finally satisfied, Dan relaxed and fell asleep, not caring about the semen covering his belly and chest.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jack looked out the window as the airplane taxied to the gate at Heathrow. The long flight was tiring, and he was grateful for the comfortable first class seat. The new adventure ahead made his heart race as he thought of seeing Dan soon and spending the next month traveling with him.

The many hours in the air from Houston had given him much time to just think. To his own surprise, his mind had taken him back, not forwards. He thought of his boyhood. Being an only child in a loving family, with few other children in the neighborhood, he was often alone. Jack plunged into reading. His favorite books showed his adventurous side: Tom Sawyer, Robinson Crusoe, Robin Hood. He read books about travel and geography, visiting exotic places in his mind. Others may have thought him a lonely boy. To himself, his life was filled with color and adventure, full of color and beauty.

This love of beauty led him to music and art. He listened and read, and his record collection steadily grew with albums exhibiting his eclectic tastes. Books of great art prints began to fill his shelves. And he developed a love of poetry shared by few other boys. He understood great music and art, even though he couldn't carry a tune or do more than doodle with a pencil.

Then Jack met Karen. Algebra Two, a boring math class to most students, suddenly became the most interesting place to be. The art lover in him responded instantly the first time he saw her. The attraction was immediate and mutual, and their friendship deepened over the next few years. It was not sexual at first, not until their senior year. The first time Jack kissed Karen lit a fire in his body that burned hotter each day, through graduation and into college. Even so, they remained virgins until they were married.

Married life suited Jack. Being a husband, and then a father, filled his heart with joy and happiness. Even through the difficult times, his family was his anchor. As Sean grew, he became Jack's playmate and alter ego. They developed a strong, unbreakable father-son relationship of a kind rarely seen.

What had become of Jack's love of beauty and adventure? They had become embodied in Karen. As long as he had her, all the rest faded into insignificance, and he was content. Their deep love for each other was a source of strength and support, through good times and bad. Their wedding vows were real. They both took the words seriously and were faithful partners in whatever life threw their way.

They made love twice a week, often more. The sex was loud, joyous, and volcanic. Jack's body was completely fulfilled and satisfied as they loved each other. They learned how to pleasure each other. Jack never gave a thought to any other woman. Karen completely fulfilled him, heart, mind, and body.

Then she was gone. Jack's life of outward ordinariness and inward color had darkened to a somber, ashen gray during the years of Karen's illness and death. Had it not been for Sean, his rock of love and support, Jack might not have made it through.