by BeccaLovesWolves
The story started with him walking home from work, then he conveniently had a motorcycle parked outside the diner where he followed his mate... He is the alpha, but he works a job where he can wear jeans? And his brother is taking care of pack paperwork, not the alpha? Hopefully these inconsistencies will be answered in the next few chapters.
I love these kinds of stories! A little build up before you really get into it:D I hope you get enough good comments on this to write lots more! Don't be like those people who start a good story and just quit on it. Whether people like it or not you should keep writing! Good luck!
One thing I notices is that there were a few tenses that were wrong, used a past tense when you should have used present, that sort of thing but otherwise interesting.
Good start :) Must admit I got confused with some of the story line - Daniel was walking home AND rode his motorbike home. Need proof reading before submit your story ok? Other than that, keep up with the good work
Its a great start you have me hook, I cant wait to read more it show some great potential I really hope you continue with this story cant wait to see were you take this .....
This was a good start. I'm intrigued. Something tells me those people weren't bitten by wild dogs though! I hope you keep it up.
Really like the start of this story. Hope I don't have to wait to long for the second part.
Very good start,it would be nice if they are a bit longer in the next chapters,look forward to more from you,
atleast he hasnt gone to her place and broken down the door like some stories. i also hope the guy she was with is just a friend or relative and not a romantic thing. breaking up a relationship to get her is just a fucked up thing.
Looking forward to the next chapter. This was very teasing to start us out. :)
I do hope you write more. You may also like to look into getting an editor. It sometimes helps to have someone else read it before you post.