I Call Dibs

I again stammered, "But I shouldn't take advantage like that."

She shrugged, rolled her eyes, and said, "Lots of bosses sleep with employees, and let me be clear that I consented and wanted to be with you. It was wonderful last night. Don't tell me you didn't feel anything. I sure did. A LOT!"

I sat a second digesting the news then realized something that floored me. She was my future. All of my future. She was my closest and best friend and I loved her deeply. She was perfect for me and had been my best friend for literal months and my lover for less than a day, but I had a true connection to her. Those are the things to build a relationship with. Being friends and lovers was part of a complete relationship. I sighed and admitted, "I'm in love with you."

"GAAAAH!" she squealed in delight, "I love you too, Joshua."

I came over and held her close. She loved me. How had she done it? Holding her was intoxicating... and... intensely comforting, like she belonged in my arms. She melted into me, kissed my cheek then melted and relaxed in my arms then sighed happily.

That was part of something that was very different from even the best days with Brittany. I had loved Brittany very much, but holding Amanda was fulfilling in ways that I never had with Brittany. Holding Amanda was comforting... Intensely so.

I asked, "So let's make this official. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

"GAAAH!", she squealed again., "YES!"

I asked, "What do we do now?"

She said, "Well. Obviously, I move in. Then again, I have nothing to move. I have nothing, Joshua except what is in the bank and my car. I'm literally your naked girlfriend with nothing. I have no clothes... then again, maybe I will just have to be naked for a while. I like being naked anyway. I come home and strip off. I eat, watch TV, and sleep naked. It's comfy."

I hugged her and she cuddled closer. She asked, "What is wrong?"

I said, "I... I'm happy just..."

She laughed and said, "What?"

I looked a bit nervous and said, "What if...?"

She signed and said, "Oh. That."

She looked at me seriously, "Joshua. I have never cheated and never will. Okay. I know Brittany hurt you, but I need you to open that heart of yours to me completely."

She held my gaze and gave me the most solemn promise I ever saw, "I promise..." She put my hand on her slit.

"This vagina is Joshua's vagina. I give it to you willingly and completely. Just as your penis is now mine. I will not even lip-kiss another man. Okay. I'm a loyal girl. Even Marc Lavalliere could not get me to stray. Well, he is dead now, but even if he was still alive after that husband cooked him in a trailer-mounted barbecue. I will not stray. I swear. I will *NOT* cheat."

She held my gaze and... I believed her.

I hugged her and cuddled her close.

She whispered, "You are only the second man I have ever been intimate with."

We ate dinner then she smiled and nodded toward the bedroom. This time was long and slow and intense with several orgasms for each of us.

We spent the weekend making love; sometimes fast, mostly slow. She loved intense missionary sex while making out. She's a naughty girl with no modesty. She answered the door stark-ass naked one for the pizza guy and once for the guy who delivers La Hacienda.

Saturday, August 11 2018

We made love that night all evening. Ya know what makes a man feel like a superhero?

Amanda says to me every time I penetrate her, "You feel so... sooo... good inside me." She is looking up at me with this indescribably loving and sexual expression as I am stroking softly but long inside her.

After we finally did have our climaxes, she giggled and I asked, "What?"

She said, "Confession. I've been in love with you since you were married. I just respected your marriage until your incredibly stupid ex betrayed you and I started to try to figure out how to make you mine. Then the fire happened and the opportunity came up for me to finally force things along. Margaret and Hank could not figure out how to get it done either."

I asked, "Margaret and Hank?"

She nodded and said, "Both helped me in plotting from the beginning. All of us at J Calvert Electric love you. Yep. Seven people love you. I love you as my guy and the others like treasured family. You're mine now and I'm the only one that gets to sleep with you. All of us owe you our livelihoods."

I said, "I don't understand."

She said, "You make our lives better and treat everyone well. That is why you have almost no turnover. That is why literally everyone showed up the night your whore ex-wife left with Billy Douchebag. Mondays aren't that bad because of you. Ever wonder why the boss is invited out to watch sports with the other employees who aren't the boss? Because you treat us all like family. That's why. That is also part of why I love you. You are a great man who is a leader, not a boss. Besides treating me well and with respect, you've been there several times to help me in a big way and I've seen you do the same for all of us."

I laughed and realized that in the months that I had been officially divorced, between her, Hank, Margaret and the rest being there for me and taking me out to bring me back to the living. I saw it now. Amanda was the one doing it more and more as Margaret, Hank, and the others begged off with more regularity. It was all a plot. A beautiful loving plot.

Saturday, August 25, 2018

It happened accidentally and beautifully.

We were in bed that morning after yet another session of intense lovemaking. It had been a good hour after the last actual sex and we were just laying and doing pillow talk. She reached over and gently stroked my cheek. Her hand was so soft and loving, "Joshua. I love you with all my heart."

I smiled and stroked her cheek in a similar way she had just stroked mine, "I could look into your eyes for the rest of my life."

She tensed then smiled and gave almost an imperceptible nod. I knew I had to do it.

I swear I saw a tiny glimpse of my future down the road with her looking back at me with love in her eyes decades later.

I knew. I just did.

I smiled, "Amanda. Would you do me the great honor of being my wife?"

She just nodded then came in for a hug with surprising strength for such a tiny woman, "Yes. I'm forever yours Joshua. Yes."

I sat up and then pulled her close as she did the same, "I think I owe you a ring."

She sighed, "I only need you."

I chuckled, "Let me clarify. Get up and get dressed. As much as I prefer you naked, I prefer you not arrested for exposure. We are going ring shopping."

She did not argue and fifteen minutes later, we were out the door.

We went to a half dozen stores, ending up at some hole-in-the-wall place owned by a couple. She designed her own. She loves colored stones and chose a half-carat diamond along with two tiny sapphire hearts and two tiny ruby hearts. It would take two weeks, but she had the ring she truly wanted.

We celebrated with dinner out with my entire work family. Margaret was a mess and crying throughout the dinner. Hank looked smirked at me the whole time like he was better than me. What a dickhead.

Saturday, September 10 2018

Amanda did not want a big wedding. Yes, I know that is a rarity.

Amanda was in a simple white flowered sundress and I was in my work pants and J Calvert Electric logo polo shirt. We were standing in front of the parts counter at work and I was across from her. Javier's uncle was a pastor of a small congregation and was next to us. It was basically the same people as the night at Outback Steakhouse dinner after my divorce was final plus my parents, my brother, and Amanda's sister. Margaret was my best man. Amanda's sister was the Maid of honor. Hank had the honor of walking Amanda down our parts warehouse aisle.

The wedding was the short version of the vows and we were married. We had the reception at that same Outback Steakhouse we had been at before.

I did get a shock when three other people showed up for the reception. Herb, the man who had worked for me for less than a year, was with two other people. I recognized the first; the man who had given me the note warning me about my upcoming troubles with Brittany.

I looked at him and said, "You!"

He smiled, "Tom Halver. Meet my wife Alicia."

I looked at the woman who looked vaguely familiar.

Herb clarified, "Alicia is my daughter. Tom is my son-in-law"

I asked, "What? How?"

Alicia smiled, "I met you once briefly with your wife when I dropped off my dad at your Christmas party because he had car troubles. I talked with your wife briefly. I was unemployed at that time and your wife mentioned there were openings for admins. She didn't really help me other than tell me where to look. It took a few weeks, but I applied and was assigned to one of the junior partners."

I said, "Okay, and...?"

She said, "I am ever grateful for what you did for my dad. He had money problems after his layoff right before he turned sixty-six and you gave him a job with dignity that allowed him to retire with dignity, and I will be forever grateful for what you did for him. I saw what was happening with your wife. Everyone in the building knew. I asked my husband to get a message to you. My dad asked Margaret where you were that day you got the note. He did not say why, just said it was personal and important. Margaret said where you were doing that estimate so my husband knew where you were."

I smiled at them all, "Thank you. It helped me a great deal with a very bad situation. I was able to head off things that may have been devastating to me."

Herb said, "Then it worked exactly as we intended!"

I nodded.

Herb said, "You never know when something good that you do for someone else is going to come back to you. Karma works in both directions."

The reception was decidedly low key and everyone was exhausted. The reception was tiny and ended by half past nine.

I made love to Amanda only once that evening as we were both truly exhausted. I spooned her afterward, holding her bare body against mine. Something I had the privilege of doing for the rest of my life.

The next day, we took off for England and walked the first hundred miles of the Southwest Coast Path. Just like me, Amanda loves hiking! I am married to my best friend!

Saturday, November 10, 2018

I sat with Amanda at our two-month anniversary dinner happily, at the ironically named Grenouille Heureuse which is French for 'Happy Frog'. Hey, the owner has a sense of humor. It was a high-end French place and Amanda insisted she was paying. We pooled our money so it was not technically true, but who cares? Yes, it is stupid to pool money. Yes, I insist. My marriage is all in or all out and that includes pooling our incomes. I'm all in and I was truly happy again.

HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?

Amanda was in a thin blue dress with a deep V-neck that pretty much covered her boobs until it didn't. Yeah, she loves showing off the girls and the straps that were moved to the side or fell a lot. She pretended to not notice her whole boob was exposed. Yeah, we both know it was deliberate but I was in nipple heaven.

Damn. Still. Really... How the hell did that happen? I was happy again. I swore off women and relationships after Brit-whore royally fucked me over and yet here I was happy with my wife, Amanda.

My thoughts about my happiness were broken when it happened. Brittany walked in with William DeBaugh, AKA Billy Douchebag. My ex came in next to him in an expensive deep V-neck Chiffon dress. I tensed up. We were on the left side and they were on the right side across and away so they did not see us.

Amanda looked over and said, "Your ex and Billy Douchebag."

I nodded. Amanda sighed and said, "I'm sorry."

I sighed and pushed it down. Betrayal blows. I had let it go, but it came back up on me... then I thought about how Amanda was better. Better in every way. Better. LIGHT YEARS... better.

I smiled and shrugged then said, "It still stings a bit but you are better in every way."

She got up, smiled, and kissed my cheek then said, "I have to use the facilities."

She went to the bathroom and it took a bit longer than I expected but thought, "Maybe she took a crap." Even the best woman in the world still has to crap like we all do. I sure hope it wasn't like the crap I had to take when Brit-whore confronted me. That would be bad.

Amanda came back and sat down but kept watching the door. It was odd, but I let it go. We were done with dinner and waiting for the check when it happened. A woman in her late fifties who weighed in the two-hundred-pound range came in.

She screeched, "WILLIAM!" She saw Billy Douchebag with my ex and walked across the floor to him. Some people sure are quick with their phones and were taking video. She was dressed in a gray-green pantsuit and kind of looked like a large angry lizard woman.

She walked almost like well.... Stomp! Stomp! Stomp!

Amanda said, "Just watch."

She did not have to say that. I was watching.

William started to rise.... She came up and just...

"Cheating bastard!"

SLAP!

SLAP!

SLAP!

SLAP!

He protected his face. His gut was open for some abuse.

Gut punch!

Punch!

He reached to protect his gut...

SLAP!

SLAP!

SLAP!

This was fun for me. Kind of like a live Three Stooges episode! No eye gouges tho. Darn.

He tried to protect both gut and face just as a twenty-pound purse was swinging into his face and he was sent sprawling backward over the chair to the words, "Cheating bastard!" He was out cold from his head hitting the floor.

The Lizard woman did not stop her assault once her husband was out cold. She picked up the bottle of very expensive wine and poured it all over Brittany's head. This was followed by her twenty-pound mega purse sending Brittany backwards and onto the floor as the Lizard woman yelled, "Trollop! I bet he bought you this dress you slut!"

Interesting fact: Chiffon is not the strongest fabric in the world. The Lizard woman grabbed the dress at the bottom of the cleavage and started yanking. Brittany was no match for Lizard woman and the dress was torn clear off her. She was now down to a g-string and her heels. Damn, Brittany really did have nice big natural DD-Cup tits.

I have no idea why women want to strip each other naked when fighting, but this was fun to watch. Brittany tried to reciprocate by stripping the gray-green dress, but Lizard Woman was double her strength and now even more pissed off. You guessed it, the thong was next and Brittany was now nude save her shoes. Now pretty much all customers had their phones out taking pictures and video.

Brittany rolled over and tried to push herself up to get away. The Lizard woman came over and pushed her down Then sat on top of Brittany and went full fetish!

YEP!

COOL!!!

"SLUT!"

Spank

"SLUT!"

Spank

"SLUT!"

Spank

"SLUT!"

Spank

"SLUT!"

Spank

It was like two minutes of hard spanking and normally I hate that BDSM shit. Not this time!

It took the owner of Grenouille Heureuse, the maitre'd and two cooks to pull Lizard Woman off Brittany whose ass cheeks were now an angry red. As they pulled Lizard woman away, the owner looked at the huge mess and then told everyone the night was done and they had to close. Dinner was comped.

Amanda looked at me as we walked out the door and asked, "My gift to you for our two-month anniversary. I found Billy's wife on Linkedin and made a call. Did you like your present?"

I walked out and looked at my amazing wife and said, "I love you."

She smiled and said, "I'm yours loyally forever."

I was originally content to live a good life as my revenge. Amanda was an amazing woman with a libido that kept me drained to the point some days I could not get it up. Life was wonderfully well lived.

Ya know? I kind of like living a good life AND my ex and her paramour being an embarrassing viral video on the internet better.

Amanda stripped her dress off in the car. Panties? Hell no. Amanda has zero modesty and I love it. We went home and Amanda took my hand to lead directly to the bedroom. She said three words for her favorite way for us to be intimate, "Two become one."

She craved me as much as I craved her and it was intoxicating. It was long ultra soft sex as Amanda laid down and opened her legs. I slid in and didn't move.

We kissed and I said, "I love you."

She kissed back with her love for me shining in her eyes, "I love you."

Deep wet kissing while we swore our love for one another. We coupled for a literal hour that way. It wasn't about the orgasm we finally had at the end. It was about Joshua and Amanda as one...

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The following Wednesday Amanda came into work and came into my office and turned on the radio to 104.9 and the Warren Weasel and Mike Tubbs 'of lard' show.

I rolled my eyes, I still didn't care for their show but I humored my wife who said, "Just listen."

A couple of minutes later...

"Hey, Warren!"

"Yes, Mike?"

"Want to know what the definition of pathetic is?"

"Why yes I do!"

Mike said, "We have a video linked on our webcast. It's on Uncensoredvids.com because it is very not safe for work. For those at work, our town's resident ambulance chaser Warren DeBaugh took his slut mistress to dinner at a fancy restaurant."

Warren chuckled, "Oh this is awesome!"

Mike laughed, "Yes it is! His wife found them at dinner and proceeded to beat William up then strip the slut naked and as a bonus..."

Warren laughed hard.

Mike finished, "After beating him up his wife went all 50 Shades and spanked the mistress until she glowed."

"Anyway. Our shyster friend got his ass kicked by his wife. So..."

Warren egged him on, "I guess we must do it."

"Anyway. We must do it. We are revoking William's man card for getting his ass kicked by a girl."

Warren quipped, "Everyone over the age of eighteen head to our webcast page and hit the link. As a bonus, the mistress got stripped naked and she has a spectacular rack and a gorgeous kitty for everyone to see!"

Amanda kissed my cheek, "I made a call yesterday when I heard about the video surfacing. Mike and Warren remember me well from the soccer game and did me a solid."

I looked at my wife and smiled.

Amanda simply said, "I have your back. Hopefully, you like my little gift."

That afternoon, they dressed their intern Fat Freddy as a process server and sent him into William's office. I guess it was fairly common for servers to come into the office and ask for the lawyers. Honestly, I am surprised William came out, but he did.

Freddy asked, "William DeBaugh?"

William said, "Yes."

William held out his hand expecting an envelope or other document.

Freddy said without any mirth in his voice, "We are aware of the situation at the restaurant where you were assaulted by your wife."

William looked angry but unsure where things were going.

Freddy said, "I am here to take your man card away for getting your ass kicked by a girl. "

William turned red with rage, "Get out or I'll call the police to remove you!"

Even the receptionist smirked as Freddy turned and left. Freddy had the whole thing on video. His belt buckle held a GoPro.

MY Amanda.

THE BEST WIFE EVER!!!

Warren Weasel and Mike Tubbs 'of lard'...

Yeah... are growing on me.

*******

Life is funny. After our wedding reception... As it turns out, my big brother bedded his future bride that night. Yep! Amanda's sister. I was the best man at my brother's wedding to Anna the following July. Anna is much like her sister and somehow tamed my obnoxious brother into a husband and future father. That love story?... LOL! WOW!

But that story, my friends, is for another day!

*******

Yes, Marc LaValliere belongs to George Armstrong. Writing creative ways of his demise are simply enjoyable. Yes, there are tiny references to a ton of other tropes and themes.