All Comments on 'I Have a 50-50 Chance Ch. 02'

I am not an editor, but would gladly be a Beta reader. Some of the errors are very distracting from a well thought out story.

I would have to agree that the errors made the story difficult to read. This was a difficult situation. One time cheating due to alcohol (and drugs?) basically destroyed the family. I think Tommy could have be persuaded to talk to her for 1 hour just so he doesn't have to pay her for his company. I think you didn't cover the consequences of what happened to Larry well enough. I hope Tommy would get some therapy, and find someone new after some time. I think Karen learned a hard lesson, and hopefully protects her 2nd marriage better than her first. I think Tina could be in a lot of trouble if she discusses Karen or Karen's kids at work. Those kids are not family, and Karen will be seen as a stupid slut, and if Tina protect Karen chances are she will lose her job. This story really had no winners; just lots of losers and Larry should have lost a LOT more.

I liked the story but please get an editor for any further tales.

The cheated on husband was psychotic and deserves to be lonely for the rest of his life.

John was right to kick the hoe out

So the slut get a happy ending with no lesson ?

Very confusing to read.

The story was shit by the end with the bitch getting a happy ending and the spelling was even worse.

It was a shame that she got a happy ending that she didn't deserve.

Keeping the paternity results from Tommy, and digging her claws into his business, just proved what a toxic bitch she really was.

Tommy did nothing wrong for all the vitriol that was thrown at him during this story. He didn't fuck his boss and get pregnant. He only wanted a faithful wife and since he couldn't have that he cut bait, she knew how he felt before the fact,they had discussed it. She just hoped he would violate his own morals for her. Then when she knew that wasn't going to happen she moved another guy in within a year of this whole fiasco? Yeah hard to be on her side.

The story is asinine. Author has no concept of the law or legal proceedings, or even basic relationships.

In what universe does this all not end with Jonathan's disbarment?

Karen and the babies got screwed. She should have gotten a much bigger settlement from WDB for sexual harassment. Larry was a weasel. He got off easy and is a coward when it comes to his twin daughters. A college fund is nice but, in the meantime, (18 years), they get nothing. No father, no paternal family and child support. Karen rolled over too easily and the twins lost.

Could you possibly make Karen anymore of a despicable cheating wife?? She was more worried about protecting her boss that knocked her up than her husband or marriage. Every time she had to chose between her husband or something else she always chose something else. Then in less than a year from the divorce she already has hooked another cock. Yeah, that divorce really tore her up. Hopefully she gets hit by a bus.

It helps to have a sympathetic main character... Or secondary character... Or tertiary...

Well someone in the story who is a least kind of likable if you were to meet them at a party but knew you would never need to see them ever again.

This story lacks such a character.

I liked the story - shame about not being able to get an editor.

Still - I enjoyed reading this tale.

the courtroom scenes were ridiculous the judge should have disqualified Johnathan as counsel for the law firm on the grounds of conflict of interest once he stated how he represents each party in different legal actions. Judge should have stated that unless proof of the cheating was given in court Karen was going to jail for obstruction of justice.

Glad Tommy stood tall and refused to see Karen or her children without the DNA test results.

I respect him for paying Karen off instead of meeting with her, there was no emotional or psychological upside for Tommy only more pain. Karen is clearly a slut as she had sex with Larry and late while still married to Tommy and trying to get him to stay married to her she fell for and was having sex with a third man.

I didn't like it! Tommy was made to look like a real bastard that preferred to lost some of his business than talk to her? She cheats and find a wimp to marry her and take her two bastards? What was Larry's wife decision after finding out about his cheating and two daughters?

The narrative is decent, if not good. The narration, though, is dry and the language abysmal... Please be much more careful in the future because they way you write and spell, I find offensive! Keep well!

I'll just say this; no one goes to this site to read about courtroom proceedings.

Quite the mess.

Too many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors get an editor.

Don't like that she comes out looking like an angel and her husband the bad guy. He didn't throw away 5 years of marriage over a simple mistake. He had a wife who cheated, did not appear at all sorry, she was keeping the two children she knew were to his. Every time he looked at the kids he would be reminded of her cheating. This is not the same as raising two children that are not yours because you chose to adopt or marry a divorcee or widow. This is your wife that cheated and got pregnant. Huge difference.

A good story but the author would benefit greatly by the use of a couple of editors. The cliff edge moves to anther place / person were confusing and made the story lose its flow. But please don't give up!

Good story. I got confused a couple of times in transition. You might want to read this over and maybe add a couple of sentences. Better than first story and keep plugging. ,TM

This was a good plot idea. The wife’s character was developed. Every other character was a cardboard cut out with little development. Tommy should have had more dialogue even with other characters than his wife to expose his emotions etc.

The story telling was badly done and confusing at times. The legal proceedings were unrealistic and too much of the story.

The details of the legal stuff was too much and the the ending was too rushed with all the in my opinion unnecessary illegal money laundering.

In my opinion this story just plain sucked. You spent way too much time writing a courtroom drama, when it’s obvious that you understand nothing about court procedure. You also tried to paint the cheating cunt as a victim. She fucked around, got pregnant with another man’s kids, had the kids and tried to hide the paternity from her husband. Ultimately she and her shyster lawyer helped her former company cover up their crimes. One star for the effort.

This story needs an editor for the chaotic manner in which the thread is written.

Started getting a migraine reading this, why waste time coming up with this...

You should have left well enough alone with the first story. This was just pathetic. It certainly didn't make the cheating wife any more likable. She certainly didn't waste any time suckering in another fool. Only a matter of time before she cheats on him also.

Terrible craftsmanship along every dimsion of writing.

Man that was a trip into the twilight zone. The legal ramblings were beyond asinine but what takes the cake is how entitled the author made the adulteress. For her actions she got a huge payout, the love and affection of both her parents and siblings friends and associates as well as that of her in-laws as well. All these agents are there to support her in her time of need and prop her up and justify or mollify her bad decisions. With such positive reinforcement from her family and friends, the legal system, her former employer, why would life not turn out ok for her? The drawback of the world finding out about her affair and pay off will be muted by the close knit group of people she has constantly surrounding her, but the estranged husband what does he get? He gets the full brunt of everything: from the cheating wife, to kids that are not his, to his own family siding with the adulteress, to shame and ridicule from the wider world knowing of what happened, to loosing 1/2 the asset value of his business to the person that has caused him the most pain. This wouldn't be so sad if some of these elements did not actually happen in real life. Yeah truly the twilight zone where Up is Down and the Horizontal is now Vertical.

I'm glad you found an editor. However, I suggest you find a different one. I didn't really notice a decrease in the amount of grammatical and spelling errors. Further, they didn't seem to be much help turning your disaster of a court scene into something resembling reality. So, basically, I have no clue what editing they did, unless you accidentally posted the copy you sent them instead of the edited version they sent back?

To give you a bit of help, I noticed multiple times that you used "know" when you meant "now" and "do" when you meant "due". Also, lawyers object, not abject, although neither the lawyers nor the judge in this story seemed to know how a trial works.

Amneocentisis. In utero dna test. my baby's I would take her back his babies abort if she wants me back.

Wow! My head is spinning from trying to wrap itself round that. Any sympathy for Karen evaporated the moment it was revealed that she'd withheld the results of the DNA test from Tommy in a cynical attempt to add insult to injury by having him raise another man's children, on top of all the abuse hurled at him by all the feminazis for having the temerity to stick by his principles rather than live as an emasculated cuckold.

Sorry 2nd chapter did not make much sense, if she wanted Tommy back and knowingly her children weren’t Tommy’s. Still protecting her scumbag ex boss? Not a very good read. I did like the 1st chapter… had potential.

I know I can be dense, but I got so lost at the end that nothing seemed to make sense. This is not as good as Chapter 1 in my opinion.

1st chapter was good, even when the husband abandoned his wife after the rape. I wouldn't have signed any contract that says his wife isn't allowed to know about the cheating.

2nd chapter shows the wife having no real love for her husband. She even continues to protect her company and her lover against the FBI. She obviosly has more feelings for her company and her lover. No sympathy for her. I hope there is a 3rd chapter where the crimes are revealed.

1. Write any damn thing you want.

2. Too convoluted for my tastes.

3. Kudos for liking to write in addition to liking whiskey

4. Wine, whiskey, Scotch, bourbon et. al. drinkers are hysterically funny with their tasting nonsense.

Was there a point to this story?

A bit of context isn't a bad thing. Dialog after dialog with no idea who said what.

Better than I can write but, she cheated but by the end she was the victim. That won’t get you any fans around here.

A confused mess. 3 stars.

I have some more comments:

Lawyers specialize. Jonathan was a corporate lawyer. There is no way in H-ll he would do criminal defense or family law. Each area is very specialized. He would know who to contact, and might call in favors but no way would he do all of that himself. The courtroom scene was a joke. Although there are fools in every profession, it would not have gone anywhere near the way you wrote and Jonathan would have been a poor choice as an attorney based on his specialty of corporate law.

What I don't understand is why Karen didn't take Plan B after she had sex with Larry, or get an fetus DNA paternity test done. In essence she stuck her head in the sand and prayed for the best outcome, and totally ignored what could happen. In fact she didn't accept the consequences until there was absolutely no choice.

Bottom line - Karen got off way to easily; Tommy got a raw deal and deserved a better ending, and Larry deserved a bus load of Karma to hit him.

Not all stories end the way we want them, but this story had a lot of faults.

Karen was a victim of a predator. Her husband should have been a true man and stood up to Larry. Tommy was too proud of his manhood to stand up for his wife. YesKaren was wrong in drinking, but pigs like Larry walk away, not damaged. And Karen looks like a cheating tramp.

I thought it was a great story.

And all you anonymous posts, be a man and use your name. You are just like little dick, Tommy.

So, your bio doesn’t say but you’ve almost certainly got to be a woman. You write purely from the woman’s perspective and it reads like a feminist manifesto.

The husband isn’t even a bit part to this tale and we don’t hear anything of his POV.

The only male character is his lawyer brother who seems like a poster boy for slimy immortal lawyers. Despite ‘supporting his brother’ (unlike the rest of his family). He jumps in to represent her in all her legal dealings, most brothers would say ‘screw the cheating bitch who betrayed my brother’ bit then he also reprinted the guy she cheated with.

Despite his brother being outed publicly has a cuck whose wife got knocked up ducking her boss behind his back. He worked to protect the man she cheated with and stop his wife finding out and possibly destroying their family.

He then seems to have aided a criminal organisation in the mean time.

His sister stays close to the cheating wife even after finding out she hid from her brother who the father was to try and trick him into staying with her. Sisters scum and he should have nothing more to do with her.

The wife gives the husband would raise another man’s kids just because they didn’t look like their actual father. Surprise, no man would raise the kids of a man his wife cheated on him with. (Apologies to the seemingly millions of American cucks out there who are chocking now on their creamoie)

All in all she cheated and lost little except for the husband she betrayed and humiliated. Wonder if the brother reoriented her to take half the company off his brother too.

So, in a truly entitled, narcissistic, Disney ending age for a family, knew bodftrend abd the support and love of everyone around.

The loser husband after being hurt and humiliated disappears with no mention. But, hey, he’s got the backstabbing sister lin laws, the immortal shark lawyer brother and half of the company he created. His other two brothers and parents were also obvious by their absence. Giving the impression he faced all that alone.

But, hurrah for the poor poor me Charing slut, who saw the chance to fuck George Clloney (mark 2) without much guilt has she had an excuse ‘ Ibwsd drunk’

Remember her first thoughts waking after her sex with the boss including ‘ I took a shower to clean everywhere, after you know’

Rape victims font happllily carry on after being abused or worry about the fate of their Taoist’s family or his reputation.

Another way you can tell it was modern feminism is the money nd the wife’s feelings were more important than the husband

Glad she got rid of that whinging little guttersnipe Tommy. What a total arse. She would very much better with a real man like Roger who would treat children as his own no matter who is the DNA donor. She did so well to get rid of the family of bullies

JusTeenK - husband comes across as psychotic

What evidence do you base that on from both takes.

His wife cheated, they both had agreed either cheating was divorce. He kicked her out and then left the lawyers arrange the divorce. He refused to talk? That’s psychotic ?

What’s psychotic about refusing to talk to her. There’s nothing to be said, she’s read from the cheaters handbook.

I’m so sorry, I made a mistake

I was drunk

It meant nothing

It was just sex

It was a one off

I’ll do anything to make it up to you (like baking his favourite apple pie???)

Then she announces she’s pregnant, their first child and it’s 50/50 it’s her bosses. .

Does he lay a hand on her, burn the house down, hire some killers to take them out? (Kill them, not for a threesome)

Then she lies, her and her gal pals try to pressure him, gaslight him, guilt him, manipulate him and try all manner of childish efforts to sabotage the divorce. Because the poor cheating wife deserves to be forgiven.

Would these women be as supporting if the husband had cheated? Think about it, would they? Why do cheating women need forgiving and cheating men need castrating or left with nothing??

His own sister instead of feeling compassion or support for her brother takes the cheating wife’s side (as do the sister in laws, her divorce layer and the maternity nurse) like one big toxic feminist support group.

And, still he won’t talk, won’t even consider raising her bosses kids, despite her arranging a college fund for both dubs from theirreal dad who won’t take part in their life.

Terrible, he doesn’t fancy changing diapers, financially supporting and all the work that goes into raising children, his wife’s first (possibly only) children, that she had cheating with her boss. Or going without sexual relief for an indefinite period as she recover, has she’s tired, as young babies/children demand time and attention and they’ll all be worn out from having and raising another man’s chgijdren..

Doesn’t fancy becoming financially liable till age 18 whether she cheats again or not or being a laughing stock all around town.

It’s worth sacrificing your favourite apple pie to avoid all that.

And all through it he stays solid to his belief cheating ends a marriage - refuses to discuss it / and that’s psychotic?

Snowflake

Yes, idiots are not dying out. This author and his story prove it!

Hurray the heroine lived happily ever after. Puke.

This could do with a follow up, maybe from someone with a less pro-fem attitude.

Maybe, a year later Tommy and friends collar Larry, who got away without suffering at all, during a beating Larry lets slip about the money laundering.

Tommy takes it to his slippery but excellent lawyer brother, who he’s now estranged from after he supported his cheating wife and her lover in court.

Johnathan sees he’s inadvertently helped out a criminal company she approached the FBI and they set out to uncover the shady dealings, while kicking it to Larry and his partners and also making the entitled cheating rife suffer a little along the way.

Hate having the ‘bad guys’ come out on top but to this writer please don’t write anymore

Karen loved her husband and wanted him to forgive her after she had 3 kids with another married man while married and lied to the husband she supposedly loved their entire marriage? Then immediately fell in love with an unintroduced character and lived happily ever after? No mention of where the kids are and what they think? Each chapter in this story just got worse and makes less sense....

Who's Frank?

AMAZING story!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars!!!

Will there be a third part, that may close up some of the voids in this story?

So this was three pages of courtroom drama written by someone who has absolutely no clue what happens in a courtroom. Sad.

Take out all the misspelling and context errors and it’s only one page long.

Well, this has to be one of the messiest stories that I have had to make any sense of in a very long time. I get the parts of the preliminary hearing and the convoluted questioning of the lawyers. A lot of the twists and turns could have been avoided had we known that Larry was the father after all however I understand the reasoning by the author to write a comprehensive story. Yeah, the dialog could have been more delineated as to who was speaking and what they were saying and I lost part of the story toward the end of the hearing. Overall a good attempt at a LV Wives story.

A lot of misspelled words and a story line that was extremely hard to follow.

I was wrong. I thought part 1 was worst story ever posted here.

So the slut lives happily ever after and the faithful husband gets fucked! All the whore had to do was take plan B or get an abortion, to give a chance to save her marriage. I guess the story does make clear how dumb she is. What a letdown, she marries the first swinging dick that will accept her bastard kids. Who does she cheat with next and cuck Roger, a Brad Pitt look alike?

If only Karen had that kind of loyalty to her husband. Withholding the DNA. She just keeps making bad decisions seems that's like more of the norm for her. Not my cup of tea. Bit good on you fro writing a follow up despite all the vitriol here. Look forward to your other submissions.

The courtroom part was funny, but the rest was just another cheating wife with an excuse who tried to make an innocent husband raise another man’s child. That won’t win you many fans here.

The story was good, unfortunately the writing was not. Even if you can’t get the help you need please at least actually read your story not just skim through it. Difficult? Yes! Impossible? Not at all.

Also trimming some of the unnecessary description would help make it more readable.

All in all decent work. Thank you for sharing your efforts.

Karen is a trainwreck not quite sure she has made one good decision yet. Trainwrecks are hard to ignore though. Good plot I suppose. The husband is a douche. Even if they were his which he didn't it is not worth the heartache and anger. If she is an evil cheating wife let go this angry man bullshit is juvenile. How much anger could you have, you were married five years. 20 percent of all marriages on average end in five years or less. One out of five and imagine that the world survives. Sometimes these stubborn male characters baffle me. Most men do not hold on like this they move on. Other than that liked the story line.

so the slut comes out with money from both ends. she takes money from ex, babbies dad, suing FBI and all husband gets is disrespect from the whore.

Soap Opera!

4

Her new husband is just as fucked as her ex husband, its just a matter of time and opportunity, and the excuse of being drunk, again. The selfish bitch just continued her deceit and betrayal. All she had to do was put the kids up for adoption as soon as she knew they were bastards, but she wanted what was best for Her, fuck her ex husband's feelings and humiliation. Tommy is MUCH better off without the the lying cheating dishonest whore. Its not that just that she's immoral and unethical, she's just too Stupid to be a decent wife and mother. Good riddance, and God help the children with a brainless bitch like that for a mother. I wonder when she's going to tell her daughters the truth about their parentage, their conception, and what she did to her former husband. That might be an interesting sequel, where its Tommy who finally tells the twins the truth, after their mother is divorced, again, for the same reason.

You are not a good writer. You have multiple misspelled words, and in some paragraphs your grammar really sucks. In some places here and there a word is left out. You either need a proof reader, or an editor really bad.

She still using lame excuse of drunk

Cough syrup quite specific in label about not drinking alcohol. She smart But can't read??!!? Why does Tommy have to be bad guy.?!!

She cheated and had another man's children!!!!!

The story wanders too much in the end and not clear. Otherwise okay.

I normally find the husbands have my sympathy in stories such as these. This one, however has a complete loser as the husband. While any man would go through a half dozen or more emotions and perhaps emotional reactions/outbursts, after the blood cools a bit a man's better nature will emerge. This assumes 2 things of course: that the man has a better nature, and; that it's a man. All bets are off if he's a boy with pubic hair and evidently that's the furthest your Tommy will ever evolve. He can't come to understand the unearned yet precious gift of those twin girls he doesn't deserve them or their mother. His wife lucked out by having him leave her. I pity the life his next wife will live. Fuck him.

Also, no offense meant but you might search an editor

Cheating skank slut got off way too easy. Would be great if Roger ends up cheating on her and tossing her and the bastard twins to the curb.

What a mess.

This is clearly one of your worst stories, it was so disjointed, just plain awful.

None of the main characters had any redeeming features, not one!!!!

Karen was a blithering idiot, she needs to be taken out the back and just shot, she’s sooo stupid.

Scores 2/5, it was just too hopeless.

Lame ending.

Chapter one was a very good lead in to number 2. The end result of two was understandable, but the lack of communication with her husband, the large amount of money being thrown around was unbelievable and a blank ending on the characters made it an average story. Good beginners try. 3 stars

Wargamer was too kind. The wife was an idiot and was one of the most unlikable characters in Literotica. Most of the other characters are almost as unlikable as the wife.

One Star.

Very confusing, disjointed.

100% is the odds from this story teller.

Hard to follow at points.

Well that was disappointment.

Might have been nice to have a word or two about Tommy. Did he regret his actions? Did he ever speak to Karen?

Fucking stupid. Sucked.

"throw away five years of marriage over a horrible mistake,"

Some authors have really strange views. If what the criminal fraudster did was a terrible mistake, then we have completely different views on life.

She cheated and is blessed with children from her lover. How does she want to humiliate and degrade her husband even better? Her husband was far too lenient. At least he was consistent and steadfast!

This author must have scrambled brains. Stupid ass story.

Have twins with another man? Drunken mistake? She gets caught, they buy off the catcher and more sex? She’s slut of worst order. As her husband I might use her to get off while I get over her but absolutely no future. How can author doubt that. Broom her.

Bad characters, bad story.

So poorly written that I have no idea who did what to whom.

Not a bad plot, but you put too many characters in, too many names

Uggh. Previous chapter had writing issues but this one went through some sort of hallucinogenic spin cycle. Ouch.

Should focused more on the story rather than pulling random names out of nowhere. Longer doesn’t mean better

Despite her manipulations she rightfully ended up divorced. What bitch try’s to hide the tue father of a child and get the husband to raise them?

What a bitch, and his family barring his brother are not much better.

Shockers the lot.

Jesus no likable characters at all in this story

No us for tommy shwas drun an had no idea what sh was dong

didnt care for this at all